8210+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

🏆 Winning stories

“Hair-Dryer Day” by Tess Ross-Callahan

🏆 Winner of Contest #262

I didn’t know there could be a day too hot for planes to fly but I guess I should’ve, because lord knows it’s entirely too hot for anything else to happen. I figured I should still take the dog out but honestly as soon as I opened the door, he looked at me with these doleful eyes like, Are you kidding me? Makes sense. I was ready to crawl out of my underwear and just walk around with a creatively placed fig leaf or something, so you gotta figure it’s even worse for a furry guy. When we went back in, I dug an old t-shirt out of the ...

127 likes 38 comments 38

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“Clearance Aisle Libations” by Bay Colt

🏆 Winner of Contest #221

The worst part about being an amateur necromancer is that no one respects you, not even the dead. My older brother, Joseph, is practically crying over the phone, struggling to speak through great gasps of heaving, wheezing laughter. After way too many seconds of this, he finally manages to choke out, “Really? Goddamn—Mountain Dew?” Irritated, I switch the phone to my other ear, tipping my head awkwardly to pin it in place while I free up my hands for my shovel. “It was the only drink left on clearance.” Joseph makes a thin, stifled little...

118 likes 104 comments 104

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“Cell 3.47” by Kate Hughes

🏆 Winner of Contest #219

Cell 3.47 was situated on the third floor of B wing in Stocken Gate prison, slap bang in the heart of London’s east end. Known as The Gate, the prison had a reputation for being a tough place to do time. The inmates behind the doors at The Gate endured long cold winters in the Victorian slammer that had been condemned many times but had always escaped closure. It was harsh, it was hard, and it was overrun by rats.Paula Pritchard was the sole resident of cell 3.47, but due to the rodent crisis she was rarely alone. All her schemes to see to t...

134 likes 72 comments 72

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⭐️ Recommended stories

“Mail Order Bride” by Tom Mollica

Submitted to Contest #281

Tom Mollicatom@studiotommy.com 414-383-3886 Mail Order Bride Bob put a Hungry Harold Salisbury Steak dinner in the microwave and set the timer for three minutes. Ten seconds later, the doorbell rang. Bob sighed and hoped it wasn’t any of his friends showing up unexpectedly and interrupt his lunch. Opening the front door, a female ITS (International Trucking Service) delivery driver stood outside with a big box on a wheeled dolly. “I have a delivery for Bob Gronkle.” “I don’t remember ordering anything – especially something this big.” The d...

3 likes 0 comments 0

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“Santa’s Right-Hand Guy” by Ej Vizzard

Submitted to Contest #281

Ah, Christmas in Bavaria. For most folks here, it’s a time to lounge by the fire and watch snow gather on the mountains. For Santa and me, it’s the busiest day of the year. We tramp from house to house with our sacks, knocking on doors. He pulls gifts from his bag for the good kids; I stuff the naughty ones into mine. Their eyes widen the second they see my gnarled horns. By the time I bare my fangs, they’re usually bawling so hard I don’t need to show them my snakelike tongue—but I do anyway because it’s a howl. Then I jam them, beggin...

1 like 0 comments 0

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“The Moral of the Story” by Ian Gonzales

⭐️ Shortlisted for Contest #277

The guard leading me into the room gives a hard yank on the chain. Pain lances through my neck, and I snarl, baring my impressive fangs for full effect. He shies away, naked fear on his face, before remembering which of us is supposed to be the prisoner.“Watch it, mutt, or you’ll be drinking out of the toilet through a wired jaw,” he says, his tough-guy tone betrayed by the quaver in his voice and the stink of fear in his scent.I snort in contempt. “Oh, please, CO. We both know who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf.”His expression hardens, mouth ...

26 likes 4 comments 4

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✍️ All stories

“The Adventures Of Frank And Susan, Zombie Janitors” by Jeff Pfeiffer

Submitted to Contest #281

Frank the zombie was a janitor in his former life and as it turned out, he was raised from the dead to continue his former profession. He was really hoping that after he died, he would be in paradise or at the very least resting in peace for eternity. But karma or fate or whatever, had other plans. Manzoor the necromancer who summoned him from the grave, was apparently also an entrepreneur. He created a startup company he called NecroSource that not only used the undead as a cheap source of labor, but also provided a clean alternative source...

0 likes 0 comments 0

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“A Kind of Magic...” by Kendall Defoe

Submitted to Contest #281

Okay, this is really not my fault.I am now in a very different spot than I’m used to (buzz). And I really did not expect the screaming and the trip through the air like that (buzz buzz). So dark, too…But let me talk a little about myself and you might have a bit of sympathy about my plight.Buzz…Many years back (buzz), according to my manufacture date, I was put together in a factory in (buzz) a country that many of you read about online, and yet know so little about. It may seem strange that I can remember my (buzz) date of birth – such a st...

14 likes 10 comments 10

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“In July” by Rubekkah Estero

Submitted to Contest #281

‘Queensland is set for the coldest day of the year today, so pull out those jackets and coats…’ ‘Huh! Perfect timing,’ Dad says, rubbing his hands together with glee as I make my way down the stairs. ‘Georgie! You heard the weather man. Where’s your ugly Christmas sweater?’ I groan and loll my head back. ‘It might be the coldest day, Dad, but it’s still 26 bloody degrees out!’ Everything is relative, and in far north Queensland, cold is just another word for stinking hot. ‘No one should be wearing sweaters this ...

2 likes 1 comment 1

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“The Uninvited Guest” by Jennifer Burrell

Submitted to Contest #281

The city was buzzing with an extra festive flare. The freshly fallen snow on all the holiday decorations created a filter of soft, holiday cheer. People were rushing about doing their last-minute shopping as the calendar ticked down the days until Christmas. Parties full of merriment and cheer were spilling out onto stoops and balconies. It was a magical time to be in the city. Which is why no one realized when she walked into one of those parties. The days that followed that party, the guests will wrack their b...

3 likes 0 comments 0

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“Kaleidoscope Tree” by Heidi Fedore

Submitted to Contest #281

As they sat on the carpet, their eyes mirrored the sparkling, blinking white lights. The ornaments reflected their images across the globular surfaces, making their faces seem bigger than they were. Fisheye round, like a fun-house mirror. “I wouldn’t do it if I were you,” he said, shaking his head and arching a judgmental eyebrow. “I don’t recall asking for your opinion,” she said. “Might I remind you of last year?” “You might not,” she said, tilting her head in opposition. He shifted, blocking her view of the tree, and glared into her eyes....

4 likes 0 comments 0

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“White Elephant” by Levi Michael

Submitted to Contest #281

white elephant/,(h)wīd ‘elaf(ə)nt/ nounA possession that is useless or troublesome, especially one that is expensive to maintain or difficult to dispose of. They both stared down at the box, the snow scrolling uncannily to the ground as if in a vacuum, falling on the shallow drifts that glowed iridescently under a cloudless sky and full moon beyond the rails of the porch.  The box, a nearly perfect cube about the size of a big basketball, was neatly wrapped in red and gold and white paper, an ornate Damascus pattern. The lid independen...

2 likes 0 comments 0

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“Mail Order Bride” by Tom Mollica

Submitted to Contest #281

Tom Mollicatom@studiotommy.com 414-383-3886 Mail Order Bride Bob put a Hungry Harold Salisbury Steak dinner in the microwave and set the timer for three minutes. Ten seconds later, the doorbell rang. Bob sighed and hoped it wasn’t any of his friends showing up unexpectedly and interrupt his lunch. Opening the front door, a female ITS (International Trucking Service) delivery driver stood outside with a big box on a wheeled dolly. “I have a delivery for Bob Gronkle.” “I don’t remember ordering anything – especially something this big.” The d...

3 likes 0 comments 0

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“Santa’s Right-Hand Guy” by Ej Vizzard

Submitted to Contest #281

Ah, Christmas in Bavaria. For most folks here, it’s a time to lounge by the fire and watch snow gather on the mountains. For Santa and me, it’s the busiest day of the year. We tramp from house to house with our sacks, knocking on doors. He pulls gifts from his bag for the good kids; I stuff the naughty ones into mine. Their eyes widen the second they see my gnarled horns. By the time I bare my fangs, they’re usually bawling so hard I don’t need to show them my snakelike tongue—but I do anyway because it’s a howl. Then I jam them, beggin...

1 like 0 comments 0

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“Not So Bad After All” by Lyndall Ryan

Submitted to Contest #281

The sunlight’s rays glided through the window, radiating a comforting warmth on the windowsill. Reuben lifted one of his furry black and white rear legs. He pulled his head down and licked his balls. Well, where his balls had been, once upon a time. ‘I can’t believe humans! How would they like waking up suddenly minus their bits! The injustice of it. Not that I felt it all that much, at all really, but that’s hardly the point! Cat Rescue Centre, pffftt. Didn’t manage to rescue all of me, did they! No, they certainly did not! Glad to get the ...

4 likes 0 comments 0

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“The Regift” by David Mac Mahon

Submitted to Contest #281

Maybe this will be my year, maybe this Christmas someone will finally appreciate me. I’m a photo frame, but not just any old photo frame; I’m a silver-plated photo frame. I’ll have you know; I wasn’t cheap. I was displayed in a glass cabinet beside expensive jewellery in an upmarket store. You wouldn’t have found me in one of those bargain basements stores.  I’ve been regifted eight times but I’m still brand new, I’m still in my original packaging. Okay, there is a bit of a scuff on one of my corners but that’s just on my outer pac...

4 likes 1 comment 1

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“Jingle Brains” by Euan Brennan

Submitted to Contest #281

Trigger warning: gore and physical violence are used in a humorous way. Another warning: there are vampires vaping.I was a young boy... Once. Now I’m a young zombie. Proud, intelligent, and dead. Very dead. So dead I have managed to hit the reciprocal part of the universe and start life anew by being undead.So it goes.The Macabre Plant spewed its toxic fog into the clouds creating a mist of green and black vomit for a sky. It was a permanent state for Dead City. At least the birds loved it. Well, they didn't complain (and they always complai...

4 likes 0 comments 0

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“Dog” by Marcus Wells

Submitted to Contest #281

I’ve been sitting on the floor, just waiting for them to make a move… I raise my head and look longingly as they shift in their seat. Is this going to be the time they get up? I rest my head back down on my front legs, slowly closing my eyes to make sure I have the energy I need in just a few moments when they finally get up. I hear their voice as they stare into that rectangle thing, as well as another voice that I’ve never smelled before. I can’t believe they are taking so long… I hear their feet shifting, is this the moment? I raise my he...

2 likes 0 comments 0

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“Thumpety Thump-Thump” by Joshua G. J. Insole

Submitted to Contest #281

Leon, Timmy, and Spike ran down the road, throwing snowballs at each other, laughing and yelling.Davy Dennis sighed. It was easy to have a snowball fight when you had friends. It was only workable to do it solo if you loaded up an automatic ball launcher with ice and stood before it. It was also tricky to join in with a group of kids he didn’t know. Throwing a snowball at a buddy was funny. Throwing one at a stranger was assault. Besides, Davy had never been very good at approaching others, hence his predicament. Dad had told him to go outsi...

10 likes 6 comments 6

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“The Cat with a Bowler Hat ” by James King

Submitted to Contest #281

The idea of becoming a butler had appealed to me for some time. After all, I had the name for it—Jeeves—a fine and respectable moniker, even if I say so myself. My natural attire was perfectly suited to the role: a sleek black all-in-one suit complete with a white bib in the front. I practically looked the part already. Add to that the fact that I lived in a sprawling, posh English castle—and well, you could say I was born for the job. More than anything else, though, it was the allure of carrying a polished walking cane and wearing a smart ...

4 likes 1 comment 1

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“Ms. Elto the Christmas mouse” by Derrek Carman

Submitted to Contest #281

My name is Ms. Elto and this is the story of how I saved a family Christmas. It was the day of Christmas Eve. I went around and gathered the last of the cheese to give my kids. As I finished grabbing the cheese and other gifts I went towards the home I was living in. The house was well decorated. The humans that owned the house loved Christmas very much. They didn’t mind having mice live in the wall as long as we didn’t damage anything, make a mess, and help keep the bugs away. The humans would also leave little blocks of cheese for myself a...

2 likes 0 comments 0

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