Murray Burns

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Jan, 2022

Stories (67)

67 Stories

1910 karma pts

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“A Far, Far Better Thing...Really?” by Murray Burns

A Far, Far Better Thing…Really?                      “You should not honor men more than the truth." - PlatoCursed by a moment, plagued by an image, and torn between two loyalties, the torment persists. Friendship, love, conscience, and truth swirled around in my brain, engaged in a debilitating battle that could have no winner. Why must I s...

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“Old Biddy Gossip Garble” by Murray Burns

Old Biddy Gossip Garble (Some off-color humor.) Gladys: “Martha, how’s choir practice coming along? I hear the new Music Director that Rev. Barnes hired is quite charming.” Martha: “Yes, I guess, he’s pleasant enough.” Gladys: “And, if I can add, a handsome fellow.” Martha: “I guess, he’s ok.” Gladys: “What’s wrong? You don’t seem too pleased wit...

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“A Match Made in Heaven” by Murray Burns

A Match Made in HeavenHenry made ordinary people look extraordinary. He was as nondescript as they come- 33 years old, medium height, slightly overweight, thinning hair, 1 and ½ years of college, no accomplishments in the field of sports, the arts, or any other measurable aspect of human endeavor. He lived in a two-bedroom apartment with a high school buddy, drove a Ford Focus, managed a shift at a small auto parts distributor, watched a lot of TV, and had...

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“Bio” by Murray Burns

Bio(Trigger warning: Crude and likely offensive humor, suggestive of a sophomoric mind; think Beavis and Butthead…or worse; pre-apologies to all.)Doug- handsome, debonaire, confident, athletic, and charming; Wally- not so much.“I’m telling you, Wally, I think tonight will be your night.”“I don’t know, Dougie, I don’t feel comfortable in those situations. I never know what to say to a girl.”“That’s why you’ve got me, Wally. Let’s go.”-----...

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“Meh and Bleh” by Murray Burns

Meh and Bleh( Language) It was as certain as the sun rising in the east or old man Parker’s dog barking at the moon. Every first day of school for Mr. Livingston’s thirty-two years of teaching 6th Grade at Lincoln Elementary would begin the same way. The students stood at their desks, recited their names, and gave a brief description of their families, their pets, likes and dislikes, and any hobbies. He believed it was a beneficial exercise for both himself and all the students....

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“Woot” by Murray Burns

Woot “Miss Jenkins, could you please bring in the next candidate for the 10th Grade English teacher position?”“Please sit down, young man. And what is your name?”“Woot.”“What?”“No, Woot.”“What?”“No, not what. It’s Woot, sir.”“Miss Jenkins, can you help me out here?”“I think he’s trying to tell you his name is Woot, Mr. Carsons.”“What?”“No, not what, Mr. Carsons. I believe his name is Woot.”“Thank you, Mi...

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“Hercules Shrugged” by Murray Burns

Hercules Shrugged“Are you coming to church, Wally?”“Yes, I have a special intention.”“No, Wally, you can’t do that.”“Why not, Gladys? If you can pray for your beast of a sister to recover from her big toe surgery, I can ask for a little nudge to get Junior headed in the right direction in life.”“Wally, you can’t ask God to get your kid to play football. Besides, it’s his life. You have to let him do what he wants to do, allow him to pursue his dreams.”“Gla...

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“Psalm 23” by Murray Burns

Psalm 23“In three words I can sum up everything I know about life; it goes on.”-       Robert FrostLeaving the station“Dad! He’s been accepted!”“That’s great, honey. Uh, who…and accepted to what?”“Ryan’s been accepted at Madison!”This was good news. Ryan was Rachel’s good friend in high school, and knowing that she wo...

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“A Simple Act of Kindness” by Murray Burns

A Simple Act of Kindness“The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”-Amelia EarhartRule #1- Four downs to get the ball across the goal line (telephone pole); no first downs.Rule #2- Pass rusher must count three “Mississippies” before rushing the quarterback. (No cheating.)Rule #3- No catching the ball on a bounce off the side or roof of a ...

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“Gort Gets The Short End Of The Stick” by Murray Burns

Gort Gets The Short End Of The Stick(Crude humor) Ming: “I have another special assignment for you, Gort. It’s an important part of my plan to conquer the Universe. I pulled your name out of a hat, so you get the first shot at this great honor. It’s hardly brain surgery, so even you should be able to pull it off.”Great, lucky me.Ming: “But it could be dangerous. Are you willing to volunteer for the job?”Volunteer? The last time I didn’t volunteer for someth...

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“Battling the Windmills of the Mind” by Murray Burns

Battling the Windmills of the Mind"Remember me with smiles and laughter,For that is how I will remember you all.If you can only remember me with tears,Then don't remember me at all."-Laura Ingles WilderBad times weigh more than good times. They are more embedded in the mind than happy memories, especially if planted early in life. Happy writes in pencil; sad uses a Sharpie. Charlie will attest...

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“The Home Run” by Murray Burns

The Home Run                                                    “Regrets, I’ve had a few                   &n...

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“Henry Serves It Up Cold” by Murray Burns

Henry Serves It Up Cold(Perhaps a tad bit crude in places.) Courthouse clerks, robotic beings by instinct and training, are not necessarily known for their sense of humor.“Did you hear the one about the guy who wanted to change his name?”“I hear that all the time, sir. That’s what we do here.”“Yeah, but you gotta hear this one.”“Fine, but make it snappy.”“So, the judge asks the guy what his name is now. He says his name is Joe Shits...

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“The Seduction of Herb” by Murray Burns

The Seduction of Herb“So, what’s the catch?” Even the Party of the First Part was surprised at the quick response, the ease with which the words were spoken, void of any serious consideration of the required consequence. The implication of the message from the Party of the Second Part was that all prior elements were agreed to.     “There’s no catch, Herb. That’s the deal, straight up. You get everything I’ve pro...

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“The Green Mile” by Murray Burns

The Green Mile“Yet ah! Why should they know their Fate? Since Sorrow never comes too late,  And Happiness too swiftly flies.  Thought would destroy their Paradise.   No more; where Ignorance is Bliss,  ‘Tis Folly to be Wise."-Thomas Grey“We have a pretty good record for adoptions. Most will find homes.”“And for those who aren’t adopted, how long before you…”...

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Author bio

Dartmouth, then Law School followed by years in mind-numbing law practice; now have more time to write. "Brevity is the soul of wit."

Shortlisted 2 stories ⭐️

Contest #195
A Simple Act of Kindness – read story
Contest #170
The Rosary – read story