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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

150+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 4 of 10

Stalking-Feet Losers Do the Pan-damn-demic

Submitted to Contest #323

2,086 words Stalking-Feet Losers Do the Pan-damn-demic NOTE: Don’t shoot me. I’m just the messenger. I can’t undo it. Just don’t needle me. Things definitely got worse as they weirded out. After all, it was the day of the Covid, Deherald Krump thought. The ruddy, paunchy, middle-aged manager of a Moderna-vaccine production and distribution facility in Visalia, CA, Krump crumpled a little, imagining the toothbrush of the angel of death had already passed over him, decayed, while the villainous vaccine’s needle bent and misfired. He felt a...

8 likes 0 comments 0
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The Unfixable

Submitted to Contest #323

The UnfixableWow! Has it really been 25 years? Sandi wasn’t my first love, but I always thought she was my true love or not to be corny, my soul mate. Marriage was a foregone conclusion almost from the beginning. I thought we had the perfect relationship built on trust, respect and love until now. It all started at Jennifer’s birthday party 25 years ago. Rob had told me about his wife Jenny’s ‘hot’ friend’, but I had yet to meet her. I wasn’t sure I could trust Rob’s definition of hot. He preferred his woman tall, thin and feisty. He’d atten...

9 likes 4 comments 4
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Dear Diary: My Summer in Chaos (Thanks Love Rituals)

Submitted to Contest #323

Monday, 1st JuneDear Diary,What a chaotic weekend. I met Alice after three months of Facebook messaging. Bumped into her in Waterloo, recognised her straight away. She didn't recognise me, mistook my pleased-to-meet-you hug for a sex attack and pepper sprayed me in the eyes. She was very apologetic after I stopped screaming and managed to explain who I was. She even gave me a lift to the local A&E where they washed my eyes out and gave me oxygen to help with my irritated lungs.Took a leap of faith and asked her on a date. Admittedly she ...

7 likes 4 comments 4
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Papercut

Submitted to Contest #323

It’s no laughing matter. What starts with a papercut ends with the corruption of the soul. Haven’t you seen Papercut III? Poor Teddy from the second movie ends up possessed. And here we are in the remake of Papercut VI and look who has a papercut. What’s so confusing? Papercut is the name of the movie, the name of the killer, and the name of what the killer does to you. You wouldn’t think you could die from a papercut, but in the fourth movie they revealed that he’s supernatural, so his papercuts are fatal. Don’t you know anything about the ...

9 likes 5 comments 5
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Death Becomes Work

Submitted to Contest #322

There were 3 things Olive was 90% sure about: She should’ve grabbed a muffin on her way out (her rumbling stomach wasn’t exactly inconspicuous)The guy three seats over was hiding a pigeon in his overcoat (there was distinct cooing)No one was looking for her…yetOlive kept one eye on the pigeon guy and the other on the news app on her phone. “Florida man dons chicken suit before crashing four-wheeler into Starbucks, A woman in Mississippi shoots husband, then goes grocery shopping. 'Ok, nothing out of the ordinary', Olive thought, everything s...

11 likes 3 comments 3
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The Knight of Turnips and Weeds

Submitted to Contest #322

I’m getting too old to be a squire. Thought Tommus as he swung the saddle over his knight’s steed. Sir Pony, the old warhorse who spent his entire life eating carrots and apples far from any war-torn battlefield, shook with annoyance. “There, there. Plenty of apples and carrots await you. Just one more match. And it’ll probably end quickly. That our knight has made it this far is nothing short of a miracle. Perhaps we’ve earned the gods’ favor, or they just have sick sense of humor. Either way, just one more match and we’re done.” Tommus ...

4 likes 2 comments 2
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Stop Winking at Me

Submitted to Contest #322

Alora and Bob want me to volunteer, although for entirely different reasons. Heck, even Grinfo and Freena think it's a fantastic idea. Why am I the only sane person around here? Everyone knows it's a bad idea to volunteer to be a sacrifice. Alora believes it's the only way for us to obtain the dylanium inside the Ladder God's stormy abode. And I agree we need it. We're not flying off this rock without dylanium. My dispute is whether this is the only way. Bob believes I'm a god because I can say Bob - it's a long story. Anyway, he thinks I wo...

28 likes 16 comments 16
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Don't Stop Believin'

Submitted to Contest #323

It began with a small, deceptively simple gesture: I shook my head.Todd, karaoke host and self-appointed despot of the Rusty Lantern Bar, extended the microphone like it was the Holy Grail. “Your song,” he said. Not a song. The song. My song. The one that had become law, legend, and the unofficial national anthem of Tuesday nights: Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’.I said, “Not tonight.”Clocks stopped. The patrons of the Rusty Lantern froze, their drinks paused uncertainly between tabletops and lips. A dart froze in mid-flight, trembling. Todd ...

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The 9am

Submitted to Contest #322

8:52am His knuckles turn white as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “For fuck’s sake.” It’s bumper to bumper and he hasn’t moved in three minutes. Reaching for the file on the passenger seat, he goes over the details again. This could be a huge account for him. A huge commission. A horn blasts from behind. “Shit!” He jumps, flicking the file aside and launches up the ramp a further five metres or so. The top level is now in view, but it’s not looking promising. He taps a rhythm onto his thighs and stretches his neck to see if the c...

13 likes 4 comments 4
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Reality Artisans

Submitted to Contest #322

A tall, androgynous being wrapped in flowing garments of mercurial fabric appears on screens and brain implant interfaces across the galaxy. Their face is concealed in mirrored crystal, only their yellow glowing eyes shine out from slits in the mask. Their voice is magnified through microscopic smart dust particles in the air. “Welcome honored guests to season 6 of Voice Between Worlds. I am your host, Zephryial Vox. As you know, the once-in-a-century meeting of the greatest minds in the Milky Way galaxy, the Ecliptic Convocation, is fast a...

19 likes 2 comments 2
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The Archivist's Adventures: 'Three Witches Walk Into a Bakery'

Submitted to Contest #323

Dearest Estella,I have received most gracious words from companions in the capital! His Majesty has allowed The Annual Larkspur Baking Festival to continue after this harvest. Perhaps you remember from your studies, Larkspur is home to a host of notorious witches. There is much to be learned and much more to be tasted. These women have cultivated one of the strongest coven-cities on the continent—and they rely heavily on tourism to thrive. The festival draws artisans from every province. Pies that predict weather, breads that remember the ha...

6 likes 0 comments 0
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Viola

Submitted to Contest #322

VIOLA She has been lying in the labour ward for a full day, but still baby refuses to move.‘Wretched child is determined to spite me ‘she mutters under her breath.For the umpteenth time the nurse peeps round the curtain: ‘Doctor is here, he is going to induce you to hurry it up, we need this bed for the next patient’ spoken with a grimace.‘Good evening’ His greeting is abrupt. Grace is holding up his carefully planned schedule. In two tics he sets up the drip and both leave without a word to the reluctant mother.*Footsteps arrive in the pass...

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SpellFixers-All your spell fixing needs

Submitted to Contest #322

“You’re late for work again, Whitney” my manager chirped at me, while perched on the end of my cubicle. His black feathers slightly ruffled. I swear, crows can nail the angry bird look far better than the other shapeshifters around the office.“I know, Blake, I already got a snide look from everyone else on my way over here, so you can save your reprimand for someone else.” It wasn’t just looks I had received on my way to my desk. I even heard Hester mumble something under her breath. I’ve never heard a bird be able to nail a heavy sigh, but ...

14 likes 1 comment 1
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Achieving Great Heights

Submitted to Contest #322

Prompt: Write a story inspired by the phrase, “A person’s worth is no greater than one’s ambitions.” (M. Aurelius) Achieving Great Heights I loved climbing trees when I was the ripe old age of six.My mom was aghast by the heights I would ascend especially when the limbs seemed flimsy at best. Nonetheless, I continued my ascent into the skies through various trees. My dad, on the other hand, saw an opportunity to use my skills to his advantage. He said to my mom climbing was in my blood. Privately, he detested getting any higher than grou...

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A Measure of Success

Submitted to Contest #322

There was a soft ding overhead and the fasten seat belt sign came on as we began our descent into Ft. Myers airport. The flight from Cleveland had been mostly uneventful. Take off was a little rough as we left in the middle of a snowstorm. And there was some turbulence along the way as we passed over the mountains in Georgia. But the flight was “relatively crash free” as my father used to say. He thought he was funny. From my window seat the view outside was a stark contrast from the cold and snowy world we left 2 ½ hours ago. Cleveland ...

2 likes 0 comments 0
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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