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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

9090+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 2 of 606

The Silver Knot

Submitted to Contest #307

Someone held my hand, and suddenly, I felt the prick in my finger. I never liked the way the cold metal found its way inside my skin. I'd fainted, vomited, and cried way too many times in my life during blood tests to know what was about to happen next, and it wasn't pretty. I stumbled and grabbed someone on my way down while the needle kept dangling during my fall. I heard the cries of a couple of people around me, someone yelling, "Grab her!" and then, there was nothing. I was out for a couple of minutes — that's what someone told me later...

17 likes 8 comments 8
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A Secret Society Until

Submitted to Contest #307

A Society Kept Secret Until It was early Friday evening. One by one a group of older men, all seniors in their late sixties to early eighties, climbed up the outdoor stairs to the second floor of a building that housed the business of one of their senior members (senior in length of time of involvement, not in being older than most others). It had been his idea to meet there, and so far it had been a secrecy success. Each man carried with him a bag filled with something . They were very careful in their handling of it so that it wo...

3 likes 0 comments 0
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The Orc Who Feared Thursdays

Submitted to Contest #307

Three centuries old and mossier than a wizard’s forgotten shower loofah, Mossbottom Avenue still managed to judge Skarnel harder than his last three therapists combined. Not that that said much about the road—rather more about Skarnel himself, who was afraid of just about anything that moved, twitched, or dared something so horrifyingly presumptuous as breathing.Skarnel readjusted his N95 Hex-Filter facemask for the umptillionth time. This was a rather challenging endeavour for two primary reasons. The first was that his face shield made eve...

24 likes 17 comments 17
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Secret Society of Paranormal Spouses

Submitted to Contest #307

George checked the address on the letter again. We know the truth about your wife and want to meet you. Come to 1897 Harker Lane on Sunday at 7pm. Don't be late or you'll miss the fun. "'Fun'," he spat as, not for the first time, he wanted to rip the letter to shreds, along with whoever had dared to write it, but he couldn't, not with his wife's secret hanging in the balance. I can't risk the world finding out that vampires are not only real, but that Victoria is one of them. Even if they don't drive a stake into her heart she'll never know...

1 like 0 comments 0
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The Epiphany Provoker

Submitted to Contest #307

“I want you to do this for me, Little Plump Jo. I want you to set me free from the Fog Lake, as you did for Elaine of Astolat!”Sir Lancelot du Lac’s dark eyes were filled with hope and misplaced confidence.Little Plump Jo had not actually done anything to free Elaine of Astolat from the Fog Lake. In fact, Elaine had not even vacated the Fog Lake. However, Elaine was now free from the eternal re-enactment of the tragic role of Elaine the Fair, Elaine the Lovely, The Lily Maid of Astolat. But unless you were to include ‘masterly inactivity’ as...

10 likes 5 comments 5
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The Way of the Waffle

Submitted to Contest #307

You ever wonder why you never used a Waffle house bathroom? Oh sure, you say, “I’ve used one, don't be ridiculous, and stop following me back to my table,” Sorry, I just have to tell you, that you’re wrong. Sure, you definitely have gone into the bathrooms at a Waffle house, you brave soul. But have you ever thought about what it looked like inside? Go ahead, tell me now. Are the walls yellow? No not that yellow, I mean painted yellow. Like the sign- did you know the walls in a Waffle House bathroom are yellow with accents of white and black...

1 like 0 comments 0
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Haunting Lessons

Submitted to Contest #307

“Where am I?” I asked as the door closed, and I stood in complete darkness.Silence.“Is anybody here?” I could feel the panic surge through me like an electrical current. My eyes might as well be closed as the absence of light made me feel totally blinded.What was I doing before I came here? How did I get here? Why am I here?“Welcome.” A voice sounded from the darkness.“Who are you?” I panted, “Show yourself.” “We have a few questions for you.” The voice sounded demanding.“Not until I know where I am.” I definitely snapped. Laughter, deep a...

8 likes 4 comments 4
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The Amazing Super Nova

Submitted to Contest #307

It was almost the end of the school year, so it was to be expected the Masters of Mayhem would finally come around to bully Ames and his friends. On the good basketball court with Reid, Hudson, and Gideon, hundreds of kids swirled around them during the lunch recess, shouts, feet and balls bounced off the blacktop, walls and each other like so many spinning tops let loose onto the elementary playground. Ames dribbled twice, smooth and easy before leaping up to launch the ball toward the hoop. Bouncing just like his loose brown curly hair, th...

18 likes 18 comments 18
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Home, Bath & Body

Submitted to Contest #306

Mariella Wilson Soy Wax Candle, Original Fragrance: Like a warm hug with a soft 80s soundtrack. All banana bread and suburban chic while driving the teen to swim practice. With subtle notes of a high school sweetheart main squeeze and summer vacations in Cabo, this neon pink Dodge Caravan has kept on rollin' since 1973. Mariella Wilson Soy Wax Candle, Quiet Desperation: For when you realize your teenage son would rather Jennifer from down the street drive him to swim practice. And your best friend Sasha announces at brunch that she's moving ...

5 likes 3 comments 3
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H’art of the deal

Submitted to Contest #306

“H’art of the deal” DANTE’S FURNACE-FINAL NOTICE TO APPEAR TO: Mr. Thomas Torrence Talisman Esq.FROM: Saint Peter Esq., Office of Admissions, Pearly Gates box 1, Heaven Inc. Dear Sir, it has come to my attention that you have chosen to challenge the courts decision pertaining to your recent application for eternal residency. Whereas your application was submitted and reviewed immediately upon your death, it was determined that you failed to meet our minimum admissions requirements as per the judgement day act. I refer you to the applica...

3 likes 1 comment 1
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Who's Mad

Submitted to Contest #306

Whos’ Mad A farce in four acts.Written by: Arthur P. Bottomly. The Players Desmond Allwright – Dr Marcus FrenzyAllison Fawlty – Nurse Rosemary SaverLeonard Charleston – Malcolm Ashely DavidsonRaymond Pongrass – Master Of Ceremonies Act 1Scene 1 A mental health ward of the Bellevue Hospital New York. A man in a straightjacket lays comatosed on a trolly, eyes wide open, seeing and hearing nothing.Malcolm Ashly Davidsons, or mad as he was known, had been re-admitted that morning to the hospitals mental health ward, after being released two day...

2 likes 0 comments 0
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Crushed teenager on a bed of tears with white wine reduction and chocolate swirl.

Submitted to Contest #306

Crushed teenager on a bed of tears with white wine reduction and chocolate swirl. Ingredients:Mixture of vinylMelange of hair and beauty productsA la carte of black outfitsMise en place of makeup and brushesMedley of Jewellery5 inch Winklepicker stilettosAssortment of alcoholic beverages1 packet of 10 Embassy number 1 Julienne of Swan Vesta 25 squirts of Anais Anais Method:1) Heat crimping irons to 230 degrees.2) Turn on Amstrad HiFi system, place 12 inch version of Transvision Vamp’s ‘Baby I Don’t Care,’ on turntable. With steady hand, appl...

3 likes 1 comment 1
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The Frogs we Kiss to Cook for You

Submitted to Contest #306

BigGuyDick: Hi babe, digging ya profile, send me a titty pic?FionaC: Wow, FenGirl, you. are. beautiful. If ever you fancy changing teams let me know xxBigGuyDick: Babe??? Nip nips???Caniches@4: Bonjour belle dame, aimez-vous les caniches? J’en ai quatre. J’adore les caniches.MrBrianFJones: Dear FenGirl, if I am correct (which, due to my high IQ I usually am) then I do believe your third photograph was taken on the Isle of Wight. I am so confident of this that I am willing to place a bet on it. I do have a small gambling addiction but sincere...

10 likes 2 comments 2
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How to Bake Sourdough Bread and Alienate Everyone You Know

Shortlisted for Contest #306 ⭐️

Are you stressed out? Strapped for time? About three to five minor inconveniences away from total burnout?Now is the perfect time for you to start baking sourdough bread.Maybe you’re short-staffed at work, you’re house-training a new puppy, or one of the kids has the stomach bug and your washing machine smells vaguely of cheese curds. It could be any combination of internal or external life stressors that has convinced you that you are now the kind of person who bakes from-scratch, gut-friendly, personality-transforming sourdough bread.If th...

27 likes 44 comments 44
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Re: Bird on Road

Submitted to Contest #306

To avoid any confusion to non-Brits, I shall warn you all that this story uses the British day-first date format, as this is where the story unfolds. Rachel Lord rach64lord@memail.com 03/01/2025 12:01to: aandpvetpractice@vets.org.ukHello,I hope you’re doing well in these strange times. I’d like some advice regarding a bird I’ve found on the road, very injured, but I believe not beyond help. I’m afraid I can’t tell you what sort of bird, as I cannot find it in my identifying guide, and the people of Reddit are yet to respond. His (I ...

15 likes 3 comments 3
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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