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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8960+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 536 of 598

Gluten

Submitted to Contest #59

Amy started fourth grade at a new school six weeks ago, and she has yet to tell anybody about her deathly gluten allergy. Every single birthday, which seems to be literally every day at this school--do Catholic kids have birthdays every day? Is that a Jesus thing?--she kept her lips sealed. Every single day, it seemed, she was being offered a birthday cupcake that Jennica or Kyler or whoever brought a treat for the entire class. Someone’s mom probably worked really hard on those cupcakes, and Amy didn’t want them to hear that they almost kil...

15 likes 8 comments 8
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My Moustache Is Bigger!

Submitted to Contest #59

“Hello, how’re you doing today?” The cheery woman in the office mused. Her bright copper name tag shone “Tanya”. It was a quarter to 12; Roberto was right on time. “Hi, my name is Roberto Arevalo. I’m here to have lunch with my daughter and her classmates,” he said, timidly. It was his daughter’s first month of Kindergarten. She had been begging him to come sit with her at lunch since she knew it was allowed. Roberto was new to all the processes and rules of Huntington Elementary School and had missed the open invitation for lunch at meet-th...

8 likes 0 comments 0
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Reconsidering The Merits Of Incontinence From The Front Row Of The Shit Show

Submitted to Contest #59

I can hear Valentina in the other room, laughing hysterically. I shudder to think what sort of depravity might be exciting her humors. Since the first day that we arrived in this shady, meth-infested trailer park, she has found constant amusement in the misbehavior of the community's most excessive characters.Yesterday I found her doubled over in hysterics, and when I looked out the window, the couple from across the street were engaged in physical battle on the hood of our car. I ran out screaming at the emaciated warriors, who only had a f...

27 likes 4 comments 4
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Blood and Water

Submitted to Contest #59

March 21st Dear Diary, Dear God, what the hell am I doing? I’ve never written in one of these things before, I have no idea what to even say. Well, I suppose I better write something, otherwise Mary might get suspicious. Mary is my wife – I don’t know why I’m saying that, after all this book is meant to be for my eyes and my eyes alone. I guess it just feels better to write it down, since recently she hasn’t seemed like my wife, not the same fun-loving laid-back girl I met at seventeen in the slightest. No, she’s too obsessed with the cult. ...

8 likes 1 comment 1
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One of those Small Towns

Submitted to Contest #59

It was one of those small towns in which sons regularly became just like their fathers, grandfathers and so on. And daughters became their mothers, grandmothers and so on down the line. And if you couldn’t point to the stone memorializing one of your ancestors, in one of the three town cemeteries—Methodist, Anglican and Catholic, or point at a decades-old two storey office building and say, “That is where the old bowling alley used to be.” or nod your head in knowledgeable agreement to does make the point, then you did not really b...

18 likes 0 comments 0
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A snoopy town

Submitted to Contest #59

                           Ann and Zach had just moved into a small town. Both of them, young upwardly mobile professionals, had to take this relocation in its stride. They could not get better jobs elsewhere. It seemed to be a little town set amid nowhere and they felt they can make friends and live there at least for a few years before they move on.          &nb...

12 likes 4 comments 4
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Somewhere/Nowhere.

Submitted to Contest #59

  Anne raced down the ramp and onto the train platform, just as the driver blew the whistle. She dived in through the train door as it automatically shut, with seconds to spare. Anne stood there for a few minutes to catch her breath, and waited for her heart to stop thumping. She opened the door to the carriage with her ticket in her hand, and made her way to seat number 13. Anne’s cousin had rang a few days earlier telling her they had moved into a lovely little cottage in a sweet little town called Nowhere. Her cousin Wendy was marr...

17 likes 4 comments 4
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Laraville

Submitted to Contest #59

My sciatica was acting up as I shuffled with my walker into the meeting room. I grimaced, glanced around, and saw everyone filing in the large hand-hewn building that sat squarely in the middle of Laraville, filled with musty air and stale people.  “Dale forgot the air freshener again, I see,” I muttered. I rummaged in my pockets and found a tin of breath mints. I took one out, crushed it between my fingers, and rubbed the powder on the inside of my nostrils. It stung a bit, and there was a chance I looked like a drug addict, but ther...

9 likes 2 comments 2
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Flushed Away: Rhyming Review of The Film

Submitted to Contest #59

Hugh Jackman plays as lots of things A  sad singing Frenchman A master of circus rings A steadfast cowboy A Wolverine But the thing most do not know Is that he was carried away with the flow The flush of a toilet took him away As a rat, he learned To see a new way.   His name was Roddy And he was well off To the slobby intruder Sid He said, “Goodbye! Mazel tov!”  But Sid would not leave He liked the rich house He was a stubborn guy An unwanted louse. Roddy had an idea  To get that dude away But it came back to bite h...

65 likes 24 comments 24
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All in the Sword Part 2

Submitted to Contest #59

Author's note: This story is a continuation of All in the Sword. You might want to read that first before reading this part... Grayson stops scratching with his quill, thinking about what he saw. If he was right, he needed to contact someone. “‘Lady Ella! I need to ask you something,’” Grayson mutters. “No, that wouldn’t work, um, ‘Excuse me, may I ask you something in private?’ No, not that either.” He paces around his room, pondering. “Excuse me, Sir Grayson?” a voice calls out, making Grayson jump out of his skin. “Um, yes?” “Lady Ella ...

45 likes 8 comments 8
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Suspicious Minds

Submitted to Contest #59

At 7:10 AM, Mr. Gasvoda leered through the kitchen window, one eye peeking out from behind the lime green curtains Mrs. Gasvoda purchased at Merle Davis’s yard sale last year. Across the street from Mr. and Mrs. Gasvoda’s home, a craftsman house with forest green trim and jade green panels, stood the new neighbor with one hand on his hip, and the other clasping a mug with something steaming in it. The new neighbor idly stood by, supervising the installation of a brand new, pristine white, steel-skinned, sixteen-foot garage door; complete wit...

11 likes 0 comments 0
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The Rose neighbour hood

Submitted to Contest #59

It was 7:35 am a moving truck rolled into the drive next door. The phone lines must have been sizzling with the amount of calls the neighbourhood was making we got a total of :180 call ourselves from some of the local gossipers. I love my neighbour hood I really do but 180 phone calls in half an hour is a bit excessive, I already dread going to walk my dog (Rory) at lunch time the news will have spread around like wild fire by then and loads of rumours about the people will accompany that roaring blaze, but for now sleep would be good. I...

7 likes 0 comments 0
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Sternutation

Submitted to Contest #59

Andrea had joked about it for years, every time the pollen or mold or dust appeared and the plants did anything besides just sit there and be green. Popping antihistamines like M&Ms, to the point where she could take a benedryl at 6 am and go all day without nodding off and a myriad of various prescription drugs as soon as they hit the market kept her functional, but only barely. When asked, she said she only had two sinus infections a year; they just lasted five months each. When she would have a sneezing fit walking from her car to the...

8 likes 1 comment 1
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New Groove

Submitted to Contest #59

“I did it! We’re all booked and ready to go. I am so excited Steve.” Nan clasped her hands together and looked dreamily into space. “I’m sure you are. I probably would be too if I knew what the hell you were talking about.” Steve slapped the newspaper close and threw it on the kitchen table. “What the hell have you gotten us into now woman?” Steve was sitting at the head of the table in the dining room of the cozy cottage that they shared doing what he loved to do best- read his morning paper and enjoy a nice hearty breakfast. Nan was movi...

17 likes 3 comments 3
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Mad dog

Submitted to Contest #59

"That dude's fucking crazy, dog…""I know, did you see the way he flipped that desk? I thought Jimmy was a goner. He shouldn't been talking shit… ""Haha, yeah, that motherfucker's strong as fuck. He works out at my gym.""No way… Teacher lifts, bro?""I'm telling you this guy's something else." He puffed, puffed then passed it. "One time, dude was working out minding his business when Rico, the ugliest meatbag you ever saw steps up to him and demands his weights. My man was eyeballing this cunt like it was nothing; screaming in his face and shi...

45 likes 23 comments 23
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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