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Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8960+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 529 of 598

DYI Zombie Killer!

Submitted to Contest #60

(Write a post-apocalyptic story that features zombies.)Today the headline read, “Social Media is full of unsubstantiated reports of Zombie sightings! The news has gone viral and soft focus blurry videos have flooded all platforms!”Wowser! Do I need to worry?Today I discovered that I am unique among my modern generation in that I have no idea what a “Zombie” really is. I had a vague thought that any mindless creature might be a zombie but then I went to do some research.Wow, what an eye opener when I googled zombies! I had...

28 likes 14 comments 14
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The Cockroach and the Crumb

Submitted to Contest #60

Roach scuttled along the street, sidestepping the chunks of broken buildings and shattered glass. The pads on the bottom of his six spiny legs could have easily helped him climb the debris, but he barely had the energy to even hold his antennae up after a long day spent hunting.A long, futile day. Just more decaying bodies and dead wood, a few bits of cardboard here and there. They weren’t terrible snacks, but Roach longed for the days he scratched through the kitchen walls, stealing bits of cheese off the table. Once, he even had the pleasu...

35 likes 20 comments 20
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Misty Morgan’s Guide to Happiness in a Post-Apocalyptic World

Submitted to Contest #60

For those of you who are a little fuzzy on your history, let’s review. There are some who insist that the Apocalypse began with the war with China, and while this is mostly true, the real cause is far more mundane. According to my extensive research, it actually began with the demise of the humble honeybee. The loss of the honeybee, a totally preventable occurrence according to my sources, devastated the world’s food supply. For example, do any of you even know what an apple is? Or a kumquat? Let alone what one tastes like? I think not. T...

7 likes 0 comments 0
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Z-Threats and Cardio Sweats

Submitted to Contest #60

Aiden opened his eyelids slowly, willing it to have been a dream, a drawn-out, dreadful, dream. His pupils shrank, adjusted, and took in the three sleeping figures. He heard the whirring of treadmills around them. Nope, this was still the apocalypse. He groaned in frustration, pounding the exercise mat beneath him. Bailey rolled to face him, “You know, mornings will get a lot easier once you just accept that we are living in a world full of flesh-eating zombies.” He flinched at the word zombies. “Oh, sorry, um, flesh-eating Z-words,” Bai...

8 likes 0 comments 0
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Just Another Day

Submitted to Contest #60

She looked over at him and gave a silent look of reproach. He saw the look; he always saw the look. He asked her “What?”   And she told him, “you’re a little too close to the line. You always park a little too close to the line.” “You’re kidding me, right?” He said to her; at which point she simply opened her door and pointed to the painted line that delineated the edge of that particular parking spot. “If you’re going to do something you may as well do it right”. This was something she would often offe...

18 likes 11 comments 11
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A short in joint

Submitted to Contest #60

He was born on August, 56 years ago.when he was young, His education stopped at year two in secondary school. He joined retail business on his own after about three years of hustling, Looking for customers for other trades and taking commissions. Initially, lt looked as if he was making it but his show off life style wasnt helping his saving. He was living way off above his income. He was ladies man, training some girls in school with hope of future marriage. When his money finished, he was told by some of the girls he was catering for ...

16 likes 1 comment 1
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Something about Mary

Submitted to Contest #60

Legend has it when the first generation virus swept across the planet the world’s most powerful leader, as the story goes, was a great American president. The greatest. It’s said that he single handedly built a wall around his country to protect his people, laying every brick himself with his own bare hands, with only the help of a few thousand migrant workers to carry the bricks and mix the mortar. It’s said, he promised all his fellow countries (except China) that his scientists, who were the best in the world, by far, would eradicate this...

18 likes 8 comments 8
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THE WHOLE WORLD IS INSANE (EXCEPT FOR ME)

Submitted to Contest #60

"It's almost like the whole world is insane," he said while sitting on my couch, cracking open another beer. “Tell me about it,” I replied. I lifted the beer can above me while standing in the center of my one-bedroom apartment that was about five blocks from the beach in Da Nang, Vietnam. I threw the empty can to the floor. It made a noise that probably annoyed my neighbors. But I didn’t care. “Do you want another one?” I asked my friend as I casually walked over to the fridge. I was barefoot and shirtless. I liked living my life like that...

12 likes 4 comments 4
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Luau

Submitted to Contest #60

Greg glanced around at the guests laughing and talking. The party was going pretty well considering the circumstances. Was an apocalyptic wasteland the best place for a luau? Maybe not, but they were making it work. Besides, it looked like everyone was having fun. An old radio crackled on one of the tables. Only the faintest traces of music could be heard on it, probably the last radio station in existence. Still, everyone was dancing as if the music was blaring. They’d all managed to make mock Hawaiian shirts by rubbing some old clothes wi...

16 likes 2 comments 2
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The Rise of the New Era

Submitted to Contest #60

Thud. Thud. Thud. You hear as the Botulinum toxic drops like fresh dew drops by leaves. Only difference is that the drops are deadly to humans, if they even existed, and the plants are long gone.  There is no trace of life here. Now, there is no atmosphere you can spot in Earth, it is called GBGP 3000. That is the short form of the real name garbage planet and life ended here in the year 3000. The last scientist named the planet like that, before dying, those were his last words. Fortunately, he was al...

45 likes 3 comments 3
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Sentient Zom

Submitted to Contest #60

Long before the Zombie Cataclysm wreaked its havoc on the world, there were living humans all over the Southern California coastline. Now, instead of surgically augmented girls trying to get an even tan, or blonde, bronze, surfer boys looking for that perfect wave... You got Zoms aimlessly wandering the sand and surf searching for a delectable human on which to gorge. And on a 400 foot yacht, once owned by a rich social influencer, called: The Magnus Opioid, two New Zoms fished a body out of the water off the side of the boat on which they...

16 likes 3 comments 3
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Pandemic Yearning

Submitted to Contest #60

 “It’s funny”. He spoke through a rictus grin. “I don’t remember you being this angry”. “Angry”? She said sarcastically. ”Why would I be angry”? “I don’t know. Especially as, if I remember correctly, you were the one who made all the decisions”. “Decisions?” Zack leaned a little closer to her.”Not to meet me? Not to even discuss what we had promised to discuss?” Hey! Sandra, what happened? Sexy feet…! Sandra murmured. Huh what, Sandra? ‘I said 60 feet social distance, Sandra asserted. Zack laughed aloud, ’oh no!It’s ju...

14 likes 1 comment 1
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The Boy With Beautiful Blue Eyes

Submitted to Contest #60

"Eliza, wake up darling, it's time for school." I open my eyes and yawn, stretching my limbs. I slowly get up and get ready, then head for the kitchen where my parents are. Both of their faces light up as I enter the room, and I smile back. "Here's your lunch money." My dad says, winking at me. No doubt he snuck some extra money in there without my mom's knowledge. I smile and hug him tight, then put the money safely in my wallet. I hug my mom next, breathing in her floral scent. She kisses my cheek before letting me go. "I love y'all!" I ...

12 likes 0 comments 0
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Cosmic Latte

Submitted to Contest #60

The color of the universe and the walls of my house match almost perfectly. I don’t know how to feel about this. Should it make me feel more secure because in some meta way I am out in the universe even when I am at home alone, safe on my couch while I sip from oversized coffee mugs, watching the clouds roll by like massive white poodles out my window? Or should I be concerned that the universe is so dreadfully blah, instead of some raging orange or deep thoughts purple? I don’t know, but I think about it a lot anyway. I think about it as I ...

88 likes 53 comments 53
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The New Deal, But Wrong

Submitted to Contest #60

           Adults weren’t lying when they scoffed at the youth for not knowing how to use rotary phones. Mish thought rotary phones were like VHS tapes and individual slide projectors: nostalgic items for her parents and teachers. Yet here she was, in an actual government office, trying to figure out how to dial a rotary phone as two very tall suited men stood intimidatingly over her desk and requested to speak to the person in charge of tax returns.      &n...

49 likes 13 comments 13
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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