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Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8960+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 515 of 598

What Was I Saying Again? (Part 1)

Submitted to Contest #62

 “S is for stalker,” Ken told the kindergarteners. “S. T. A. L. K. E. R. For example, I need to leave here soon, because I have a stalker I’ve been avoiding and they’re going to show up in…” Ken closed his eyes, letting visions of possible futures sweep over him. He plucked the worst, but most lucky, one from the river like it was a mutant fish and he was starving. Ugly, but necessary for survival. His stomach growled. On second thought, he's hungry. When was the last time he ate? His brain refused to answer. Ever since he got this ‘gif...

30 likes 3 comments 3
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Time Capsule

Submitted to Contest #62

Again I was rejected by yet another girl. Sitting all alone in my living room with my only friend, who never leaves me, six packs, I turned TV on. I haven’t watched it for some time, since last night. Drinking beer I was changing channels, thinking either I was crazy, can’t hold on any girl or job or everybody else is. Solving this equation requires another beer, or better two. One silly announcement pulls me out of my futile thoughts – for 19.99 Euros everyone is eligible for time capsule draw. Who in their right mind would fall for such ch...

9 likes 3 comments 3
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Homicidal Housewives are Overrated

Submitted to Contest #62

“You’re gonna get into a car accident by 19.” Yeah, right.  So here I am, sitting my ass on my parent’s old Fuschia colored couch without a single friend or even a driver’s license. That wrinkly elderberry-smelling “Oracle” lady can suck my toes!  I lift and drop my hands with a huff, the worn cushions around me make a phuff noise and sink under the weight of my arms. There’s only so much Criminal Minds, Forensic Files, and Cold Cases one can stomach in a day and I've been sitting here for 30 hours of the last two days. Who knew ...

9 likes 0 comments 0
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For Posterity

Submitted to Contest #62

The sweet, coppery tang of blood hit my tongue as I gazed up at my aggressor. A brown leather eyepatch covered one eye but the other was just lovely: verdant green like the Welsh hills. Hair the color of ginger ale framed her face beautifully; a face with the most agreeable smattering of freckles. Her mouth was a shiny oyster: slick and wet in the moonlight. Her nose was that of a Pre-Raphaelite painting: long and slender with flared nostrils. When she exhaled, I half-expected to see steam spit out of her, as though she were driven by a coal...

31 likes 10 comments 10
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Pepper,Suspension And A Whole Lotta Time Capsules.

Submitted to Contest #62

October 5th“Suspension, detention, expulsion for you, Mrs. Briano,” Principal Weslp grunted.“Is this a grammar lesson? ‘Cause it’s a lot of ion’s,” I replied with a smirk.“Pepper, Remembrance of The Past Day was supposed to be fun. Why d'you put such a thing in that capsule?”I eased back in my chair. I didn’t see any necessary problems here, to be honest.“I guessed it would make everyone chortle. You need to laugh some calories and burn some weight.” I laughed inside my head, while Principal Weslp’s face turned bright red. He pointed out the...

16 likes 3 comments 3
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The Planetary Trick

Submitted to Contest #62

I am Ralph Sastri, a thirty year old young man. Presently working in the ‘ land of opportunity ‘ the great America’. I was born in a little village in one of the Indian states. My folks believe in providence , superstition and astrological predictions .  I was the pampered child in the family who had the good fortune of being born after a half a dozen girls or let’s say my cousins born to my uncle. My father was proud to carry forward the family lineage . The joy of my grand parents had no bounds. It seemed m...

14 likes 2 comments 2
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"Memories"

Submitted to Contest #62

10 years ago I had woken up from surgery after I got my appendix removed with no memory of who I was or where I was. The only thing I seemed to “remember” was an unknown woman who had curly ginger hair smiling at me. I couldn’t make out the setting whenever I thought about it but as my life progressed, so did my “memories”. I went to a thrift store and saw a wedding dress and I saw the same women all dolled up with the same dazzling smile on her face as the first memory. Same white dress, same matching veil and a mixed bouquet of white and l...

16 likes 3 comments 3
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The Face Curse

Submitted to Contest #62

“BRIIIING”!!! Wow! I just had the craziest dream. I aim to hit the green colored alarm clock in frustration. Nope, not the alarm clock. My metal water bottle falls to the carpet floor with a hard thud. I don’t know what gave me a harder headache, the constant blaring of the alarm clock, or the fact that ice cold water just spilled all over my Gucci sandals. Well, my Zucci sandals, which to me are better and cheaper. I finally get the energy to turn off my alarm clock and the courage to face the wet floor and sandals. “GERRMANASEDE”, was just...

9 likes 1 comment 1
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Friendship is Time

Submitted to Contest #62

“For your exit ticket on artifacts, you will have the make a time capsule,” explained Mrs.Conners, our history teacher. “You have to put all of the things that describe you into any type of bottle. You can even decorate the bottle!” Brinngggg! We headed out of class. Gabi imminently walked over to me. “Cherry, do you want to help with each other’s time capsule project?” “OK. Sure,” I said. “Are you ok?” Gabi asked, “You don’t seem like yourself.” “I’m fine, I just don’t want to do this kindergarten stuff,” I said. “Cherry, this isn’t ki...

10 likes 3 comments 3
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Eccentric Elderly Wisdom

Submitted to Contest #62

The memory of her guffawing classmates still followed Shari down the sidewalk where she skipped a grinning path around early dinner diners and off-duty nine-to-fivers. Her brown boots clomped with victory to the tune of crawling traffic.  The homework had been, “Write about your thoughts on predetermined futures or the results of karma.” Shari’s definite high mark was exhibited in the shared exuberance filling that literature hall as she proudly expounded on the absurdity of any such superstitions. Humor was her jam—her fruitiest, mos...

17 likes 4 comments 4
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Gambits

Submitted to Contest #62

N.B: I don't support burglary or other stuff.(Strong language warning)Gambits:  Destiny is something I don't believe in. But that doesn't mean I don't plan ahead.   Every day, the same old story. That fat idiot doesn't even seem to care about adventures. There are so many things to try but no, he won't give up his century-old techniques. Kinda like using the same openings all the time.   "Hey, what the shit are you thinking?"   Did you call me shit? "Nothing boss. Catching right up."&nbs...

21 likes 3 comments 3
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Coin toss

Submitted to Contest #62

I chose to go. Live or die. People bugged me. I should have given my fortune to the poor blah blah blah. Hey, I gave ten percent, as expected, required, demanded. Leave me alone. I just wish to get out of here, hopefully for a better world one hundred years down the road. Maybe by then the earth shall be done with all this petrol, plastic trash and general pollution. Geeees someday you can't even see see the sky over the city. Ok, it happened once when they had COVID-19, people for most part stayed inside....except for a few idiots here and ...

10 likes 0 comments 0
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The Legend of Squeak Frog

Submitted to Contest #61

The day I became an auntie was the greatest day of my life. I remember the first time I held my newborn nephew, staring down in absolute awe of this brand new human being nestled in my arms. His rosy little cheeks, his chubby little face, his adorable little button nose, and the light blonde fuzz covering his soft little head, which was still slightly cone-shaped from his journey through my sister Anne’s birth canal, filled my heart with a love I’ve never felt for anyone that wasn’t a golden retriever. I knew right then and there that I woul...

8 likes 0 comments 0
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I Got a Rock for my Twelfth Birthday--And It Wasn't Even a Pet Rock :/

Submitted to Contest #61

“Mimi, I have your birthday gift,” Aunt June called as she reached into her bulky, leather purse.I skipped down my new mansion’s grand foyer to meet her, the new dress shoes my mother forced me to wear clacking with every step. The new dress restricted my movements and my breathing as I tried to go faster. That’s why I think my mother bought it for me and made me wear it—so I couldn’t escape the mansion she recently inherited from her parents. Like the Chinese art of footbinding I saw at the cultural museum field trip my old school took last...

24 likes 5 comments 5
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Just Use Bleach!

Submitted to Contest #61

"NOOO! You can't! I won't let you! You can't take Mr. PinkBuns away from meeeee!" Childish screams mixed with frustrated sobs echoed from Emerick's room as his dad tried to detach his son's hand from a dirty but fluffy dark pink bunny. The stuffy, at first glance, seemed like an elongated walrus. A skinny, extremely sunburnt, just-rolled-in-mud walrus. Once you take a closer look at the rabbit, you'd realize it wasn't that you thought the bunny was ugly, it was that it was actually ugly. It was a disgusting shade dark pink, with large, p...

12 likes 1 comment 1
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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