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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

150+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 5 of 10

Smell of Regret

Submitted to Contest #313

You know that certain stench, as if someone just had sex in the motel room before you settled in? Like sweat and mildew and a hint of cigarette sweetness. Because at least the scent of smoke smelled way better than that particular B.O. that makes your skin crawl. Since a deep part of you knows that foul odor better than anyone else. Sick, ain't it?That's how I knew Jennifer was cheating on me. Curled up in a sheet cocoon, undeniably naked beneath the silk fabric. I couldn't believe she was pretending to be asleep. Knowing full well I wasn't ...

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Eviction Time

Submitted to Contest #313

Eviction Time If only I could fast forward to when he is out of here… Shit, my stomach hurts. And not that I need to eat something kind of ache; more like I have been kicked in the gut and left to rot kind of pain. I have to get Miles to leave. He is sucking the joy out of me little by little. I can see it in my smile, which hasn't truly reached my eyes in months. “Fake it until you make it”, that’s my daddy’s motto. And I have lived that way for a while now. But no more. Today is the day. I am going to force Miles to get out. To leave me,...

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Over a bowl of ‘haleem’

Submitted to Contest #313

It was exhibition time for the pressure cooker! A moment of showcasing its terrific sense of timing! Hissing frenetically and dancing to the tune of self composed music, it threatened to demonstrate the full range of its strokes. Sidra, on cue, sprinted towards the thick of action only managing to slip over a disjointed tile. Holding her toe with one hand, she fiddled with the stove for a few seconds. Eventually, the cooker was tamed, but not without a noticable degree of obstinate resistance!The mixture of lentils under the popular name of ...

10 likes 2 comments 2
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Dear Lord

Submitted to Contest #313

“Are you there, God? It’s me, Myrna Valentino Snodgrass, nee Smith. Yes, I know that’s quite a handle to my jug, but my mother loved the movies and Myrna Loy and Rudolph Valentino were her favorites. It’s a good thing she didn’t like Boris Karloff. Anyway, I’ve been meaning to get in touch. My eightieth birthday is next week, so I thought I’d better stop putting it off, seeing as what we might be meeting soon, begging pardon for my presumption. I don’t think I’ve done anything bad enough to send me to the other place. I’m in great health for...

9 likes 1 comment 1
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Out of the Forge

Submitted to Contest #313

Marek frowned as he ran his fingers back and forth over a rough spot on the cylindrical hilt in his hands. He grabbed the requisition form and sighed. His frown deepened as he searched for the name of the technician assigned to the order. He muttered a mouthful of curses as he got up from his desk, hilt still in hand, and made his way over to one of scores of workstations in the smallish Citadel weapons Forge. “If you’re here about the Phantasm Mk. 2 from last night, I don’t wanna hear it. That hilt was defective out of the press and we don’...

6 likes 1 comment 1
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Who Designed Your Route To Success?

Submitted to Contest #313

Lacey Stanwick was invited to motivate the graduating class of Collingswood University. She was encouraged by her best friend Paula. “I know you hate public speaking, but these are young innocent minds who need a spoonful of wisdom from us ol. . ....? Paula held onto the D. Lacey threw her a stern look, and she said, “Us mature women.” “Nice recovery,” Lacey said with a smile. Staring at more than three hundred eager minds, their spongelike brain unprepared for the struggles and cruelty of our world. Breathing heavily for courage, as her int...

3 likes 3 comments 3
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That Time I Taught My Friend a Forbidden Language

Submitted to Contest #313

Contains sexual language, references to sexual activity, and mature themes. If you’re married and don’t have red hair in your beard. You’re probably going to get divorced.This isn’t a hair color thing. Even if your hair is ginger or black, your beard can always get redder if you know what I mean.If you’re already divorced. Check your beard for red hairs. Don’t have any? Know that 1 little red hair might have saved you from custody paperwork.Growing out that post-divorce depression beard might serve as a great tool for self-awareness.You shou...

7 likes 3 comments 3
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What's that Smell?

Submitted to Contest #313

It hit me like a slap of hot cheese. My nostrils flared large enough to let in the new scent like a small spaceship entering the mothership to refuel. Unfortunately, this scented spaceship was sent from the enemy, and they were now inside, slipping around my nose holes and down into my throat, coating my tongue and my cheeks with their alien slime. My brain was working overtime to describe and label this new material, taking several samples to test in the laboratory before reporting to the next office for post-inspection and possible problem...

1 like 1 comment 1
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Burning Vacation

Submitted to Contest #313

Screaming upon screaming—shrill, chaotic, desperate.Frantic steps drummed across creaking floorboards, unsure of which way to turn.Maybe left? Maybe right?Both were wrong.Glass burst from one end of the room, sprinkling shards over the dining table like a sad symphony, while wood splintered and snapped from the unforgiving pressure at the door on the opposite side.Then all hell broke loose.Shuffling. Moaning. Growling. And snarling. All tangled and twisted with their screams.Squelching, wet flesh sickly accentuated the snapping of bone. The ...

16 likes 6 comments 6
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All together now. On the same page. In the same iteration.

Submitted to Contest #313

Look at me now! (I mean ‘look at Sir Lancelot now’) crowed Malory Tennyson.“little need to speakOf Lancelot in his glory! King, duke, earl,Count, baron—whom he smote, he overthrew.” Malory Tennyson, the owner of Malory Tennyson’s Cloudbank Cabin for Arthurian Studies, was reclining on the porch of Cloudbank Cabin, watching all the Arthurian characters demonstrating their martial skills, in a practice session in the Fog Lake at the foot of the Cabin. With him were Little Plump Jo, the current Artisan in Residence at the Cabin and her overexci...

8 likes 6 comments 6
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Shrine of the Stinging Doom

Submitted to Contest #313

“Are you there, God? It’s me… and I’m covered in jellyfish.” My statement echoed off the cavern walls, followed by a soft squelching noise as I peeled a translucent, slightly bioluminescent creature off my face. Behind me, Gregory groaned and slumped against a rock that was definitely cursed. His crimson robes were soaked and dripping, his boots squishing audibly. “Rowan. Remind me again why we agreed to fetch the Orb of Calamity from a shrine inside a gelatinous abyss full of jellyfish that have a taste for flesh?” “Because Nyla said it...

4 likes 2 comments 2
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May The Shepherd Rest

Submitted to Contest #313

“Are you there, god? It's me... Death!” The hooded figure glances up from the stone fence he’s rested upon, looking up at the sky in silence for a moment before calling out again. “Seriously, not answering isn’t cool! I mean, If I were to go full radio silence on you I’d end up with a written warning or at least get an earful from Gabriel But you ignore me and that’s just fine!” Death shuffles the scythe in his fingers before resting the handle between his bony knees as he waits for a response that does not come. “Fine, well if you’re going...

9 likes 3 comments 3
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Whiskers Smells Something Bad

Submitted to Contest #313

It was the sound that woke him first. A soft whimper, high-pitched and unfamiliar, weaving its way into his dreams like an off-key violin. Then came the smell — damp fur, sweet breath, the faint tang of something young and stupid.Whiskers sat up on the windowsill, his tail flicking once with precise irritation. His ears turned toward the hallway. The house was quiet, but not the usual kind of quiet. There was tension in it. He could smell it. Hear it in the way the woman shuffled her feet too fast in the kitchen, the way the boy whispered to...

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Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

Submitted to Contest #313

“So, one two three…Take my hand and come with meBecause you look so fineThat I really wanna make you mine Four five six…Come on and get your kicksNow you don’t need the money when you look like thatDo ya, honey?” - Jet The text from Jimmy came in around 1:30 on that Saturday afternoon; Hey Man, we should be there at Stan’s in about a half hour. Come join the crawl! First round is on me. If you are not familiar with a “pub crawl”, it basically works like this. A group of friends and/or like-minded people who enjoy a nice Saturday afternoon o...

18 likes 28 comments 28
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You First

Submitted to Contest #313

The wrappers were still warm between them, sitting like a peace treaty on the dashboard. Aaron unwrapped his sandwich with the kind of slow, deliberate care usually reserved for diffusing a bomb.She loved that about him. How unaware he was to everything around him when he was focused. Until she thought about how unaware he was of her feeling for him.Or was he ? Questions.Jasmine rolled her eyes. “You always eat like it’s your last meal.”Aaron didn’t look up. “Might be, the way you drive. One swerve away from headlines.”“I didn’t hear you com...

2 likes 1 comment 1
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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