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Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8930+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 5 of 596

Come for the Monkeys, Stay for the Emotional Damage

Submitted to Contest #300

A True Story of an Adventure in Belize After a very mediocre relationship during COVID with a truly uninspiring man named Kyle, whose greatest passion in life is collecting discarded or lost gloves and hats found on the streets of New York. I find myself single, vaccinated, and dangerously susceptible to bad ideas. It isn't my finest moment, and let's be real, no one knows what they are doing during COVID times. Most of these relationships founded during lockdown are purely for emotional survival. "You have to go to Belize," my friend Jenna ...

18 likes 16 comments 16
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The Monster Was Me

Submitted to Contest #300

TW: Contains themes of domestic violence and emotional abuseI got in my car,A quarter past five.I had to go,I needed to drive.Someplace to be,A place no one knows.I had to hide,I had to go.It was dark when I left,I watched the sunrise.Dark reds and pinks,The sky filled my eyes.I needed to run away,A place to hide.Away from her words,Afraid, I don't deny.It happened again,A repeat, you see.A scuffle again,She was mad at me.As I drove, my thoughts,They did wander to no end.How much I messed up,I couldn't pretend.That little redhead,Stood a lit...

4 likes 0 comments 0
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In the north.

Submitted to Contest #300

‘Skål!’ Tom exclaims as he raises his glass.‘What’s that?’‘It means cheers in Swedish.’‘Have you got completely native?’‘Yes. When in Rome and all that.’‘But we aren’t in Rome, are we?’‘No. But we should make an effort to speak the local tongue, shouldn’t we?’‘So far, my experience with this language is beyond comprehension.’‘Well, consider this your first lesson, then. Skål!’ Tom repeats, lifting his glass again.‘Cheers,’ Jerry mutters stubbornly. A client of Jerry has generously offered his summer house in Sweden for them to enjoy at no co...

7 likes 4 comments 4
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The Green Mamba Rises

Submitted to Contest #299

Bartholomew had a very important task. He and he alone had been chosen to guard against the Transmogrification. All of Capparta, not to mention the entire Midrealm, depended on him. It involved keeping his eyes open, and it was boring as hell. Why Stonemere had selected him among all the other acolytes was beyond anyone's ken, especially Bartholomew's. Sure, he had some modicum of talent for the lower forms of physical magic, but elemental spells eluded him and he was a miserable failure when it came to astral projection. Yet no magic was ne...

18 likes 9 comments 9
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Match-faced Crabs

Submitted to Contest #299

I got the name Match-face because I damn near burned my face off. So I decided to make a show out of it. In a city of a million people, you have to make a living somehow, and I found making a fool of myself in public was the best way to do it. Near the bazaar, where the shopkeepers charm coins out of pockets, I worked to get a few patrons to part with a few coins before they blew their life savings on a rug worth less than a bucket of spit. Five jugs of oil, fifty matches, a torch, plus a party trick I learned, and I had what I thought was a...

5 likes 1 comment 1
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Ding Dong

Submitted to Contest #299

Sounds of labored huffing and clumsy clip clop footfalls heightened in my ears. Instinctively, I knew this was a telltale sign of Meredith Bowers. She was in my general vicinity and on the move. This lady was never not in a rush, always telling someone something and loudly at that. My mother says Meredith is a good-hearted woman, but I know she’s only good-hearted when she thinks she might get some recognition for it. Now within ten paces of my grocery lane, Meredith shouts at me using traditionally friendly language coated in her demanding...

6 likes 1 comment 1
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Clown Show

Submitted to Contest #299

Yo-yo stared at the wall in front of him, inspecting each speck of brick laid decades ago by some long-dead brick master. How proud must that guy have felt, finishing a wall with his bare hands, spinning concrete like it was art, smoothing every last glob with precision?And now here Yo-yo was—hungover, wearing piss-soaked drawers, half-assed face paint melting in the heat, sitting in a beat-up 2005 Ford Taurus with a different-colored fender and a side mirror held on with Scotch tape.He had a college degree. He could’ve been on the ground fl...

5 likes 2 comments 2
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Everybody Hates Clowns

Submitted to Contest #299

Claude shook a packet of sugar into the paper cup and swirled the wooden stick that always reminded him of a tiny tongue depressor. A large hairy hand thrust into his periphery. He looked up to find the corresponding face. A man with tousled dark hair, bushy mustache, and full beard grinned at him. “Brad, rodeo clown.” Claude looked down at the palm still waiting to be acknowledged and resisted the urge to use a hand buzzer as a gag. No, this was not the place. Instead, he grabbed the furry appendage. “Claude, circus clown.” “Nice to meet...

5 likes 0 comments 0
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The Snortsville Street Talent Slam (The Gig That Went Bananas)

Submitted to Contest #299

.Once upon a a Tuesday, in the gloriously chaotic town of Snortsville—a place known for its municipal banana sculptures and one suspiciously angry-looking llama—three performers were gearing up for the biggest event of the year: The Snortsville Street Talent Slam.The stakes? A $500 gift card to Sizzlin’ Steve’s BBQ Buffet and the shiny Golden Ukulele Trophy.The contenders?Bingo the Clown – a slapstick disaster on stilts.Darryl D. Chuckler – a pun-slinging street comedian with the charisma of a caffeinated platypus.The Amazing Marvin – a magi...

4 likes 2 comments 2
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Troy in Motion

Submitted to Contest #299

Troy slid into his seat in the middle of the second row, his chair tipped sideways, nearly falling over, but settling on all four legs as the tardy bell faded away. Mrs. B raised one eyebrow at him and started roll call.“Peter Emory”“Here”“Angeline Emory”“Here”“Eric Getty”“Here.”Ripples of stifled giggles went through the classroom. Mrs. B looked up from her ledger, the giggles and grins were coming from the area behind Troy. “Troy”“Here.”“We know you are here, what we don’t know is why everyone behind you is laughing.”“I wouldn’t know, ma’...

6 likes 1 comment 1
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Clean-up in Aisle 3

Submitted to Contest #299

As I splay out on my couch, making a weak attempt at levitating the toys back into the play-trunk, my youngest son runs through the back door holding a metal trash can lid like a shield in one hand and in the other hand is a crude, tinfoil sword. He appears to be covered in blood, from head to toe, but the pungent familiar condiment smell is likely why I am not more alarmed. I simply ask, “Are we out of catsup and foil now, too?”Of course, it's raining but having run out of toilet-paper this morning, we need to go grocery shopping. I relucta...

11 likes 9 comments 9
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Welcome to Blagnorff

Submitted to Contest #299

Greetings, Earthlings, and welcome to Blagnorff, a division of Pbbt! Industries. All hail Blagnorff! Pbbt! We are pleased as punch that our planet and your planet have entered into a mutually beneficial trade agreement, which includes our newly formed Department of Earth Resources here at our head office on exoplanet TNT4-5Q. And you should take great pride in being the first Earthlings to…hold on a moment…okay, I’m now being told that “Earthlings” is an offensive term and that I am “worse than Hitler,” whatever that means. I am now to refe...

5 likes 3 comments 3
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MY POLISH EASTER CAKE CAPER

Submitted to Contest #299

My Polish Easter Cake Caper By Sherry Miller I wish family and friends would stop trying to make this story a joke. I already know that this is NOT a funny story. In fact, it’s very serious. If you’re Polish, you may get it. If not…I’m going to tell it anyway. What’s true is… well… I studied journalism. So, doesn’t that mean I always tell the truth. The problem is this happens every year. On a special Polish holiday. And I still can’t figure out why no one can solve the mystery. Easter eve and I’m shifting from side to side. I will...

3 likes 1 comment 1
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Confessions of a Comic Priest

Submitted to Contest #299

The "Purgatory Comedy Club" sign flickered outside, casting a sulfurous glow across my dashboard. A demon with a microphone winked from the logo. Not the venue I imagined when I answered God's call fifteen years ago.I checked my watch: 9:40 PM. My evening off – the one weekly reprieve from parish duties that even Bishop Kelly insisted I take "for my mental health." I rummaged through my glove compartment for a mint, fingers brushing past a vial of emergency holy oil, three prayer cards, and a pamphlet on reconciliation that I'd been meaning ...

10 likes 6 comments 6
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My Bully Frenemy... is a Ghost?!

Submitted to Contest #299

I guess I never thought I’d said life is good while staring at the chaos right in the face.If you look at the picture, you will find me with my dress drenched. The whole venue for my Quinceañera party is flooded. The cake, the food, and some presents are done for good. But here we are, dancing under the lights like nothing happened, listening to “Party in the USA” and moving our hips. The good people I want and need are here: my parents, my best friend Mary and my newfound friend… frenemy… uh, I… I don’t even know how to name it. One, becaus...

7 likes 4 comments 4
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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