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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8960+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 531 of 598

Revocation

Submitted to Contest #59

  Ninety days ago I was Revoked.    It was in a fast food place, at lunchtime. The com implant in my forearm made the universally dreaded "uh oh" noise and its whole face lit up and turned hard candy orange. Notification bells went off all around me.  Suddenly, everyone was checking their own comms to see the latest Revocation Announcement. ("Watch for Orange Near You!") In the next moment I had this under-the-microscope sensation as everyone identified me . . .and abruptly stopped acknowledging my existence. There I was,...

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I Found Out Lava Won't Kill Me

Submitted to Contest #59

An entitled-looking white woman with a Karen-haircut and a handbag that cost more than my house stared at me as I worked on the engine of a helicopter with Paradise Tours and a huge hibiscus flower painted on the side of it. “When’s my tour?” She demanded.“Sorry, Ma’am.” I wiped the sweat from my tan skin. “There’s no tours today.”Her eyes flared with anger. “Yes, there is.” She ripped a colorful schedule with Paradise Hotel and Resort—the business I work for as their only helicopter mechanic and pilot for all volcano viewing tours—written o...

41 likes 15 comments 15
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From Peanut Town to the Big Apple

Submitted to Contest #59

“I think I’m ready!” exclaimed, excited yet nervous Maybelle. “Honey, we’re gonna miss you.”, said her sniffling parents. They were nervous about sending their child, who was only eighteen, across the country.  The Millers were from the small town of Kinsey, AL. Which is right outside of Dothan. Maybelle was the youngest of four kids. So, all of her brothers had already moved out.  Maybelle had recently been accepted to The Juilliard School, In New York. She had an astounding voice. She could play the piano and the guitar. She wo...

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Town Without Pity

Submitted to Contest #59

 [Author’s Note: If you do not know the film and the song Town Without Pity, at least look them up on Wikipedia. At least listen to the song. It was one of Gene Pitney’s best. That town without pity might help us put Bristol, Maine in a better light.]Bristol, located on the Penobscot River near where it enters the Atlantic, had always been distrustful of newcomers. The Bristolians weren’t bad people; they just didn’t know what to do with new things. People who were from away always brought new things. That made most of the Bristolians u...

27 likes 12 comments 12
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Apartment 3B

Submitted to Contest #59

New York City baby. The Big Apple. The City of Dreams. The City So Nice, They Named it Twice. Or in my case, the raggedy apartment 3B on the corner of 110th street and Cathedral Parkway. And when I say raggedy, I mean that the second I stepped foot in this place, I wanted to grab my bags and get myself out ASAP. The sickeningly yellow walls, the caveman-era looking architecture, and the windows, those rickety, grimy, windows, all come together to make a real eyesore of a place. Oh, but of course, Cam. If it weren’t for Cam, I wouldn’t be any...

7 likes 1 comment 1
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Zombies Sound Safer Than My Family

Submitted to Contest #60

Most people are scared after and during an apocalypse. Am I?Nah.I basically run around with LOSER tattooed on my forehead; I'm sure a few zombies aren't scarier than half the bullies at Gire High School.I'm that Harry Potter nerd. The computer nerd. The Percy Jackson nerd. Guess what?I'm a nerd.You know, in case you haven't noticed.Want to know what's ironic? My best friend is captain of the football team. Boy, does that have its advantages. My bestie can beat up Andrew Vanderwalk, Jake "The Pit (DON'T ask, you'll regret it)" Jackson, and ab...

144 likes 172 comments 172
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Donuts

Submitted to Contest #59

The only known Krispy Kreme stationed on the corner of Levington Ave. and Fair Fax St. provided a place of comfort and familiarity for thousands every morning. That warm, overpowering scent of fresh glaze, chocolate, and sugar invaded the streets of Macon City, inviting the likes of children, adults, and elders. For some, the anticipation awaiting a fresh donut was the only reason to get out of bed. For others, having to savor every bite because they knew it would be their only source of pleasure for the day, the hour-long wait was worth it....

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Bottled Water—Oh, and Some Directions, Please.

Submitted to Contest #59

I had asked for the bottled water minutes before I entered into a staring contest with this old woman, face so wrinkled it looks like the creases of a crumpled page. I don’t think she’s blinked since I spoke to her, and the intensity of her gaze only feeds my assumption that she’s never blinked in her life. I hold my ground. “So…” I shuffle my feet, then readjust my crooked skirt, dirt spotted at the hem. “…about that water…” She raises a pencil-thin eyebrow. “What about it?” I blink. “Can I have some?” Her nose wrinkles in disa...

8 likes 2 comments 2
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The World Is Going Crazy!

Submitted to Contest #60

           It’s been 30 days since the planet Earth had become overrun with mindless zombies.            It all started with some mad scientist-type psychopath creating an airborne toxin that was sold to the top bidder. I won’t say which one, but let’s just say that his people feared him greatly. This leader planned to detonate several explosive devices simultaneously in highly populated cities worldwide to kill off all of his comp...

17 likes 2 comments 2
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One Of Us Is Comfortable

Submitted to Contest #59

“You don’t have to come with us, you know?” Jack started, not having realised that Rowan was looking at him. “Nah, it’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be fine? It’s fine.” “D’aww, what’s this?” Alice said, leaning over Jack’s shoulder. “Is my little brother embarrassed?” That much was clear to anyone walking past them on the street. Jack’s cheeks were redder than the traffic lights, and despite the cool autumn air he had a thin trail of sweat down the side of his face. At being called out though he clenched his jaw and squared his shoulders, sh...

20 likes 3 comments 3
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Dinner With Chuckles

Submitted to Contest #59

The drive to the estate was horrific. I came down into the valley and I was sweating by the time I arrived at the tennis club. I’d never seen anything like it. They had warned me about the coast. Well, you know. You saw it on TV. I was never much of a tree climber, being the portliest of my class. As a child birds had annoyed me. Always pecking at my windows in the morning. I didn't miss those. I did make a mental note to ask the first fellow I saw what to do about the slow decline of my automobile tires along the way. Nothing is as atrocio...

11 likes 1 comment 1
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Alone in New York City

Submitted to Contest #59

I was walking to work like I did every day. Every day for two years I walked to the skyscraper towering above the city. Every day for two years I took the same route to work. Every day I passed the same buildings and the same people. But I knew none of them. Not really. I kept my head down, not talking to anyone. No one ever spoke to me. I never spoke to anyone else. That’s the way it was.  “Jemma,” my boss barked as soon as I stepped into the office. I had long given up on correcting him. Julia, I used to say, but I was nev...

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Musical

Submitted to Contest #59

I just want to get away from the noise. That keeps me up all night, lights on. All noises surrounding me like gnats, fleas and flies’ buzzing in a tent even with a net all wrapped around it. Musical lyrics traveled through my head like the cars driving past me on the adjacent street. Much slower but still keeping me distracted from all the honking, screeching, yelling, light-changing, lane-changing chaos and commotion coming from Constitution Avenue NW and 14th St NW.     I didn’t mind the crazy traffic and exclamations bulle...

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Together in Palm Tree Estates

Submitted to Contest #59

Together In Palm Tree Estates Palm Tree Estates was for the well-to-do.  The people were mostly snobbish even to each other at times. In order for anyone to visit, they had to provide their name and identification to the gate attendant. If their name wasn’t on the list, they weren’t allowed in. As one resident put it: “It is a good way to keep the family riff-raff away.” Donald and Marge Thomas had been very excited to move into the posh neighbourhood. They had made a tremendous amount of plans and couldn’t wait ...

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Shooting Stars

Submitted to Contest #59

‘Attention, passengers. Our ship will experience a little space turbulence in a few minutes. You might want to buckle up in your seats.’ Nico’s collection of shooting stars was scattered on the bedroom floor, which he scrambled to gather as Jacob’s voice crackled at him from over the intercom. ‘I repeat: passengers, you are requested to retrieve your places as we are about to go through a patch of bumpy vacuum here.’ Nico snorted, wondering from where Jacob had learned all the fancy words as he made his way to the bridge. The intercom crac...

17 likes 12 comments 12
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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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