0 comments

Funny

Together In Palm Tree Estates

Palm Tree Estates was for the well-to-do.  The people were mostly snobbish even to each other at times. In order for anyone to visit, they had to provide their name and identification to the gate attendant. If their name wasn’t on the list, they weren’t allowed in. As one resident put it: “It is a good way to keep the family riff-raff away.”

Donald and Marge Thomas had been very excited to move into the posh neighbourhood. They had made a tremendous amount of plans and couldn’t wait to settle in. They already knew a few people that lived on the secluded island including the real estate agent, Sandra Bolton.

She had given them a tour the day they were looking at purchasing a condo.

“This is going to be wonderful especially when the children come over for Christmas.”

There were tennis courts, bike lanes, walking paths, flowers and trees. It was a beautiful area.

Donald smiled but wasn’t too sure. His wife was already sold.

“What is it going to be like in the winter?”

“Oh, the winter is just beautiful because you can go for walks and snowshoe and cross-country ski. The trails are well-maintained.”

“I don’t like the cold,” announced Donald.

“Then you can stay inside with a nice glass of wine besides the roaring fire.”

“I don’t like wine.”

Marge gave him a dirty look and he didn’t say anything else.

So they moved in and it was a huge fiasco. The front gate attendant didn’t want to let them in or the moving van. Donald was furious, but Marge charmed the man. The kids and grandkids had come along to help.  There were boxes everywhere and by the end of the day when everyone left, the old couple were exhausted.

“Do you remember what happened the first time we moved into our new house?”

He smiled in the dark just as he was about to slip into slumber land.

“Yeah, I was twenty-five and full of lust. I am not seventy-five and I’m a bust.”

They laughed themselves to sleep.

Donald didn’t fit in Palm Tree Estates. It was that simple.  He didn’t like the golf course on the island and wasn’t keen on hanging there at all. He didn’t even like the game. The problem was the in-crowd all hung out at the nineteenth hole before, during and after rounds.

He didn’t like to go for a walk.  Most of them had dogs and they didn’t pick after Fido.  

“There’s more poop on the streets in this ritzy neighbourhood then we had no the farm I grew up on,” he proclaimed.

The worse part about it, Marge loved the new digs. She had made friends and unlike sour Donald, she fit right in and was part of the in-crowd.  They went biking together and for afternoon walks. They had tea and played cards.  They gossiped about everyone and laughed saucily.

She was hardly ever home.  This was another sour point with Donald.

“Going out today dear?”

“Yes, of course, I am.  Do you want to come along?”

“No.”

The thought of having around a bunch of old birds was depressing.  Besides, he hadn’t told his wife, but he didn’t exactly like any of her new friends.

“They aren’t nothing but a bunch of old cackling hens,” he told the four walls.

Jennifer, the oldest daughter had called her mother up.

“So, mom, how do you like it so far?”

“Oh, honey, I love it. It is great.  Your father doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself that much.  Today, I am going to play tennis. I have never played before in my whole life, I hope I don’t get tennis elbow.”

Jennifer laughed.

“I am sure things will get better for dad.”

“I hope so. He won’t listen to a word I say or any of my suggestions. You know how stubborn your father can be.”

“I am sure everything will work out.  Bye mom, gotta go. Love you.”

“Love you too, honey.  Give my best to Richard and the kids.”

“I will. Give dad a hug for me.”

“It is in the bank.”

Things didn’t get any better for Donald. He was bored and alone most of the time. Marge was always gone and there was nothing to do but watch TV and take naps.

“This sucks.”

Going for a drive wasn’t the answer because there weren’t that many roads and besides there was always someone walking or biking or some old fool rollerblading.  Trying to get off the island was a pain in the butt and then trying to get back on was even worse.  The ferry that came and went was unreliable.  They only took so many vehicles at a time because the boat wasn’t that big.

“What are we going to do if the river freezes over and we can’t get off this godforsaken island and we are sick?”  Donald asked his wife.

“My friends will take care of me. If you had friends then they would take care of you.”

He grumbled something and went off into the den.

One night, when she was actually hone and he wasn’t eating leftovers or whatever he could muster up, she smiled.

“What’s up?”

“The Rustons have asked us to come over for diner tomorrow night. There will be a few couples there and I made a commitment.”

“Without asking me?  I can’t stand Andy Ruston. The guy is a total loser.”

“I’ve met him and he is a nice man. His wife Theresa is a sweetheart.”

“She’s an old busybody, gossip and a genuine pain in the butt.”

“How can you say that when you don’t even know her?”

“Because I’ve heard her talk when she comes over. Have you notice every time she drops in — usually when we are eating — I ignore her?”

“You are self-centred man, Donald Thomas.  If have to, I will go alone.”

She got up and left the table without finishing her supper.

“That’s just a great kettle of fish to deal with.”

He slept on the couch that night not daring to go into the bedroom.  She didn’t invite him in.

The next morning she was off with her friends biking.

He looked out the window and it was very beautiful.  The streets were tree-lined and the whole island was surrounded by water.  There were flowers planted everywhere and all types of plants. The monthly condo fees paid for that maintenance.  There was a full-time crew taking care of stuff.

There were boats in the harbour and it was always nice to see a large ship go by in the shipping lanes.  This was one of the few perks to living there.  Donald decided to go for a walk and left the wife a note.

“Hope she doesn’t have a heart attack.”

He grabbed his had and walking stick and took off. The plan was to walk around the island and think about things.

He hadn’t walked more than five minutes when somebody’s dog came running at him and they did battle fending the friendly pooch off with his walking stick. 

The owner came running.

“What are you doing to my dog?”

“Your Labradoodle attacked me.”

“He would do no such thing.”

“Yes, he did. Your lucky I don’t sue you.”

“I will tell the Island Committee about this.”

“Then do so.”

She left in a huff. 

“That’s it, I’m outta here.”

He started to walk back and then he saw Marge with her friends. He had never seen the woman in almost fifty years of marriage plus three years courting so happy.  He bowed his head and toddle off home.

She came in the late afternoon.

“Donald, I’m home. What do you want for supper?”

He came down the stairs dressed like he had a diner party to go to.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought the Ruston’s invited us to a diner party?”

“They did.  You are going?”

“I was invited wasn’t I?  It would be rude not to go. You had better put a step in your walk honey cause I don’t want to be late and I’m not going alone.”

There was a twinkle in his eye.

“Yes, sir,” she saluted him military style.

She raced up the stairs, stopped and kissed him right.  Then she continued.

He came down the stairs and went into the den to wait for her.

“I didn’t say I was going to like it honey.”

He looked outside and sighed.

September 18, 2020 23:19

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

0 comments

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.