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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8960+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 520 of 598

The class of ‘99’

Submitted to Contest #61

Harrold Johnson read through the invitation for the hundredth time then folded it up, slipped it back in its envelope, and let out a big sigh. He sat back in his chair, put his feet up on the foot stool-it’s ok they were his indoor only slippers-and stared from the conservatory window at his beloved garden bathed in the evening sunlight. The standard roses he’d planted when he retired needed deadheading and re-mulching. The grass could do with a trim and a feed, and there’s the cups, yes, the cups in the cup cupboard needed rotating so the o...

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Never Again. Yours, Jennifer Stik

Submitted to Contest #61

"No," Jennifer Stik said the moment she laid eyes on it. "No, no, no."The envelope was small and white, with dainty little birds decorating the edges. It was addressed to Jennafer Style, from 'The Meeting RHS Corporation.'Jennifer knew exactly what it was. And she'd been trying for 10 years to avoid it."Of course they spelled my name wrong. OF COURSE!!" Jennifer yelled, throwing her hands up into the air in frustration. Her fiancé, Dellard Buchots, poked his head into the kitchen."Honey, are you okay?" He asked, running his fingers through h...

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How to Thrive at Your High School Reunion: Top 10 Tips and Tricks

Submitted to Contest #61

Author’s NoteYou’ve just received the letter, with that damn mascot in the corner (a hawk? A stallion? Maybe a lightning bolt, if the school has a stick up its ass?), and your heart stutters.The words “You’re invited!” swim in front of you and you laugh at the irony of it, because you can count on one hand the number of times you heard that phrase in high school.You have absolutely, unequivocally no idea what to do. Have no fear! Author X here—expert in the art of petty revenge, the science of the humble brag—armed with the top 10 tips ...

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Back To Past Present

Submitted to Contest #61

“They shouldn’t be allowed to send filth like this through the mail.” Aldena said as she read the card inside the envelope addressed to her. “What did you get this time? The water bill again?” Adena’s daughter, Nora asked as she gulped down the last drop of coffee from her cup. “You have jokes. No, daughter is not the water bill or any other bill, it is something more horrible than any bill I could get in the mail.”  “Are you going to tell me or just let me keep guessing, Mother?”  “Read it for yourself.” Adena handed the e...

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No Country for Olde Gods

Submitted to Contest #60

“Snow leopards.” God said, mustering whatever remnants of bravado he still could. “Snow leopards are the future. They are a beast of majesty, of principle. Um, of gravitas.” He trailed off as he gazed over the boardroom. Of all the angel investors he had ever dealt with, this batch was surely the worst. Not one of them understood his vision, his craft. The intangible beauty of a mind unladen by cynicism. That sometimes, to make a Master Species, you had to break a few Earths. “Ahem, God,” It was Egbert who spoke, one of the ambrosia swi...

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Siamese Man

Submitted to Contest #60

   What’s the one thing we all take for granted? Salt. You know those people who try to go on low sodium diets, and one day they’ve gone too long without tasting anything, so they cave and spend their retirement funds on McDonalds fries? But there were no more McDonalds, because the world was trying to recover from a nuclear war that decimated the planet. So where the hell was I going to get my seasoning?   “Can’t I just drink some ocean water with my food?”   “Sure. If you want to grow a third ar...

8 likes 0 comments 0
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Massive Rubber Duck

Submitted to Contest #60

It’s been like this for as long as I can remember. Every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is go straight to the front door to find…ok, ok fine! First I get my coffee, because, well, coffee, but you’re not supposed to know that. Why? Because it’s the law to go to the door before anything else and find what’s there. So, I go right to the front door. Do I stop on my way to pet my adorable fluffy dog? No! Nothing would distract me from...ok, yes, I do stop to pet him, but so what? Anyways. At my ugly front door. I now struggle with t...

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Validation

Submitted to Contest #60

Megan felt powerful. She’d never known this feeling before, as she stared down at the phone in her hand. She’d never held power in her hands before like she did then. The feeling was addictive.  Megan smiled as she saw the numbers  rising on her screen— the measure of her success mounting. She smiled and thought back to how she had once been that ugly duckling from the classic, cliche fairy tale. All those years of isolation simply made the taste of her victory that much sweeter. Finally, all her efforts had been validate...

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The Apocalyptic Pepper Thief.

Submitted to Contest #60

“Good evening Mrs. Duvall,” said Adam, a tall, lanky man with blonde hair in his early twenties. Mrs. Duvall was a mannequin who had taken an unfortunate tumble out of an open department store window during the great quake. She was, more importantly, a great friend to Adam. “Mrs. Duvall you look ravishing as per usual” he said to the mannequin whose left arm was missing. He stopped for a second, squinted at the dummy and proclaimed, “I know what it is. You’ve had your hair done! How lovely. What’s that? Why yes, yes it has been dreadfully ho...

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The Apocalypse is a Great Opportunity to Become a Pirate Captain

Submitted to Contest #60

“Honestly, you can’t just not ignore global warming for years to let companies increase their profits, let the oceans rise and devour all of the land except for the tippy tops of high corporate buildings, and expect me not to steal a rich person’s cruise-size yacht and become a pirate.” Ash said as she twirled her tiki cocktail in her hand, reclining on a five dollar beach chair on a five million dollar yacht she stole. The sun glinted over her head as she adjusted her feathered old-fashioned pirate captain hat that matched her bikini to bl...

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About That Zombie Selfie

Submitted to Contest #60

To all my Instagram followers,Let me make this clear. I’m not making this post to apologize. I ain’t apologizing to any of you haters out there. This cancel culture that I have been a victim of is toxic, and when you send toxicity into the world, it will come to poison you right back, just like Mama always says. I am me, in all my me-ness, and I’m not letting anybody threaten my me-dom. You do you, but you stay out of my business. The only reason I’m posting this is to clear things up and set the record straight. I’m not letting all of this ...

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The World From Above

Submitted to Contest #60

Engineers.  Inventors.  Nomads.  Survivors.  There were many names for those left of humanity, but they called themselves Clingers.   They clung desperately to the last vestiges of hope, of survival, too stubborn to quit.   When the apocalypse had come that fateful day so many years ago and the ground became too dangerous to live on, they rose into the air on their blimps, their planes, anything.  Anything to get away.   They had made an oath that day.  That day they would survive, ...

33 likes 16 comments 16
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The Nest

Submitted to Contest #60

One humid summer night in 2022, the US President was awakened by an emergency call for a meeting, requested by the head of NASA. In the next day, the President was on air, informing the world that Earth was in the way of a fleet of meteors, the average size of one of them is bigger than times square. Unless properly dealt with, he said, they could be the end of life as we know it. As searches of the Times Square size surged, many governments started a joint initiative to send a number of highly advanced missiles to destroy the celestial bodi...

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Blackberries, Pillows, and the Problem with Unions

Submitted to Contest #60

A lot had changed in the half-decade since the inevitable zombie virus swept through and decimated the world’s population, any semblance of centralized government, law and order, and decent television. However, after the metaphorical dust had settled, some still found themselves adhering to a daily routine that hadn’t changed much from their pre-apocalyptic ones.  For Dr Adam Able, his day still started at a time that even the Cain Township’s resident rooster found irritatingly early. This early hour of awakening was due to one part...

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Fric the Caveman

Submitted to Contest #60

So-ho-ho~ You think you know how the dinosaurs went extinct, huh? Think you’re so smart?  “The dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago because of a meteor- the earliest human ancestor was found to have existed only 6 million years ago- no human has ever seen a dinosaur in person-” you believe, but these are all rumors spread by scientists to keep you quiet.My name is Fric, and I’m a caveman.I lived alongside my family… until they died in the apocalypse...“Oh no,” you say , “what happened?!” you ask. Well, it’s a long ...

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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