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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8650+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 572 of 577

Dinner à la Storm-tossed

Submitted to Contest #31

I had been told to stand down, so I picked up the newspaper and retired to the dining table with a cup of steaming tea.“Would you look at that, today’s weather was predicted to be stormy,” I called out, not bothering to raise my voice above the din emanating from the kitchen. I had been banished from that room by the Chef for the Day.I did not understand for what reason he wished to cook all of a sudden. But with the way he was cooking, I was pretty sure the storm predicted was currently brewing inside that very room. “Deaths, deaths, a...

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Reuben's Trip to the Store

Submitted to Contest #31

Reuben cracked his front door open and cautiously looked up and down the street. When he was satisfied he slowly crept down the sidewalk, while he fumbled in his pocket for his car keys. He finally grasped them when he got to his car door, which he quickly unlocked, then he leapt inside the vehicle.           He let out a sigh of relief, “Made it so far.” He said under his breath. Inserting his key, he started the car, after checking all of the mirrors and making sure no one was watching...

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Elmer

Submitted to Contest #30

This trip was the pits! Lost, little Elmer Grant thought this in the darkest corner of his mind as he stomped his way through the busy main path of the zoo towards the restroom. The curse word he had used wasn’t that bad! He’d heard Daddy say it often even around the dinner table in front of him and his siblings. Mommy would give him looks that she usually gave the kids when she was -shudder- disappointed in them and Daddy would half-halfheartedly apologize, but Elmer knew he was only doing it to get out of trouble. Something Elmer realized...

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The Human Washcloth

Submitted to Contest #28

I was standing on the third step of a brownstone stoop, late on a work night, with a man licking my face.  I wasn’t quite sure how I got there. That morning was a typical mundane Monday. I trudged to work, answered phones, made marketing collateral, chatted with friends online about where we would go drinking later that night. The morning was hazy in my memory and I couldn’t connect the dots to determine what went so tragically wrong. The man who was furiously lapping my lips, (and my chin and my nose…) was a coworker, Dan. He was the t...

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Mom Had One Job!

Submitted to Contest #28

My cousin’s wedding was the most family-involved wedding I’ve known so far. The day my sister and I were invited to be part of it, we were all having dinner at our favorite burger place. The occasion was actually a mash-up of a birthday celebration and wedding planning between my cousin, her fiance, and my dad, an ordained minister and the officiant of their wedding. The birthday celebrating was for my cousin’s mother, whose birth date was close to our dinner date, although me and my sister had ours coming up in a few weeks. With that in our...

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The Small Murder

Submitted to Contest #27

“My client wishes to enter a plea of not guilty, Your Honor,” said Brian Henry, the court-appointed attorney for Gavin Small. The lawyer unbuttoned his ill-fitting suit and sat down beside his client.“Are you sure?” replied Judge Milton.Unperturbed, Henry stood, buttoned his jacket, and said, “We are, Your Honour.” He unbuttoned his jacket and took his seat once more.The judge raised his considerable eyebrows, sighed, and announced that the state’s number one prosecutor, Carlton Lancaster may proceed.“Thank you, Your Honor,” the dashing lawy...

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Celie Goose

Submitted to Contest #27

Mrs Celie Goose was thinking hard.It was nowhere near Christmas – in fact it was summertime. Her goslings had grown and they were all preparing for their migration with lots of wingercising. So, all would seem to be well in the Goosey world, but it wasn't.Her friend “Red” Rhode was sick with fear for her little chicks, and so was another friend, Puck Duck, who was, or had been until they disappeared, raising his ducklings by himself since their mum, Trixie had abandoned them for Jake Drake.The ducklings had not been seen for more than a mont...

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A Fowl Liberation

Submitted to Contest #27

The train was set to leave the station at midnight, full to the brim with merchandise and passengers travelling from Omaha, West to the California coast. The engineer, Tommy, let out a slow breath and watched it crystalize in the air.  It was going to be a cold night and a long quiet ride.  He pulled his parka closer around his face and felt the warm fur tickle his nose.  Shivering, he pulled himself into the engine, and with one last wave to Fred the stationmaster, he released the brakes and headed out int...

11 likes 5 comments 5
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Running

Submitted to Contest #27

A small group of people assembled at the side of a country road by a field on the outskirts of a village. A sign read RUNNING TRAINING MEET HERE. Most of the group were waiting for the road-train, but one lady with a shopper bicycle was waiting for the butcher, since she had misinterpreted the sign.The rest of the group were laughing at her. Silly Miss Terri! They all knew each other, since they all lived in the village of Little Running. They were waiting for the train to take them into the nearby town of Long Running. The members of the vi...

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Prelude to the Prequel

Submitted to Contest #26

Baal Abraxah was an Arkhonh; an Ethereal Being born into the glorious zone of Typhareth. He wasn’t always the supreme monarch on Karataz (his home planet) but he did distinguish himself as a sagacious sorcerer from an early age. The nickname Brax followed him well into adulthood, although it originated during those early days.In any event, Brax rapidly ascended the ranks of the Arkhonz without missing a step. For instance, there was once a competition across the Megalocosmos to determine if the innumerable planets inhabited by the Arkhonh Al...

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The Professional

Submitted to Contest #26

Lil Johnny Brown was never the first child to be picked for teams at school. He was not a very popular kisser. Heck, even the Mathletes were a little wary of the four-foot-two, chunky, pink child with a mosaic of acne you could read your horoscope in. But lil Johnny Brown had a secret.No, not really. It was too enormous to be a secret.He was the best sousaphone player in the world.Now, some of you might be wondering, how might I, too, play the sousaphone? Or where might one acquire such an instrument? Or oh, is that that thing that I thought...

14 likes 6 comments 6
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The Greatest Since Orpheus

Submitted to Contest #26

I strummed a single chord. “No,” I said to myself. I strummed another chord. “That’s more like it.” I began to play around that chord, strumming and picking various notes until a song started to evolve. But it was garbage. I put the lyre down with a thud. “Don’t you have better things to do with your time?” said Paris. My brother had apparently just come back from hunting. He smelled like dirt.  “You’re a prince of Troy,” he continued, “there’s no reason for you to be a musician, like some common vagabond.” “But I’m not going to inherit...

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The Old Ennui: Or, The Refusal to Enjoy Anything

Shortlisted for Contest #25 ⭐️

Cole is pleased to admit that he’s never before found himself in the self-help section. Never needed it. Would hate to stoop so low, he thinks, dragging a superior eye over those brushing their fingers over all those bright-coloured titles. He’s not here for self-help. He’s here for help. Because just being in a bookstore will help. The culture of it all. The majesty of the written word, finely curated. He’s lucky he reads. Unlike all those sheeple out there who’ve forgotten how. Poetry, Cole thinks. Surely. This is his regula...

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The Lost Island

Submitted to Contest #25

As the monster’s breath grew closer, wetter, and warmer, and the worn leather of his shoes slapped against the ancient stone, a detached part of Arthur’s brain thought that, it being the new year and all, he might like to add Refusing to Steal Idols from Ancient Temples to his list of resolutions. Arthur thought it was a great idea. The golden monkey statue stared at him with its ruby eyes. It poked its face out from the crook of his arm like one of those purse dogs, only this one was worth roughly $7 billion. The toe of his right shoe caugh...

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Self-help

Submitted to Contest #25

What's this now? "The monkey in you. Discover your origin." Hm… He placed the book back. "Life secrets. Untold, never before heard of secrets." Pass. His eyes shifted towards a yellow cover with black writing. It looks like a labor safety manual. "Top ten lists of top ten things to improve about yourself. A guide to life, 100% results guaranteed." Do people actually buy this? He flipped the book over. Best selling author, over 1 billion sold. He glanced around and saw a whole section dedicated to yoga. Hm, that could be interesting. It's sup...

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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