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Discover weekly, the best short stories

Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8960+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 533 of 598

There's no weed in the apocalypse.

Submitted to Contest #60

One would think the biggest problems encountered during the apocalypse would be staying hydrated, foraging for food or maybe even finding a not-so-dirty dick to sit on. But, in 2022, that wasn't the case.There was still a ton of food and water because most poeple had died from the virus, and the giant Costco's and Wal-Mart's and BJ's and Sam's clubs were still filled with miles of unperishables and dams full of unopened water bottles. We considered this the one consulation prize for being a capitalist society. The need to consume may have be...

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Dating at the End of the World

Submitted to Contest #60

I’ll be honest—the dating game’s gone downhill since the end of the world.And it’s not like it wasn’t already tough for someone like me. Average-looking guy with an online gaming addiction and mild paranoia issues? It all worked out great when the world went to hell—I was hunkered down in my apartment, surrounded by canned food, long before the disease spread.Finding a girl, though? Give me another apocalypse.I’d tried the whole online dating thing, too, where ‘someone finds love every 14 minutes.’ Yeah, right. If that were the truth, I woul...

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The ‘journaaaaleastttt’ from Marari shoreline

Submitted to Contest #59

Maria mopped the floors of the verandah of the white-painted house that stood elite in the backyard of Marari beach, near Alappuzha. “Aren’t you ashamed to accept the fact that your wife is the breadwinner of your family?” Mr. Varkey sarcastically laughed aloud as he spoke to some of his old friends who had called him this afternoon. He puffed a tint of heavy smoke that he inhaled as he continued his mockery against female employment. The so-called-typical Indian household loose talks continued over both ends of the telephone.Maria...

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For a Moment

Submitted to Contest #59

The sun was shining on the waves, making them sparkle like a multitude of sapphires. The seabirds were flying back and forth as if chasing the waves as they roll in and out. The sand seemed to have speckles of diamonds from the reflection of the sun. Footprints had been made on the sand by a couple and their Irish water spaniel, Bentley.            Alex and Chris were walking side by side with their dog along the beach. They had moved to Jupiter, Florida and Chris was loving it. He ...

8 likes 1 comment 1
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The Fig Tree

Submitted to Contest #59

Beyond the tips of outstretched fingers, a beautiful ripe fig twisted in the breeze.Andrea’s foot began to numb as he wedged it deeper between the trunk and the cliff. He had nothing lose; he told himself. There was no other time this could ever be done, therefore climbing back up empty handed was not an option.           ‘Andrea! Just give up already!’           ‘Everyone knows Lolo is the only one who can bring one up,’ a shower of...

19 likes 4 comments 4
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Cyrus's Trip to a Strange London

Submitted to Contest #59

Cyrus Darkmore came to London to find her and this small man keeps telling him something about a stupid number.“Sir, if you want to contact her, I need a number" he explains, holding a newspaper dated from yesterday, May 1st, 2000.“How dare you speak of her like she’s just a number? She has a name, Sierra.” Anger shows in his tone, but he pronounces “Sierra” as if the name reminds him of both sorrow and love. The man behind the counter looks startled.“I’m sorry sir, but I need more than a name. And I meant her telephone number.”“I don’t have...

58 likes 47 comments 47
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The Black Sheep

Submitted to Contest #59

                            THE BLACK SHEEP  The sun was getting hotter by the day. Children and women had gone back to their houses, men were now resting after working on the farm in the morning.  It was summer, everywhere was dry, dust filled the air, one could hear the dry leaves rolling around making noise and when matched, they make noise just like that of a frog He came back home tired as...

7 likes 3 comments 3
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#128

Submitted to Contest #60

“Diary of a Survivor” Location: Former United States of America (abbr., U.S.A.) Archives: September 2432 The following is a transcription of a diary entry from survivor #128. It is one of few archival materials recovered from the Great End era. Discovered by Dr. Owen Matherson, Archaeologist [Specialty: Documentation of the Great End], University of the United Hemispheres. CAUTION: PRIMARY SOURCE. AUTHORIZED USE ONLY. HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE. Dear Nobody, Let me tell you: post-apocalyptic Earth sucks. I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to...

26 likes 1 comment 1
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Where The Beast's Rule

Submitted to Contest #59

Where The Beasts Rule In the civilized city we call Toronto, with many areas of learning and culture, there is a building on Sherbourne St. It is a large 31/2 storey brick structure of no special design but a dark purpose. It is there you will find the real animals of the city. The beasts of addiction, thievery, and laziness. Where the keepers are controlled by the dealers. Where only rules of convenience exist. Let’s take a tour shall we.    At the north corner of the building is a gate where you are buzzed in to get to t...

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Route None

Submitted to Contest #60

Gerald Finch was waiting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on America’s latest 20-lane superhighway, Route None. The massive road stretched from upstate New York where it met Canada’s equivalent to southern Texas and a wide dirt path that continued from there southwards. There were no tolls nor speed limits on Route None-- after all, nobody wanted to be there, not when the sun came out.  He surveyed those stuck with him from the relative comfort of his vehicle. Gerald had to crane his head around the giant chromed blower sticking through h...

12 likes 1 comment 1
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Always Tip the Taxi Driver

Submitted to Contest #59

Twelve seconds. That was all it took, and he shrank back inside the taxi with all the grace of a drowned rat and cheeks as ruddy as a spanked bottom. “Jesus Christ!” He gasped, slamming the door with fervent finality. His patent leather loafers squeaked and squelched as they rubbed against the mat, where a small pond was already accumulating, complete with leftovers of the local wildlife that had hitched a ride on his heels. “It’s pissing the polar icecaps out there! Where are we? The universe’s backstreet urinal?” “The scenic side of it, ...

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The Other

Submitted to Contest #59

A gunshot reverberates from the next room over. Aside from an involuntary wince at the sharpness of the sound, the two scientists pore over their results once more. “It’s certain,” says the one, “the data can’t be interpreted another way.” He walks despondently into the adjacent room and soon after another shot rings out. The other, alone under the sickeningly bright fluorescent light, rejects his findings. Revolt wells up in him making every limb come alive with a humming, throbbing power. This is his burden.  Thick, salty sweat bead...

5 likes 1 comment 1
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The Crier’s White Handkerchief

Submitted to Contest #59

Crestwood sits one cracked blacktop road away from the state route that connects the town to the six-lane freeway. Labeled a “sleepy town” by those in the big city, Dewayne considers the town a napping community with enough action to keep the locals lively, but enough quiet to take a nap on a hammock in the yard. The tavern on North Street holds an all you can eat fish fry and dollar beer steins once a month. And every Sunday, Crestwood’s population nearly doubles for three hours when the mega church holds their ten o’clock se...

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FINDING MUSE

Submitted to Contest #59

FINDING MUSE Bella barged into the house followed by Ethan with his hand full of luggage and wondering why in the god’s name he said yes to her for moving into the place like this which has no connectivity with the city life. A wise man once said “no one can understand women” well he is feeling it right now because he couldn't understand his writer wife's logic towards living in a place which is so close to nature that even his phone signals couldn't catch the city , don't know what will happen to his internet life. “Ethan…...Ethan…..E...

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Low-key Shun

Submitted to Contest #59

No one ever seeks to be alone. You know, that isn’t true, don’t know why I have to overexaggerate everything. Hyperbole would be the force by which would run my superpower, if I had super powers. I am not certain what I would want my super power to be. My go-to is to be invisible. Which, pretty much refutes my first sentence. So, forget that first sentence. If you could strike it from the record, like a court stenographer with a machete, or a particularly angry album purchaser…with a machete. Apparentl...

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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