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Looking for a steady supply of funny short stories? Every week thousands of writers submit stories to our writing contest.

8960+ Funny Short Stories to read

Submitted by writers on Reedsy Prompts to our weekly writing contest. The world can get dreary and overwhelming, so when you’re looking to have a good laugh, take a scroll through our free collection of funny short stories.

Funny Short Stories – Page 522 of 598

We're Done For

Submitted to Contest #60

My boyfriend’s shaky, scared breath jutted in short, quick puffs. “Yeah,” he panicked into the walkie-talkie, his eyes darting as they widened and then normalized under this flickering science laboratory. The lights dimmed and then brightened—no, it was too nerve-wracking. No, scary and brain-numbing. The only thing I could think of was to stare right at the chocolate haired, white-faced, slightly freckly guy in white Converse sneakers. Who was staring straight up at the thunder and lightning ruling the sky as they took turns crackling and b...

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Haven't Changed a Bit

Submitted to Contest #61

I stand in my front hall and inspect myself in the mirror. New little black dress, the first dress I've bought in decades since I'm a jeans-and-sweatshirt type? Check. New hair cut, so I could blow-dry my 'always in a ponytail' strands into something sleek and elegant that flows over my shoulders? Check. New dye job, to hide the grays and return me to my teenaged brunette? Check. New me? Sadly, no check. I'm all cleaned up on the outside, but inside? I haven't changed at all since high school. I still live in the house my grandmother lived i...

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Canned beans

Submitted to Contest #60

"This is not a test!" the robotic voice said through the TV. "The United States is under nuclear attack. You have exactly 15 minutes to find shelter. Fallout shelters will be open and you will be evacuated by local authorities. Every state is at risk" While almost all news channels were broadcasting the same thing, some of the privately-owned channels were having discussions between the hosts. A particular group of hosts was sitting on the couch. "Its fake news don't believe it." said one of the men "Even if it was, I still have my rights, I...

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N.U.R.S.E.R.Y

Submitted to Contest #60

The helicopter lands, blades slicing the air. The pilot turns the engine off, stepping out and setting the ramp. He salutes his passengers as they march down, crisp uniforms on their backs. Black sunglasses glint in the sun, reflecting the image of the cottage. Gloria wrinkles her nose at the smell of soggy sheep coming from the nearby stable. Sheep, Gloria thinks, such useless creatures. The only things they do are give scratchy wool and dung. She steps up to B. Osi, waiting for the signal. He was holding a BD (Baby Detector), and was scann...

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Sanctuary’s end

Submitted to Contest #60

Wilbur was having a pleasant apocalypse. The chickens were finally laying again, the roses were coming on nicely and- if anything- the neighbours had become much more reasonable since succumbing to their sudden penchant for brains. They were certainly quieter. He perused his record collection, looking for something suitably bombastic for a Friday evening. Wagner, maybe? Mahler? No, Beethoven. His fifth. A cliché choice, perhaps, but he didn't have to worry about snobs any more. It was famous for a reason and he was going to enjoy it at ful...

38 likes 13 comments 13
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Rules Of The Zombie Apocalypse

Submitted to Contest #60

"Shit! Run!" Taylor sprinted towards us, feet barely hitting the ground, spraying gravel behind him when they did. "Really? Because I thought we could just wait here for you, maybe sip some tea?" Grace turned to run, Taylor close behind. "Shut up, you stupid Brit," Taylor scowled and shot a glare at me, "I knew we should have left this little sheila were we found her." "Come on, you know you like me," a grin made its way to Grace's face as she sped up a little when Taylor came up beside her. "You guys fight too much," I breathed. Tay...

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Karmageddon

Submitted to Contest #60

In a final dramatic bid to eradicate Humanity, and the root cause of suffering, spam emails, flame wars over climate change, and endless Hollywood remakes plaguing the Universe, the Enemy command redirected its computer-generated intelligence to orchestrate an unprecedented three-pronged attack to wipe out Planet Earth. Combining top military strategies from Mars and Jupiter, with the best Area-51 conspiracy theories from 8chan to QAnon, these Alien forces unleashed the ultimate trilogy of destruction, as never before attempted on any theatr...

40 likes 11 comments 11
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Setting The Cruise Control To The Speed Of Social Cohesion

Submitted to Contest #61

It is only two days into the six week road trip and Toni is already having some reservations about her choice of co-pilot. She had the option of making this journey on her own, but she couldn't leave Ashlyn alone after the bitter divorce she had just been through. That is what best friends are for. Yet the obsessive nature of her companion has made the first thousand miles of their long journey a bit straining. "Seriously, Ashlyn, I love you - but if I hear any more eighties music I am probably going to lose my shit and drive us off a brid...

18 likes 7 comments 7
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AC-DC

Submitted to Contest #60

A lot of post-apocalyptic stories feature zombies. Often, however, the spread of zombie-ism isn’t selective; it can be transmitted to any human who is bitten or mauled by the infected ones. That is definitely scary, and we fear becoming one of those filthy undead at any moment. However, there are different situations that are post-apocalyptic and you are about to read about one of them right now. In this post-apocalypse, it is the politicians in Washington, D.C. who are zombies, nobody else. These individuals spend their careers devouring ...

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Logan and the Zombie Killers

Submitted to Contest #60

     Logan and the Zombie Killers Logan ran as fast as he could without looking over his shoulder. The fence was maybe five hundred feet away. He could hear them and feel their disease and vacant stares. They were supposed to be slow, but these zombies had adjusted their speed and were moving too quickly. His plan was simple: he was going to hop the fence, something the zombies weren’t able to do and then go from there. It would have worked out perfectly except for the two hun...

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I Don't Believe Dinah, My Slippers Are Ruined

Submitted to Contest #60

“How droll,” I say to myself as I look out through the bay window before my desk, “More crumblies.” I’ve just been consulting the cards, more out of boredom than out of real curiosity, and I’ve drawn the Wish Card again — a confounding card to draw in this day and age. ‘One of the most positive cards in the deck,’ my witchy little tarot psalter reads, a gift from my mother who told me to guard it with my life, though she’d become a bit of a drama queen ever since the war had started. ‘Anything your heart desires shall be yours.’ Positiv...

5 likes 0 comments 0
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Aliens, Zombies and Climate Change, oh my!

Submitted to Contest #60

Dear Diary, 6/19/2019Hey, it’s Alana!For my 13th birthday, my parents presented me with this diary. Apparently, it isn’t any normal diary though, it’s a different kind of diary. I’m supposed to write here every single year, on my birthday, June 19th.My parents said it is supposed to help me “document my life” and see how things change throughout my lifetime. Got to go now, Mom and Dad are taking us out to a special birthday dinner and I don’t want to be late! Talk to you next year!Dear Diary, 6/19/2020The worst words in t...

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Resurrect the Forebears!

Submitted to Contest #60

“Aim it far from you – and from me.” “And press the big green button on the side?” “Slowly.” The Chronicler tried to keep the nervous edge from her voice. The new Searcher was diligent but overeager. His eyes danced. He handled Artefacts with youthful recklessness. In time they would teach him patience, one way or another. He held the box dutifully at arm’s length. He pointed what they’d agreed was the front at a pile of debris on the far side of the room. When he had turned to it, the Chronicler took a step back and held a hand in fro...

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The Baby Apocalypse

Submitted to Contest #60

                    written by Daisy Olivo Heller (10 years old) Hello, my name is spring.  Though everyone calls me DaDa.  Let me catch you up.  Right now It is the apocalypse, and I can't talk.  You see, I was born one week ago, and That's when the apocalypse started.  I’m sure you are wondering how it started. Well I’m going to tell you even if you are not wondering.  It all started yesterday when I was get...

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Date with Death

Submitted to Contest #60

Benjamin jerked awake and swung the heavy curtains aside. “Oh bugger…not again,” he groaned as the brightness of the midday sun spilt inside his tiny room. Pain blossomed in his temples and he closed the drapes again before collapsing into the pillow. I really need to stop testing those potions on myself. Wiggling his lanky legs from under the duvet he sat on the bed. Nausea assaulted him without warning. Grabbing the bedpan, and thanking the fates it was clean, he emptied the contents of his stomach into it. Twice. It is not going to be a...

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RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

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