while yes this is a part to my demi-god series it isn't part 4 to the crossover this is just a little thing until Kate can make her part, i finally managed to think of what else to do, so i hope you all enjoy this.
Three Demi-Gods were walking through the forest, they didn't really like staying in the camp that often. They had heard new demi-god's arrived and decided to stay away a bit longer.
There was the daughter of Ate, Alexis. The son of Hypnos, Hayes. last but not least there was the daughter of Hebe, Hollie. They all usually stayed out of the camp for a few hours.
"What's the point of even staying at the camp? None of us are really that important, i say we head home." Alexis had to almost yell this because, well, Hayes was floating way above them in the sky.
"Go home to who? You know what happened and our godly parent's don't even care about us. I say we're better by staying in the woods." Hollie told the two.
Hayes sighs as he looked up at the sky, it was getting quite dark and he could see some faint sparkling stars up there. He floated down and suggested, "Well...why don't we sleep right here for tonight?" he wished he could go to his cabin.
They all lay against a tree with Hayes laying on a few heavy tree-branches. "Tomorrow will we head back to the camp? they might start to worry for us.." Hayes asked.
Neither of the two said anything at first, so he assumed that they were ignoring him. "Fine...be like-" He heard faint snoring, looks like they fell asleep quite quickly.
Hayes mumbled something to himself as he looked up into the sky looking into the stars. It didn't take that long before Hayes himself fell asleep.
"huh...? where am i..?" Hayes seemed to be somewhere in the camp, but he was never at the camp that much to even remember. He could see a boy a bit older than him sitting on a bed though.
He didn't know anyone at the camp that well besides Alexis and Hollie, though he remembers the name being Arren. He had heard about how Some other's like Arren went to the underworld to save a friend.
Alexis had told the two of them on how a few of them got to meet their parent's not to long ago. Lucky. "Come on dad! am i not good enough??" He heard Arren say.
Hayes watched in confusion until he noticed something on the boy's shoulders. There would be a certain symbol on everyone's shoulders on who their parent was. They'd always have it though, you wouldn't need to meet them. it was there from day one.
He noticed that on Arren's shoulder was a Lyre, that was the symbol of Apollo. He knew that most of the god's would never really want to meet their kid, Apollo was one of them.
It hadn't came to Hayes on what he had been doing, it just came to him now. "Wait...I'm in his dream! I've never been able to do that before!"
Hayes had gotten so excited that he had woke up and cheered, "WOO-HOO!" Alexis woke up and fell off of the tree, she must have gotten onto it while he was asleep.
"Hayes! what the heck was that about??" she asked in a whisper, she didn't want to wake Hollie up. How do you explain it?? They had SOME powers but nothing like this, this had been one of the main ones!
He had been trying to find a way to tell her, though before he could the two of them heard something like laughing. It was about 3 am but they didn't really care, so they went looking for it.
They leave Hollie behind though because she'd probably be really angry if she got woken up. Besides, the two of them would be gone for just a few minutes.
The two of them reach a big cave and Hayes decided to look inside and see what was going on. "That's...Hercules??" Alexis said in a shocked whisper.
They had first just thought it was Hercules in the cave by himself laughing at a joke he made, they were wrong. Monsters. They saw so Many Monsters.
There was a Cyclops, there were Zombies, there were Hydra's. So many Monsters. Too many to count. Alexis could have sworn she saw Medusa in the group as well.
"Holy Crap...did he capture all of those things??" Hayes asked Alexis in a whisper. She covered his mouth though as Hercules began to speak, she wanted to hear what was going on.
"Sir? Now that you have all of them...now what?" The Cyclops spoke up. Hercules had only one cyclops in the cave, he only needed one and that's it.
Hayes started to have a strange feeling in his stomach so he started to get away from the cave. Though on accident he hit his side on accident on the way out. He flinched as a few small rock's fell down.
Alexis began to back away while grabbing Hayes's hand, they thought that they had gotten away without being noticed. "Kids!" Medusa had spotted them.
Hercules' eyes widened as he turned around and saw the two of them, how long had they been there for? "Well, after them! don't let them get back to the camp, it's time!"
A few of the Zombie's stood up followed by one of the Hydra's started to get out of the cave. camp seems like a safe place to be right about now! Alexis thought as she began to run.
This wasn't that big of a deal, Hercules had already decided that now was the time to attack. If those kid's hadn't even shown up it would have been the same, though why not let some more be killed?
The Hydra and The Zombies began to chase the two of them to the camp, they could hear all the others such as Medusa beginning to go after them as well.
Hayes realized something while he and Alexis were running, though it was already too late. They had left the sleeping Hollie at the tree, she was going to die.
If we can get to the camp before those thing's get us though, everyone else will be able to survive and defeat those things! Alexis thought to herself.
Okay yes, this one story might be the worst out of them all, so just tell me what i need to edit or something. This also isn't part 4 this is just a little thing in between it, part 4 will be with Kate Ulrich. what did you think of these characters? While this is happening, the others had just gotten there to try and tell meg.
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146 comments
Great job! I can tell, from your first story to this one, that you are getting better at writing. And your description is also getting a lot better! And happy late birthday!!
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thank's ^^ i don't really think any descriptive things i do in a story aren't that good though. did you maybe have a favorite part to this? and thanks for that ^^
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Um, I liked the flashbacks! No problem.
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hey, i actually plan to make my demi-god series into a novel ^^ i'm not sure if i already told you though
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You didn't tell me but I saw you talk to Kylie about it. (And do you want to do an upvote for upvote thing on our comment threads? Like whenever you go to respond you upvote the comment before you and I do the same to you?)
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oh, well could you maybe still help me with it though? and sure i don't see why not ^^
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A bird named Zilla Babbit told me today was your birthday. Happy birthday!
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Aww thank's for that ^^
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Of course!
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:)
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Okay, I heard your B-day is today or tomorrow. HAPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY!
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My B-day is today ^^ and aww thank you, Zilla must have told you right?
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Noice! Yurp! HAPPPPPPPEH BIIIIIIIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUU *finishes happy birthday song because she doesn’t want to type it all*
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Thank ye :D While i didn't get CQ yet (it'll come soon i think) i did get a Greek Myth Book finally so that could help me with some things on my series and other things :)
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Yeah, CQ takes a looong time to arrive. And, warning, if turns out Amazon is really weird and CQ’s font is a bit small, if you don’t mind that. Ooh, cool! I LOVE Greek mythology. Noice!
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That's completely fine ^^ i've read some other stories with a bit of some small Fonts.
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Woooo! I upvoted you and now your points are 2020! DIS YEEEEAR
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thanks ^^
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Sorry it took me a long time to comment! I read it then I realized I forgot to comment but here I am. Anyway another great story! Your detail is always on point and I am so jealous!! I do wish this story was a bit longer though, I just love your writing and want to read more. But besides that you did an amazing job!!👏 P.S. I didn't think this story was bad, it was actually really good!!!!!
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No problem it's completely alright ^^ you think i did a lot of details? it feels like i should have been more descriptive or something but i wasn't. What did you think of these new characters?
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I loved there personalities, and at points I do agree there could have been. bit more detail but only in little places.
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alright ^^
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I am sorry, but I cannot read a story witha lot of punctuation and spelling mistakes. I understand we are learning, but we need to use apostrophes, capital letters, and other features of the written language properly. Please study the use of apostrophes - they are NEVER used for plurals. It is disrespectful to the writing craft to be unconcerned about form.
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I know that i'm terrible at this stuff and i'm sorry. I've been trying to improve with it but i guess i really haven't. I'm also trying to use Grammarly or something else that could help me but i'm not sure if that's gonna even help me. I don't mean to be Disrespectful or anything.
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Upvoted :)
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aww thanks ^^
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You're welcome! <3
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hey i made a new story ^^ could ya check out "Betrayed" and give some feedback?
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Hi, B.! So, first off, you have definitely been improving since the first story I have read of yours. Your description is definitely getting better, and there really aren't that many grammar mistakes anymore. Just a few minors things here and there, such as capitalizing words that don't need to be capitalized. Overall, the plot, characters, and description was amazing! Great job! -Brooke D. <3
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Thank's, i'm glad that you still liked it ^^ did ya have a favorite part?
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Probably when Hollie fell out of the tree. It added that touch of comic relief that a story like this needs.
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there's still one more thing ya gotta check out
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I know. I have been VERY busy and haven't gotten a chance to read them yet.
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You are definitely getting better at editing and adding descriptive details! This was imaginative and enjoyable like your other stories and the writing itself has improved a lot. I read some of the other comments and realized I missed your birthday, so sorry, happy belated birthday!!!
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Thank you i'm glad that you enjoyed the story ^^ i don't really see how i'm getting better at being descriptive though. and no worries, i understand that your kinda really busy now but thank you anyway for that :)
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Dear B.W. Thank you for speaking up against the downvoter. It has helped me gain confidence.
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huh? do you mean when i commented on her thing or do you mean the thing in my Bio? and aww i'm glad i helped with that ^^
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Everything you mentioned. I noticed that both of us got downvoted terribly, and I have been going around increasing votes of those who got downvoted in at least one story of theirs.
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Aw, i think i'll go and up-vote ya as well ^^ i'm glad i gave you that but i'm also kinda surprised by that. I just don't like the down-voter at all tbh so i decided to do it since they were doing it to some good friend's and really just a ton of people. She even made Brooke leave
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Yeah... I just saw her bio. I thanked her as well. I just hope she returns soon :)
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I still have a big feeling that Mia IS the down-voter even though she said she was lying, either way what she did to Brooke was Terrible. What Mia said in her Bio is kind of half and half with me and i don't understand why she'd do any of it
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I really love the element of the story where Hayes is in Arren's dream. I also love this series because I am a Greek God nerd. If you've ever heard of Lore Olympus on Webtoon, I highly suggest it. It might help with some of your stories.
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hmm maybe i will ^^ yesterday was my B-day so i actually got a greek Myth Book as well. what did you think of these new 3 characters?
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I heard! I posted a birthday comment! Happy birthday and I loved the new characters! Hayes is my favorite!
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what do ya think will happen in the next part?
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Hmmm. I'm honestly not sure with this one.
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hmm, could ya actually help with something again? i wanna turn my demi-god series into a novel
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Happy Birthday B.W !!!! Netflix and chill !! ;)
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Awww thank you so much ^^
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:D
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Who told ya? was it Zilla?
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Aerin!
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aww :)
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Simply beautiful! Kindly read mine and give your feedback. https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/60/submissions/35763/ Hoping to collaborate with you.
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Thank you ^^ and sure i will
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Someone told me it was your birthday yesterday~ No one told me- I totally didn't read the comments HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY B.W.!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU Your weird writer friend, Maanha
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Awww, thank you so much for that ^^
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No problem! Have an amazing birthday Well... AFTER-birthday
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Don't worry, i did ^^ i got mostly some books (some being Greek Myth Books) and a few games, along with some things to help me right, so i think both my birthday and this day were good ^^
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That's super cool!
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Yep ^^ wait, have ya maybe seen my demi-god series?
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Wait!!!! Today is your BIRTHDAY!!! Oh my gosh!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! HAVE A FLAMINGISH DAY!!!!! YAYYYYYY
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No no the 22nd/yesterday was my Birthday though thank you ^^
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This was a cool story, I loved the way tension was built and how everything felt really immediate. The characters were also interesting. I like the voice you use throughout. Well done. Amazing work!
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Thank you i'm glad you enjoyed it ^^ did you have a favorite out of the three and a favorite part?
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The end part was definitely my favourite, and I think I like Hayes the best.
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alright ^^
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You're getting a lot better B! Awesome job! Though I think I really need to catch up on my greek myth knowledge, I miss a lot of things in your little series because of it... It was cool how he sorta developed his powers. Great story!
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Thank's i'm glad you liked it ^^ what are some of the thing's you don't understand or something? i could tell ya ^^
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Just, like, the minor gods and creatures and stuff. AND OH MY GOD YOUR CELEB BDAY TWIN IS TOM FELTON
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Wait with the Minor god's do you want me to tell you what they are the god/goddess of then?
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Hm ok if it'll help me understand the stories!! :D
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Hebe is a very minor god and is the goddess of Youth, Ate is the goddess of Mischief there's a few other things but that is the main one, Hypnos is the god of sleep, he can go visit people in dreams
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That was very good!
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Thanks ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part?
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The few paragraphs
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okay ^^ what did you think of these new characters?
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Their pretty coo- wait! I mean AWESOME!
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hm, thank's i'm glad you liked them ^^ what do you think will happen in the next part?
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Nice. I like the new characters and the new stuff with Hercules. Can't wait for the new prompts so I can get started on the next part!
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thanks i'm glad you liked it ^^ what did you think of these three new characters?
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They were interesting. I like how you used the children of minor characters, and their bitter feelings toward the gods made a lot of sense.
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Its a bit worse than how Arren feel's about Apollo not coming because a lot of reasons and their parents wont EVER show while Apollo WILL at some point
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Okay, you asked me to read, so here I am. Again, I just love the interest you have in Greek mythology. Some of it might be Rick Riordan, but still! I haven't gone back and reread your older stories to compare but I can tell you've gotten better. Two things to help improve: Grammar. You'd think this is a minor thing but it's HUGE in regards to reader enjoyment and understanding. Capitalization, commas, punctuation, prepositions... if you're still learning grammar in school or not very strong, try Grammarly. The basic version is free. Seco...
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Well i was Inspired by Rick Riordan but i try not to copy him with things and i've always loved Greek Mythology, since Today is My birthday i actually just got a book with some Myths for it ^^ Also, thank you for the little advice right there, why is Alexis your favorite and what do you think of the three in general?
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLLLL
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awww thank you ^^
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last but not least there was the daughter of Hebe, Hollie. - capitalize last that important, i say we- cap I Alexis had to almost yell this because, well, Hayes- inserting "well" here just drags at the flow of the story. Hayes sighs as he looked up at the sky, it was getting quite dark and he could see some faint sparkling stars up there. -sighed, and make it a second sentence after at the sky. Sighs is present, looked is past, was getting and could see are "past participle" forms. Having some short sentences changes the flow and...
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Alright thank you for the advice with it ^^ i'll also go and edit some of that stuff real soon :) i'm just glad i was able to make a story with this weeks prompts tbh
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