199 comments

Fantasy Christian Fiction

This story is dedicated to Jay Dmer!! Thank you so much for giving me the incredible idea of the character Judas Lee Camaleo!!! Link to her page: 

https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/jay-dmer/


***


Ding.

A notification popped on my phone from a social media app. Oh, jeez. Not another hater.

I read the comment. 

Why do you even believe in God?” The comment read. “He’s never given you proof that he exists. Or that Jesus exists. You’re just reading a thick book with useless information, and you call that a religion.

I shook my head. I should ignore this, but it was  something I needed to address. 

God has given us plenty of proof that He and Jesus exist. The Bible is filled with them. Believe in Him, and you can have eternal life.

Ding. 

Another hate comment. 

Ding. 

And another one. 

I groaned, turning off my phone. I took off my black glasses and wiped off the dust, imagining I was wiping off all of my online problems with it. If only it was that simple to erase the hate. 

I had always received hate for my beliefs. But lately, they’re getting worse. People are attacking me just for spreading the Gospel on social media. I didn’t like that. 

If you don’t like what I post, it was just as simple as blocking me or just ignoring the post! Why was hate so necessary? I felt like I was all alone in a society of hate. 

I needed something to distract myself. I put my glasses back on and scrolled through the apps on my phone. 

Corona Dating”.

Sure. why not? Go on a social media app, one designed for romance, no less, even after you were annoyed with people on social media. Sounds just about right.

Even though I had my doubts, I clicked on it anyway. I laughed as I scrolled through my profile. I have had this app ever since I was sixteen. There was some strange content I posted. Was that only three years ago?

I spent the next hour updating my profile. It felt good to do something on social media that didn’t involve me getting attacked for my opinions. 


***


Before I knew it, I was clicking the “Done” button to the quiz on this cursed app that supposedly tells me who my soulmate is. It was way too easy to get addicted to this.

“Your one true pairing is. . .” I muted the volume on my phone as the app played a long and very unnecessary drumroll. “David Cambron!!!”

Time to give this David Cambron a shot. My finger hovered over my phone. 

Was it even worth it?

For years now, I’ve been searching for the one. All I wanted was one perfect guy that I could fall in love with. One perfect guy I could have a life with.

Even if life these days was normal, that would be impossible to find. 

But of course, COVID-19 had to slap itself into our lives and force everything to be online. I couldn’t even go outside without wearing a face covering. How was I supposed to find the perfect guy if I couldn’t even see them in real life?

Perhaps I was being too much of a pessimist. It was just one date with one guy. And it wasn’t like if I looked at his profile, I would go to hell or get attacked by butterflies or anything else scary. You never know what might happen. You never know what good things can happen if you don’t try.

“You never know.” I repeated. “This might be good for me for reasons I don’t know yet. Let’s give this a shot.”

I clicked on David’s profile. 

My eyes first wandered over to his profile picture. It wasn’t anything special. Just a picture in red lighting of a clean-shaven guy, maybe twenty, with spiky brown hair that seemed to be that way without any gel. His eyes were so dark they could’ve been black. They looked creepy and unnerving, like your typical traumatized horror character. 

I stared at the picture for a while. Not doing anything else. Just looking at his face. I felt drawn to him. This guy. David Cambron. The name repeated itself in my head like a chant. I liked the name. He was named after the second king of the Jews. 

I shook my head, dazed, and forced my eyes off of my phone. I was being ridiculous. How could I feel drawn to a guy that I knew about only a few minutes ago? Who I didn’t even talk to? Who I knew nothing about? Not to mention that this person was a random guy I found online! He could be a scammer or a murderer for all I knew!

Despite all of my thoughts, my body betrayed me.

I clicked the button.

“Request for a date online”.

I searched the screen for a “cancel” button. Nothing. I groaned, burying my hands in my face.

Great. Just great. 


***


   A few minutes later, a notification from the app “Corona Dating” popped up on my screen.

Congratulations!” It read. “David Cambron has accepted your invitation to an online date! He suggests Thursday, eight p.m. what is your response?” 

I read over the options.

Okay! Let’s do it!

No.

That time doesn’t work for me.

Also no.

Sorry! Sending you that request was a mistake.

Surprisingly, that wasn’t it either.

I searched the screen, but I found no, “I think you’re kind of hot but I’m getting bad vibes from you so I don’t know” button. How inconsiderate of the app.

I sighed and clicked the “Okay! Let’s do it!” button. Might as well try, right?

I felt a voice in my head pestering me.

That was a terrible mistake,” the voice murmured. “He will discover who you are. His master doesn’t like your kind. So he will destroy you.

I had no idea what to think about that. It sounded awfully like I was hallucinating. After all, I hadn’t slept for two days. 

I decided to ignore the voice. Besides, it was just one date. It was hard to imagine that much would happen.


***


Three days later

I clicked on the link and went into the online meeting. David was already there. 

He didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything. We sat in uncomfortable silence, staring at the wall, outside the window, at each other. 

After a while, David cleared his throat. 

“Hi. I’m David Cambron. Nice to meet you.”

I nodded slightly.

“I’m--"

I stopped myself. I got the feeling that saying my name wouldn't be wise. That seemed ridiculous, especially because this guy already knew my name from my profile.

"Likewise.” 

David nodded, looking distracted.

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. This was already the most boring and awkward date I've ever been on.

"Do you have any idea what to do on these 'online dates'?" David asked, putting the last two words in air quotes. "It's not like you can eat dinner together or hold hands or anything."

I giggled, sounding like a little girl all over again.

"I honestly have no idea what I'm doing, either."

David laughed. I liked his laugh, just like how I liked his smile, his hair, the way his eyes shined, the--

Jeez. I was obsessed with this boy!

I didn't know what to think of that. He seemed like an okay dude, but something about him threw me off. Like he was dangerous, or even my enemy.

I played with my long black hair, curling it around my fingers. As if it needed more curling. My hair was curlier than Festoni pasta.

David seemed to notice me playing with my hair.

"You have beautiful hair," he commented.

I nodded in appreciation.

"Thank you."

More silence. The awkwardness was so thick that you couldn't even use the sword of the Spirit to cut through it.

I noticed the book on his desk, and I smiled. Finally, there was something to talk about.

"You read 'Gone with the Wind'?"

David's dark eyes brightened. I liked his eyes even better when they brightened.

"Of course I did! It's one of my favorite books. Do you like it, too?"

I grinned, sure that my eyes were brightening just like his.

"Like it? I love it! The--"

David was staring at me in shock, like I had told him that I had seen heaven before. I didn't think it was that shocking that I liked 'Gone with the Wind‘. Wasn't it a popular book?

But that wasn't what had seemed to surprise David.

“Your eyes shined gold. A per quod angelus tetigit. . . Right in front of me. I can’t believe it.”

He stood suddenly, and started pacing back and forth.

I frowned,

“What—“

“My search could end today,” David continued, ignoring me. “I can fulfill my destiny.”

I slammed my hands on the table.

“Can you stop talking vaguely for a minute and tell me what you’re talking about? What did you call me? What is your search? How will your destiny be fulfilled just because I told you I liked 'Gone with the Wind‘?”

David looked at me, mid-pace, looking surprised. 

“You don’t know? How could you not?”

I sighed.

“Because--”

David held up his hand.

“Never mind. It’s not important. I have to find you. Can you tell me your location?”

I rolled my eyes in disgust.

“Do you think I’ll seriously just tell a hot stranger my location after a few minutes of talking to him?”

David smiled at me. His gaze was hypnotizing. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.

“That’s exactly what I think.”

His words washed over me, more powerful than a tidal wave. I wanted to give him my location. It seemed reasonable. What could go wrong?

The same voice from a few days ago whispered,

Much could go wrong. It is unwise to give your location to anyone online, especially people like him.

That voice was enough to jolt me back to reality.

“No.” I managed. “I’m not giving you my location.”

David raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not every day I get refused. You must be very powerful. That makes it even better, Judas. My master would be pleased with you.”

I felt like banging my head on the table. 

“Can you tell me what you’re talking about?”

David smiled again. He had a nice smile.

“Close your eyes.”

The voice in my head tried to fight back against his words. But it was too late. David’s words spread through my body like an infection and closed my eyes shut.


***


My vision was on a yard of grass behind a church, with a garden to my left. I heard the wind and birds whistling in the trees in harmony. Sitting a few feet away from me was a young boy, maybe twelve, with spiky brown hair. He seemed to be crying, and his sobs carried away in the wind.

My vision zoomed to the right, and I got a look of the boy’s face. I sucked in a breath.

This boy looked exactly like a younger version of David, just without the almost black eyes and brood expression.  

A man with pure black skin materialized in front of what I assumed was young David. How did that man do that? He placed a hand on David’s shoulder.

”David,” he said soothingly. “Look at me.”

David looked at the man through his tears.

“I know what you feel,” The man’s face was a mask of sympathy. “Believe me, I do. You believe that God isn’t righteous and merciful. That He isn’t the all-mighty Father that people think he is.”

David nodded. 

The man smiled.

“Do you know of the humans that are touched by an angel?”

David shook his head.

“No. What are they?”

The man laughed. I didn’t like how his laugh sounded. It sounded harsh and cold, like that laugh could still be uttered while millions of innocent people died in front of him. 

“Oh, you’re about to be acquainted with them soon. They’re exactly what they sound like. They’re human, just like you. But they’ve been touched by an angel at birth, which does not make them sinless, but it makes them eternally bound to Christ. Their faith is unbreakable. Even stronger than the most resilient of normal humans. If they were touched by the archangel Michael, the angels will give them their wisdom in their head from time to time. They spread the Gospel whenever they can. They have good hearts, and they are hard for my master to manipulate. They don’t seem that different from normal humans, but they’re incredibly dangerous.  

“When you pledge your loyalty, you will see if a person was touched by an angel if their eyes shine gold when they are extremely happy. Always watch out for that.”

David frowned slightly.

“And you’re telling me this because. . .”

“You’re a smart one. You can figure this out.” The man assured David.

David’s frown deepened, and he seemed to be in deep thought. 

“I’m supposed to hunt them.”

I had no idea how he’d figured that out, but the man smiled again.

“That’s right. Swear your loyalty to me and Lucifer.”

Lucifer. The name sent shivers down my back. The name of Satan. The devil that plagues the minds of every human, convincing them to sin on the daily. Surely the man didn’t mean that Lucifer.

David knelt.

“I pledge my loyalty to the works of Satan. I vow that I will spend the rest of my life hunting those who have been touched by angels. I serve you.”

Those words sent a chill through the air, lowering the temperature by about ten degrees. The birds stopped chirping, and the wind stopped howling. Everything was completely eerie. Silent. 

“Rise,” the man commanded.

David stood. He no longer looked like the twelve year old boy who had been crying only moments ago. He looked stronger and more powerful. A loyal but distant hunter who will do anything to succeed.

The man reached out his left hand and squeezed the skin on David’s forehead. After a moment, the man released David from his touch, and as he did, a white liquid followed the man’s hand.

“You have been touched by an angel,” the man said disapprovingly. “I will cleanse you of your impurity.”

The white liquid turned black and floated back into David’s forehead.

David’s eyes turned black, and so did my vision.


***


I blinked, and I was back in my room, having an online date with a guy who served the devil.

I was frozen in shock. I had been touched by an angel. David hunted for people like me and served Satan. It was too much to take in all at once. I had too many questions and too little answers. 

“You serve Satan?” I couldn’t help it. My words just burst out. “Why would you serve him just because you don’t like God? Why--”

I then realized I was talking to no one. David was gone from the screen.  

“David?”  

Knives embedded my shirt into the wall, keeping me from moving.

“You make it too easy,” A guy stood at my door. It was hard to tell who he was because of the mask, but that voice was definitely David’s. I gasped. How did David find me? I never gave him my location. “Despite your surprising power, you’re helpless.” David smirked. “You can’t fight back. You’re coming with me to hell.”

February 13, 2021 20:21

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

199 comments

20:33 Feb 13, 2021

Some notes for this story: - Thanks again, Jay Dmer!! - I find it hilarious that this story has almost nothing to do with romance, besides for the "online date" part XD - So Satan, angels, God, and Jesus are not my ideas (obviously), but the idea of angels touching humans and the humans that hunt down the humans touched by angels are all my ideas. - there is a Latin phrase in here, so lemme clear it up for those who might not understand Latin (don't use Google Translate to translate it, because it's going to give you a slightly different tr...

Reply

20:33 Feb 13, 2021

I'm legit surprised I didn't use ANY emojis and I only used two faces in this comment.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Jay DMer
15:34 Feb 17, 2021

Np:)... I'm also a girl lol, sorry didn't mention that before.

Reply

15:47 Feb 17, 2021

thanks for telling me!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Radhika Diksha
05:36 Feb 17, 2021

The story was shocking to me. My god! Your writing was incredible, it was amazing. The last part made my head spin. I am speechless. You really worked great on the plotline and I loved it. Great work. keep writing.

Reply

13:59 Feb 17, 2021

thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Amany Sayed
02:24 Feb 16, 2021

“I think you’re kind of hot but I’m getting bad vibes from you so I don’t know” I thought this was SO funny. Ok- Finally here to give you some feedback! Your writing is so engaging! Seriously, at one point I just found myself squinting at the screen like I was going to miss something. For critique: One thing, at least on Reedsy, it isn't necessary to indent your paragraphs. Mainly for the aesthetic lol but it's just jarring for the eyes. You also lack detail in some parts. Like the voice in her head was a little random. Other feedback: It ca...

Reply

03:09 Feb 16, 2021

ok that's good to know that I don't have to indent lol 😂😅 Yes the voice in her head does seem like quite a plot hole. I agree. I should have explained that was one of the "touched by an angel" powers. My bad. 😑 Yes, I find it VERY hard to write about religion. I have to make sure not to offend anyone (either Christian or non-Christian), I also have to make sure not to offend the religion, and all in all, it's very complicated. That's why I like writing about it 😁 And I'm hoping I can write a part 2, too. But it might take a while. (Reedsy ha...

Reply

Amany Sayed
03:31 Feb 16, 2021

Yeah lol. (:D)

Reply

03:34 Feb 16, 2021

:)))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Praise Abraham
11:59 Feb 21, 2021

Right now I'm like 😱😱😱😭😭😭😰😰😰 I totally loved this story.💖 I'm also a Christian writer into supernatural stories. The angels and devil part totally got me. But it's kinda queer for a 'David' to be Lucifer's servant. Anyway, good job. Keep writing for God's glory. ✍️ And oh! Lest I forget 🤠 😉😉😉

Reply

13:06 Feb 21, 2021

Thank you! I loved your Christian supernatural stories, but I'm 99% sure I didn't leave comments on it. I'll try to leave more specific feedback on it soon! Yeah, that's why I picked the name "David". It's the irony. He was originally touched by an angel, but he chose to reject that and work for Lucifer instead. Thanks again! 😁😁

Reply

Praise Abraham
08:28 Feb 22, 2021

Oh! I see. Too bad for David then. God bless you. I enjoyed reading it. 😁🥰

Reply

12:35 Feb 22, 2021

God bless you, too. Thank you.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Jay DMer
15:30 Feb 17, 2021

I'm breathless. I couldn't help but smile through the whole story. I liked the details that I gave planted at random locations. I loved how you changed this idea and made it your own. I loved this story, it was interesting and really good. I'll love to collab again. Honestly, I felt like you could've written this all without my character. You made it your own, this was a good read. Thanks Minor error: "You read 'Gone with the Wind'?"..."Of course I do! It's one of my favorite books. Do you like it, too?" Instead of I do it's I did.

Reply

15:47 Feb 17, 2021

Thx for pointing that out! I'll fix that error. Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked this story! And honestly, I don't think I would've gotten this story idea without your character. In your form, you had written, "Between her nationality and her religion she feels more than a person. Like an disguised angel living in a society full with hate", which just triggered the idea of humans touched by angels.

Reply

Jay DMer
16:03 Feb 17, 2021

Wow, you really did dig deep on it all. I'm so very proud of this story. Idk how many times I'm going to say I like it, lol. But np. You did great:)

Reply

16:45 Feb 17, 2021

ty :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Adoree Myou
06:55 Feb 17, 2021

🤠 “You can’t fight back. You’re coming with me to hell.” wow. nice story

Reply

13:59 Feb 17, 2021

thank you!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Radhika Diksha
05:36 Feb 17, 2021

By the way, even I would love your feedback on my story.

Reply

14:00 Feb 17, 2021

I'll make sure to give you some feedback soon!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
20:25 Feb 16, 2021

Wow. This is a work of art.

Reply

22:09 Feb 16, 2021

Thank you! Anything you particularly liked or disliked about this story?

Reply

19:01 Feb 17, 2021

The but about the "hot but bad vibes" button.

Reply

01:42 Feb 18, 2021

lol XD

Reply

16:48 Feb 18, 2021

I won't do on line dating because he might be a devil dude with creepy eyes and no button LOL

Reply

17:21 Feb 18, 2021

ahahaha

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Danny -
09:09 Feb 16, 2021

GASPPPPPP I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!!!!!!! OHMIGSOSHHHH, I- you played me :'( lol Your writing is sooooo immersing, the ending hit me like a thousand bricks. OhMIgOsHHHHHH, pls dont let her die.. omgggg i swear, you write soooooo well, it's amazing! lolool a bunch of lines I loved from the story which made me clueless to the fact that THIS DAVIIIIIIIID was an ugly....umm, something..human-ish? - I searched the screen, but I found no, “I think you’re kind of hot but I’m getting bad vibes from you so I don’t know” button. How inconsiderate ...

Reply

13:19 Feb 16, 2021

Honestly, about the whole "don't let her die" ummmmmm *cough* I will be making a part 2! I'm just waiting around for the right prompt. And tysmm!

Reply

Danny -
00:04 Feb 17, 2021

GasppppPPp... Ohmigosh evil angel-ish people are going to come eat her?!?!??! GASP GASP GASP GASPPPPPP Ohh, can't wait until it comes out! Of course :))

Reply

00:06 Feb 17, 2021

cannibalism??? InTeReStInG tHeOrY.....

Reply

Danny -
00:08 Feb 17, 2021

gAsP, ask bill....it's omigoshshshhshdhhdhdh if that's going to happen, then I CAN'T really wait for it to come outttttt.....lololllol preparing myself for anything surprising that might happen later onto the story XDD

Reply

00:15 Feb 17, 2021

lollllllll XD

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Nainika Gupta
12:52 Feb 14, 2021

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so good, really - 'twas mazing!

Reply

13:05 Feb 14, 2021

thank youuuuuuuuuu!!!

Reply

Nainika Gupta
13:16 Feb 14, 2021

:)))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
13:05 Feb 14, 2021

what did you like about it??

Reply

Nainika Gupta
13:17 Feb 14, 2021

I loved the modernization of the plot - how the dating app worked, as well as what daniel REALLY was XD and, I loved that inner voice of hers...really made her more relatable as well as funny!!

Reply

13:46 Feb 14, 2021

*David tysmmmmmm!!

Reply

Nainika Gupta
13:50 Feb 14, 2021

AHH sorry i have a daniel at home and he was talking to me loll XD no problem!!

Reply

13:54 Feb 14, 2021

XDDD :)))))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Zoey Hailey
04:40 Mar 04, 2021

This story is so well written and the ending honestly caught me off guard! As a Christian myself, I really enjoyed reading this story and thought it had kind of a creative spin on it that I really liked. It doesn't look like there is anything that I need to correct you on, since you're such an incredible author! I've skimmed through some of your other stories (which I plan to read next) and I love how your stories always end on a cliffhanger that just leaves your readers hanging. Honestly, cliffhangers are probably my favorite conclusions t...

Reply

Zoey Hailey
04:42 Mar 04, 2021

Oh, and I almost forgot 🤠

Reply

12:35 Mar 04, 2021

Thank you! :) You're a Christian, too? Nice! :) Ahahaha I love writing cliffhangers a lot. The only bad thing about them is that I have half a dozen stories that I need to make a part 2 of 😅 Thanks again!

Reply

Zoey Hailey
14:57 Mar 04, 2021

No problem :) Yup, I'm a proud Christian:) Ahahaha that's my biggest problem with writing cliffhangers as well😅

Reply

15:12 Mar 04, 2021

Yeah :) Random question: have you watched Avatar?

Reply

Zoey Hailey
19:57 Mar 04, 2021

Yesss I love that show I haven't finished it tho

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Daniel R. Hayes
06:11 Feb 24, 2021

Incredible story, I loved it. I think you have a wonderful talent for storytelling :)

Reply

12:35 Feb 24, 2021

thank you! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Danny -
02:05 Feb 19, 2021

Hiiiiiiiii again! :DDD 𝖁𝖎𝕮𝖙𝖔𝕽𝖞 𝕴𝖘 𝕺𝖚𝕽𝖘! 𝕬𝖕𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖑𝖞 𝖎𝖙𝖘 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖆𝖞 𝖎𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖒 𝖕𝖆𝖘𝖘 𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖓. 𝕴 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝕸𝖆𝖞𝖆 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖙𝖍𝖞𝖘𝖙 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖑𝖚𝖓𝖆 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖘𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖐𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖏𝖆𝖉𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒 𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖑𝖉 lol XDDDD

Reply

02:15 Feb 19, 2021

lol I got the same message just a few minutes ago!

Reply

Danny -
02:30 Feb 19, 2021

Ohhh XDD nicee, from who?? :DD

Reply

02:35 Feb 19, 2021

Maya :)

Reply

Danny -
02:38 Feb 19, 2021

Oh nice XDD Excited for the new prompts? :DD

Reply

02:43 Feb 19, 2021

yessss but also nervous about finishing my story before the deadline T-T

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Julia Boddie
12:25 Feb 15, 2021

🤠

Reply

16:45 Feb 15, 2021

ty!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Coco Longstaff
06:27 Feb 15, 2021

Hey thx for doing my quiz!

Reply

13:13 Feb 15, 2021

np!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
23:08 Feb 14, 2021

Well, as an atheist, this story hit kind of different for me; I’ve always been connected to religious characters like this for some reason though. Idk, but your story really turned out good!

Reply

23:13 Feb 14, 2021

Thank you! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
22:42 Feb 14, 2021

lol 🤠 that story was so good

Reply

22:47 Feb 14, 2021

thank you!! What did you like about it?

Reply

23:04 Feb 14, 2021

it was thoughtfully plotted and the ending was very suspenseful

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Arwen Dove
21:16 Feb 14, 2021

🤠

Reply

21:16 Feb 14, 2021

tyyy!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Lilliane Wei
19:19 Feb 14, 2021

Hey, Annabelle. I thought this story was really thought out and had a great underlying story that was easy to follow. I especially like the modernization of the story, including COVID-19 and whatnot. It really helps me relate to that sense of isolation. As advice, I think maybe you could tweak the timing of the story a little because it moves a little unnaturally fast during he date. Other than that, I thought this was a different twist to the plot and it turned out really well, good job. -Lillian

Reply

22:06 Feb 14, 2021

Tysm!! And yeah, things do run fast during the date. That had been bugging me for a bit, but I was afraid that I would go past the word limit. I'll see what I can do with 739 (or less) words.

Reply

Show 0 replies
22:49 Feb 14, 2021

update: I just finished revising the "online date" portion of the story. I hope it's better than before!

Reply

Lilliane Wei
23:27 Feb 14, 2021

Awesome, great!

Reply

23:30 Feb 14, 2021

:))

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
TJ Squared
23:31 Feb 13, 2021

Great story! I like how you took reality and twisted it in a way! Good use of imaginary, and at the end, it almost seems like you should make a part two. It's like WHAT HAPPENS?!?!? Anyways, great job!

Reply

23:34 Feb 13, 2021

Part 2 does sound tempting.... And tyyy!!

Reply

TJ Squared
23:56 Feb 13, 2021

no problem!

Reply

00:05 Feb 14, 2021

😁😁

Reply

TJ Squared
00:10 Feb 14, 2021

;)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.