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Adventure Suspense Thriller

Draupadi and Shikhandini. Mahabharata TV series 2013 | Best makeup artist,  Best makeup products, Bridal makeup

(Princess Kamalini with Rekti)


“I want to drink his blood.”

The way she utters those extreme words calmly makes me breathless. I gather my senses and push my words from my tongue.

“Are you sure about what you are saying?” I ask her. “You never mentioned anything so violent before; are you okay, Kamalini?”

She breathes in a huff of air and shuts her eyes. She does it when she is angry or when she finally made a decision.

“Yes, I am certainly going to do this.’’ She takes a momentary pause and studies my eyes. "I stand on my decision, and I am going to do it not caring what you think.”

The silence between us is stale and the waves of the river occupy it by questioning her motive.

“Who are you talking about?” She never demanded anything before. For the past few months, she is going through the turmoil of emotions. Being a princess is overwhelming, but taking the anger on innocent people; is not right.

“The Golden Deer.” She exclaims. “I want to drink its blood. It has magical powers, and when we consume its blood we can travel dimensions.”

A sinister reflection sparks in her eyes.

“You are the princess of the most affluent kingdom, next in line for the throne. Do you think this behavior is appropriate for you?”

I know I am crossing the line, I am a servant but before that, I am a friend. A friend must guide without acknowledging the consequences.

“You know your place in my life. Don't you?” Her words hit me sharply. “Your job is to protect me and to take care of my needs. So, do what I say.”

“But Nali….” She cuts me in our conversation.

She raises her palm and signaling me to not speak anything. ''I princess Kamalini, of Kingdom Ekalki, command you to take me to the northeast shore.’’

I gulp down the tears which swell in my throat. Still, I want to take the last chance.

“Nali, are you sure…” My hands were shaking, but I gathered my courage.

She glares at me with her raven black eyes, and her face flushes up.

“Will you take me, or should I travel myself alone?” When I did not respond to her right after, she stood up and tried to jump down from the boat. I cannot let her embark on this madness alone. ‘'Wait Nali, I will take you. Please sit down.” I catch her wrists and give her an apologetic look.

She positions her back upright and takes her sword because the underwater bandits were habitual in the river.

I start rowing my boat, pushing the water away with my paddle, and watching Nali. She never has requested such rampant wish; there is a strong reason behind it.

But her behavior and words stung me like a poisoned arrow. I never even imagined in my dreams that Nali will take me for granted due to my ranking.



“I am sorry.” I hear a faint voice. "I know I have hurt you Rekti, but it was not my intention. It's necessary.”

“What is necessary, Nali? There is prohibition over the hunting of the Golden Deer in our kingdom and finding a one is also not easy.” I scan her expressions. “You are the daughter of the most powerful King; you are brave and courageous, yet what you are craving for?”

She slides towards me, “I want to avenge the death of my mother. That is the only goal I have in my life.”

“Your father already had avenged your mother's death, right when she died. Don't you know that?” My pitch unfurls; the step which Nali is taking is far more dangerous than anything.

“If I drink its blood, then I will be able to travel time.” I guess her next words. “Maybe, I can travel back when they were in the temple and save her before she gets attacked.”

Her response stuns me, and a strange confusion hovers over my thoughts.

“You know time does not stop for anyone. You can't change your past or future. All you can work on is present; speak logically Nali.”

“I promise you, it will work. Today I read it in the library, and I guarantee you that no harm will happen.” She assures me by squeezing my wrist gently.

In the distance, we hear a howl; we have arrived at the northeast shore. We both look at each other and promise with our eyes.

I take the boat on the side of the bank and gather my knives. I first come out of it; I have to inspect any area where the princess arrives. I run my eyes at each corner, there are trees and poisonous ivy. In the deep silence, we can hear the wolves howling and the trees rumbling. The wind flirts with my hair, and a cool breeze kisses my neck. I see no danger.

I signal the princess to come behind me.

“So, what we have to do next?” Her madness will ruin me one day.

She snatches a knife out from my hand and throws it in the dark void.

“Nali, we are short on weapons, use it wisely..” Before I could complete my sentence, she shuts me by placing her palm and points her eyes to a trail.

A golden trail appears with sky blue wasps. She smiles at me and marches forward.

The trail leads to a den, a big boulder covers its entry. On it was my sharp knife, standing on its small point.

“I think we have reached the site.” She utters it with utmost gratification.

“What and where?” I question her knowledge.

“To the den of the Golden Deer. They are the only species of Deer that live in natural caves, and can you see the boulder?” I shake my head. “It means the mother deer has shut her children inside to protect them from the predators.”

“Like you.” I taunt her with a smile.

“Yes like me. Now we have to remove the boulder and just grab them. I will see the rest of it.”

“The thing which looks easy; has a lot of hidden secrets," I say aloud.

“I know father says it a lot. Let's leave that and do our work first.” She takes few steps towards the den when I hear a sharp twang.

It is the noise of a bow. I cover Nali immediately, but the arrow pierces my arm.

“Rekti.” I hear Nali shout.

But then I hear the faint yet fast winds through which the arrows reach towards us. I cover her immediately and face my back towards them. They pierce my back, and a stream of blood flows from my mouth. I have to protect her at any cost.



March 14, 2021 14:31

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113 comments

Yolanda Wu
09:44 Mar 16, 2021

Oooh, I really like this new part, how you provide a different perspective on Princess Kamalini's character by writing from Rekti's point of view. I love the way you wrote their friendship, how Kamalini is steadfast in her goal, and Rekti is trying to be the voice of reason. I think your dialogue writing has really improved, I could feel the intensity of their argument rising. Both Kamalini and Rekti are really interesting characters that I look forward to reading more about. I like how Kamalini isn't your typical goody-two-shoes, completely...

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Radhika Diksha
14:15 Mar 16, 2021

yOUR COMMENT MAKES MY DAY, MONTH AND EVEN I THINK A YEAR. I TRUST YOU OPINIONS A LOT AND UNLESS YOU DONT SAY ANYTHING I FEEL MY STORY IS INCOMPLETE. THANKS FOR THE WOUNDERFUL FEEDBACK.

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Yolanda Wu
21:31 Mar 16, 2021

You're welcome! I love reading and commenting on your stories. :)

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Writer Maniac
16:05 Mar 14, 2021

I really liked it. The switch in perspective was interesting. I spotted a few minor grammar and sentence formation related mistakes, if you would like me to, I'll point some out for you. A critique I would give would be to describe what Rekti is feeling a bit more, especially in the part where the arrow pierces her. You could describe her pain using imagery, and even describe that even though she was in such deep pain, she felt relief that the princess was safe. Maybe show more about the difference between her and the princess, because both ...

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Radhika Diksha
16:28 Mar 14, 2021

The pain of Rekti is kept for another part. Just wait and watch. I think I have shown a prominent difference between the princess-like, you can see the princess is dominating but Rekti is composed. The princess takes quick decisions but Rekti has composure. That's why I worked only on 2 of them on this story. I think there is a prominent difference between them.

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Writer Maniac
02:16 Mar 15, 2021

No, I mean that when she gets pierced by the arrow, obviously she will feel pain, right? I was talking about that. I felt like this perspective was also dominated by the princess itself, when really it should have been from Rekti's perspective. We never really got to see Rekti's thoughts and feelings, maybe her recalling the time the two of them first met and remembering how strong she was even then. I feel like we should have gotten to see more of that.

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Radhika Diksha
02:50 Mar 15, 2021

Woah, Woah, and Woah. Peter Kavinsky mode on, lol. Wait for the next part everything will be answered, I am the writer so I know and I can anticipate your feelings.

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Radhika Diksha
16:28 Mar 14, 2021

Ya, tell me the grammar mistakes.

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Writer Maniac
02:30 Mar 15, 2021

Okay, here you go: 1. "I stand on my decision, and I am going to do it not caring what you think.” - the correct version would be "I stand on my decision, and I am going to do it, no matter what you think.” 2. "She raises her palm and signaling me to not speak anything. ''I princess Kamalini, of Kingdom Ekalki, command you to take me to the northeast shore.’’" -the corrected one would be "She raises her palm, a sign for me to keep quiet. ''I, princess Kamalini, of Kingdom Ekalki, command you to take me to the northeast shore.’’" 3. “Will ...

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Radhika Diksha
02:48 Mar 15, 2021

I corrected them already thanks.

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Writer Maniac
02:31 Mar 15, 2021

Can we chat on Hangouts?

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Frances Reine
18:41 Mar 17, 2021

Everybody's talking about the pov switch, haha. So I'll point out something else but personally, I'd say the switch is definitely refreshing. As humans our conflicts and imbalance make us interesting. Love how you captured exactly that in this one. Well done, Radhika :)

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Keya M.
17:32 Mar 17, 2021

So good Radhika! I loved the change of perspective, and how it gives us a balanced view of the story. Also, thank you for the Indian representation. It's really empowering, and wonderful to read stories like this.

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Laiba M
13:53 Mar 16, 2021

Hi, Radhika!!! I LOVE the clothes :) I'm very used to seeing them at parties and such so it made me happy to see them again since I haven't gone to a party in a while!!! Thank you for adding the beautiful picture~ Your writing is beautiful and the detail is perfect!!! Do you want to become friends?

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Radhika Diksha
14:02 Mar 16, 2021

You are already my friend. You won't believe me but right now I was reading your story. Thanks for the amazing feedback. you made my day.

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Laiba M
15:10 Mar 16, 2021

Aww, thank you! That's SO crazy, wow!!! And of course! This story deserves a lot more than what I said, haha!~

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Izzie Q.
01:23 Mar 16, 2021

Hey Radhika!! Fabulous job and overall, I think you really thought about the characters relationships <3 really well intertwined and I can tell you thought it through!! I honestly don't have any cirttique, you nailed it!

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Radhika Diksha
14:16 Mar 16, 2021

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK.

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Endellion .
20:26 Mar 14, 2021

I definitely like it, it has the right amount of description and wording. The dialogue might need a little work, but that is a minor problem.

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01:17 Mar 24, 2021

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I LOVE THIS SERIES! KEEP ON COMING BACK! SHOW THOSE DOWNVOTERS!!!!!! OR IS IT ONE? I DUNNO! GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK!!!!! YAY!

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21:51 Mar 22, 2021

I NEED THE ENDING PELASE I'm sorry. I feel this way too. I just... If you're gone for good how do you spell your name again? I'm a misrable speller ad want to put you in my bio for being such a great friend

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21:48 Mar 22, 2021

OH GOSH ARE YOU LEAVING? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I NEED YOUR STORIES I NEED YOUR COMMENTS I NEED YOUR FUNNY PROFILE PICTURES I NEED YOU BACK

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Cookie Carla🍪
15:54 Mar 22, 2021

The way you wrote this story was very clever and I like it!!! From the first line it kept my attention. "I want to drink his blood." It was sooo heart touching, yet so heart breaking. The argument between the two characters brought just enough intensity that the story needed. Amazing job!!

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Radhika Diksha
16:49 Mar 22, 2021

Thanks, I would love ur feedback on the first part too.

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Cookie Carla🍪
16:50 Mar 22, 2021

Yes ma'am/sir!!

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18:12 Mar 21, 2021

The conflict and yet still underlying friendship threaded throughout this story is very well balanced. We'll done :)

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Sapphire ~♚
21:38 Mar 20, 2021

Radhika! Are you okay? I'm always here for you if you need to talk :( I know it's hard to cope with everything, and I 100% understand how you feel. I just wanted to check in on you, and remind you that you're a great friend :)

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Maya
01:35 Mar 20, 2021

Hey Radhika, are you alright? <3

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14:23 Mar 19, 2021

New story out :) Would love your feedback on it

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Hey Radhika (any nicknames? lol I keep forgetting how to spell it) can I join Oasis? I asked Varsha and she said to let me know, what do I do to become an Oasis? Do I put something in my bio? idk XD

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08:17 Mar 17, 2021

and i think you got your twenty five likes =)

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08:15 Mar 17, 2021

how the stakes rise in another tone, in another perspective, is marvelous. princess Kamalini's sight of her goal which blinds her to Rekti's grasp of reason gives a stark view of their friendship. the ending finished this marvelous part perfectly. waiting for the next part.

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Radhika Diksha
09:19 Mar 17, 2021

The next part is coming soon. Work in progress.

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. .
14:15 Mar 16, 2021

This was awesome!! I can really feel and enjoy their relationship. I would tell you to slow down the pacing at the end, because it felt a little rushed.

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Radhika Diksha
14:19 Mar 16, 2021

Ok, got it. There is so much action there. Thanks for your valuable feedback. By the way hows school going.

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. .
14:20 Mar 16, 2021

No problem. School's going great!! Its the same every day, but its going...

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Radhika Diksha
14:20 Mar 16, 2021

How is the covid situation of your area? Is it good.

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. .
14:25 Mar 16, 2021

Well its not insane superspreader but we're being safe and not slacking.

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Radhika Diksha
14:26 Mar 16, 2021

Stay safe and stay healthy.

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Whoaaa-loved it! "Rekti." I hear Nali shout. I shoulud be "REKTI!" (Or in italic) because if my close one got jabbered by an arrow, I would've screamed "REKATIII!!!!" With fear and terror. However, Nali just calmly shouted. "Rekti." As if she didn't care. "I cover her immediately and face my back towards them." Towards who? You should mention WHO. Or, most importantly, the shooting arrows. "I cover her immediately and face my back towards the flying arrows." "They pierce my back, and a stream of blood flows from my mouth." HOW does the ...

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Radhika Diksha
04:23 Mar 16, 2021

I appreciate your suggestions, actually, I did not write very much because it's better to tell less and make them think more. I think telling everything will look like spoon-feeding and I have re-written the story 5 times so I don't think I will change anything. Coming to the rekati part, it was funny. I don't think she doesn't care. I clearly say nali shout, so she does care. Id does not think it requires italics. I think her actions tell how much she is protective rather than narrating. Actually, I have taken few writing courses, so doing...

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Radhika Diksha
04:37 Mar 16, 2021

They pierce my back, and a stream of blood flows from my mouth." So, when a huge impact falls upon your back, it results inflowing of blood from the mouth. Shouldn't it be: "I have to protect her no matter the cost-even if it's my life." Adding in the "it's my life." Part makes the reader KNOW that she is very protective of Nali. (It sounds very childish because its better to show her actions than telling all.) Loved your suggestions, thanks for reading the story.

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Radhika Diksha
06:35 Mar 16, 2021

Hey Blixxi. I re-read my comment and I felt that I was not polite to you. But it never not my intentions. The comment that I made on your story is purely constructive criticism. I have lots of love for you. It's just that exams are around the corner. So anxiety is like my air now. Hope you will understand.

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Oh my goshhh! That's a lot of pressure, I understand. No offense taken. However, I've Noticed whenever I comment on your stories, the comment gets to -1.

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Radhika Diksha
16:11 Mar 16, 2021

I upvoted you still it became the same. Even on other stories its happening.

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I know! Someone is *attempting* (I say attempting yes because you & a few other people are still keeping me around my points.) to downvote me. It's alright, though. When's part 3 coming??

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Radhika Diksha
16:53 Mar 16, 2021

It will come soon. DOnt worry we are there with you. By the way is devaki inamdar good friend with everyone. Because like she was here 2 months ago but now she is in top 20.

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