A strange place (part 1)

Submitted into Contest #64 in response to: Write about someone who’s been sent to boarding school.... view prompt

352 comments

Adventure Fantasy

I was reaching the school which seemed to be in the middle of the woods, yeah that isn't creepy at all. This feels like it would be something out of a horror movie actually, why do people in those always go?

I looked up at the large dull building ahead of me, it was three stories so i guess that was interesting. I got out of my car and began to gather my things so i can go inside and look for my dorm.

I took out my phone from my shirts pocket and then checked the time. 11:30. Great, it was almost midnight now, why did the school have to be so far away?

I entered the school and began to look around the lights weren't really on but I was luckily able to still see. Ahead of me was a girl around my age something looked strange though, why was she really pale? She almost looked like a ghost or something.

"Hey, your the new girl the others have been talking about lately, right?" a curious voice came out from the girls mouth as I was about to go through a hallway.

I would have just ignored her and kept trying to find where I would stay, though wouldn't that have been rude? I quickly walked back to the girl and then spoke, "Uh yeah I guess that is me, My name's Ember."

"Oh, the names Moon."

I began to look around the area that me and Moon were in, though there was really nothing there. It was just as dull and blank as the outside of the school, jeez I think this is going to be a fun time. Everyone likes it this way?

"Your looking for your dorm right? I could show you to it if you want?" Moon asked with a smile. It was a quick teeth showing smile though even then, I think I saw something sharp in there.

I accepted it though because I didn't want to be looking for the dorm myself and then fall asleep in the middle of the hallway. I'm not sure if anyone would come and find me or if they'd even take me somewhere.

"Hey, maybe later when you get some sleep you could meet up with me and Blue? He's really nice and we always find stuff to do here" Moon then suggested as she flashed me another smile.

"Eh, why not? I don't have anything better to do while I'm here."

We walked through a few long hallways which really reminded me of some things from horror movies until we finally reached some dorm rooms. In the area we were in, there were about four or five dorms.

One of the dorms was actually Moon's and the other one was Blue's. I looked at the other one but I never saw a name, it looked like something had been scratched out. Though luckily for me the next dorm was mine.

"Have a good sleep buddy, me and Blue will come get you soon." I could hear her say as I entered my dorm room. On the inside it actually seemed colorful instead of being dull and boring like the rest of the school.

The walls were painted a light blue while the floor had some sort of white fuzzy carpet. I wish it was bubble wrap carpet instead, do you know how fun that would be? Maybe later I could try to replace it with some bubble wrap..

I just kind of throw my belongings to the other side of the room, I'll put everything up correctly in the morning. I plugged in my phone and decided to listen to some music, I think that usually help's me fall asleep.

I got a text from my mother right as I was about to do that though. "Hey honey, did you get there already? I hope it wasn't that much trouble for you, though I know you'll like this way better. You could even make some new friends!" She sent a lot of emoji's after that.

I decided not to respond to the text, at least for tonight. She'll be fine until then, she's not gonna die because I didn't respond for a few hours. I mean, at least I hope that won't happen. Could it happen?

It doesn't matter I just needed to hope that she wouldn't worry that much and just fall asleep. So I turned my phone off instead of listening to music anymore and tried my best to fall asleep. It's a stupid idea but maybe I should try to count sheep?

I awoke suddenly after hearing something like a...howl coming from the roof? I could tell that it WAS a howl but how did anything manage to get onto the roof? I checked the time to see how long I was asleep. It was midnight.

I didn't even sleep for that long? It had only been for thirty minutes! I decided to go check out what had caused the noise, though I already knew that it was probably a wolf. I still needed to try and get it out though.

I didn't bother to put on any regular clothes or put my shoes on, so I was just walking around the school in my Pj's while also being barefoot on the cold floor. It was easy to find my way to the roof because I found a map in the school that showed where everything was.

As I reached the Roof I saw...oh boy, how do I even explain it? Well first, I had seen Moon staring up at the night sky and she had somehow seemed even paler, I swore I saw Fangs in her mouth as well.

She hadn't been the strangest thing there though, right next to her I saw what seemed to be a wolf not that taller than her standing on two legs. It was wearing a ripped jacket and some sweatpants it was all almost intact though, it didn't seem that ripped.

I had decided to take a picture, I was just really tired so I thought if I did that then I'd know for sure if it was real or not. Moon didn't appear but the wolf did- I assume that it was Blue.

Though it was a bad idea to even decide to take a picture with my phone, because apparently the two of them heard the noise of it and turned to me. I was going to try and duck until the wolf spoke, "What the, Moon do you know who this is?"

Moon stared at me in silence before she seemed to whisper something to Blue. I couldn't exactly hear what she was saying, though I assume that she was telling him how she met me a while ago.

"Your a...he's a..."

"A Vampire? Yes. A werewolf? Yes as well." Moon said as she smiled again, this time with her fangs actually showing this time. Though as she said this, I could tell she was a bit confused by my reaction.

Werewolf Blue helped me out onto the roof with them and then brought me over to Moon. "Why do you seem so shocked about this? Aren't you one of us as well?"

I shook my head.

Moon seemed a bit startled and she brought werewolf Blue to another area of the roof away from me, they were probably trying to think of what to do with me. Oh gosh, what if they decide to kill me??

The two of them then walked back over to me, they were both smiling now. Though it wasn't really a sinister smile- at least I think, they looked a bit happy and excited.

"We'll keep it a secret, don't you worry. We aren't sure how anyone else would react if they find this out, the least they could do is at least kick you out." Moon spoke.

I nodded and smiled, at least they weren't going to try and kill me. Or worse- One of them is a vampire and one of them is a werewolf, they could try to fight over me or something. Ugh, this isn't going to be like Twilight.

"Wait, are there other things besides both of you?"

Moon nodded and werewolf Blue then said, "Yes of course! Besides Vampires and Werewolves, there are also Ghosts, Witches, and many other things you've yet to met."

The three of us eventually decided to get off of the roof and go back to our dorms. Or they were at least just walking me to mine, Vampires were usually things of the night along with werewolves. I'd possibly only see them at night.

I could do this though, They'd be helping me while I would be here. Right now though I wasn't going to be worrying about what could happen, I just needed to sleep.

October 16, 2020 16:59

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352 comments

Anna Mosqueda
00:51 Oct 23, 2020

Hey I made it over! Great story! I can see that it was well thought out. I liked the lightheartedness of it, even though it was a spookyish story:) I also loved the names of Ember, Blue, and Moon. It was funny when you mentioned Twilight, I finished those books earlier this summer;) Just some advice, make sure after you write, you go back and check your grammar. If you need help with that, I recommend Grammarly or any other online editor. These will make your stories easier to read and more grammatically correct. You can also get better a...

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B. W.
01:03 Oct 23, 2020

Thank's, i'm glad you liked it and thanks for some of the advice as well ^^ i have Grammarly and some other stuff, though i keep forgetting to use it. Did you maybe have a favorite part or character in the story and is there anything you want to happen in the next part?

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Anna Mosqueda
11:31 Oct 23, 2020

Of course! My favorite character would probably be Blue. Even though he didn't have a large part in this part of the story, I think you should make him more present in the next part! He's usually the type of character that I would like.

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B. W.
15:10 Oct 23, 2020

i could do that ^^

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S. K.
13:29 Oct 20, 2020

good job on the story! its a neat concept and i liked how you had analogies to horror movies. one thing i might suggest is trying (in future stories ofc) to break up some long sentences. Example: I looked up at the large dull building ahead of me, it was three stories so i guess that was interesting. --> I looked up at the large, dull building ahead of me. It was three stories tall, so I guess that was interesting. great job and good luck!

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B. W.
15:25 Oct 20, 2020

Thanks i'm glad you liked it ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part or character in it? I'll also try to work on the thing.

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S. K.
16:12 Oct 20, 2020

there wasn't a ton of chance for character development (except main character) but i liked the vampire girl! i think this story has a lot of potential

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B. W.
16:16 Oct 20, 2020

Thanks ^^ what do you think or what do you want to happen in the next part?

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S. K.
14:12 Oct 21, 2020

whatever you want... more development of the interesting world!

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B. W.
14:24 Oct 21, 2020

alrighty

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Kate Ulrich
22:55 Oct 19, 2020

Hey! I just saw you're on the leaderboard and wanted to congratulate you. Good job! :)

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B. W.
00:14 Oct 20, 2020

oh, thanks katie ^^

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14:52 Oct 19, 2020

Ooh, great story! I really like the names blue and Moon.

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B. W.
14:54 Oct 19, 2020

Thanks ^^ did you have a favorite part?

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00:27 Oct 20, 2020

hmm, not really. I liked all of it.

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B. W.
00:28 Oct 20, 2020

oh

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00:57 Oct 22, 2020

Yep :)

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B. W.
00:58 Oct 22, 2020

when do ya think you'll make a new story?

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Charles Stucker
01:57 Oct 19, 2020

I got out of my car and began to gather my things so i can go inside and look for my dorm.- Not just the I, but you change between past and present tense- got, began, can, look = past, past, present, present. shirts pocket- shirt's around the lights weren't really on but I was luckily able to still see. - Period after around. Get rid of really. Then reorder the words, "but luckily, I was still able to see." Ahead of me was a girl around my age something looked strange though, why was she really pale?- this is three sentences. put ...

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B. W.
02:20 Oct 19, 2020

Yeah- the past and present tense thing is something i need to work on, though i think it might just be in this story and not the others. I was also wondering if you could check out my very first story i did on here? just kinda to see if i've gotten better since then or something. "A friend's secret" was the name, but anyway, I don't think i'll ever be able to be like that descriptive with things. You showed me what i should say instead of the wolf howl which i will probably change later but i probably wouldn't be able to do whatever you said...

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Charles Stucker
08:28 Oct 19, 2020

The key to description is practice. Just like any other skill.

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B. W.
14:20 Oct 19, 2020

alright

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. .
23:04 Oct 18, 2020

This is amazing! Can't wait for part 2

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B. W.
23:05 Oct 18, 2020

Thanks, i'm glad you liked the story ^^ did you have a favorite part or character in this?

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. .
23:07 Oct 18, 2020

Wow! You replied fast. I'd say Moon because I love her personality.

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B. W.
23:08 Oct 18, 2020

I'm on here a lot, i'm also just bored and want to talk to someone. What do you think or what do you want to happen in the next part?

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. .
23:10 Oct 18, 2020

I'm so bored as well... I think like something major like death... I mean Halloween is soon and all

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B. W.
23:11 Oct 18, 2020

Well, who do you think die and how?

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Zilla Babbitt
19:39 Oct 18, 2020

Hi Blair! I haven't talked to you in awhile. What's up?

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B. W.
20:24 Oct 18, 2020

Oh heya zilla, you could still just call me B since this is a halloween name, though nothing much, how ya been?

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Manya Munjal
14:52 Oct 18, 2020

PLZ CHECK OUT MY PROFILE SIR

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B. W.
15:04 Oct 18, 2020

what?

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Megan Sutherland
02:18 Oct 18, 2020

Ooh, B.W.! I really liked this! Something I would have done to maybe make it *spicier*, make it an accident that Ember found them. Like she is looking for the kitchen for a glass of water or something and accidentally opens the wrong door and like OOP there they are. You seem to struggle with tenses a little- you're jumping from past to present and back frequently. Stick with one unless you're doing like a flashback or it can get a little confusing for the reader. Overall I really liked this!

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B. W.
02:30 Oct 18, 2020

I mean didn't she already find them on accident? or do you mean like she just woke up without hearing the howl and purely on accident? I kinda thought that i did do the way of her finding em on accident but i'm glad that you at least liked the story ^^ i'll also try to work on the tenses.

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Megan Sutherland
03:17 Oct 18, 2020

I suppose. Hope I didn't sound rude there :)

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B. W.
03:18 Oct 18, 2020

Is there anything that you'd want to happen in the next part?

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Megan Sutherland
03:18 Oct 18, 2020

Hmmm Maybe a monster version of a jock shows up and challenges her in some way? idrk

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B. W.
03:24 Oct 18, 2020

anything else?

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09:34 Oct 17, 2020

Hi, B.! You told me to leave feedback on this story, so here I am. As always, you had an amazing plot line. I loved it, and your names were incredible. Your dialogue flowed well, despite the grammar mistakes. Here are some examples to help: "Or worse- One of them is a vampire..." In this phrase, the 'o' in 'one' should be lowercase. " 'Your a...he's a...' " Instead of 'your' it should be you're. " 'Oh, the names Moon.' " Instead of 'names' it should be name's. Also, download Grammarly! It will help drastically! Overall, this story was ...

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B. W.
15:06 Oct 17, 2020

Thank's, i'm glad that you liked it ^^ i'm pretty sure that i DO have grammarly but i just keep forgetting to use it all the time. thank's again for the help with that stuff and i could probably fix all the errors since it's going to be a while before the newer ones come out. Did you maybe have a favorite part or character?

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18:29 Oct 17, 2020

You are welcome! Maybe put a sticky note on your computer that says "Use Grammarly!" or something like that so you won't forget. My favorite character was Ember, and my favorite part was when Ember sees Blue and Moon in their full vampire and werewolf forms.

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B. W.
18:52 Oct 17, 2020

Hm, yeah i guess i could do that. What's something you wanna see happen with Blue or Moon?

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18:54 Oct 17, 2020

Maybe Blue and Ember fall in love.

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B. W.
19:22 Oct 17, 2020

Hm, that's a bit interesting, any other ideas for Blue or Moon?

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Orenda .
06:37 Oct 17, 2020

ooooh, as much as i dont like werewolf-alpha pack...stories, I liked this a lot. Ive noticed some regular mistakes in your stories and it's an autocorrect, if I'm not wrong and that is you mix up a lot of apostrophes and it distracts the reader. Like, your is supposed to be you're where needed. "Oh, the names Moon." It's supposed to be "name's" one more thing- me and Moon it's not directed toward you, but when you say that, it feels like you're all boastfull and thus, that phrase, "me, myself and I." LOL. Its should be Moon and I. ...

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B. W.
15:04 Oct 17, 2020

What do you mean? It's not a werewolf alpha pack story or whatever else that they'd be called, the character that's a werewolf is barely even in it. I still don't know what ya really mean but i'm glad that you enjoyed the story ^^ it's still going to be a while so i could probably go and try to edit them all before the time runs out. What do you think is going to happen in the next part of the story?

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Orenda .
15:51 Oct 17, 2020

Well, I don't know what I was saying. Sorry, my bad! This is NOT a werewolf story. hmm, I think I have no idea what will happen next.

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B. W.
15:54 Oct 17, 2020

That's alright ^^ what do ya think about Ember and the other two?

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Orenda .
15:54 Oct 17, 2020

yeah, they're cool.

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B. W.
16:18 Oct 17, 2020

I probably won't do this but again i'm thinking of a death or a near death for a character

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Laiba M
01:55 Oct 17, 2020

Hi! What do you want to talk about??

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B. W.
01:58 Oct 17, 2020

Oh wait, i don't think you've even read this story yet! Or you have and i just completely forgot somehow. What do you think of it though?

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Laiba M
02:40 Oct 17, 2020

No, I've read it and talked about it, check the previous comments lol~~

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B. W.
02:47 Oct 17, 2020

Oh, anyway do you remember the stuff you were doing for my demi-god novel and showing it to me in the threads? Like the thing with Arren saving Ryder and the other stuff? i was wondering if you could do that again except it's with this story?

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Laiba M
13:53 Oct 17, 2020

Yeah, no problem! What part do you need?

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B. W.
15:09 Oct 17, 2020

This probably isn't going to happen and i'm just really curious about it, but could you do a thing where blue (as a werewolf) accidentally bites Ember? Because when a werewolf bites someone likes that the person would start to become a werewolf as well if it was a full moon.

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C.J 🤍
17:22 Oct 20, 2020

Hiya

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B. W.
17:22 Oct 20, 2020

hey there, how ya been?

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C.J 🤍
17:26 Oct 20, 2020

Good......you are writing a novel?

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B. W.
17:28 Oct 20, 2020

Yes, i'm writing like four novels. why?

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C.J 🤍
17:30 Oct 20, 2020

How are you writing 4 novels at once ?

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B. W.
17:37 Oct 20, 2020

Multitasking. and i'll just work on one novel for a little while and then i'll switch the next day to another novel and stuff like that.

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Raquel Rodriguez
15:44 Oct 20, 2020

Hey B! I was reading your story again (I didn't realize) but then I saw my comment and I saw that you hadn't fixed the mistakes yet. Is something wrong?

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B. W.
15:47 Oct 20, 2020

Huh, why would something be wrong? Don't worry, i just haven't went and fixed the mistakes yet, though i still will ^^

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Raquel Rodriguez
16:21 Oct 20, 2020

Oh, okay! :)

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B. W.
16:22 Oct 20, 2020

I could still use some help with stuff though

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Raquel Rodriguez
16:32 Oct 20, 2020

What is it?

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B. W.
04:41 Oct 22, 2020

i never noticed any of this stuff, sorry. well ya know how Ember is a human and Blue is a werewolf, right?

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Raquel Rodriguez
17:10 Oct 20, 2020

Hello?

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C.J 🤍
23:52 Oct 19, 2020

Please read my new story

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Raquel Rodriguez
17:51 Oct 16, 2020

Hey B! You asked me to read, so here I am! Great job, I loved how you described the school as dull, and you told the readers that it was in the middle of the woods! And when you explain that Moon flashed Ember a quick smile. As for the feedback, I spotted three mistakes: '"Hey, your the new girl the others have been talking about lately, right?"' Because Moon is asking if Ember is the new girl, the correct term is 'you're,' not 'your.' The fixed sentence would be, '"Hey, you're the new girl the others have been talking about lat...

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B. W.
17:59 Oct 16, 2020

Thank you, i'm glad that you enjoyed the story ^^ i'll make sure that i fix the errors soon, i'm gonna try and get better with the stories. Did you maybe have a favorite part of the story or a favorite character?

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Raquel Rodriguez
18:00 Oct 16, 2020

I think I like Moon the best! My favorite part was when Ember found Moon and Blue on the roof. :)

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B. W.
18:07 Oct 16, 2020

What do ya think will happen in the next part?

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Raquel Rodriguez
18:29 Oct 16, 2020

I don't know, I keep watching my points get lower. Honestly, I don't care about them at this point. I wanted to get high on the leaderboard so that more people could see my writing because I really want to improve, but yeah. Maybe Blue or Moon will accidentally spill something, or people will get suspicious of Ember after an incident?

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B. W.
18:30 Oct 16, 2020

I could maybe upvote you or something if you want? Hm, could you still help me with it? what kind of incident would it be?

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