(Everlys's POV)
The pain is nothing like I've ever felt. A punch, bullet wound, or even the feeling of having oxygen ripped out of my lungs doesn't hurt as much as this. Seeing my sister's death is worse than all that combined.
My train of thought rushes past as a misty body lunges. I envelope them in a stream of pale blue, and they fade away like fog. Another grabs my wrist and twists so that I fall to my knees. My breathing becomes erratic as I smell burning flesh, and feel the sharp stinging pain. Their touch does something, even though they aren't alive. I tug one of the pins out of my blonde, braided bun, thrusting the sharp tip through their rib cage.
They're exactly like the holographic opponents back in the training bay. But the holograms didn't make you remember things you don't want to remember.
I quickly stand, firing a beam of white, glowing energy towards another as my dragon sends the last misty figure fading away. Then a scream cuts through the air. The high-pitched scream of a child.
I turn, trying to locate it through the forests. We're surround by the ruins of a stone structure, pillars crumbled to the ground. It stands in a meadow, the trees surrounding it limp and bare. The grass is dead, like the life has been sucked out of everything green. An expanse of parched desert lies in the distance, sand staring up at the sky with blistering, imploring eyes. The sky doesn't grant it's wish, just like how my pleads to not listen Althea's torture go unheard.
I remember the scene from inside that dark room. She had slowly flickered to life, and I had felt joy by seeing her, ignoring the bloody wounds. But it was short-lived. I had to watch as she was burned alive by someone's dragon.
Those horrid people need to pay for what they did.
Tears slip from the corner of my eyes on to the ground as another scream echoes through my head. Now, without anyone seeing, I can cry.
I forget everything before her death. It's not like I want to remember, though. If I did something, my father would always say it could have been better. If I was proud of myself, my mother would always cut me down and say that I still wasn't enough.
I remember training for long, perilous hours, starting when then sun crept up the morning sky and ending when it stained the wispy clouds scarlet. I remember the weak, limp feeling in my limbs, and my mother ignoring my pleads for a break. Besides that, I remember nothing.
Feralith looks to the sky after a few minutes, black eyes narrowing as we hear wing beats. I know we can't run, so I lift a hand to try and locate the contestant as my fingertips start to glow a faint white.
She stands as her spiked tail swishes back and forth. We hear the sound of branches snapping and dry leaves crunching under someone's feet, and I wait.
I reach out, and sense someone traveling through the forest, a large creature by their side as they walk this way.
It takes me a moment to process what I feel. I'm confused as I touch their consciousness again. Their mind seems twisted, almost. Like a skilled Telepath manipulated them, and still are. It's as if their thoughts are what someone wants them to be, not what they really are. It's confusing, and I force myself to draw back as I feel the urge to pry further. Their emotions are bent, and the only thing I feel is fury, and a willingness to comply. The rest of their mind is...blank.
I stare as the figure walks out of the woods. A great shadow covers the sun, who I soon see to be a massive black dragon, twice the size of Feralith.
The person stops on the other side of the meadow, wisps of blackness curling in midair around them. What is this place? I force my erratic breathing to slow as they walk forward. I'm unsure what to do next. Do I... wait? Do I fight? Do I kill them?
The whites of his eyes are glazed over in black, veins of the same dark color crawling out of the corners of his eyes. The effect is terrifying, and I couldn't look away. Feralith stared at the other dragon. She was intimidated, I could tell. But she stood ground, and I did, too.
They walked toward us, both their and their dragon's steps eerily in sync. They stop once we're ten feet apart, and waited what felt like an eternity.
The dragon lept forward, claws scraping again Feralith's silver-gray scales. She lets out a roar and bites down on the larger dragon's shoulder, earning a cry of anger and a swift claw at her muzzle that sends blood spattering to the ground.
The person fires a beam of black, misty energy, and I don't have time to block it before it hits my shoulder. The wound smolders, the fabric of my shirt hissing and curling as it burned. It feels just like when the misty opponents hit.
I reach up for my other hair clip, and it lengthens into a long, thin knife. He lunges, and I thrust it towards him. He's faster than I anticipated, despite not being from Sinistra or Alcator. He must be from Alderon, then.
My thoughts distract me, and I cry out as he sends another beam of black into my side, sending me falling back.
Just like every single training session of my childhood, I stare up at my opponent. My mother fills my head, with her constant berating as she taught me how to fight. A wave of dread and terror washes over me as I remember the cold eyes that always bore into mine. I've been told I look just like her- but that's the only similarity.
I swiftly stand before he has the chance to kill me, throwing one of my long knives. I feel a sickening satisfaction as it implants deep into his chest. Blood blossoms on his shirt as he falls back, and I slowly step forward. I glance over at Feralith, and turn to help her.
But something holds me fast, gripping my ankle tightly. I look back at the person who I killed. Who I thought I killed. They grip my pin in their hand, black energy coiling around the blade.
His stares at me, and I don't know what to do. His eyes flicker to their original brown for a brief moment, and I stumble back with the opportunity. He lifts his hands at the same time I do, and I fight to keep the glowing stream constant as the black energy coils around my only defense. Every strand the darkness devours, the sharper the pain. It feels like I'm being stabbed from the inside out with a flaming knife.
Help me. I hear as the black stream falters. The voice in my mind vanishes, and I grit my teeth as I push against the dark magic. Soon, the fight begins to favor me. He falls back just as I had, looking up at me with his crazed, black eyes. I hold out my hand, and my pin vanishes from the ground and materializes back into my hand.
Who did this to him? Who's behind the races? They'll pay for what that they've done.
I plunge the blade into his chest, holding it there for a moment as I make sure his breathing has stopped. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the black dragon disintegrating into a pile of ash.
I stand after a moment, staring at the bloody knife. I wipe it off with the hem of my shirt, then run to Feralith. I had been so absorbed in my own fight, I hadn't been able to help her. She has a terrible wound on her left wing, and an ugly gash runs down her side. She roars softly as if telling me she's fine. I nod in understanding, touching my hand to her nose. I'm glad she's okay.
I glance back at the ash, then at the other competitor's limp figure.
I freeze, eyes narrowing as I see it isn't there. It should be, seeing that I plunged my blade through his chest a minute ago. I look around the clearing, but the body isn't there.
He's gone.
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365 comments
Helloooo! I feel like the parts in TDR are starting to get shorter and shorter, or maybe that's just me. XD Anyway, thank you SO much for reading!!! As you probably noticed, I really rushed this one with writing it in only a day, and not putting in as much time as I did for Part 8 or Flashback. ALL CRITIQUES ARE WELCOME!!! :) :) :) (Also, those of you who's characters aren't in yet, I PROMISEEEEE they will come eventually. I've got this whole plot planned out, trust me.) Anyway, thanks again for reading!!!! -Mira
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AHHHH!!! This was such a great way for part 11 to be formed! Great job! :)
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Thank you!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D
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Your welcome!
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:)
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:)
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=)
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Hello, me again, after this was edited. Once again, i am blown away. I noticed some of the little changes you made here and there, to, as you said, make it flow more fluidly, and boy did they work! Yes, your story does flow more now, and it's spectacular! I love reading you work :D
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😁😁😁 THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! 😁😁😁 Also, all critiques are welcome, even if they are small grammatical things or errors with tenses.
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😁😁😁 THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! 😁😁😁 Also, all critiques are welcome, even if they are small grammatical things or errors with tenses.
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Yeah, I love critique too, it's just the giving part that makes me nervous. I always feel like I'm being rude or mean whenever I try to critique something, ya know? I'm really really sorry, I will try to critique some of your work for the future though? *akwardly smiles*
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Oh and sorry if my responses are late, I'm reading a book where a girl finds out she accidentally killed her mother when she was a baby and WOW it's and adventure XD
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I, personally, don't care how mean the critique is, I just want to improve!!! I know you aren't trying to be mean, but rather helping, so I take it as "oh, someone cares and wants to help me get better!' instead of 'my writing's bad, I hate it.' No, it's fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...........wow. That book sounds awesome.
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Thanks for understanding :) I promise to try and leave some actual critique in the future :DD. Also, that's a great way to look at things!!! Yeah, it is awesome, it's "Accidental" by Alex Richards :)
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Malefice Prophecy: In the land of darkness and ashes The one will rise out of the whole As the Dark and Light clashes A key to unlock the soul The silver princess shall rise Burn the duchess's guise All shall bow or all shall die All shall worship the all-seeing eye
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YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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I LARB IT
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EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK SAME
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YAYYYYYYYYYY
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I can't draw rocksssssss
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did i start the prophecy trend? if i did yay plus the prophecy you created is prob coming out tomorow
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Well technically you started the trend by asking me to help and now I'm making prophecies for other peeps. I always had a Malefice prophecy in mind. OMG YASSSSSSS
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luke you close to 10th place
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I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW ALSO I PUT TRIVIA IN MY BIO NO SEARCHSIES!!!!! Have you read Atlas Shrugged yet??
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HEYYYYYYYYYYYY DID I START DA TRIVIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa erm atlas shrugged is a tad bit creepy and confuzzling. im trying tho
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actually.... i think I'm taking a break this week from War of Elements :(
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NOOOOOOOOOO WELP THAT'S OK I'M NOT DOING MALEFICE BC THE PROMPTS DON'T FITTTT
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MIRA I MADE A PROPHECY FOR NIKA: Out of kin the darkness will rise Out of ash a phoenix flies All shall fall to the smoke and pain Unless the child breaks from her chain A light in the dark A slave no more The song of the lark Shall burn to the core The gods shall revere her And she unto them But all shall too fear her As evil's true gem The fire shall tempt her And so she shall emerge Stoic as they taunt her And so she shall purge The land will be free of the flame and the smoke Of the rope round the neck that once did choke If she is ...
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.........MAKE ME A FRIGGIN PROPHECY!!!!!!!!! You.....you are Tolkein reincarnated.
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That's...like...the coolest prophecy I've ever heard. Jen's is pretty dang amaxing, too.
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I knowwwwww I'm so proud of this oneee and REMEMBER I REFERENCED A PROPHECY FOR MALEFICE????? IMMA MAKE A LARIONA PROPHECY AND A TDR PROPHHHHHH
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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EEEEEE HAPPY
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RIGHT???? THAT"S WHAT I SAID!!
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YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! He offered to make me one for TDR, but IOUYTREDYTUIOYTDHSGFHJK
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WHOOOO OMG hehe can't wait to read it :D also imma get you to 7600+!!
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ALERT- AMETHYST NEEDS UPVOTING
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I AM ON MY WAY
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I AM ON MY WAY
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whew we need all hands on deck, so far, her points have only gone up by nine. NINE. and she was downvoted 200+
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I JUST HELPED!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I JUST HELPED!!!!!!!!!!!!
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MISSION HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED, AMETHYST IS FEELING BETTER :DDDDD
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YAAAAAAAAY!!!
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XDD
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I submitted the spirit animal story and you're in it. It's called "Endings and New Beginnings" :D
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GAAAAAAASP YAY!!!!
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GAAAAAAASP YAY!!!!
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:DDD
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So i saw lukes bio that u pronounce keefe as keefie and.....OMG I DID TOOOOOOO XDDD
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YASSSSSS!!!!! We had a debate, and I'm sticking to y pronunciation. It's just so...cute!!! And it fits him better than something that rhymes with "coral reef"
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LOL "coral reef" aaaand it also rhymes with beef and elves don't eat meat sooooo....keefie it is XD
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I AM VEGETARIAN TOOOOOOO!!!! See, I was destined to make up the pronunciation for his name. XDDDDDDDDDDD Keefieeeeee!!!!!
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YESS YOUUUU WEREEEE I HAVE NEVER EATEN BEEF OR PORK IN MY LIFE LMAOO EXCEPT PEPPERONI BUT THAT WAS ONCE HEHEHEHE WE STAN KEEFIEEEE
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XDDD YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Totally random note, but I've cast TDR XDDD Like, with actors and actresses as characters XD
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in case your wondering.... mr sydnes isn't able to start the zoom so no FACS class for you
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YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY I CAN WRITE PART 12!!!
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YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY I CAN WRITE PART 12!!!
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Nope!! That was it!! You've really gotten better (You're welcome)
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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????????????????? DID IT HAVE ENOUGH EVERLYS EMOTION????????????????????
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YEP IT DIDDDDDDD
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ACTUALLY???????? LIKE...LIKE YOUR STORIES??????
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ACTUALLY???????? LIKE...LIKE YOUR STORIES??????
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NOT AS MUCH AS MINE BUT ENOUGH!!!!!
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.....Yeah, your the King of Emotions XDDD BUT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THAT'S LIKE SERIOUSLY HIGH PRAISE
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.....Yeah, your the King of Emotions XDDD BUT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THAT'S LIKE SERIOUSLY HIGH PRAISE
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OMG YOU'RE 18 ON THE LEADERBOARD
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OMG YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU AND JEN AND NANIKA AND KATE AND CELESTE AND SAPPHIRE AND EVERYONE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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YESSSS NO PROBLEM GIRL!!
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:DDDDDDDDDD
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:DDDDDDDDDD
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:D:D::D:D
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OMG YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU AND JEN AND NANIKA AND KATE AND CELESTE AND SAPPHIRE AND EVERYONE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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WE GOT SO HIGH UP ON THE LEADERBOARD JEEEEEEEZ JEN'S AT LIKE 36
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I'MMA UPVOTE HER INSTANTLY
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XD
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I legit can't find any more of her posts to upvote.... XD
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Oh yay Everlys POV! This was new and fresh!
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:)
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:)
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Wow! How do you come up with this? Such vivid and action-packed writing. The story is always moving and every word has a purpose. Looking forward to the next!
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Thank you!!! Part 12 will be out by the end of the week!
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Thank you!!! Part 12 will be out by the end of the week!
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This was an amazing job, delete this tho: When she died, I didn't cry. People thought that I hadn't cared, and that I was a Sinistrian through and through. But no one really is. What even is the definition of belonging in the kingdom I was born to? What does it even mean? I don't think anyone knows, and I certainly don't. THEN IT WILL BE AMAXINGGGGGG
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T'WILL DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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T'WILL DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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YAY!!! Also what time should I come over on Sunday??
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HhhhmMMmmm....T'will consult mother.Uh...maybe your mom should just text mine and ask....
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HhhhmMMmmm....T'will consult mother.Uh...maybe your mom should just text mine and ask....
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No, my mom doesn't want to ask if I can go over, so could your mom??
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XDDD It's the endless cycle of wanting the other parent to message first... ok, will do
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OMG YAYAUYYYYYYYYYYYY i love it! *jen da dragon*
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😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁
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hi can you spam like 50 posts (either here or on my stories idc)
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K!!!
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yep thats enough lol
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K!!!
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K!!!
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oof i wanna read the whole series tonight, but it's getting late for me, so very soon tomorrow I will/ need to see what happens!
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Ok!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO glad you're enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ok!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO glad you're enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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:)))))) Yep I am :P
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Love the suspense. Your writing style astounds me, with a sense of suspense that I haven’t seen in so long. I know you put something about wanting critique in your bio, so here goes; I had the same problem before of beginning every sentence with the word “I” whenever I wrote in first person. I couldn’t find a link to a good article about how to avoid it, but in the past, I think it’s sometimes better to get right into the action instead of leaving the character ruminating. Its a lot easier if you’ve taken poetry classes; they really know how...
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Thank you so much! Yes, I've found that writing in first person comes with the problem you stated. I'll keep that in mind for Part 12. Again, thank you!\\
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Thank you so much! Yes, I've found that writing in first person comes with the problem you stated. I'll keep that in mind for Part 12. Again, thank you!\\
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YOU PUT JEN IN YOUR BIO BUT NOT ME????
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THAT'S CUZ SHE WROTE THAT THING!!!!!
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THAT'S CUZ SHE WROTE THAT THING!!!!!
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SO I DON'T GET TO BE (She is one of my best friends, and always seems to make me feel like a marshmallow in a cup of hot cocoa though her comments. She's one of the people who got me this far, so I just want to say THANK YOU!!! Or, MERCI!!!)??????
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I put you innnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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YAY
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XDDDDDDDDDDD
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Fantasy Queen! Guess what!!! ... ... Did you guess? I’m on the leaderboard!!!!!!!!😁😭😎 Maya upvoted me so much, I got on it!!!!
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OMG THAT'S AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA UPVOTE YOU, TOO!!!!!!!!1
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OMG THAT'S AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA UPVOTE YOU, TOO!!!!!!!!1
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Oml thx!
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Wow! Great story! I just love it. Do you want to be in my new fantasy? Just tell me your character's: Hair color Eye color Skin color (it's fantasy so it could even be, like, silver or blue if you want to) Age Height Magic power/element Talent Spirit animal Thanks! :D :D
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YES!!! Hair color: Wavy, black hair with silver and dark blue highlights Eyes color: Black, but turns into a glowing silver when magic is used. (Or whatever, lol) Skin color: Olive Age: Teen. You decide my age! Height: 5'4" Magic power/Element: Water/Darkess/Matter Manipulation Talent: Singing, Art, Writing, Observation Spirit animal: White fox, wolf, or dragon
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YES!!! Hair color: Wavy, black hair with silver and dark blue highlights Eyes color: Black, but turns into a glowing silver when magic is used. (Or whatever, lol) Skin color: Olive Age: Teen. You decide my age! Height: 5'4" Magic power/Element: Water/Darkess/Matter Manipulation Talent: Singing, Art, Writing, Observation Spirit animal: White fox, wolf, or dragon
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