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Drama Romance Fantasy

“Ugh, I hate this place!” Darcy says and falls on the couch. 


We are in a room in an old castle. This castle is a really big one with huge walls surrounding its garden but it’s abandoned. The Royal family left it, just after Darcy was born, and moved to the new castle in the middle of the country. Now it is the home to spiders and rats. Some people come to clean it but they just do it from outside so its condition inside is awful. But unlike Darcy, I love this place.

Darcy is the Royal princess who is sent here to spend the weekend…..with me?


“This place isn’t that bad,” I reply.

“That bad?” Darcy stops as I give her a look. “Ok, so, what are we even doing here in the first place?”

“I don’t know,” I shrug. “But now we are here, so I’m going to explore this place.”

Darcy rolls her eyes. “Do whatever you want, I’m not gonna come with you.”

I walk out of the room into the hallway. 

The walls of the hall are painted in a old, medieval styled paintings. I have to remove some webs to have a clear look at the paintings. 

They are so beautiful. That’s why I love this place because it shows our past, it shows what we are supposed to be, it shows the things we had once but will never have again.


Every tiny detail is mentioned very clearly; how our planet used to be a land of magic long, long ago. But then space started getting polluted and that pollution came to our planet and started destroying the magical elements. After some centuries, people from a planet named Arth came and fully destroyed our planet, destroying its magic.

People with magic are exiled. People who even talk about magic are exiled. Everybody hates the word magic.


It destroyed one more thing. That thing is shown in the paintings but people don’t notice it and even if they notice it, they don't understand it.

That thing is love.

Love of a mother towards her child, Love of a person towards its planet and family, Love of a King towards its citizens. Love of a spouse towards another, Love of a lover towards the other. They destroyed it all. People forgot what love meant. 

But I think I know what it means. 

“What is this?” Darcy speaks, making me jump. 

“When did you come here?” I ask.

“I was standing here all the time,” she says, “Now tell me what is this?”

She is pointing towards a painting of the Magical Crystal. The magical crystal that gave power to all the magical people. The same magical crystal that the Arthlings destroyed to destroy the magical people.

“It’s our Magical Crystal,” I say.

“Our?”

“Our ancestors.”

“Cas, these are all lies, there was nothing like this, there was no magic.”

“No, it is the truth, lies are what you’re telling me now.” 

Yes, lies are what they are telling us. They are all lies. This is another reason why I love this place and Darcy hates it. But Darcy hating this place doesn't mean that I hate her. I still love her and will always do.


We then explore other rooms in the castle, most of them are covered in grime and dust, their walls covered in paintings. 

After exploring many rooms, I enter a room. Darcy doesn't make any noise as she follows me into the room. It is just a simple room with plain walls but it’s different. It doesn't have any paintings like the rest of the room here. The huge Royal bed, couch, and all other stuff are covered. I move around the room. The air is filled with dust as I remove the covers. Darcy coughs a little and I’m by her side the very next second. 

“What happened?” I ask.

“N-” *Darcy coughs* “Nothing”

“Do you need water?”

“No,” *cough* 

I gesture her to sit down on the couch and run out of the room. I run down the stairs to the room in which we were sitting earlier and grab the backpack. I run back to the room as fast as I can to find Darcy coughing violently. I take the water bottle from the backpack and hand it to Darcy. After drinking some water, her coughing stops. I sit next to Darcy and take her hand in mine. 

She looks at the ceiling and lets her thoughts race in silence. She looks even more beautiful as she sits there peacefully. Her long light brown hairs tied back in a ponytail. Her small perfect lips closed in a tight line. Her ocean-blue eyes staring at some point in the distance. I stare at her for a long time, because I don’t want to look at anything else.


She suddenly looks up at me, “You really like me so much, right?”

I quickly look away, I feel embarrassed. 

“Yeah….um...I mean I would have done the same thing for anyone in your place.”

“But you like me,” Darcy says.

I stay quiet.

“You know, I also believe that what the paintings show is true. I said that they are lies because that’s what everybody wants us to say, they don’t want us to know that this is the truth.”

“I know, but we can change it, we can tell the people what is true and what is not.”

“Yeah, we can.” 

Again there is an awkward silence.

“You know why I hate this place?”

“Umm...no?”

“Because this place reminds me of my...of my mother.” 

Yeah, her mother. She was killed soon after Darcy’s birth, that’s what I think, by the Arthlings because she was a magical person. I don’t know the whole story but I think it was something related to Darcy being born with magical powers. I have been with Darcy for about 16 years and I don’t think that she has any magic, I would have loved it if she had magic but she doesn't have.

“Your mother was a nice lady,”

“Maybe...my father never talks about her, he hates her.”

“No, you’re wrong, he loved her and he still loves her, but he is hiding it because people don’t want him to love her.”

“Then we need to change that too.” I say with a little laugh.

“You know what?”

“Huh?”

“Your smile is the best smile I have ever seen.” Darcy says.

“You know what?”

“What?”

“That smile exists only because of you.” I reply.


September 19, 2020 03:40

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303 comments

I really loved your story!! Great job!😊

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
12:16 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you so much:)))

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
03:52 Sep 19, 2020

Author's note:- -Ok, so, this is my second story and I think that the first one was a lot better than this. -This is my first try at writing in 1st person so, I hope I didn't mess it up. Please comment and tell me what do you think. -I know, it is really short because I wanted it to be romance and romance sucks and it's not even romance and I started writing it just an hour and a half before the submissions closed so it is pretty messed up. -And yeah, I want to dedicate this story to my friend Ugochi, she motivated me to write ro...

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Keerththan 😀
07:16 Sep 19, 2020

See my comment, Deep. -its lovely. I like this one too. -No. You completely nailed it. Keep writing. -That's a nice thing. We have a lot in common. I write my fifth story in an hour.😁😁 -Waiting for it... -I have read some of her stories. Okay for the title. I really love the one presently. But I still had some suggestions. (please ignore it. Your title is awesome.) -Love is magical -Love is magic -Palace love(this completely is idiotic) Okay, if you are free. Come online at 7 30. Bye. See ya And thanks for the ...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
07:21 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!!! 7:30 pm? According to our time zone, right?

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Keerththan 😀
07:22 Sep 19, 2020

Welcome! Yeah! We are in the same country! Lol🤣🤣😂😂 (did you like your story?)

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
07:26 Sep 19, 2020

:) Yeah, Lol! Like means really liking the story or clicking that 'Like' button?

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Keerththan 😀
07:27 Sep 19, 2020

Like button.

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Keerththan 😀
07:10 Sep 19, 2020

Hey sis Came to read. This is a lovely story. Your imagination is wonderful and the story flowed smoothly. The ending was sad but the write up is really wonderful. I have some suggestions: 1)You have done a mistake that I had done when I was young. You used the word beautiful too many times. You can see it. It's also called blah blah word. I am not saying that it is a mistake. But you can use other words like stunning, gorgeous, etc. 2)“I was standing there all the time,” she says, “Now tell me what is this?” I think its 'here' ...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
07:18 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks for the feedback:) I'll edit the things you suggested. That comma and full stop mistake is because I wrote it really fast and just put whatever I came across, I'll edit them. Thanks again!!! I'll surely tell you when I'll write a new story. I'm online, what do you want to say??

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Keerththan 😀
07:20 Sep 19, 2020

No problem, Deep. I want to say that, I have done all these mistakes. It's like the exact mistakes I was picked on. That's a lot in common I think. Waiting for your next...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
07:32 Sep 19, 2020

:D

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Keerththan 😀
07:33 Sep 19, 2020

Okay.

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Keerththan 😀
07:37 Sep 19, 2020

Check my bio!

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
07:39 Sep 19, 2020

Ohh, thank you so much, bro.😭😭 I'll also add you to much bio.

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Lina Ozz
03:04 Sep 21, 2020

This is a lovely story! I love your command of dialogue, and I love the detail here. I saw that this is your first time writing in 1st person, and I think you did a wonderful job. I'm prone to using the present tense, so I like the voice you exude in this story. One thing you could think about as a writer of 1st person is concentrating on "your" emotions as the speaker; the idea of "show, not tell." For example, instead of saying, "I feel embarrassed," you could experiment with different ways of showing your feelings, such as, "I fee...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
03:08 Sep 21, 2020

Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you liked it. I'll surely work on that 'show, don't tell' thing. Thanks again:)))

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Lina Ozz
03:29 Sep 21, 2020

Of course! Excited to read more of your work! :)

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
03:30 Sep 21, 2020

Thanks!!! I will write more soon!!

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Orenda .
16:14 Sep 20, 2020

"But then space started getting polluted and that pollution came to our planet" -here i'd suggest SPREAD instead of CAME. "Love of a mother towards her child, Love of a person towards its planet and family, Love of a King towards its citizens. Love of a spouse towards another, Love of a lover towards the other. They destroyed it all. People forgot what love meant." i love this part sooo muchh i'm in love with your worldbuiliding. Very cool! I NEED more please:) aaaaaaaand, i'm very sorry for reading it so late, but it'...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
17:41 Sep 20, 2020

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm so glad you liked this. At least there is someone who really likes my worldbuilding. Sadly, I can't edit it now because it's already approved but thanks for the suggestion:)))

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Orenda .
19:15 Sep 20, 2020

there are surely more people who enjoy your world building, but haven't expressed it. oh, I didnt see that, but anyway, I'm always there to help ye:))

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
02:03 Sep 21, 2020

Thanks!!!

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22:31 Sep 19, 2020

- I loved your take on first person! There was something, though, that concerned me a little bit. "She looks at the ceiling and lets her thoughts race in silence." How does the narrator know that? It's first person. Maybe you should add something that makes the narrator infer that her thoughts are racing. -No, I actually really like this!! It did not seem at all like it was made in a hurry. You did well. -I might write a sequel/prequel of this story to make more sense of this. -The story is really good! Just one more thing. The "I r...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
08:23 Sep 20, 2020

THANK YOU SO MUCHH!!!!! I'm so glad you liked it!!!! I can't edit it now but I'll take care from next time. 'Ghostly Love' is nice but I'll stick with 'Magic of Love', thanks though. Oh, you didn't, instead I'm so happy that you read it!! Thanks:)))

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19:48 Sep 20, 2020

No problem!

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B. W.
23:07 Sep 23, 2020

I ain't sure if this'll do anything but i left something in my Bio for the downvoter and said something that they should comment and explain themselves. though it's probably a stupid idea because they probably wouldn't wanna reveal themselves

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Clara D Berry
20:56 Sep 21, 2020

Great job differentiating between "its" and "it's"! I know native speakers who still struggle with that! You did great with first person, too. I can't tell that you haven't done it before. Don't put down your writing! You are a fantastic writer! So great you can't even make romance suck! (And I totally agree with you that it usually does.) I like the worldbuilding here, and the relationship between Darcy and Cas was really sweet. I also really like the ending. The title you have now is fine. Thinking of a good title is really hard. Maybe...

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Keerththan 😀
07:27 Sep 22, 2020

I really wonder how you could fetch so many mistakes! Wonderful! Admire your editing skills! After that kind of reading your story from my side, I found just one. Still thinking of the many mistakes I had left out in my story!

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Clara D Berry
21:51 Sep 22, 2020

Thank you. I like editing. It's part of my perfectionist nature. Sometimes I don't even do it on purpose; mistakes and inconsistencies just jump out at me. I am working on being less critical and appreciating stories that have great content between the mistakes. It's easier to do that when I know the author is an English Language Learner who is working really hard on grammar (like you and your brother and Deepshikka) rather than a lazy native speaker who just doesn't care (like some people I know in real life). And while I'm at it I do point...

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Keerththan 😀
03:05 Sep 23, 2020

I will get one out this week. Exams are coming but I got writing a story. I will get it out today.

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
18:17 Sep 22, 2020

Thank you so much, Clara!!! I'm really glad that you liked it!!! I always have a problem with punctuation, basically, I'm kind of confused. Some people say put this comma here; some say to put a full stop here, blah blah. But I will stick with the punctuation that you told me because I know that you are more experienced, and know more about English than most of the people here. And yeah, thanks for pointing out all those errors. I edited them Google docs (that's where I write my stories). I'll try to correct my punctuation in my next pie...

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Clara D Berry
21:42 Sep 22, 2020

Wow, that's a high compliment! Thank you! I'm glad my corrections were not wasted since you do have a separate copy of your story that can be edited. I also tend to keep a separate copy elsewhere when I write for Reedsy. I hope you are safe as well.

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Keerththan 😀
03:04 Sep 23, 2020

I also do the same!

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
04:21 Oct 19, 2020

Hey Clara, I posted a new story, after a long time, mind checking it out?

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C.J 🤍
22:47 Sep 19, 2020

Loved it !!!

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
03:57 Sep 20, 2020

Thanks!!

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22:32 Sep 19, 2020

“That smile exists only because of you.” I REALLY LOVED THIS!!! That was so cute and sweet omggg

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
08:24 Sep 20, 2020

Thanks, Noor!!!! (I loved your name btw)

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19:48 Sep 20, 2020

aww thank you! I like yours too :)

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
02:00 Sep 21, 2020

Thanks!!😊

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Daniela Vaudrey
14:42 Sep 19, 2020

Great story Deepshikka! One thing I noticed that you could change is that instead of putting ‘now it is the home to’ you could write ‘now it is home to.’ Otherwise, great story!

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
14:43 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks for the feedback but my story is already approved so I can't change it now.

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Daniela Vaudrey
14:47 Sep 19, 2020

Yeah, that often happens. At least you’ll know for next time

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
14:48 Sep 19, 2020

Yeah, thanks:)

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Daniela Vaudrey
14:18 Sep 20, 2020

Can we do a point boost thing?

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
14:20 Sep 20, 2020

Yeah...um...sure!! Did you also got downvoted?

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08:05 Sep 19, 2020

Wow... This story was so cute and sweet !! Good Job !!

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
08:45 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!!

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09:21 Sep 19, 2020

:)

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Keerththan 😀
07:31 Sep 19, 2020

Enjoy school

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
07:45 Sep 19, 2020

Yas!

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Keerththan 😀
07:52 Sep 19, 2020

Do you know what is post apocalyptic?

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
08:56 Sep 19, 2020

It's a subgenre of sci-fi in which the world or its civilization has ended. You can Google it if you want more information.

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Keerththan 😀
08:57 Sep 19, 2020

I already googled it. But, I didn't understand. Thanks for helping. Gonna start a story. I have done some upvoting(you are 87 now)

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
09:00 Sep 19, 2020

What you didn't understand?? I already started a story!! Thanks, fam!!

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I'm reading... currently!

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I'm finished!

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Awesome story and so romantically sweet! I know you said this isn't romance but the dialogue between the two characters is so sweet! Love it D! BTW- it's so nice of you to dedicate this story to your friend! 😊

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
04:57 Sep 19, 2020

Thanks!!

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First to comment! Yay!

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Princemark Okibe
16:24 Oct 14, 2020

This story has amazing potential, I mean lots of potential. The idea can be used to write not just a novel but a trilogy. A novel about how the earthlings, sorry, Arthlings stole magic from their world and their quest to recover their glorious past and also recover love. All led by Cas as the main protagonist. I noticed some few errors like 'Love of a King towards its citizens' The 'its' should be 'his' Keerthan is right, you used beautiful a lot. There other suitable synonyms that will be right for the moment. I suspect you are i...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
17:38 Oct 16, 2020

Thank you so much!! I'm glad that you think so!! I never really thought about making a trilogy or even a stand-alone novel with this story but… after what you said, I’ll think about it. Yeah, I noticed those errors, too and many others also pointed them out but it was too late for me to edit them… Yeah, I’m an Indian! How do you know? By my writing? Or my name? And Batool is Pakistani? I didn’t know that!! She was the first writer whose work I read on Reedsy and she also my first favorite!! Yeah, there are many Indians on this site, ...

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Princemark Okibe
18:05 Oct 16, 2020

You are welcome. And don't tell Batool I told you she is Pakistani 😉 Best of luck.

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Zea Bowman
02:02 Oct 07, 2020

Hey, Deepshikha! First of all, great story! Second, I wanted to let you know that I wrote a "Zombies Sound Safer Than My Family - Part 2." You had read the first and seemed to enjoy it, so I was just letting you know that I had made a second if you wanted to check it out. :)

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Hriday Saboo
17:36 Sep 25, 2020

When’re we gettin a new story I’m waiting

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
11:34 Sep 26, 2020

Well, not anytime soon because I'm so busy. Thanks for asking:))

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Hriday Saboo
14:42 Sep 26, 2020

K

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Andrew Krey
15:51 Sep 24, 2020

Hi Deepshikha, I liked your story, it was an interesting concept for the world you've created. There were some minor errors, but that would be expected from writing it so quickly, and doesn't detract from the story. I would suggest being mindful of the show don't tell rule, there was a lot of "telling" the reader in your story, rather than "showing" by having the reader experience it as your character experiences it. This is also a big benefit of using first person too. It's a balance between the two, so is hard to get perfect. I hope ...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
16:00 Sep 24, 2020

Thank you so much!!! I try to show rather than tell but it just don't happen. Can you please give me some advice or examples of 'show, don't tell' thing?

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Andrew Krey
16:35 Sep 24, 2020

You're welcome. Show is especially hard with short stories, as you have have to build a world that makes sense to the reader in the lowest number of words as possible. And of course, happy to give examples. The main one that came to mind was the crystal. You gave the backstory of what it was, but despite the character looking at it we (as the reader) don't get a physical description. In terms of balance, it would be better to give more of the physical description, so we feel like we are looking at it too, then reference the backstory, lik...

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
16:41 Sep 24, 2020

Thanks!! Yes, this was helpful. I'll try using it in my next stories. Thanks again:))

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Andrew Krey
17:24 Sep 24, 2020

Great, glad I could help, good luck :)

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The Cold Ice
04:39 Sep 24, 2020

I love the tittle”Magic of love”.I liked the story.Great job keep it up.Super story.Keep writing.Well written. Would you mind to read my story “The dragon warrior part 2?”

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
07:04 Sep 24, 2020

Thanks!! Sure, little bro!!! I'll read it soon.

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The Cold Ice
07:12 Sep 24, 2020

Welcome! Thanks!

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The Cold Ice
03:22 Sep 27, 2020

Hey Deepshikha would you mind giving a feedback in my story

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ᗰooᑎ ♫ ♪
04:40 Sep 27, 2020

I'm really busy, bro. I'll gave feedback ASAP.

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The Cold Ice
04:54 Sep 27, 2020

Thanks.

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B. W.
04:40 Sep 23, 2020

Oh gosh i dunno what to do, i'm already kinda stressed out still with all this COVID and other stuff that's going on but now people are leaving?? I know Brooke said she'd only be gone for about a week or so but she'd still be gone for a while and she might change her mind and go off forever. There's some other friend's on here that i know as well who have also been getting down-voted and now i'm just scared that they'll leave as well and i don't know what to do

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