488 comments

Drama Fiction Teens & Young Adult

The three of us walked down the long stretched out hall-way as I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable to come. It started almost immediately once those idiots saw her barely enter the classroom.


"Vivian you have such a beautiful name!" they would excitedly say and then it would always be followed by, "Can we please be friends? You are so popular."


Her inevitable responses would always end up being, "Aw You have a beautiful name as well" which would quickly be followed up by "Of course we can I'd love that."


I tried my best to make myself not hear any of this during the classes but again, all of this was just inevitable, and no matter what I was able to hear it. The popular girl was of course going to have some fangirls there.


"Vivian, why do you hang out with that girl? nothing is special about her." one of her idiotic fangirls had asked her after the first class. I don't even understand why this girl has fangirls, she's just someone.


I could hear her begin to speak but I didn't want to stick around and see what she was going to tell the girl. Besides, I think I have a feeling about what she was already going to say.


"Oh, I just feel so bad for her and so I'm letting her hang out with me until she finds actual friends. We weren't friends to begin with, I just feel bad."


Though I hadn't been looking where I was going when I walked out into the cafeteria and then proceeded to bump into someone. "Oh gosh, Ivy are you alright?"


Oh great. "Hello, Ash...how's your life been being together with the popular girl?"


Yep, that's right, every popular girl always needs to have a boyfriend with them. Though all of Vivian's stupid fangirls and everyone else didn't seem to really care about Ash, it was just about her.


I again didn't want to stay that long in the cafeteria to see what he would say and I speed-walked out of there. There were still five classes to go to, but I didn't go to them. Not like anyone would notice that I'm missing.


Finally, the bell soon rang, it felt like absolute music in my ears every day. Though it was always a bit loud and I felt almost deaf for a while, though that was good as well, I wouldn't have to hear Vivian's stupid fans.


I ran towards the exit and quickly left Vivian high, and yes that was the actual name of the school. Though it seemed like it was a big present for her and not just the name, this was probably one of the reasons she decided to go here.


It's almost like I could hear her obnoxious voice telling her fan-girls, "Isn't it great everyone? My name was beautiful enough to be the name of something great."


I've wished for a long time that maybe, just maybe one day maybe Zeus could just come down here and get rid of Vivian. He's a greek god and it's Zeus, he could do anything he wants.


Though that was likely to never happen at any point in time, though I wish it would. This isn't a fantasy though, this is just reality.


"Hey, Ivy wait up!"


If it had been Vivian or one of those other people that I've mentioned I would have just kept going, Though I realized it was Ash. He wasn't that bad compared to the others so I decided to stop, at least for him.


"What do you want, Ash? don't you have to be with your girl-friend right about now?"


He seemed to look around the area we were in before lightly chuckling and then speaking, "We have nothing else to really do and Vivian has an old tree-house, would you want to come with us?"


Hm, a treehouse? why would she ever want a tree-house? She could be going on a cruise or something right about now if she wanted to, but she decides to be at a tree-house? Wait...I got a perfect idea.


I must have been in my thoughts for quite a while because Ash was snapping his fingers to get my attention and he seemed a bit impatient. I then simply nodded with a smirk on my face as I walked back to my place.


"Uh...bye! see ya later I guess."


I had a while before I had to go and see the two at her place and the tree-house, so I was left at my house with only my thoughts. They would keep me company, I hope. Wait, do I really wanna try and do this?


I didn't know what to do for the past few hours and the question kept coming up in my mind every so often. The clock on the wall showed me that it was time for me to go.


The clock continued to tick from behind me as I then opened the door and headed for her place, the answer to the question I had been wondering I now knew. Yes. Yes, I will.


"Ivy, You made it!" Two voices which must have been Vivian and Ash say in unison from the backyard. I don't know how they could have seen me since I hadn't even seen them, there were trees covering the whole Tree-house.


While I carefully began to climb up the unsteady ladder I could already imagine in full visuals of what was to come. Vivian was loudly talking on her phone now in which I heard her say, "No they haven't said anything, I'm not sure if ill be in the movie."


"Wait...What?!"


Snap!


In anger, just as I started reaching the top of the tree-house, I end up managing to break off a piece of the old rusted ladder. I swear it would have turned into a million pieces if it hadn't landed in the soft grass, where it only lost a few more pieces.


"You're going to be in a movie?!"


Ash carefully walked over to me as he began to try and lead me to something as he spoke, "She's not in the movie yet, she auditioned and doesn't know. It's not even that big of one either, you shouldn't worry."


He sat me down on a small blue bean-bag that looked like the ocean in a way, though none of us said anything, we just stared. That wasted about five or ten minutes while we tried to think of what to say.


Eventually, Ash awkwardly coughed to get our attention as he then suggested, "Why don't I go and get us some drinks or something? Vivian's mother has some in the kitchen."


"Alright Ashy be back soon!"


I watch him carefully go down the ladder and really slowly as well, almost like a turtle or a sloth in a way. Once he finally got down and back into the kitchen, It was time for me to put my plan into action.


Though it was still a bit awkward as the two of us just stared at each other until I then asked her, "Wait, Vivian, do you maybe see that?" I pointed to the edge of the tree-house.


"Huh?"


"Go check it out!"


Vivian, a bit confused, stared at me until she got off of her stool and got near the edge while trying to find the thing that I mentioned. I quickly got up behind her with a large smirk on my face. This should be enough to get rid of her...


"You know, Vivian...maybe you shouldn't be standing that close to the edge, you could maybe fall" I laugh while I don't have time to see how she reacts, I shove her off the tree-house.


I look down to watch and see what happens, I can see her terrified and confused face look back at me, not knowing what's going on. When she was going to hit the ground though, I looked away not wanting to see it, though I could hear it.

November 11, 2020 04:19

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

488 comments

Hello there B! You asked me to critique on your story, so here I am!! Honestly, all of your stories have the same amazing quality, and it's true! Every time you ask me to read your story, I get really excited, because I know it is going to be an adventure it self!! Thank you for notifying every time you write a story! Your story was honestly speechless! I am amazed by the quality of it! 😃 My first appreciation is, (all though I have a very LONG list of things I love about your story, I am not going to include all of them because you will ...

Reply

B. W.
16:10 Nov 11, 2020

Thank you, im glad ya liked the story and ill try to go fix all of that stuff ya said soon ^^ though what do ya maybe think about Ivy and what she ended up doing at the ending of the story?

Reply

Idk, I think she deserve it...

Reply

B. W.
16:34 Nov 11, 2020

why do ya think she deserved it?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Liza Anne
04:32 Nov 11, 2020

Why did you ask me to help you plan this when you already wrote it?

Reply

B. W.
04:34 Nov 11, 2020

This isn't the game thing, this is something completely different, the game thing is gonna be something else that has the same character names because I really like the names and stuff

Reply

Liza Anne
04:38 Nov 11, 2020

But you asked for my help with this prompt with those characters. It doesn't make sense for it to be for something else, there isn't another betrayal prompt, and these are the characters you told me about.

Reply

B. W.
04:40 Nov 11, 2020

I was wanting to try and do a realistic story for once, so I decided to go with what you see in this story while having at least the same character names, cuz this isn't how they'd act in the other thing since they are completely different characters and stuff. I can still do the betrayal thing with the game thing when the newer prompts come out, I'm sure I could find something.

Reply

Liza Anne
04:45 Nov 11, 2020

I'm sure you can, and I'm sure it will be really good. But I don't think I can help you anymore.

Reply

B. W.
04:46 Nov 11, 2020

For just that story or for everything and ya wont help me with anything anymore?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Emma Sunshine
18:57 Nov 16, 2020

Hello, B.W. I noticed that every time you ask other people to exchange upvote sprees, you only do 0-25 points, while the other people do 100+. I do not know if this is intended, but if it is, that is quite a rude thing to do (asking other people to give you hundreds of points, and only giving a few in return). It might start to annoy people and eventually, they might not want to do any more upvote sprees for you. Please start to actually take into consideration the fact that they are spending quite a bit of time giving you more points and yo...

Reply

B. W.
19:11 Nov 16, 2020

If you MUST know I've been a bit busy lately with some work or sometimes I've just forgotten to go on a big one because once I get that much I switch back onto my working stuff. I've upvoted a lot of friends over 100+ a few times to get them higher and some other people. why are you asking and telling me this though? were ya maybe looking at all the upvotes and stuff from a while ago? also I may have seen your comment to Elizabeth about me and the LGBTQ thing and uh- thanks.

Reply

Emma Sunshine
19:23 Nov 16, 2020

You may be busy, but I am sure other people are, too. You might have upvoted a few friends 100+ points, but it isn’t fair to the other friends who give you hundreds of points and you only give them 5. I only come on Reedsy a few times a week but when I do I make sure to upvote people the amount requested, but you are on Reedsy for hours every single day, so I imagine that you should be able to find the time. And yes, I actually have. I have made it my job to get rid of unfairness on Reedsy, and this is on the list. - Emma Sunshine

Reply

B. W.
19:27 Nov 16, 2020

It's not like im doing it on purpose though, I wouldn't do that to friends or anyone else on here, like I said im busy or I just sometimes forget because im stupid sometimes :/ Though ill go back to some people and try and upvote them about 100 or maybe 50 points if we go on a up-vote spree or something, though im not sure if they'd be on or something.

Reply

Emma Sunshine
21:11 Nov 16, 2020

Okay, thank you, B.W. I am sorry if I was being too blunt, it's just who I am. (I'm not just accusing you, I've done it to other people) And you are not stupid, you write wonderful stories, you are just a little forgetful - which, of course, is forgivable and completely understandable. :)

Reply

B. W.
21:50 Nov 16, 2020

yeah- i was about to kind of say that but I didn't wanna come off rude or something, because you accused Aerin a while ago of being a down-voter and then you just kind of accused me and I'm not sure if ya did it to anyone else. I'm not a 'little' forgetful man- i can forget something that happened like a few minutes or hours ago. But I remember things from like 5 years ago and I cant remember something simple :/

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Amany Sayed
04:38 Nov 11, 2020

OOh, looks like the popular girl got what she deserved...Overall liked this story, the plot line was interesting and not ONE grammar mistake I'm so proud of ya B :) The beginning was a little confusing and hard to read...I don't know, maybe it's just me. See, I can't pinpoint anything, but it sounds wrong some parts. Like who's the three of us in the start? Also sometimes it's unclear if it's something that's happened before or it's actually happened. A couple of tense mistakes here and there, but it happens to the best of us. For your f...

Reply

B. W.
04:42 Nov 11, 2020

"The three of us" means Ivy, Ash and Vivian. Though thanks, I'm glad ya liked the story ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part or something?

Reply

Amany Sayed
04:44 Nov 11, 2020

Ah ok. Probably the ending lol

Reply

B. W.
04:46 Nov 11, 2020

did the ending maybe surprise ya or something?

Reply

Amany Sayed
04:49 Nov 11, 2020

Yes and it made me feel like cackling mwahahaha

Reply

B. W.
04:50 Nov 11, 2020

wait, and ya think that Vivian deserved it?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Felicity Anne
16:53 Nov 12, 2020

Hey B! I'm so glad you wrote yet another story!!! This one is so amazing! With each new story you write, they just keep getting better and better! My favorite part about this story was that you told this from the perspective of a popular kid. In a lot of books and short stories I read, we have this offhand, second thought popular jerk who is just there to be the kinda-sorta antagonist. Because you told this from the perspective of the popular kid, it made your story so unique and interesting to read! The ending shocked and surprised m...

Reply

B. W.
17:33 Nov 12, 2020

what? Ivy isn't really a popular kid, she was just sort of with the two? though thanks, I'm glad ya liked the story and all that ^^ you really think Vivian deserved that at the end though?

Reply

Felicity Anne
17:37 Nov 12, 2020

I was referring to the others, sorry for the confusion, B! I did I loved it! Kinda-sorta, I'm not 100% sure though. Just because I'm not sure though, doesn't mean that your writing wasn't fantastic! Again, amazing job, B!!

Reply

B. W.
17:51 Nov 12, 2020

do ya think there should be a second part or anything like that?

Reply

Felicity Anne
19:12 Nov 12, 2020

Oooh that would be amazing!!!

Reply

B. W.
19:33 Nov 12, 2020

it would?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Raquel Rodriguez
17:09 Nov 11, 2020

You asked me to check out your story, so here I am! :) I like the plot and the names and everything, but (no offense) I do think Vivian's part in the story is a bit cliché and the dialogue isn't very realistic. Other than those mistakes, your spelling is a bit inconsistent, such as here, 'Hm, a treehouse? why would she ever want a tree-house? She could be going on a cruise or something right about now if she wanted to, but she decides to be at a tree-house?' You switch between 'treehouse' and 'tree-house' you should choose one of the...

Reply

B. W.
17:11 Nov 11, 2020

Thanks, im glad ya liked the story ^^ what do ya think about Ivy and what she ended up doing at the end of the story?

Reply

Raquel Rodriguez
17:20 Nov 11, 2020

I didn't expect the end, but I don't really like Ivy for doing what she did. :P It was surprising though, so good job on that! :)

Reply

B. W.
17:33 Nov 11, 2020

do ya think vivian deserved it?

Reply

Raquel Rodriguez
17:38 Nov 11, 2020

No, not at all. I don't think Ivy can just weigh Vivian's life in her own hands, because everyone deserves to live a happy life.

Reply

B. W.
17:40 Nov 11, 2020

what do ya think will happen to Ivy?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Jubilee Forbess
14:08 Nov 11, 2020

It reminds me of Heathers and Carrie but also, what did Vivian do besides just being popular? I didn’t see anything where she was actually being cruel or mean so I ended up not liking Ivy, but feeling bad for Viv and Ash. Also I saw someone else say there weren’t any grammatical mistakes and there are a few things I noticed, especially in dialogue, but I think Ria took care of those so I won’t dwell on it. The writing was good, I’m just left wondering what the heck is wrong with Ivy that she would resort to murder because people like someone...

Reply

B. W.
16:07 Nov 11, 2020

How is it not that realistic though? Though thanks and I'm still glad that ya sorta liked the story ^^ whatever Vivian ever did though, was a secret :) You all might have to try and find that all out yourselves, so ya hate Ivy?

Reply

Jubilee Forbess
16:39 Nov 11, 2020

I mean, I'm not a fan of her, no.

Reply

B. W.
16:51 Nov 11, 2020

do ya think there should be another part or something?

Reply

Jubilee Forbess
17:17 Nov 11, 2020

No, I don't think so, it was fine as a one part story.

Reply

B. W.
17:33 Nov 11, 2020

wait, why doesnt it seem realistic though?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
04:56 Nov 11, 2020

Ooooh, I really enjoyed this! It had an interesting yet down-to-Earth plot line with a surprise ending. I’d love a part 2! And you’re sooooo improving on grammar and stuff, so the technical bits are great top! All in all, awesome job, Bri 😄

Reply

B. W.
04:57 Nov 11, 2020

Thank you, im glad that ya liked the story ^^ well, what did ya think about the ending since it was so surprising and stuff? and what would you even want to happen in a part 2 if there ever was one?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Zilla Babbitt
21:40 Nov 19, 2020

That escalated quickly! I have a new idea for you, B. A sequel to this, but from Vivian's point of view. It would be interesting to see the perspective of the popular girl. I don't think there are that many stories that do that. I like the ending in a dark kind of way. I like that she took action. One thing that should be fixed here though is Vivian's provocativeness. She's just the popular girl, there's no evidence of her bullying the main character. The mc isn't justified in pushing her off (possibly killing her) just because she's "to...

Reply

B. W.
22:10 Nov 19, 2020

There are some other reasons to why Ivy ended up doing all that stuff and why she didn't like her that much besides Vivian being "too popular" and "too pretty" even if those weren't stated in the thing. I don't think I want to have a sequel or anything like that for this story though, I already have a lot of series going on at the moment and I just want some stories to be a stand-alone type thing and a bit mysterious, do ya kinda get what I mean?

Reply

Zilla Babbitt
00:48 Nov 20, 2020

I sure do. It's good as a standalone too :)

Reply

B. W.
01:53 Nov 20, 2020

I also have like 4 or a bit more series here going on and i'd probably forget about this, while I'm also working on like 7 or so novels.

Reply

Zilla Babbitt
16:23 Nov 21, 2020

Wow! Good luck on that, haha. How are they going? Do you tend to write nice and fast or does it take you a while to get out a story/chapter?

Reply

B. W.
18:58 Nov 21, 2020

I get my stories out a bit quickly though it kinda takes me a while to do some stuff with any of my novels I do

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Raquel Rodriguez
22:37 Nov 17, 2020

So, how do I do the stuff for my bio? I really want it to be different, and I want to represent you guys in a really good way bc you all are so niceeee!!!!

Reply

B. W.
22:38 Nov 17, 2020

well, maybe you could describe each of us of what you think of us? Like Nice, funny or something like that? i don't exactly know but you could maybe do something like that while maybe having a nickname for each of them or something? just look at some other peoples bio's like Kylies and see what they did.

Reply

Raquel Rodriguez
22:41 Nov 17, 2020

alright, so I'm going to feature: ~ You ~ Kylie ~ Sia ~ Ria ~ Arham ~ Izzie ~ Amany ~ Aine ~ Megan ~ Avery ~ Blair yeah

Reply

B. W.
23:05 Nov 17, 2020

nice ^^ so when do ya think you'll put us all on it?

Reply

Raquel Rodriguez
23:10 Nov 17, 2020

Probably today after I finish homework and stop procrastinating, lol ;)

Reply

B. W.
23:14 Nov 17, 2020

alright ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
21:54 Nov 15, 2020

Awesome work! Love the dark ending--I can see you growing as a writer with every new story. :)

Reply

B. W.
22:32 Nov 15, 2020

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ what do ya think about Ivy and do ya think Vivian deserved it at the end?

Reply

23:13 Nov 15, 2020

Hmm, I think Ivy is a really embittered person. Personally, I don't think Vivian deserved it. No matter what people may say or possess, it doesn't give us the right to intentionally cause major bodily harm to them. In addition, Vivian was never actually mean to Ivy on camera (for lack of a better word)--Ivy left before Vivian could say anything. Who knows, maybe Vivian defended her friend.

Reply

B. W.
23:40 Nov 15, 2020

would you ever want a second part to this or anything like that? what do ya even think would happen if there was one?

Reply

23:45 Nov 15, 2020

No clue! A second part would be interesting.

Reply

B. W.
23:56 Nov 15, 2020

It would most likely end up being a prequel and not a direct sequel from what just happened in this part, probably to show her and Vivians past

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ariadne .
06:01 Nov 11, 2020

The Grammar Police has arrived! "Vivian you have such a beautiful name!" they would excitedly say and then it would always be followed by, "Can we please be friends? You are so popular." ~ Try this: "Vivian, you have such a beautiful name!" they would excitedly say. It would always be followed by, "Can we please be friends? You are so popular." Her inevitable responses would always end up being, "Aw You have a beautiful name as well" which would quickly be followed up by "Of course we can I'd love that." ~ Some errors in the punctuati...

Reply

B. W.
06:09 Nov 11, 2020

dang it- everyone else said nothing was wrong with that stuff and I didn't see anything wrong with it either. I honestly don't have answer for the ending though, I can say that they were better friends in middle and elementary school though she found her annoying even in those grades. Do ya hate the ending and some of the other stuff for this story though? I just had her hang out with V because in a small way she didn't want to leave her but it was other reasons with her being popular and all that, she also thought that Ash would just make ...

Reply

Ariadne .
06:24 Nov 11, 2020

No, no! It's all cool. That actually makes sense. So Vivian was nice and not so popular in middle school so they were close, but after they got to high school, she became popular and that makes people change so it works. I don't HATE the ending, I just think death is a bit too unrealistic. Maybe severely injured. You left it open to interpretation so the story itself is fine, but you said V died in the comments and I was like whoooaaa what now? But yeah, the ending in the story is okay. Your stories are NOT crappy. Not the slightest b...

Reply

B. W.
06:29 Nov 11, 2020

No, she was still sort of popular in middle school but not that much, and she was never popular in elementary school at all. Well yes, I wanted the character to die, and the treehouse like a very small one story thing, its like a 3 or 4 story thing, or maybe 5, i haven't fully thought of that part but yeah she dies. Welp, I was trying to do a realistic story though and I couldn't even do that right :/ how are they not crappy though? It's not just with the small errors, its everything with them, they just always seem so bad tbh. Though I can ...

Reply

Ariadne .
23:52 Nov 11, 2020

Yeah, I thought so. Your story is realistic enough, as long as V doesn't DIE. That just takes away the entire realistic approach to the story. They aren't! We're always thinking the worst of our writing but it really isn't. Sure, we can all improve, but we're trying to get better and that is all that matters in the end. Nope. He reads my stories some others, but he doesn't have an account.

Reply

B. W.
00:00 Nov 12, 2020

what if i said that the treehouse was really high up though when she fell? it was already high off the ground and all that, wouldn't it make sense for her to die?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Lucas Zhou
04:30 Dec 17, 2020

the ending was a bit bloody... loved the story though😎😀😀😁

Reply

B. W.
05:00 Dec 17, 2020

thanks ^^

Reply

Lucas Zhou
05:36 Dec 17, 2020

:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
19:24 Dec 05, 2020

Oh. my. Gosh. Will Vivian be okay? The thing about the sound made it seem like she broke her neck or something... Was it minor, or did she actually die?

Reply

B. W.
19:54 Dec 05, 2020

No Vivian isn't okay and she died, i haven't thought of the way that caused her to die besides falling out of it, but I think you'd be right with her breaking her neck.

Reply

20:16 Dec 05, 2020

Whoah... That's gonna be a lot on your character's conscience. Some time later, she's going to think "If only I could take that back!" Vivian wa a mean girl, but she didn't deserve to be killed. That's harsh. Bit it gives the story a great edge, if you think about it.

Reply

B. W.
20:38 Dec 05, 2020

Where does it show that Vivian is a mean girl?

Reply

20:41 Dec 05, 2020

She was just kind of nasty. Not a mean girl I guess, just not very nice to some of the other characters Through my eye, it looked like she was being kind of a jerk around them. Y'know, popular girl stuff.

Reply

B. W.
20:46 Dec 05, 2020

What does she do though that makes her seem nasty to you?

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
23:09 Nov 20, 2020

Nice! The plot was interesting, and the end was unexpected! Great work!

Reply

B. W.
23:41 Nov 20, 2020

thanks ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?

Reply

23:28 Nov 21, 2020

Probably the end. It was pretty intense.

Reply

B. W.
01:04 Nov 22, 2020

thanks ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Ray Dyer
19:06 Nov 20, 2020

Hello! Just finished reading this one, and I have to say that I enjoy the natural tone of the story. It's written in first-person, and the narrator sounds natural telling it. This paragraph stood out to me: I again didn't want to stay that long in the cafeteria to see what he would say and I speed-walked out of there. There were still five classes to go to, but I didn't go to them. Not like anyone would notice that I'm missing. I liked the image of "speed-walking" out of there. It put a smile on my face, because I've totally been ...

Reply

B. W.
19:30 Nov 20, 2020

Thank you, im glad ya liked it ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Raquel Rodriguez
15:41 Nov 14, 2020

Hey B! My story came out for the last contest, I did it at the last second, could you check it out? It's called 'Love Ya 'Till The Cash Comes'

Reply

Show 0 replies
06:41 Nov 14, 2020

Goodness B! What a story! I knew I didn't like Ivy from the start, but I felt kind of sympathetic towards her. i thought if she would just exit her bubble and cast of her prejudices, she would have been nice. But then I continued reading and I began to be challenged by her, I mean. we have at some point felt "hatred" towards someone for no reason at all, and I saw how she is not different from most of us in regards to her feelings. The had me stuck to the screen, I hoped she wouldn't, but she did. I guess she is the extremes of our not so ni...

Reply

B. W.
07:06 Nov 14, 2020

well, first i have to say this, welcome to Reedsy and I hope you have a great time here and all of that ^^ you should probably tell me whenever you get a story out or anything like that, I'd love to read it at some point. And thank you so much, I'm glad that you liked the story, this was actually my first time doing just a regular realistic type story, because all of my stories besides this are fantasy and mostly have Greek mythology stuff, I didn't really like it at first but I guess everyone seems to like it ^^ do ya feel bad about Vivian ...

Reply

07:34 Nov 14, 2020

Vivian doesn't give me a reason to hate. like when the "fangirls" asked her why she hung around with Ivy, we don't get hear her response. Ivy might be a unreliable source because she already seems to hate Vivian from the beginning. Ivy thinks Ash is kind of a nice guy, so him being with Vivian kind of makes me think she isn't the "mean girl" Ivy portrays her to be. So I don't think she deserved it, I really sympathize with her. But someone just doesn't kick you off a treehouse without you having done something bad towards them, so maybe t...

Reply

B. W.
07:38 Nov 14, 2020

Ivy has a few reasons for doing this to Vivian besides her being really popular at the school, even if the reasons weren't really stated that much or at all in the story. What do you think would happen or what would you want to happen in the next part, if there was one?

Reply

07:44 Nov 14, 2020

I would like to see how Ivy developed such a hatred towards Vivian. Maybe something that can partly, not fully, excuse her actions in the tree house. And her feelings after incident, does regret? is she satisfied? stuff like that

Reply

B. W.
07:46 Nov 14, 2020

I could possibly make something like a prequel at some point?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Phebe Emmanuel
19:26 Nov 12, 2020

This is a great story! I didn't quite understand the ending, but it was great!

Reply

B. W.
19:34 Nov 12, 2020

what don't you understand about the ending? maybe I could help ya

Reply

Phebe Emmanuel
22:44 Nov 12, 2020

I'm not quite sure what happened to Vivian...

Reply

B. W.
23:12 Nov 12, 2020

I could explain that to ya so you could know what happened and all that?

Reply

Phebe Emmanuel
21:11 Nov 13, 2020

Yeah. What happened?

Reply

B. W.
22:00 Nov 13, 2020

Basically before she went there, Ivy got a plan to do something and once she got to the treehouse and all that, she decided to fully do it. Once Ash left like it said in the story, Ivy proceeded to push Vivian off of it while it was really high off the ground, which causes Vivian to die.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
04:33 Nov 11, 2020

This is so cool - probably one of the most realistic stories that you've written. It's really well-written! Good job!

Reply

B. W.
04:34 Nov 11, 2020

thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ what did ya think about the ending and stuff?

Reply

04:54 Nov 11, 2020

Such a cliffhanger! Hey, can you check out my bio? Thanks!!

Reply

B. W.
04:55 Nov 11, 2020

did ya do a thing like the others have been doing?

Reply

05:09 Nov 11, 2020

yep!

Reply

B. W.
05:10 Nov 11, 2020

I dont know what i'd be :/ what do ya think about Ivy and what she did at the end?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.