Her hair was as blonde as the sun, and her eyes as silver as the moon. She wore our usual black dress just like everyone else at our school, but the way her sharp chin and bright eyes contrasted with it, she was as beautiful as time itself. She smiled, and curtsied right then and there in front of me, leaving me only to blink.
My own hair was as red as a lion’s mane, or perhaps a dying tiger lily. My eyes looked like little olives, in both shape and color. But somehow, she had chosen to curtsy to me.
“Hello,” she said, her smile bright and burning like my hair. “My name is Noemi. I will be sharing your dormitory.”
I nodded, clumsily curtsying in response. “I’m Emila,” I muttered under my breath, my tangled hair flopping onto my face. “Welcome, I guess.”
“But aren’t you new here as well, Ms. Emila?” She was so dainty, so delicate. It would hurt me to tell her I had misspoken, and even more to tell her I had lied. So I simply shrugged, letting her presume what she wanted to.
“Ah, I see. You must have come earlier, then.”
I nodded, breaking eye contact with her as I ran up the stairs. She smiled, rushing after me with her clicking shoes. “Ms. Emila,” she said, as I flopped myself onto the bed closer to the window. “I would really like it if we could get to know each other since we will be spending so much time together. Where are you from?”
I brought the blanket over my face as I tried to drown in my disappointment. “I’m from Atoria,” I grumbled out, letting my distaste show. “And I don’t need a friend.”
Noemi let out a chuckle, leaning her head back. “Oh, Ms. Emila. Everyone needs a friend. Especially in such a dreary place as this.”
This time, it was my turn to laugh. “You call this place dreary?” I asked her, bringing my head up from under the blanket. “Roasir is beautiful. When we were walking through the streets this morning, all I could think about were the bright buildings and cobblestones. I-”
She laughed again, and I blushed, my cheeks turning only a shade lighter than my hair. “Never mind,” I said, bringing my head down once more. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it matters, Ms. Emila.” She paused, looking out the window I had chosen my bed by. It was a small window, but the room was easily large enough for the two of us. I would have preferred a room alone, though. I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t need friends in Roasir. “I only meant that this room was quite drafty. You see, I am from Calintera. We have the same cobblestones, but ours are-”
“In hexagons, yes, I know.” I grumbled it out again. I didn’t want her to see how fascinating the pavement was to me, especially not here at the academy. Here, our interests must solely be on our studies and becoming proper ladies, not on architecture or anything else of the sort.
Here, we are trapped.
I blame it on the war, for tearing the world apart. But Noemi probably doesn’t care. She probably only focuses on her studies and the way the world should be.
I yawned, turning towards the window. The view was lovely, though I doubt Noemi noticed. The sun was setting in the sky, and the moon’s faint glow and pale sickle shape reigned over the town. The oranges of the sunset looked beautiful against the blue roofs of Roasir.
“Night, Noemi,” I said, closing the curtain. “We better get to sleep. First day’s tomorrow.”
She smiled. “Goodnight, Ms. Emila.”
۞۞۞
I woke up to the calls of birds flying over our dormitory, swooping over the sky. Noemi glanced my way from her bed by the door, already putting on her shoes. “Hello again, Ms. Emila,” she said, giving me a small wave. I smiled back at her, quickly frowning when she wasn’t looking. Silently, I began to get dressed for the day.
She sat there on her bed the whole time, looking away from me. Waiting to come to class together.
I laughed. “Noemi, you can go on,” I said, strapping on my boots. “You don’t need to wait for me.”
She smiled, scrunching her bright silver eyes. “But I want to,” she said, holding out her hand to help me up. “Is that alright, Ms. Emila?”
I shrugged. “You don’t have to call me Ms., either,” I said. “Just Emila is fine.”
She nodded, her hair tied up in a neat bun. “Alright, Emila,” she said, still waiting for me to take her hand. “Let’s go to class.”
I ignore it, bringing myself up on my own.
۞۞۞
One night, I ran away.
I watched to make sure Noemi was sleeping, carefully opening the door. I slipped on my boots once I got outside, so as to make sure no one heard me leaving. I rushed out, running through the streets, the moon now full, looking just like Noemi’s silver eyes.
As soon as I got out of the building, I laughed. I laughed and laughed, running through the town, dodging honking cars and even the occasional horse and carriage. Finally, I was free, and I knew exactly what I wanted to see.
Silently, I ran as fast as I could towards the old clock tower in the center of town, hoping to get a glimpse of the stained glass windows on the side of the clock. I gasped, seeing the lights from inside the building, where the clockmaker slaves away, fixing the gears so the clock can run properly.
Every night in Roasir, I hear the clock strike midnight. I wanted to go see it, to see the stained glass where the clockmaker works. But I never could, as we were never let out.
I smiled.
Suddenly, I felt someone’s arm on my shoulder, I gasped, my heart beating rapidly as I turned around to see who it was.
“The clock is quite beautiful, Emila.”
I frowned, squinting at her face. Her pale silver eyes and bright blonde hair illuminated the sky with the moon, so I knew exactly who she was, but I wanted to see her expression.
I wanted to see if she would turn me in.
“You know, M- I mean, Emila, if it weren’t for the war, I would have liked to be an artist. I used to paint all the time at home in Calintera, even pictures of our own clock tower.”
I stared at her while she stared at the clock. “Yeah,” I said. “I would have been an architect. I love even the smallest details of new places. My dream is to craft my own city skyline.”
Then, I remembered who I was talking to. “You won’t turn me in, right?” I asked.
She laughed, a bright smile coming over her face. “Of course not, Emila. We’re friends now.”
I turned my attention away from her face and back towards the face of the clock. “Yeah,” I said, reaching to take her hand. “Friends.”
Together, we stared at the clock until the sun rose again, the wind blowing as we laughed and spoke about the war and our dreams until it was time for class to start.
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91 comments
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Thanks, A.g.! I thought about adding more difficulty escaping the school and the Noemi helping Emila get out, but I felt like it would become more plot based and not fit the story quite as well, so I decided to just stick with what I had. I'll check out your story as soon as I have time today!
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Yeah, I get that. I'm working on a novella based on my story Ink, and it has more plot, so I definitely will put out a more plot based story soon to practice writing in that style.
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Hey, just so you know, here's a shortened version of your novella link that works the same: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08W4NGT9J/
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Oh, awesome! Thanks! Did you start it yet?
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I am! Question: You use largely Greek and Asian myths in your stories. "Asian" seems so broad though... is there a more specific term that fits your East Asian myth retellings?
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Hmm, well, I think I'd go with East Asian.
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Here you go! https://reedsy.com/discovery/user/zilla-babbitt
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Thank you! Would you mind putting your review on Amazon and/or Goodreads as well? I'm trying to get more reviews on both of those platforms. :)
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Sounds good.
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The end struck me. Noemi is delicate and beautiful like a flower, but even flowers have scars. When she talked about war stopping her from achieving her dream, it was really sad. So sad that war does that to people. I'm happy they chose to be friends. It is slightly plotless and it leaves one feeling like there's something missing, but that might just be the nature of the story.
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Thanks, Ru! I'm glad you liked it!
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Hi Ru, just letting you know my myth collection novella is now out! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08W4NGT9J/
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Oh, yes! I've seen! On another comment thread and I so, so love the cover! I know it'll be successful. Would you mind describing your process? I mean you completed this in a rather short time. I remember you saying you were writing a novel just a month or two ago. But I do understand that you had most of them written. I'm thinking of writing an anthology. One last question, I swear, but are you also selling it paperback, because I think I saw an option for that.
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Thank you! Yolanda's friend Nicole made the cover. I had already written 14 of the 19 stories, so most of the work I did was editing. What do you plan on making your anthology about? I'd love to read it! It is in paperback! I'm also working on a more traditional novella, so hopefully that'll come out in a few months. :)
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Hey, great job, Maya! Love the dialogue and the exploration of friendship between the two girls. Your descriptions are beautiful as usual and congrats on publishing your novella! The manticore writing the comment has already bought the book but thought to say this anyway. We wrote a story this week about love and loss and museums. We'd love your opinion if you have time! :)
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Thank you! Of course I will, when I have time!
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Congratulation on your book. I have already downloaded it on kindle and hoping on my bed this afternoon to read it. Even I have three finished novels. Can you describe your journey of self-publishing and all? I loved that your book is available in paperback as well. Can I buy it in my country? Lot of question which need answer. Hope you answer it soon.
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Thanks, Radhika! Yeah, you can buy it in your country, and I'd be happy to describe how the self publishing works! Basically, you use this link and follow the instructions they give you. You probably have to make your own account, but it's pretty simple. Here's the link: https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/bookshelf?ref_=kdp_kdp_TAC_TN_bs When you're done reading it, if you don't mind, would you write a review on the amazon page? Thanks :)
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Sure I will read it. Can I ask you any doubts regarding publications? How many percentages are you getting?
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First, I love the section breaks. And also the name Naomi, so Noemi is a brilliant choice. I like the idea of a school girl during the War actually being interested in staying at the school. For book suggestions, I recommend "Celandine" and "The Various," both by Steve Augarde (they're my favorite childrens' fairy books), and "A Separate Peace" by John Knowles. All three books deal with teens and children at boarding schools during WWII and their relationships with teachers and classmates and friends. Excellent books. Okay, on to your stor...
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Thanks Zilla! As I worked on this, I felt like there could be so much more done with this world and the characters. I agree, a girl who wants to be more free is a lot more common than a girl who wants to be more confined. There's definitely a lot to be done here - maybe a new novella? I guess it could be historical fiction, but because of the fantasy setting I thought it fit. Thanks again!
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Of course! And I wouldn't say "wants to be" confined... maybe more like, is okay with it and will use it. I don't know :)
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Haha, yeah. That's what I meant. :)
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I really loved both the characters in this story. The subtle world-building was really interesting, we're given just enough to imagine these places, but it's definitely not heavy, which is just right for a short story. I liked how you described their initial interaction with their physical appearances and how they their relationship developed throughout the story. The war as a recurring mention throughout the story was also good for linking the characters and different passages together. I don't really have any criticisms, it was a great sto...
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Thanks so much! Any title suggestions?
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You're welcome! You should know by now that I'm really bad at titles, so yeah, none from me.
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Haha, okay. Actually, could you do me a favor? I'm having a lot of insecurities with my new novella and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind reading over what I have so far.
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Sure, just send me an email and I'll get to it as soon as I can. :)
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Awesome, thanks!
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Hey Yolanda, the paperback is out now!
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Very rough. Please critique. Also, sorry to those hoping for that plot based story, inspiration struck and I ended up writing this instead. It's still coming, though! Also, title suggestions?
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Heya
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Hi!
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How are you doing?
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Alright. How are you?
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really bored and tired :/ I've had some writers block for a little while now
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Gorgeous story!! Such beautiful descriptions - the starting line was so wonderfully crafted that I couldn't pass up reading this! Hope to see more of your work:)
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Thank you so much!
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I just wanted to say congratulations on publishing your novella!!! I would love to have the link to the Amazon page if you have time :) Congrats!
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Of course! Here it is! https://www.amazon.com/Crimson-Threads-Saffron-Leaves-Story-ebook/dp/B08W4NGT9J/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=of+crimson+threads+and+saffron+leaves+book&qid=1612796855&sr=8-2 I'd also appreciate it if you could leave a review when you're done :)
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I loved how Emila and Noemi were so much alike yet different, Emila trying to stay away from Noemi and the finality of her excepting Noemi's friendship. I say finality because it was like a final decision to me. Her decision to befriend someone was a risk at that time. I can't say much more than what I've read others say except that I truly enjoyed this story. Well done...😊 Maybe you could check out one of my latest stories. I have 2 for the family week...
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Yeah, sure! Thanks so much!
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Hi Maya! This was very beautifully written, and my fav part was how you vividly described Noemi so that your readers could conjure her up in their minds perfectly. I was looking through the comments and they have good ideas for titles so I won't go into that. One thing to add though would be to maybe make something more intense happen and perhaps prolong it to build up tension. Overall, great job! Also, I'd love it if you could check out my recent story and leave feedback! - Zahra :)
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Thank you Zahra! I'll be sure to check out your story soon!
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Very clever.. Love this story
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Thank you!
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New story out!
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Cool!
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:)
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Shout out writer IVY HATHERALL https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/ivy-hatherall/ FRANCES https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/frances/ Shout out story https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/78/submissions/52220/ {This story is amazing. A must read} This week's list. Please do read their stories and give them feedback. It will boost their confidence and give them a nice moral support
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I already do.
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Thanks for supporting me then.
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The world-building is almost invisible. Clever. Almost didn't realize it at first. Honestly though, everything you write belongs in its own glassy, glittery world so I should have known :)
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Wow, this story was really awesome. For the title, I honestly like the current one because it is simple and it draws readers in and...it just resonates with me in a way. I really love these kinds of stories-the ones that are speculative (mostly because I hardly write plot-based stories as well lol) Great job with this one Maya! I loved it!
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Thank you, Karina!
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This was great! However, I think the fantasy names are a little misplaced, so I would give them a more mellow fantasy tint, like Evenshade or something. Also, it felt like the pacing was a little too quick, so I would throw in some more fluff that help us slow down and develop images of the characters. Other than this, I LARBBBBBBBBBBBBB.
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Thanks, Luke! I wanted sort of foreign sounding fantasy names, so I used a name generator, lol.
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Ah, XD
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Wow! I just loved the dainty-ness of Noemi. Wonderful. I couldn't find any grammatical errors so that's good. This might be my second fav! Title idea's Clock Towers in Calintera Hexagon shaped cobblestones Hair like the sun, eyes like the moon Trapped
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Wow, thanks! What was your favorite again?
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:) Orbs in the sky :)
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Ahh. I like that one, too.
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:)
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