*Doesn't fit the prompt*
Note: This is Part 2 of a collab I did with Jasey Lovegood✨! Make sure to check out the first part of my POV (link: https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/88/submissions/61853/) and her POV (link in the comment below).
For my friend, who liked me years ago. Thank you for the countless amounts of inside jokes and arguments. You’re somehow annoying and amazing at the same time. It’s your superpower.
*~*~*
“I’m telling you, son. You never do anything right,” my father growled. “A trespasser that you were in charge of escaped a few days ago. You don’t look like a prince, nor do you act like one. Then there was that trade with Aeirnum you botched up. The kingdom’s citizens don’t like you; they think you’re not worthy of the throne. You’re ruining my reputation!”
I protested, “Father—”
“Don’t get me started, boy,” he snapped. “You have no right to talk back to your king. You’ve done nothing right as a prince. I expect more from you. Don’t fail me.”
He walked out of my room and slammed the door shut before I could shoot back a response.
I felt like a failure. Father, otherwise known as King Cornelius, always knew where to strike me with his words. He always knew what to say to break me. Some say the tongue is more powerful than any gun. They’re right. My father could never hurt me more by hitting me.
The urge to please my father hit me hard. I wanted to make him proud. To be confident of me. I knew just the thing to do that.
I knocked on the door of Aurelia’s room. It was right behind one of the corridor’s fireplaces: somewhere my father would never check.
“Fitzroy?” Aurelia opened the door and let me in.
“Yeah,” I said, feeling uncomfortable. We had not spoken since Aurelia’s birthday.
“It feels like I haven’t talked to you in forever,” Aurelia looked just as uncomfortable as I did. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”
I looked down. “I think you know why, Aurelia.”
I felt that I had approximately one second before Aurelia threw me out of her room and locked the door behind her.
Shockingly, Aurelia didn’t; she just shook her head. “I can’t endanger you like that. If you touch my gold, it’ll curse you for the rest of your life!”
“I don’t think you understand, Aurelia. I’m not asking this time. I have to give some gold to my father to show that I’m worthy. All of my life, I’ve been treated like a dog on the streets: useless. I can’t be the person he wants me to be, so I have to do something about it.”
“No!” Aurelia cried. “No, no, no. I’m not cursing you!”
As if responding to her feelings, a chunk of gold popped up from the ground. My eyes widened. The solution to my father’s bitterness was right at my feet. I didn’t care about the curses. I didn’t care. No curse could be worse than having a father who didn’t accept you and loving a girl who didn’t love you back.
“Don’t. Fitzroy, please, don’t.”
But Aurelia’s voice sounded tiny and far away. I picked up the gold.
“No!” I barely heard Aurelia through the ringing in my ears. The solution to my problems was in my hands. “The curse will kill you!”
She sped to me and tried to make me let go of the gold. I couldn’t let go. For once, despite my lack of muscles, I felt strong. I held onto it like it was the only thing connecting me to life. Maybe it was, in a way. Without the gold, I would never be happy.
A few seconds was all it took for the curse of the gold to overwhelm me. I dropped to the gold, feeling unbelievable pain spreading through my body. It felt like molten lava was my blood. I felt myself heating up like I was on fire. I gasped and dropped the gold. But the pain didn’t stop. It felt like fire was spreading across my body, burning through it one cell at a time. It was excruciating.
If I’m going to die, can you please make it quick? I begged in my head to no one in particular.
The pain intensified, and I felt my life slipping away. I writhed, trying to make it stop. I wanted to let go. I felt my heartbeat dying out and my breathing getting more labored. The webs of heat made their way toward my heart.
Suddenly, a voice rang clear in my head. “I love you, Fitzroy!”
The burning stopped, and the pain faded away until it was gone. I saw Aurelia wiping the tears from her face.
“You make me feel like the luckiest person in the world,” she continued, her voice shaking but with a ring of truth. “And I always forget that I’m burdened by this stupid ‘gift’ when I’m with you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner. Because now you’re leaving me.” She inhaled. “I’ll say it a million times if I have to. I love you, I love you, and I love you. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if I lost you. So come back to me, Princeling. Because yeah, maybe I’m the one with separation anxiety now, I admit it. Just don’t leave.”
Aurelia loved me. She loved me.
She loved me.
That realization shocked me to the core. I tried to move, but my hand only twitched.
“Fitzroy?” Aurelia said through her tears.
I tried to move again, and I was able to take Aurelia’s hand. She laughed shakily, and I could see the relief on her face.
“Hey, Aurelia,” I said weakly. ”I think I forgot to tell you this, but I love you too."
“Shut up!” Aurelia smacked my arm playfully. I managed to smile, rubbing my arm.
I coughed, feeling the remnants of the burning sensation in my throat. Aurelia wrapped her arms around me, and I didn’t complain.
“I’m sorry, Fitzroy. I’m so sorry,” She apologized. The smile didn’t leave my face as I tucked one of her beautiful blonde curls behind her ear.
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything, love. I’m the one who should be sorry.”
Before I could even process what I was doing, my lips were on Aurelia’s. Pure happiness and love coursed through my body. Maybe I could get a happy ending after all.
*~*~*
My father was quite angry when he found out about Aurelia. Even the fact that we had unlimited amounts of gold didn’t please him. After his anger faded, I could tell that he would always want something more out of me. He was never satisfied with me.
But I had Aurelia on my side, and that was all that counted.
We dated for a while and married a few years later. I couldn’t say that Aurelia was a perfect princess. But then again, I wasn’t a flawless prince.
When I became king, she was still with me. We went through all of our struggles as royalty and as a couple together.
Of course, I would die someday. And as much as I hated it, Aurelia and our children would die, too.
So this wasn’t quite a happily ever after. Not everything was perfect. But some things were even better than perfection.
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79 comments
I’m so sorry this story didn’t get posted yesterday as I’d promised. My WiFi was down, and then I realized there were a bunch of flaws in my story. Here’s Jasey’s POV (which is better than mine): https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/88/submissions/61804/ Jude, you didn’t ask for permission!!! (inside joke) ;) Feedback is needed and appreciated! A comment would make my day :) This is a very short comment, but comment “💿📀2️⃣” if you read this comment and this story!
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 💿📀2️⃣ iWOGWKGNWIRLGNWRLGWJRIGLKNWRG Okay thank you for not making me suffer with another pain-inducing ending, this was sweet and wholesome to read and so satisfying ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the romance 🥺 THE KISS- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH You are such a good romance writer and I loveeee this!!! Thank you for the happy ending, if you killed Fitz I would've smacked you with my pillow! I really admire your descriptions though- fantastic job on that! And the sentences were smooth and gave me a fairy tale vi...
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1. Eheh, I tried with the romance. I can't take all of the credit for that idea, though. Jasey's better at romance than I am XD 2. I would've killed him, though. 3. Thank you so much! 4. That's a great ship name lol 5. Thanks for the feedback! :D
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XD 1. Haha its alright XD 2. AAAAAAAAAAAA 3. OF COURSE!!!! 4. hehheehheeheheh 5. No problemo!!!!!
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:) Hru?
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Meh XD Everyones getting annoyed that I keep using the same reply LOL You?
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yay, good ending XDD seemed a bit abrupt tho, ngl. 💿📀2️⃣ you're a good romance writer tbh, but like SERIOUSLY. The love felt true, like a golden (hahaha) bond over them. It was super good and polished (i'm on fire today(XD)) and smooth :) 'Some things are even better than perfection' true dat :) L.W.
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Hmm, I think I can agree with that. Thank you for your feedback!
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:D yw
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I am very happy with the ending of this story! I thought it would have a bad ending, but I'm so relieved. I'm sending this story to my mom because I think she'll love it! ;)
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Thank you!
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Hello Annabelle, I enjoyed your story, even if it just had to have that "fairytale happy ending". Thanks for liking my latest story "The Web". You've noticed no doubt that it's the 6th of a series (Alexander Blackwell is myself during my midlife crisis in Paris 2007 to 2009) that started with one of my 1st stories on Reedsy "Dream of Senegal" (probably the best of the 6 so far). I'd like some advice: I'm going to make a book of these after I finish 12 or 13 of them; "Dream of Senegal and other stories", and I have a dilemma. I can't decide ...
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Thank you! Ok. I'm really not the best person to ask, but thanks for asking. I don't think it's right for me to choose a tense for you, so I'm just going to list the pros and cons. You can ask me questions if you'd like. The present tense is good for stories with constant action. It's also good for unreliable narrators. But some readers don't like present tense, and present tense can be harder to pull off than past tense. Past tense, on the other hand, has benefits as well. Readers MIGHT enjoy past tense more, and you can "paint the whol...
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Hi again Anabelle, thank you. In fact, since you've read these stories (or at least most of them) I was hoping that you could give me more your gut feeling as a reader. Compare the stories and tell me what is more interesting for you. I feel comfortable writing in either, and I think I pull off the present tense fairly well. My first novel was in the present tense and it's gotten great reviews.
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I think you should go for the present tense. I'm sorry it took so long to reply.
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Thank you so much Anabelle, this confirms what I think I already knew. Having the reader live the events as they play out is more engaging. Best regards, Salam, ZAli
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No problem.
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Lab Rats is hereee! Check it out!
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Ok, but would you mind giving feedback to my collab?
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Sure!
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Should I change my profile?
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I don't know, tbh.
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I was thinking of Zephyr from httyd
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Who's that?
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OOF NO ONE KNOWS WHO SHE IS Look up Zephyr and Toothless, it's adorable. She is the cutest thing ever.
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Ohh, I know Zephyr and Toothless! It's just the "httyd" acronym that threw me off. I think it'll make a nice profile picture.
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Guess what?? Luna asked me to shout you out in my bio!! She also said that you were her favorite author on Reedsy. Congrats!!
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Wow! Thanks!
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Hey can you give me feedback for the recent story.
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Gosh, I completely forgot about that! I'll do it today. Would you mind giving feedback on my story, too?
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YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YOU HAVE MADE UP FOR YOUR WRITING SINS FROM LAST TIME MY HEART IS REPAIRED YESSSSSSS I LOVE THEMMMMMMM thank you for making this a lovely happy story where you repaired the hearts you shattered from part 1. everything was perfecttttttttttt I love happy endings(usually;) and the kissssss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh beautifullllllll Annabelle ur a rly good romance writer and I need moreeeeeeee Everything felt very smooth and well put together, and lined up perfectly till the very end. Amazing ...
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XD Thank you so much!
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:D <3
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:) (We can end this thread and talk in the thread on your other comment in part 1.)
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New story out would love your feedback.
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Sure, but would you mind giving feedback on parts one and two of my collab? :)
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This was awesome!! However........ I think that my feedback about first person still applies.
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Thank you! Ok, got it. (At least I can edit Part 2.) Any tips on how to fix that?
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I’d say take a cannonball into 3rd person. There are ways to make it work in first but I think it’ll sound better.
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It might be a little out of place, though. The first part is in first person.
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Oh ok, then I’d say... well, you treat first like it’s third, if that makes sense.
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What do you mean by that? I still don't understand why my first-person stories seem more like third person.
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I read this story and I felt like I have twenty two more to go,love the simplicity,,,,what, it was a collabo?,then you two vibe
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XD Thank you! (A warning, though: My older stories are terrible.)
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😂😂😂 that's what we call "pain insurance" and there is nothing like a terrible story it's either ahead or behind it's time and try reading mine we can find our terribleness(if that's a thing)mutual
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Lol
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OOh, so it's going to be an entire collab series? That sounds fun :) Random, but I like the name aurelia. Idk why. It's just a really cool name. Brain is very dry today, sorry.
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Not an "entire collab series", lol. It was just supposed to be one part, but it grew too long (and by too long, I mean 3700 words) and I had to separate it into two parts. Lol, np :)
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AAAAH I hate when I reach just 3700 words! It’s so annoying!
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Exactly!
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Girl, if it wasn’t a fairy tale, and if it wasn’t a romance- you would’ve happily killed our homie. XD
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Yes, I would've. And I'm proud of it :) But honestly, even if this was still a romance... I would've killed.
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Bahahaha ok XD
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XD
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My story is posted!! :D
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Already?? Wow! I'll read it soon! :D
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yeah XD I'm surprised myself XD thank you!!!
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:)
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:]
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<333 I loved this smmmmm The end was PERFECTOOOOOOO gRaTe 🧀🧀🧀 job!!! I just- I loveeeee thisssss 💿📀2️⃣ - Amethyst
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Thank you! :D
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np! :D I'm almost done my story (surprisingly) :D
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Wow. That's great!
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yeah :)
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:) Hru?
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Yay a happy ending!
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:)
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You scared me for a minute there, I thought he was going to die. 💿📀2️⃣ Great job!
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Lol, I would've killed him if this wasn't a fairy tale. Thank you!
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No problem.
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:)
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Does old age have to be the end?? Isn't there some magic we could find? :) Part 3? Seriously, I so admire how you can tell such a great story inside of 3000 words, the pace is always spot on.
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That's up to you to decide ;) I don't think I can write part 3, though. Thank you!
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