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Thriller Drama Fantasy

The sea was nothing short of angelic, but it was far below Adelie’s feet. The city was vibrant and majestic, but Adelie still longed for the sea she had come to know Spain by so well. The sea that had defined her life for so long, that she had lived by and grown up with. Still, however, she loved the sights she could see, the people, and the overall way of life in the beautiful Madrid. 

There was one sight Adelie couldn’t figure out her feelings on, however, and that was the one right in front of her. 666 meters on top of the beautiful Medittearanean Sea she had grown to love, Adelie found herself at the statue of the fallen angel. 

You see, Adelie had always had a complicated relationship with the devil. When she was young, he was someone to fear, but as she grew older, she accepted him into her life. She knew she couldn’t always win, that her family might not ever love her, but she also knew that she had to accept her life and live in her way. 

But that didn’t mean the pain would stop. No, Adelie would always be hurt by something or another. Whether it was her past memories of the mistakes she’d made, or just the thought of progressing with the future without living her present, Adelie would always feel pain. There was just no way around it. No way to rid the devil from her life. 

The sun shone brightly as Adelie sat down, watching the former angel fall. Her short brown hair whipped to the side as she stared at the sight in front of her. 

Adelie wasn’t sure if she wanted to come here, given what the devil meant to her. Given the pain and suffering in her life she had personified to the fallen angel himself, but she found herself there anyway, and she guessed it provided closure, in a way. Here, Adelie could come face to face with her pain over all the years, the pain she had brought to life, that the sculpture brought to life before her. Here, in this beautiful city, Adelie could be free at last, free from her pain, her suffering, her throbbing heart full of weights heaving her chest. 

“That’s true,” a soft voice said from behind Adelie. “You can.”

Adelie turned to see a little girl behind her, smiling the sort of smile that could only mean something sinister was afoot. “Who are you?” she asked, nervously. 

“I think you know,” the little girl said, giving the same smile, combined with a knowing glance from her golden, amber eyes.

Her eyes looked beautiful at first glance, and destructive at second. Like little flames ready to ignite the world. 

“You’re him, aren’t you?” Adelie said, her own grey eyes widening with fear. 

“Very good,” the Devil said, his form changing into that of a young man. “Is this the face you were looking for?”

Adelie gasped, blinking furiously. She recognized that man. He was the man from her nightmares, the one inflicting her pain. The one who always told her she was wrong, who constantly berated her. The one who made her doubt all in her life. Who made her question her beliefs and her own moralities. The one who made her suffer.

She remembered the first time he had come to her, back when she was a young girl herself. Back before she could even speak, she wasn’t wanted, and he knew it. He knew it, and he took it for granted. 

She wished more than anything that he would just leave her alone. 

“Why have you come to me,” Adelie asked, fear going through her bones. 

“Is that the right question to ask,” the man said, “or should you be asking why you have come to me?”

Adelie sighed, realizing he was right. If there was anywhere to find the devil, it would be at the only memorial to him in the world, and that was exactly where she was. In this moment, Adelie wished again for the beautiful, calming sea that put her to sleep at night when the man from her nightmares - the man right in front of her -  kept her awake. The chilling fear echoing through her body made her miss her hometown, and the bright blue hues of the water as she dipped her toes into the sand. 

“There’s no need for more comfort,” said the Devil, his sinister smile returning. “You should be comfortable enough. I chose a quite scenic area for our meeting.”

“How did you-” Adelie started, before the Devil interrupted. “I hear all of your thoughts. Nothing is safe from me.”

Adelie felt the rush of the wind instill yet another rush of fear throughout her body. Her brown hair flipped up again in what was earlier pleasant weather. Perhaps the man controlled the skies, or perhaps Adelie’s fear caused the darkness to start, as the clouds turned a grey hue.

“It doesn’t matter, really. The point is, you’re here. And I’m here. To offer you a deal.” said the devil, the tips of his mouth raising ever so slightly into a cautious grin. 

“A deal?” said Adelie, her fear dissolving slowly. 

“Yes,” the Devil responded. “A deal.”

Adelie thought one again of the beautiful waves of the sea, and what she would give to be back there. But she knew, she knew in her heart, that she couldn’t be there again, at least not now. Her only choice was to listen to what the man of her nightmares had to say. 

“Good choice,” the Devil said, coyly. 

People of all types started to appear behind him, coming out of the grey clouds above. Adelie recognized little girls like the man had appeared to her as before and young men like he was now. But they all had their slight little differences to make them all unique - a dimple, a mole, anything. They were all the same, yet different at once. Still, Adelie recognized them all, from when she lay awake at night worrying and wondering, and from when she slept at night, waiting to wake to another day of misery. 

They all had the same amber eyes, however. The mark of hellfire. 

“That’s true,” said the Devil. “We are the same. We are all fallen angels, in our own rights. Demons who plague your nightmares.”

“Why are they here?” Adelie asked, curiously. 

“Because,” said the Devil. “You could be one of them, if you wanted. You could join us. You are an angel on earth, it’s time for you to fall.”

“I’m no angel,” said Adelie, thinking again of her pain and suffering. Of everything that hurt her, and how it haunted her.

“Of course you aren’t” said the Devil, with a chuckle. “You think your family would care about you if you were an angel? I just meant that you’re enough of an angel for you to fall.”

Adelie thought again of her painful memories, haunting her at night, making her feel powerless and miserable. It had been what always drew her to the ocean, with the sandy beaches and gorgeous waves. Somewhere safe. 

Somewhere where she could still drown.

“That’s also true,” he said. “You’ll drown in the ocean.”

She remembered that line, from the first time he had ever said it to her. Back when she was young. 

Remember Addie, you’ll drown in the ocean. You can’t escape me. 

“Do we want her?” said a little girl from behind the man. “She’s so indecisive.”

“Yeah,” agreed a man from the back of the group. “I don’t like her.”

The voices grew louder and louder, criticizing Adelie. She winced, remembering this pain from her nightmares. Oh, how Adelie knew this pain. She knew it too well. 

“What is my choice?” she said staring into the Devil’s fiery amber eyes. “What if I don’t join you?”

“Then we continue to haunt you,” said the devil. “You will be forced to live with the pain. Every angel has its demon.”

Adelie sighed again, thinking of the sea she’d never be able to see again, the waters she’d never be able to dip her feet in. She thought of the family she’d never be able to see, and the life she’d never be able to live. But then she thought of the pain and the suffering, and how it might finally come to an end. 

“Why me?” said Adelie, her fear returning as she thought more and more about the possibilities of joining. “Why did you choose to offer this to me?”

The Devil smiled a coy grin. “Your eyes are grey, Adelie, but what are grey eyes except blue with specks of gold? You have hellfire in your eyes, Addie,” he said, using his old nickname for Adelie. “Hellfire.”

Fear ran cold again through Adelie’s body as thought again of the pain she would feel. The suffering that would run through her blood, always present, even when she was happy. 

But then she thought of the water she’d never feel again, and the world she’d never see. Somehow, that felt more painful than all the Devil had done to her.

“No,” she said, for the first time in what felt like forever, firmly, with prowess. “I can’t.”

“Suit yourself,” said the devil, as he and the demons started to disappear into the smoke of the grey clouds. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

In that moment, Adelie felt more pain and regret than she had ever felt before. Not regret in not taking the Devil’s deal, but regret from all of her past mistakes combined. It stung in her chest. In her heart.

A single tear dropped down from Adelie’s eyes. Grey, with specks of hellfire. 

August 23, 2020 18:52

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35 comments

Yolanda Wu
06:51 Aug 24, 2020

Once again, such a wonderful and well-written story with absolutely beautiful descriptions. You characterised Adelie and the Devil so well, and I just love that last sentence. It leaves me with such wanting for more, but at the same time it's perfect the way it is. Amazing work, Maya!

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Maya W.
12:29 Aug 24, 2020

Thank you!

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Alwyn Mc Namara
00:08 Aug 30, 2020

Wow. This is a very powerful tale. I could definitely picture it all. Very impressive writing and a clever take on the prompt. Well done 👏👏👏

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Maya W.
00:09 Aug 30, 2020

Thank you! Would you mind checking out some of the other ones here? I'm trying to write, but writer's block's in the way, haha.

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Lee Jay
20:31 Aug 28, 2020

Beautiful imagery with a profoundly dark yet redeeming reflection on the human spirit.

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Maya W.
23:15 Aug 28, 2020

Thank you!

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Elliot Thomas
01:23 Aug 28, 2020

Wow, you're only a teen writer? Your writing style is very well developed and the imagery transports the reader to the story itself. I fell in love with your writing style in the first sentence. Your story ideas are original and very creative. Thank you for this. Don't ever stop writing. ~ E

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Maya W.
01:49 Aug 28, 2020

Thanks so much! I try, haha.

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Kristin Neubauer
16:26 Aug 27, 2020

Such a powerful story from beginning to end, Maya. The final sentence really leaves the reader thinking about it long after. Great work!

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Avery G.
23:38 Aug 26, 2020

This was soo good! Great job!

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Maya W.
23:40 Aug 26, 2020

Thanks Avery!

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Avery G.
23:41 Aug 26, 2020

You're welcome!

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20:41 Aug 25, 2020

WOW. This is... amazing to say the least. Your description was perfect, the dialogue flowed well, your characters were believable, and the storyline was magnificent. The way that you write is waaaayyyyy beyond my personal abilities. The last line gave me chills. I want to read more. Keep writing and stay healthy, Your New Reedsy Friend/Fan - Brooke

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Maya W.
20:46 Aug 25, 2020

Thanks so much!

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20:49 Aug 25, 2020

It's my pleasure!

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Jonathan Blaauw
07:28 Aug 25, 2020

This was well done. It’s got all the elements of a good story – good vs. evil, questions of morality, pain/regret, internal conflict. And you’ve presented it so well in a narrative that is both engaging and beautifully descriptive. And, importantly, even though its fictional (a fable, of sorts) it’s still got dark side/temptation themes that we can all relate to. Your writing is very strong, good job!

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Maya W.
14:26 Aug 25, 2020

Thanks!

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Rayhan Hidayat
03:46 Aug 25, 2020

Beautifully-written, with super-vivid descriptions. I like how drowning was portrayed as something desirable (at least compared to being tormented by the devil). Nice last line, too! Keep it up 😁

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Maya W.
14:26 Aug 25, 2020

Thank you!

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B. W.
16:35 Aug 24, 2020

I really like this, you did a great job with it along with your other stories. i'll give you a 10/10 for this ^^

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Maya W.
19:26 Aug 24, 2020

Aww, thanks!

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B. W.
19:30 Aug 24, 2020

no problem ^^

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Willow Byrd
16:21 Aug 24, 2020

Oh my goodness. This was incredible and captivating. Your description was absolutely wonderful. Amazing job Maya!

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Maya W.
16:23 Aug 24, 2020

Thanks!

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03:03 Oct 02, 2020

I was first attracted to this by the title. Speaking of which, how on earth do you find inspiration for such ethereal titles for your stories? They're all so magical. The descriptions made me shudder and lean forward in my seat at the same time. The plotline was so unique and you captured the characters and setting perfectly. Well done! ~Ria

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Maya W.
12:39 Oct 02, 2020

I'm so glad you enjoy the titles! I usually come up with a few and then get my friends to vote on them. There are a few I'm not happy with, but you all seem to like them!

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17:28 Oct 02, 2020

Wow, that's really cool! My friends don't really know that I write so I can't do that. Maybe my Reedsy friends can help? Who knows?

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Maya W.
17:41 Oct 02, 2020

If you have instagram or discord, I'd be happy to help out!

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Keerththan 😀
15:02 Sep 05, 2020

The descriptions were amazing and I liked the dtails you gave. Loved the story lots. Keep writing. Would you mind reading my new story? Thanks.

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Maya W.
15:28 Sep 05, 2020

Sure! Thanks!

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Keerththan 😀
15:32 Sep 05, 2020

Thanks! Welcome :)

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Keerththan 😀
15:33 Sep 05, 2020

I think someone has down voted you. Because my comment has 0 points.

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Maya W.
15:39 Sep 05, 2020

Aww.

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Keerththan 😀
15:41 Sep 05, 2020

I up voted it :) Those down voters are very immature.

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Maya W.
18:16 Sep 05, 2020

Thanks :)

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