You aren't ready for it. Nevertheless, you have to do it. Holding the hands of a girl and running away from something, you can't really distinguish.
You have no clue about your father, as he ran away before you were born. Your mother is nowhere to be seen and the only human with you is the girl, Layla.
"How are we going to escape?" she asks you and you shoot a look at her.
You are clueless about what is happening. She is a lean, bold woman, with striking blue eyes that seem to stare into your soul. You are expecting someone to aim the rifle and shoot right at the ugly guys who were chasing you and the girl. But, that doesn't happen.
Suddenly, both of you fall into something. Blood starts trickling out of her little fingers.
Surprisingly, there is a bandage before you. You give it to her and see a dark, cave like structure. You proceed into it.
And what you discover is even more surprising. A portal!
Anywhere away from these ugly creatures is okay for you.
You grab her hand and make a run for it, while she stres in awe.
And what a discovery you make! A whole cluster of weapons!
Now, you are the man with the rifle. You grab some pistols and place them into your pocket. Then you put on the bulletproof jacket and take a rifle in your hands. You walk out of the portal triumphantly.
She picks up a pistol and walks out of it. You have a feel that you could kill them all.
"What are we going to do now?" she asks you.
"Kill- them- all," you pronounce.
"Okay," she says.
"We shoot them all and take shelter somewhere," you say and try to climb the pit. The creatures watch you from above.
There would be something to climb this up as well.
You see a springy thing besides your leg. "Only once" is written on it with dark, bold letters. You jump on it and land before the ugly guys.
She comes up in the same way.
Come on, creatures.Β
You load your gun and push the trigger. Simply, nothing comes out.
"Did you load the bullets?" she calls.
Then you realise that you didn't have any bullets and give her a slight grin. She had only six bullets for the pistol. You don't risk your life in that pit.
What if it's only for a single use?
So, you stand beside her waiting for your doom. You are too tired to run.
The world is in a diminished form. No building is standing upright. Everything is in ruins. A meteorite and a bomb at the same time did this to your world.
You didn't expect this apocalypse to happen.
Β You are disappointed with yourself for your carelessness.
The creatures approach you andΒ Layla. You want to die peacefully. So, you sit down with your hands on your head and shut your eyes.
The creatures stop suddenly.
A cool breeze runs over you. You turn back and see a large plate over your shoulders. The large plate lands on the ground and some weird guys with antennas come out of it. They are red and their eyes bulge out of their heads. Ultimately, a man gets down from the plate like thing.
You are relieved when you see a man. Layla heaves a sigh of relief too.
The man comes near you and whispers, "These are the stupidest aliens in the galaxy known as Xythes. They are easy to tackle. Please follow my orders."
"Yeah, sure," you say.
Β At least someone to help.
One of the aliens says, "Boss, this planet is very hot. The oxygen level is also low. Only one percent of water is remaining in this planet."
Boss alien replies, "Anything better than our planet is okay."
"Okay, boss."
Boss alien says, pointing at the ugly creatures, "I think they are also trying to rule this planet. We should kill them all."
The creatures leave out cries in response and approach the aliens while Layla and you follow the man onto the plate silently. The aliens take out their sophisticated weapons and start shooting the creatures.
"Do you know what they really are?" Layla asks the man, pointing the ugly creatures.
"Well, they are half dead creatures known as zombies. They crave for blood and if even a drop of their saliva touches you, you become one of them," he says.
"Ooooh, then that was close, Layla," you say.
He is an old man with white hair springing onto different sides. Although he looks old, he is fast enough.Β Β
He embarks the spaceship and Boom! It starts with fire coming out of its engine, roasting the aliens. But they neither die nor realise their ship is stolen.
You make yourself comfortable in the spaceship and put on the seat belt.
"Okay, can you introduce yourself?" you ask him.
"Yeah, I forgot about it. I am a space wanderer and my name is Ronny," he says.
I have heard this name before.Β
You start thinking about it when a meteoroid crashes the plate spaceship. Red lights cover the spaceship and it is totally out of control.
"Ronny," Layla calls, but he gives no answer and passes out.
"Do you know how to operate a spaceship?" you ask Layla.
"No. Why do you think I want Ronny's help?" she replies, panicking and goes to the control centre of the spaceship.
You pour some water on Ronny, but he doesn't wake up.
Layla pushes down all the buttons on the control centre and music starts playing with colourful lights.
Even aliens love parties!
Then the spaceship does a somersault. That is when you discover a planet nearby. The spaceship has a steering wheel. Layla and you try hard to turn the steering wheel and finally you turn it!
The planet looks rocky from outside and is yellow in colour. You have no choice but to land the spaceship on the planet. Ronny is also unconscious.
And suddenly, you remember him.
You leave the steering and go near Ronny.
"Father, please wake up," you say, patting his shoulders. A drop of tear touches his face from your eyes.
"Don't worry, my son. I am there for you," he says, patting your head.
"Yeah, you are alive," you exclaim with joy.
"Yeah, I am."
"Why did you run away?"
"Those stupid aliens kidnapped me."
"I think that is the reason you roasted them," Layla says.
"Let's talk about that afterwards. I think it's an engine failure. Someone has to go down and attach this thing to the engine," he says, showing you a pointy object.
"I will do it," you say and try to grab the object from him.
"Uh-huh. No way, I am doing it," he says and puts on the astronaut suit. He waves his hand and jumps into open space.
"Pull the steering when I say," your father shouts through the radio transmitter.
"Okay," Layla says.
After a while, Ronny shouts, "Nooooooow."
Layla pulls the steering towards the yellow planet.
The engine starts working! It's now much easier to pull the steering.
You, Layla and your father land on the planet safely. No, not safely. It is a crash landing. You run out of the plate spaceship and little did you know what was going to happen!
A bunch of the same type of red aliens is standing in front of you. Well, Xythes are cannibals.
They look hungry!
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387 comments
Itβs hard to pull off a story in the second person. You did well! I love the mix of extreme sci-fi with the apocalypse. Sometimes I wanted the story to slow down with more description and backstory, but I donβt think thatβs your style or what you were going for with the piece so thatβs okay. I like where you left it off. It could be a cliffhanger or an absolute break
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Yeah, thats my first try. I am happy to hear you liked it. Yeah, even I want it to be a little slow. But my writing is always fast paced. Glad you liked the ending!
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Well done! Fast paced and imaginative! Keep writing.
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Thank you for reading!
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Hey, Keerththan! First of all, great story! Second, I wanted to let you know that I wrote a "Zombies Sound Safer Than My Family - Part 2." You had read the first and seemed to enjoy it, so I was just letting you know that I had made a second if you wanted to check it out. :)
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Yo, definitely!
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Please read my new story if u r free and give some feedback!
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Wow! This was a super unique story! I really love the father twist and your narrator's voice is so casual yet suspenseful. Plus, it's a wonderful blend of zombies AND aliens. Thank you for inviting me over!
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I am glad you loved the twist. Thank you for reading and welcome!(would you mind liking my story? Thanks!)
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If I could like it multiple times I certainly would, but alas, I have already.
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Thank you!
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WHO WANTS PRESENTS?!
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πππ your nameeeee
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It's nice, right?
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Yesss veryyyππ
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Please don't change your names and scare me!
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hehe lol
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What are the presents?
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Claws.
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Claws.
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Give me some claws! But, I think its Halloween now! Lol!
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Yo,Akshat Atal. I couldn't find out at first. You scared me!
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Hehe.
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He he lol.
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Hehe.
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Hey! I submitted a new story, so can you read it? Thanks!
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Sure!
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Hey, i submitted a new story? please read it. thanks.
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Okay! In a while though.
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I like this!
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Glad you liked it!
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yo, just submitted a story, feel free to check it out!
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Yo, i was waiting for it! I will take a look
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yo, no problem!
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WOW THIS WAS REALLY GOOD. just a little quickβthis is just my opinion, but you donβt have to take it, you should add a little more precise language and make it more intriguing! but other than thatβππΌππΌππΌππΌππππ
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Thank you! I will take your opinion.
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Awesome story! Keep writing! I appreciate if you can read my story, "Agnes" and give your valuable feedback.
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Thank you and sure!
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Okay, i think you did a really good job with this story and i liked it. I'm not really good at giving advice if you want that. though i will say that you should continue to make more stories on here, though only when you aren't busy and have ideas for it. ya know what i'm gonna give this? 10/10 :)
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Thank you for the score! I will keep writing stories(what other job do I have? Lol) No problem. But, my stories are not getting approved. I am frustrated because of this. πΏ
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No problem ^^ i mean the approving thing might get fixed at some point- ya don't need to worry about it. if it's alright i was wondering if ya could also go and check out "Reunion? No thanks" and "My older sister?" and leave some feedback?
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My two stories didn't get approved. Yeah, sure. I will read it tomorrow or today. I am a little tight the morning. And would you mind liking my story?
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Yeah, that's fine ^^ ya can take your time with the stuff. Sure, i just did
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Thanks! Are you writing a novel?
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A promising start! Looking forward to your future work. :)
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Thank you for reading!
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You asked me to come check this out, so here I am. I really liked this story! You seem to know how to use second person very well, and you did a great job with it on this story. There are a few things I would critique... '"Father, please wake up," you say, patting his shoulders. A drop of tear touches his face from your eyes. "Don't worry, my son. I am there for you," he says, patting your head." Both of these sentences use two of the same words: say(s) and patting. I would use different words than says and patting in the second sen...
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I am glad you liked this story. This is the first time I am using 2nd pov. So, I did a lot of mistakes. I will reduce the robotic feel in my next. Thank you for coming to read.
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I honestly couldn't tell! You did a really good job!
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Thanks! You have made my day!
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Love the imagery of your writing and the creative approach to a zombie story !! Great writing ! :)
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Glad you loved it! (would you mind liking my story?)
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Oh. My. God. These people need to run really quickly or they are chicken dinner (apologies if you are vegetarian/vegan). I was kind of wishing that the aliens were green (because, why not?) but overall, fantastic! There's a lot of action in this but your format is great and you are way better at coming up with names than I am. Seriously, I would probably have come up with something like 'Red Alien Thingys' for the names of the zombies if I was writing this. Great job!
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Okay, you have to run quickly or they will make you chicken dinner.(just kidding. It's in 2nd person POV) No apologies. Okay in every film, I see that aliens are purple, blue , green , white or so. But I have never seen them red. Just a new try. Yo, that's a nice applause for me. Thank you! You made my day! I have to say the truth about that name.ππ I didn't name the aliens actually. It was Orenda who suggested the name. I am really bad at titles and names. Thank you for reading.
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To be honest, if these aliens were real, I'd be locking myself in my attic and waterproofing every square centimetre that's in my property. I never watch zombie films (I've only ever watched 4 full movies in my whole decade of life) and all the zombie pictures I have seen have green zombies. My next art project: Draw a red zombie with watercolour pencils. It'll look awesome. You're welcome! Oh, and this is kinda off topic but I made a form that I put the link in my bio. You can check it out if you have time but you don't have to. π°π°π°π°π°π°π°π°...
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He he. I will run as fast as I can or take my bicycle and come back with weapons(not that I have anything) Yeah, green is for zombies. I couldn't open that form. It's asking for permission. I have plenty of time. Yeah, for Orenda. I suck at titles. (he he. Opposite.) And I also have fear of blood(yuck)
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You mean you have haemophobia? I do too! Mine's not too bad, but it just looks eww to me. Y' know, oozing out and stuff. Sorry if I made you cringe. I'll try to adjust permissions on the form so anyone can open it and answer it. I'm bad at remembering to do that.
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You can answer it now!
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I am not afraid of hearing blood. Only when its losing out I am afraid, not from my body. (if it comes from my body, i won't even notice it) I attended the quiz.
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Just asking if u can submit me a story under 1200 words. Any topic for my podcast. https://forms.gle/mwRfwtLvKxjAz3tw9
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So I didn't have time on Friday, but I found some time now in the middle of the night and your story hasn't been approved yet, so that means you can still edit, right? I hope so. Here is your homework: "She is a lean, bold woman, with striking blue eyes that seem to stare into your soul." This sentence feels out of place. I think it would fit better in the previous paragraph, right after "you shoot a look at her." "ugly guys who were chasing you and the girl." They were chasing them, but stopped, or they are chasing them? Keep your ...
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My story still didn't get approved. Next after next contests are coming. πππΏ
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:( Still don't get why. Didn't someone from Reedsy tell you it would be?
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Yeah, I asked the judges. They said it will get approved.
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Maybe you should complain again and tell them it still didn't.
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Hey Clara, its been a long time. I have written a new story. Please read it and give some homework. And kindly be fast. My stories dont get approved but i cant edit them.
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Okay, I can't edit. It's not approved. But, I cant edit. I saw the whole lot of mistakes. And thank you for coming. I will correct this story in the main copy. The same thing happened to Clueless. Thank you for mentioning. I had my exams too. So I didn't spend much time on this story. Just wrote this, because its been long before I wrote. I have a small problem of forgetting things if I don't do it.π€£π
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You're getting much better π In the sentence, 'You grab her hand and make a run for it, while she stres in awe.'. I believe you meant, 'You grab her hand and make a run for it, while she stares in awe.'. 'stares' not 'stres'. Keep writing π
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Thank you! Yeah, that's a typo. My stories are not getting approved but it is showing that it was approved.ππ Keep writing
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Really nice story!! The plot is a little fast, but I love the combination of aliens and zombies as others have said before me! Keep writing:)
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Thank you for reading. Keep writing :)
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Hi, Keerththan! You asked me to read and here I am. Some thoughts: 1. "Holding the hands of a girl, who is in a similar situation like you- running away from something, you can't really distinguish." You don't need the comma there, and watch the passive voice. No need to say "who is in a similar situation like you" -- show instead of tell: "Holding the hands of a girl and running away from something you can't really distinguish." 2. "Her blue eyes blink every now and then." All eyes blink. If you're saying this to show that...
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Changed everything you said. Thank you for your support. Keep writing.
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Of course!! I'm so glad my comment was helpful. Keep up the fantastic work, Keerththan, you've got some great stuff!
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Thank you!
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Nice aliens and zombies! Why didnβt I think of that ha. Awesome story
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Thanks a lot!
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Hello Just asking if u can submit me a story under 1200 words. Any topic for my podcast. https://forms.gle/mwRfwtLvKxjAz3tw9
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