Zombie Break Out

Submitted into Contest #60 in response to: Write a post-apocalyptic story that features zombies.... view prompt

387 comments

Science Fiction Adventure Fantasy

You aren't ready for it. Nevertheless, you have to do it. Holding the hands of a girl and running away from something, you can't really distinguish.

You have no clue about your father, as he ran away before you were born. Your mother is nowhere to be seen and the only human with you is the girl, Layla.

"How are we going to escape?" she asks you and you shoot a look at her.

You are clueless about what is happening. She is a lean, bold woman, with striking blue eyes that seem to stare into your soul. You are expecting someone to aim the rifle and shoot right at the ugly guys who were chasing you and the girl. But, that doesn't happen.

Suddenly, both of you fall into something. Blood starts trickling out of her little fingers.

Surprisingly, there is a bandage before you. You give it to her and see a dark, cave like structure. You proceed into it.

And what you discover is even more surprising. A portal!

Anywhere away from these ugly creatures is okay for you.

You grab her hand and make a run for it, while she stres in awe.

And what a discovery you make! A whole cluster of weapons!

Now, you are the man with the rifle. You grab some pistols and place them into your pocket. Then you put on the bulletproof jacket and take a rifle in your hands. You walk out of the portal triumphantly.

She picks up a pistol and walks out of it. You have a feel that you could kill them all.

"What are we going to do now?" she asks you.

"Kill- them- all," you pronounce.

"Okay," she says.

"We shoot them all and take shelter somewhere," you say and try to climb the pit. The creatures watch you from above.

There would be something to climb this up as well.

You see a springy thing besides your leg. "Only once" is written on it with dark, bold letters. You jump on it and land before the ugly guys.

She comes up in the same way.

Come on, creatures.Β 

You load your gun and push the trigger. Simply, nothing comes out.

"Did you load the bullets?" she calls.

Then you realise that you didn't have any bullets and give her a slight grin. She had only six bullets for the pistol. You don't risk your life in that pit.

What if it's only for a single use?

So, you stand beside her waiting for your doom. You are too tired to run.

The world is in a diminished form. No building is standing upright. Everything is in ruins. A meteorite and a bomb at the same time did this to your world.

You didn't expect this apocalypse to happen.

Β You are disappointed with yourself for your carelessness.

The creatures approach you andΒ Layla. You want to die peacefully. So, you sit down with your hands on your head and shut your eyes.

The creatures stop suddenly.

A cool breeze runs over you. You turn back and see a large plate over your shoulders. The large plate lands on the ground and some weird guys with antennas come out of it. They are red and their eyes bulge out of their heads. Ultimately, a man gets down from the plate like thing.

You are relieved when you see a man. Layla heaves a sigh of relief too.

The man comes near you and whispers, "These are the stupidest aliens in the galaxy known as Xythes. They are easy to tackle. Please follow my orders."

"Yeah, sure," you say.

Β At least someone to help.

One of the aliens says, "Boss, this planet is very hot. The oxygen level is also low. Only one percent of water is remaining in this planet."

Boss alien replies, "Anything better than our planet is okay."

"Okay, boss."

Boss alien says, pointing at the ugly creatures, "I think they are also trying to rule this planet. We should kill them all."

The creatures leave out cries in response and approach the aliens while Layla and you follow the man onto the plate silently. The aliens take out their sophisticated weapons and start shooting the creatures.

"Do you know what they really are?" Layla asks the man, pointing the ugly creatures.

"Well, they are half dead creatures known as zombies. They crave for blood and if even a drop of their saliva touches you, you become one of them," he says.

"Ooooh, then that was close, Layla," you say.

He is an old man with white hair springing onto different sides. Although he looks old, he is fast enough.Β Β 

He embarks the spaceship and Boom! It starts with fire coming out of its engine, roasting the aliens. But they neither die nor realise their ship is stolen.

You make yourself comfortable in the spaceship and put on the seat belt.

"Okay, can you introduce yourself?" you ask him.

"Yeah, I forgot about it. I am a space wanderer and my name is Ronny," he says.

I have heard this name before.Β 

You start thinking about it when a meteoroid crashes the plate spaceship. Red lights cover the spaceship and it is totally out of control.

"Ronny," Layla calls, but he gives no answer and passes out.

"Do you know how to operate a spaceship?" you ask Layla.

"No. Why do you think I want Ronny's help?" she replies, panicking and goes to the control centre of the spaceship.

You pour some water on Ronny, but he doesn't wake up.

Layla pushes down all the buttons on the control centre and music starts playing with colourful lights.

Even aliens love parties!

Then the spaceship does a somersault. That is when you discover a planet nearby. The spaceship has a steering wheel. Layla and you try hard to turn the steering wheel and finally you turn it!

The planet looks rocky from outside and is yellow in colour. You have no choice but to land the spaceship on the planet. Ronny is also unconscious.

And suddenly, you remember him.

You leave the steering and go near Ronny.

"Father, please wake up," you say, patting his shoulders. A drop of tear touches his face from your eyes.

"Don't worry, my son. I am there for you," he says, patting your head.

"Yeah, you are alive," you exclaim with joy.

"Yeah, I am."

"Why did you run away?"

"Those stupid aliens kidnapped me."

"I think that is the reason you roasted them," Layla says.

"Let's talk about that afterwards. I think it's an engine failure. Someone has to go down and attach this thing to the engine," he says, showing you a pointy object.

"I will do it," you say and try to grab the object from him.

"Uh-huh. No way, I am doing it," he says and puts on the astronaut suit. He waves his hand and jumps into open space.

"Pull the steering when I say," your father shouts through the radio transmitter.

"Okay," Layla says.

After a while, Ronny shouts, "Nooooooow."

Layla pulls the steering towards the yellow planet.

The engine starts working! It's now much easier to pull the steering.

You, Layla and your father land on the planet safely. No, not safely. It is a crash landing. You run out of the plate spaceship and little did you know what was going to happen!

A bunch of the same type of red aliens is standing in front of you. Well, Xythes are cannibals.

They look hungry!










September 24, 2020 02:19

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387 comments

Skyler Woods
08:53 Sep 25, 2020

This story was wild! I loved the creation of the monsters. πŸ’— It felt creepy reading this because I wrote about a character named Layla who was involved with aliens.

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08:55 Sep 25, 2020

I am glad you loved the creation of monsters.❣️ What!!??? That's surprising. Wonderful. Great minds think alike (lol)

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Skyler Woods
09:24 Sep 25, 2020

They sure do!!

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09:25 Sep 25, 2020

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜œ Yeah!

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Mustang Patty
08:05 Sep 25, 2020

Hi there, Another great story full of descriptive language and action. The inner dialogue was a technique that was well used to describe the action. Loved the ending. ~MP~

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08:06 Sep 25, 2020

Hi there, Thank you! I am glad you loved the ending! Keerththan

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21:17 Sep 24, 2020

Ooooooooooh, cool story! Intriguing and creative. Good job!

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01:59 Sep 25, 2020

Thank you!

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Jane Andrews
18:03 Sep 24, 2020

I think you made a good decision here with your use of present tense to add tension and immediacy and also writing in second person so you effectively make your reader a character in the story. Well done - I think you are improving all the time.

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01:58 Sep 25, 2020

Thank you!

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Jubilee Forbess
17:50 Sep 24, 2020

Maybe this wasn’t even on purpose but my name is in this story. :) kind of. Because I’m Rhondalise on Reedsy and I go by Rhonny. Which is kind of like Ronny... any way! Beautiful story, lots of good action.

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01:58 Sep 25, 2020

Yeah, Rhonny or Ronny. That's wasn't on purpose. Just came to my head. Glad you liked it. Thank you for reading.

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13:02 Sep 24, 2020

Hi keerthu!! Its nice to see you writing innovative stories.. Keep going..my best wishes to you

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14:08 Sep 24, 2020

Thank you!

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The Cold Ice
06:27 Sep 24, 2020

I loved this story.Unexpected twist.I like the ending.Congrats for going to 8th place.Keep writing.Waiting more from you.

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06:28 Sep 24, 2020

Thank you!

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The Cold Ice
06:28 Sep 24, 2020

welcome.

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Charles Stucker
04:52 Sep 24, 2020

"Holding the hands of a girl, who is in a similar situation like you, you are running away from something, you can't really distinguish." Sort of a run-on. Easy fix is remove the repeat of you and change the comma between to a semicolon or dash. I mean, "Holding the hands of a girl, who is in a similar situation like you- running away from something, you can't really distinguish." , pointing at the ugly creatures," I think - your open quotes needs to be next to I not where it is. "No. Then why do I need Ronny's help?" If she doesn't ...

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05:02 Sep 24, 2020

Fixed everything you said. Glad to hear that from you. Thank you. Yeah, results are already amazing. Thank you for your support.

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06:19 Sep 24, 2020

Do you have any title ideas?

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Charles Stucker
07:07 Sep 24, 2020

Maybe a riff ion the term 'fight or flight' as "Bite or Flight?" since they fly away to avoid being bitten, but land on a planet of zombies... FYI- fight or flight are two ingrained instinctive reactions to trouble. You either fight back or run away.

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Akshat .
03:11 Sep 24, 2020

Very creative! You did have a few mistakes with the first and second person thing, but everyone has that on their first try! Nice job! I'm waiting for part 2!

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03:22 Sep 24, 2020

Thank you! I will try to write part 2. If you are free, please point out some mistakes. I am gonna proofread another time. Thank you for reading.

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Akshat .
03:43 Sep 24, 2020

You're welcome! Here are the places I saw some: 1. "you couldn't really distinguish." <-- Since your story is in the present tense, this should be "you can't really distinguish" 2. "I have heard this name before. " <-- Since your story is in the first person, this should be rephrased as "You have heard this name before"

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03:53 Sep 24, 2020

Thank you, Akshat. 1) yeah, I changed it. 2)Actually, that is not a mistake. The sentences written in the Italics are the thoughts. So it is right. Thank you for your suggestions. I owe you a lot. You know one thing? Reedsy replied to Clara for the downvoting thingy.

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Akshat .
04:38 Sep 24, 2020

You're welcome! Oh, okay, yeah that makes sense now. They did? What did they say? And who's Clara? (Like, give me the link to her account, I know she's an author lol)

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04:40 Sep 24, 2020

Someone from Reedsy answered me today. This was the reply: Thanks for reaching out. We’re aware of the recent β€œdownvoting spree” some of our users have been participating in, and we are currently investigating the situation and assessing options for addressing it. I appreciate you letting us know, though.

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02:22 Sep 24, 2020

Hey everyone -This is the first ever time I have written 2nd person point of view. -Title ideas welcome -Constructive criticism much appreciated Thank you for reading, Bros and sisses.

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Vameerah Darren
21:07 Oct 13, 2020

I absolutely love this story, how do you do upvoting? Because I love you and would love to support you in any way I can

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02:05 Oct 14, 2020

I am glad you love the story. There are two triangles near the author's name. The uppointing triangle is the upvoting button. The other triangle is a downvoting button. Thank you so much!

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Miguel Balinado
14:09 Oct 09, 2020

Interesting Sci-Fi story with lots of cool twists.

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14:12 Oct 09, 2020

Thank you for reading!

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Ashwin Jay
05:16 Oct 09, 2020

πŸ‘Œ

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05:19 Oct 09, 2020

Thanks!

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D. Shikha
15:50 Sep 29, 2020

Hey bro!!! What's up?? Um...a question-don't you have a nickname??

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15:51 Sep 29, 2020

Hey sis!!! I got leave for another 4 days. I will be online on a whole. And I am joining allpoetry! Whatever you want! Nobody calls me with a nickname. But if you want you may come up with a nickname.

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D. Shikha
16:02 Sep 29, 2020

Wow, nice!! Join it soon. I'll give you some points for welcome. And we have a Reedsy group over there, you can join that too. Lemme think. We all have names like Moon(me), Snow(Ugochi), Sky(Sia), Rainbow(Aerin) so maybe you can also have a nature related nickname. Tell me what you like.

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16:07 Sep 29, 2020

Joined it. But I have no idea how to share the link. I will send you when I find. Yo, Moon. Nice name. I love fire.

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D. Shikha
16:10 Sep 29, 2020

Just tell me your username, I'll follow you. Fire seems cool but in reality it's too hot. lol Btw ya know my name means FlameπŸ”₯

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16:15 Sep 29, 2020

Keerththan, I think. I really don't understand how it works. I can't go to your profile just by touching your account. Yeah. It's too hot. Yo, that's cool. Okay, that's hot.πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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Writer Maniac
07:42 Sep 25, 2020

I really enjoyed the story!!! I would suggest to pay attention to grammar while in the second person because it is quite easy to make a mistake there. Overall, great job!!! I would appreciate it if you read my latest story 'Silent Death', I would love to hear your thoughts:))

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08:05 Sep 25, 2020

Glad you enjoyed it! I would appreciate if you could point out some mistakes! I would love to!

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Writer Maniac
08:53 Sep 25, 2020

Alright then, here are some things I think that you can fix: 1. "And what you discovered is even more surprising. A portal!" Here, I would change 'discovered' to 'discover' because the story has been progressing so far in the present tense. 2. "You take some pistols and insert them into your pocket." I feel like 'place them in your pocket' or 'put them in your pocket' would be more appropriate. 3. "Then you realise that you didn't have any bullets and give a slight grin to her." In this case, 'give her a slight grin' would be more accurat...

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08:55 Sep 25, 2020

Thank you. I will change it now.

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