August 1st, 2039
We've all been friends for about seven or so years, though Achebe and Alexis have never met each other during any of that time. Though that's going to change today, we're all going to eat at a restaurant in a few hours. I'll tell you how it goes. -Roxanne
August 2nd, 2039
I don't think that it went as well as I was wanting it to go yesterday, we all met outside of the restaurant so the two of them could formally meet. Though something seemed a little...off with Alexis.
I was just sort of awkwardly standing next to the two of them as they talked and all that, I'm not sure how Achebe was feeling but...I swear I could see something in Alexis' eyes...- Roxanne
August 3rd, 2039
You know what? I think meeting the two of them were some of the best days of my life. I...don't remember exactly how I met Alexis all those years ago, Though I remember we ended up meeting when we were ten years old.
I can however remember fully how I ended up meeting Achebe. It was probably about a few weeks after I met Alexis and we ended up meeting at a pool. A town pool to be exact.
I have no clue though on how neither of them met each other until now, I thought that they would have at least ran into each other while trying to find me or something. That's a little strange, to be honest... -Roxanne
August 7th, 2039
I know I haven't been writing anything in this for a few days, so sorry if anyone is reading this for some reason. The past few days were just extremely boring and nothing really happened.
I texted the two of them a few minutes ago and luckily they both agreed to have a movie night with me. I kind of hope that if the two of them hang out a bit more, they'll become friends with each other.
We're going to watch a movie that I believe is called, "Otherworldly repairs" It seems like its sci-fi or futuristic, I've never actually watched the movie.
Well anyways, I'm going to go now, and then I'll tell you whatever happens. My gosh, I'm like eighteen and I'm writing in a stupid Diary, what am I doing with my life? I really should get rid of this. -Roxanne
August 8th, 2039
I think the movie night was a tad bit worse than the whole Restaurant thing I told you about. Alexis was the first to arrive, she at least seemed a little happy, though when Achebe arrived that's when she changed.
It felt like she was just going to remain silent for the whole time as Achebe had asked me, "Is something wrong with her? She wasn't like this a few days ago..."
That wasn't the bad part or anything, she was just a little confused. It's what happened with Alexis whenever Achebe decided to go to the bathroom.
"Roxie, why do you keep bringing that girl with us? She shouldn't even be here, it should only be me and you!" I'd list what else she said but...it was bad. Is she jealous or something? -Roxanne
August 11th, 2039
Over the last couple of days, whether the two of them were with me or if it was just me and Alexis, it kept happening. She just always seemed...annoyed or confused, maybe even a bit upset with that look in her eyes.
I'm not sure if she actually hates her, or if she's just a little upset since it's usually just the two of us. Maybe it's both? Though either way, I'm still going to try and make them hang out to become friends and not enemies.
In fact, I already did something for the two of them. I know that Alexis might not like it, though I'm making the two of them go for a long walk together tomorrow, I'm not going with them though. It's just for the two of them. -Roxanne
August 14th, 2039
I have no idea what's going on, I haven't said anything for the past few days since I've been looking for the two of them. I was waiting the whole day for them to come back, but they never did.
I wasn't freaking out when it first happened, of course, it was a bit late when they would have come back so I thought that they just fell asleep somewhere and didn't have the time to reply.
Achebe's parents had already got a missing person report out for both of them once we realized that we couldn't find them anywhere. We searched a lot of places over the last few days...though I have an idea of where to go next. -Roxanne
August 16th, 2039
I found both of them. Earlier this morning when I was about to head off to where they went on that walk, Alexis was outside waiting for me. I could tell something was wrong by her expression as she then said, "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean for it to happen."
I didn't really think much of that besides being a little happy that she was back until I found her. Achebe was where the two of them went on that walk, just like I thought.
She had fallen though, she had fallen off of a cliff. I wish I could just say that she was alive and alright, but that wasn't true at all, she was dead. She was gone.
Did...Alexis kill her?! I know she seemed like she hated her or was at least jealous but why would she go that far? It was a terrible idea to leave those two alone, I got her killed... -Roxanne
August 18th, 2039
I haven't told anyone about what happened, not even the Police, I don't want Alexis coming after me as well. She might be able to even break out of prison if I put her in there.
She's been texting me for the last couple of days about it, though I haven't been responding to her, I'm thinking of blocking her completely in every way. Everyone knows that Achebe is dead, though they'll never know how it happened...
She's been texting me things like, "I'm so sorry it was never supposed to happen, please forgive me!" and "It was just a mistake, please you have to trust me on this...maybe I could fix it." Hah, no she couldn't, how would you fix something like this?
I'm going to try my best to figure out what to, maybe I could try to avenge her or something. That's what a friend would try to do, right...? I don't have anyone else to talk to, so this is the best thing to do. -Roxanne
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488 comments
Hey Bee! I love the diary format again! Maybe you should try longer diary entries that go deeper into Roxanne's feelings because I wasn't really feeling her emotions. My favorite part is when Roxanne is trying to figure out what happened to Achebe. Also, love the names! :)
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Thanks, im glad you liked it ^^ though I kind of like doing diary entries a bit short because even then you could still get at least quite a bit of stuff even with it being short. I like using unique or strange names most of the time, so I'm glad you liked those as well
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I mean, I make my diary entries super long and make my character pour out all that they're feeling since it's a vice, but whatever floats your boat! :) So, what've you been doing these past few days?
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Nothing really, just working on a lot of stuff and just talking to you and the others on here
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Lol, same, I guess. I've been getting at least 7 pages of notifications a day :P It's nice, my notifs never used to be like that
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i'm sometimes surprised when i end up getting a lot of comments and stuff
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I'm extremely sorry if this story is terrible or anything like that, though I hope you all like it and that you like the story being in a diary format again like the other ones. This is a story that I'm doing with Laiba M, her part will eventually be out, so you should check her out and talk with her ^^
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Oh man, that was intense. I wasn't sure where it was going at first but when they didn't come back from the walk I started to feel the anxiety. This was a great story. I like this unique style. Yes, there is a lot to fit into a shot space and this was a creative way to do it. Keep up the good work! Robert
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Thanks, im glad that you liked the story, a friend is doing the next part of the story so maybe ill tell you whenever she finishes her part ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?
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Believe it or not, the part about the two going off to talk and one (supposedly) pushed the other off the cliff actually happened in our hometown. Not proven but very suspicious circumstances. That part got my attention very quick. Robert
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Oh
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Lol, I'm confused... just a few minutes ago you were Luna Lovegood, or was that a glitch???
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I changed my name to Luna Lovegood a few hours, then i had enough fun with it and decided to just change back.
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This is so good! I love that you included "Otherworldly Repairs" in this, and the story itself is very mysterious and interesting. Good job! I want more!
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thanks, im glad that you liked it ^^ did you have a favorite part or anything like that?
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I liked it all, to be honest.
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Otherworldly repairs will actually be getting another part soon
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Really? Nice!
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Yeah, i just couldnt continue that series or really any of the others with these prompts
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I love how you use the "diary" esque format so much. This one isn't a diary per se but you divide the sections by days and it works really well. I also love the name Achebe. And I love that it's set in the future. Well done, B. You've gotten so much better at writing and it's a delight to see.
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The first time i wrote in the diary format a few months ago or so was because I didn't know how to write the story in a regular way with how it was going, but now I actually like it and decide to write that way a lot ^^ Laiba was the one to actually come up with the name Achebe and I can agree, its good. How better would this be compared to my very first story on here?
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It's such a fun format and such a pretty name. Well, your first few stories had grammar holes, like forgetting to capitalize words and stuff. In that respect you've improved 100%. In other respects, like character and dialogue, I'd say 25-50% improvement. It takes time for those things but you've improved rapidly.
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When i first started making stories on here and all that, were my characters and dialogue really terrible or something then?
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This is great! Love the diary format :)
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thanks ^^ did you have a favorite part or anything like that?
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To be honest, I liked "August 8th, 2039" the best.
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anything else ya wanna say?
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Oooh, you definitely kept up the suspense right from the beginning. Once again, I think the diary format is working out for you, it definitely keeps me interested and helps to unravel the story bit by bit. Great work, B! My favourite part would definitely be when the whole thing is finally revealed.
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thanks, im glad ya liked it ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?
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Yeah, I already told you, the part where the whole thing is revealed.
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Ooooohhhh noice!! I love it! It seems very realistic for a diary! Maybe you should add a little a out how Roxanne felt when she found out that Alexis killed Achebe. <3
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Thanks, im glad that you liked it and all that ^^ did ya maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?
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The beginning ^^
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what do ya think about the names?
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Their cuteeeee
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ya think so?
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I LOVE this concept! The diary entries must be your trademark, and it works so well. It feels as if I am watching a documentary on this poor girl slowly noticing her friend's *real* personality. Not going to lie, I gasped a few times while reading this (in a good way, the suspense and subtle hints were well placed ;) ). I was getting some much-appreciated thriller vibes from this, great short story! I enjoyed reading this.
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I'm glad you liked this one ^^ Tbh I didn't think it would be that good, I never really thought that I was good with suspense or anything. Sometimes diary entries are just easier for me to do, and they're just pretty fun. Whenever or if I make my next story on here at some point, I might do another diary entry again.
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You never know until you try! I quite enjoyed it, it is subtle but there is a huge impact in the final entries. You could add some new techniques and spice things up, but everything here works fairly well to get the point across. I hope you do this again, that was a great read!
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Well, maybe my next story could be something with Horror, I've been wanting to do it recently. And if you want, you could check out some of my other stories again. I'd love to see what you think for the others ^^
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Ah, yes, I can see that! Try it out and see if it works. Of course, I am going to look at a few now. (Sometimes reading from other perspectives helps my writing process, so I will! I am jazzed-up and motivated to do some work over on my next short story.) I will leave some of my thoughts for sure. :)
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I don't think I'll be putting this other stuff on here, but recently I've been working on a few new stories on a different thing, mostly just for fun and myself. All of them are mostly just Fantasy as well, and one of them is like a 'found family' type story, mostly because I've always loved that trope and stuff.
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(This actually is the scene about Cora getting injected with the cybernetic virus. I didn't know how else to post a message about it to you. I wanted the margins to be wide enough that it's readable, rather than scrunched-up. I hope it's not too long. It's between 5 and 6 single-spaced pages. Hope you enjoy reading it. Btw, I haven't edited it much, so there may be some errors that I haven't fixed yet. It says "(to be con't)" at the end because I ran out of ideas about what would happen next.) (Also, If you could start a new thread f...
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If you're wanting to just start a new thread now, which I understand because I always hate how small it gets after a while, we can just keep talking on this one? I really enjoyed this one and I didn't really find a lot of errors in it or anything. If you want to continue with this, then I could suggest what happens after this little scene? Or it could be something different, and not related to the whole prison thing?
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Sounds good. I didn't know how to start a brand-new thread like you seemed to have done before. I just searched for one of your stories where the thread margins were still wide enough so that what I submitted in a response message was still easily readable. I guess it worked all right. I wish that this website's software allowed for threads that have nothing to do with submitted stories. But I guess that's what things like email are for. Feel free to make suggestions. It's your story (mostly, anyway). I'm just trying to help out. A...
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Well, I did think of this idea a little while ago, what do you think: Cora gets really terrible Amnesia when something happens, and she's scared of both Axel and Reboot, who have to try and get her memory back and all of that. I've always kind of liked little ideas like this and some other things because it's interesting to see what the character with Amnesia would do or act when they don't remember anything, and how the other characters will react to all of this happening to them. This is off-topic of the story but you still mentioned it, t...
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I don't think I'm that any better at memory-loss scenes than I am at death scenes. But I'll do some brainstorming here and see what I come up with before I start typing in an offline document. Maybe as part of the cybernetic virus injection (and the changes the virus makes in Cora's hippocampus, where memories are stored), she has memory problems? I'm not sure if she'd be scared of Axel and Reboot, but she might be confused as to who they are when they finally arrive at her prison cell and try to rescue her. "You're who?" she asked them....
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Hm, if you want, I could explain to you all of the things that the Virus would eventually do to Cora and everything? That way it would probably be a little bit easier with some of the writing?
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Hi
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Reading this again... So satisfying, but not really satisfying, b because there's a deeper emotion in there, one I can't name... I'm gonna keep reading this. Over and over.
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You liked this one that much?
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Sure did! :)
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thanks ^^
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You're welcome :)
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:)
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I know who you can be in the Harry Potter theme!!! her name is Nymphadora Tonks. Google her ehheheheheheh :)
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is she in a lot of the stuff?
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She's in a lot from book 4-7 because she's an adult
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Yah, Luna! great story! I like how this one is a diary format, too! Achibi dying... That got me. That got me good. Keep writing such great stories!
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You can still call me B, im only named Luna for a little while longer because other friends changed their names to Harry Potter characters as well ^^ though thanks and I'm glad that you liked it.
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Okay, B!
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No, i think people can still tell what it is and it looks great ^^
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Thanks!
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Problem, i was wanting to continue one of my series on here or something, though with these prompts i cant do any of them :/
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Are you doing anything for the sugar and spice prompt? I'd love to hear how your writing style would interpret the prompts! I bet it would be epic.
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By the way, I like your profile picture. You can actually tell what it is, unlike mine. Mine is a girl crying by a fence, but half her face got cropped out.
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I really liked how how wrote it. It was very interesting. My favorite part was when she realized-or just assumed- that Alexis had killed her. Great job!
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Thanks im glad ya liked it ^^
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You’re welcome! Could you check out my story?
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I will soon ^^ though could ya maybe help me with something first?
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Yes of course. Anything.
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Thats fine ^^ i could tell ya whenever you get back or something then
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Hey B I'm signing off for tonight. I'll talk to you later. I have a game in the morning so it might have to be at like noon-ish.
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Hi, B. I really liked this story. The way it was written as a diary was especially interesting. I really liked how you wrote it not from the person who would have to atone, but from the person they had to atone to. -Whirl
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Thank you, im glad that ya liked it and all that ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part in the story or anything like that?
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Hi B! Great story, loved the diary version. Fit with the prompt! BTW, mind checking out my latest stories?
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Thanks, im glad that you liked it ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?
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I liked the ending.
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alright ^^
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so how's your day?
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kinda boring
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Would ya mind leaving feedback on my latest story "Clover Catastrophe"? Thanks!
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I'll do it soon ^^
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Hi B.W. this was yet again a wonderful story written in a diary format. I just love how you come up with unique names like Achebe. When I try deciding a name I usually spent at least half an hour. Great job again!! It was sad that Achebe du red though.....and did Alexis actually do that?
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I'm doing this story with a friend, she was the one that actually came up with Achebe though I still come up with unique and strange names besides that ^^ Speaking of my friend, shes doing the next part of the story that will be in the POV of Alexis, which will hopefully show her side of the story and all that.
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Wow! Waiting for that XD
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