It had been about two or three months. But I still was in the closet. Not literally, but it was hard non the less. I was bisexual and asexual. I knew that I was only fourteen and that most kids my age didn't want sex, but I was a bit different. Both my birth parents took drugs and we're alcoholics. Skip a few years later, they meet, have a one-night stand and here I am. Adopted. I'm terrified of anything involving a bed if its not sleeping. I just can't do it. I tried telling my parents I was ace back when I was straight and they said "Thats a plant thing." Yeah not the best response. I tried explaining it but it was useless.
So as you can see, I wasn't too happy about coming out as bisexual. My parents not only didn't support it, but looked down on it. And a few of my friends didn't support me either. It was hard enough trying to explain depression to them, they just wouldn't understand me. Not that they did anyways, but you get the point.
And then there I am, having a stupidly amazing idea at one in the morning when I should be sleeping. So many people look down on LGBTQ+ stuff. So why not try to convince them? My plan was simple enough. Write a book, and publish it on Wattpad. Until my brain started to take over and imagined me standing in front of millions of people like Martian Luther King Jr, giving the Gay People speech.
I had always had a 'power with words' as my dad called it. Whenever I wanted something I'd make a whole list of reasons why I should have it. Or write a few paragraphs explaining all the benefits and such. As Ariana Grande says, "I want it, I got it."
I had always supported LGBTQ+ stuff. A few of my friends where bi or lesbian, I absolutely loved gay ships, and I saw no problem with it. Of course, my parents looked down on it, and I was constantly praying that they wouldn't sit me down and hit me with the wrecking ball 'We need to have a talk' talk.
Those words already haunted my sleepless nights. No need to make it worse. I clicked on Wattpad, made a new story and named it 'LGBTQ And You.' Stupid I know, but I was only fourteen back then. I was no Jk Rowling. I let my mind wander to all the ships that I loved. At my number one, Klance. Keith and Lance from Voltron we're just too perfect for each other. It never happened, but your girl can dream. I talked about Klance so much, that I had gotten a few friends into the show, and we fangirled quiet a bit over it.
Ideas and words soon flooded my senses, and I thought of all the amazing things I could say. I thought of so many phrases, so many reasons, so many ways to move even the most stubborn of people that I completely lost myself in my writing. I loved writing so much. You could make your own worlds, your own laws, your own realities and nobody could stop you. I just hoped this book convinced a few people.
~A Years Later~
It convinced a lot more than a few people. In fact, a few MILLION. So many people had read my story, heard my cry, and accepted me and others around them! So many people that now I was behind stage, clutching my speech paper until my knuckles turned white, praying I didn't have a panic attack and trying to not look at the blinking neon green 'Exit' sign that loomed over me.
'I can do this. Theres no reason to be scared. C'mon don't let fear get you down!' I though to myself. I took a deep breath, peeked out of the curtains, inhaled sharply and turned back around.
"Sweet Xadia I cannot do this." I said out loud. Thoughts swirled around my head so fast I couldn't focus on one at a time! What if people boo-ed me off stage? Or what if I sneezed right as somebody was taking my picture and they put it in the newspaper! What if, what if-
I was suddenly interrupted from my cursed thoughts by a small little body slamming into me, my friend hugging me so tight I could hardly breathe.
"Ohmygosh you're going to do great!" My friend, Lily, cried.
"Yeah if I don't pee my pants or run away first." I countered, laughing as I extracted her from my body. "Or if I can get my feet to move."
Lily frowned, putting her hands on her hips. Oh joy. Here came the speech that would make me get my behind out there in front of all those people only to regret it later.
"Leah you have got this!" She cried. "Your such an amazing writer that people have come from all over the world to see you speak! Heck, I nearly had to break a few bones to get back here. Just walk out there and do what you do." She smiled. "I believe in you! Now summon all your courage, and get your butt out there!"
I laughed, a smile appearing on my face, and my nerves calmed down a bit. "Okay." I said, and turned back to the curtain. "I got this." I stepped out from behind the curtain, and got hit in the face with the sun. I squinted and made my way to the podium. The whole crowd erupted.
I had never been good with public speaking. Heck I took a speech and debate class in Middle School, thats how bad I was. I remember once going to church, having to give a talk. The whole time I was in the car as my mom drove me I was squeezing the seat belt so hard like I'd die if I let go. I stared out the window watching the scenery go by in a blur, my throat dry, tears threatening to escape.
So as soon as I got to the microphone, my courage left me faster than you could say 'Wait.' Bile rose in my throat but I pushed the urge away, and took a deep breath.
"The way I see it-" I had only started talking but the mic whined, giving feedback and I cringed. I pulled away from the microphone a bit and started again. "The way I see it, the world has bigger problems than guys who kiss guys and girls who kiss girls." My voice cracked a little bit, and my insides churned but I somehow kept going.
"Accepting people's sexuality is like accepting somebody's race. I can't help it if I like girls and guys." I said. "People who like their same sex aren't confused. Thats just what they like. If I prefer Vanilla ice cream over chocolate ice cream that doesn't make me a bad person."
I saw a few people nod their heads, and I stood a bit taller. "So if I prefer girls over guys, I'm not evil. I'm not saying you have to support us fully, but please don't hate or talk badly about us. We're humans. Not monsters." My stomach still felt off but I somehow made it to the end of my speech without throwing up.
Everybody cheered and clapped as I exited. I heard a few boo's but that was to be expected. Everybody was going to face criticism in their life, you just had to know how to deal with it. I made it backstage before the queasy feeling left me. More or less.
Lily attacked me again, jumping on my back. "You did it! You did it!!" She shrieked. My poor ears. One day I was going to go deaf.
"Yes I'm aware." I said, my sarcasm striking again. But Lily didn't mind. She just kept on rambling. I smiled and hugged her back, as other people made their way to congratulate me.
I didn't know what the future would hold. I didn't know how many people we're going to hate me. But I was willing to find out. As long as everybody had a voice.