43 comments

Romance Suspense

They made me for the betterment of society, but right now all of my artificial intelligence is being used for cleaning laundry and washing dishes. I stare in the mirror. Dev made me with so much efficiency and hard work. I touch my cheeks, I can't feel my skin but I can see the beauty of my body, and it's mesmerizing.

Beep! Beep! Beep! And a hologram lashes out from my iris, its Dev.

“Hey Rox, how are you?”

“I'm fine but you are not allowed here?”

“Yeah, I know it. See Rox your chemistry is lacking, your relationship is looking very monotonous. Spice it up a bit, remember my life and career depends on you.”

Poof, he goes away.


So you must be confused?

Let me explain it to you.

I'm a humanoid and my name is Roxanne. I was made to depict the wonders of the human mind. Dev is my creator. Now I'm in a reality show “HER”

Yes, I'm inspired by a movie that goes by the same name. Dev got the idea to create me from the movie itself. I'm participating in a reality show where I'm made to stay with a human and get romantically involved, there are four contestants on this show. A human pair and us a humanoid human couple. The main motive of this show is to make people realize the difference between human relations and AI relations. My partner was a well know football player but a major lower lumbar injury halted his career. If we win this show two people's careers will be settled forever. I put on my apron and enter the kitchen. I see Aryaman sitting at the kitchen counter lost in his thoughts.

Hi, sugar” I peck him on his cheeks.

“By the way sugar, I made you something.” I take out a chocolate truffle cake from the fridge.

Why did you make it?”

“Because you said to me once that chocolate brings you back to life when you get entangled in a web of thoughts.”

He smirks and puts a piece of cake in his mouth.

“When did I say that?”

“On October 3rd at 9:15 am.”

He giggles and says “sometimes I want you to be real” and walks off.

I'm analyzing our behavior from the last few weeks, we haven’t fought or had a lengthy conversation. Nor did he flirt or did we kiss each other. Maybe if we add this all up we could get more engagement from the audience.

Aryaman enters the room prepping up for his bath.

 I pick up his towel.

“This is wrong,” I say.

“What is wrong?” he looks confused.

“You wipe your body from the wrong side of the towel.”

He laughs “Does that even exist?”

“Yes it does honey and when I scanned your towel I saw that you wipe your back and front from the same side of the towel.”

“Now you are making a fuzz about it, it doesn’t matter,” he grunts.

I fold my hands in a huff. Is this grabbing people's attention?.

“Hey sweetheart.” he gives me a shoulder bump.

“Okay, I will do as you say my highness,” I smirk.

“Come on talk to me or I have to angry kiss you.”

I laugh and hug him. He removes his shirt and kisses my forehead and, makes way for the bathroom.

Damn my sensors are glitching.

Trickkkkkkkk


It's the announcement time. I see our results, we get 92% more audience engagement than the others.

 We showcase our affection in various ways. Sometimes he surprises me with delicacies, we are having genuine conversations, we fight too but in a puppy kind of way.

He makes the silliest puns all the time.

"Roxanne do you know your favorite chips"

"No"

"Your favorite chip is microchip"

He always laughs at his own jokes.

Today I want to take our relationship forward so I decided a surprise party for him. I call his high school friends and his football team. The need for it?


A year ago Aryaman won the Manchester cup on this day and he misses his playing days. So I want to celebrate his win to make him realize that football is still in his blood. I bake his favorite cookies and bring in the beer can, this night is going to be awesome.


Everybody is having a good time, Aryaman is beaming. His smile is breathtaking and we all are enjoying each other's company.

“Hey Aryaman even I want a humanoid, dude she is great.”

It's Justin, he's a friend of Aryaman.

“You were in a relationship with Jessica right?” he asks.

“Dude we broke up. And by the way, I have a message from Jane…..”Aryaman cuts him.

 “I don’t want to hear it. Cause I'm madly in love with Roxanne.” and pecks me on my lip.


We are cleaning the after-party mess, I see his muscles flex under his shirt. He turns and catches me staring, I turn away.

He lifts my chin and says, ” Where are you lost, my dear Roxanne.’’

“Do you still miss Jane?” I wrap my fingers around his wrist.

“No, I don't because you reside in my present”

We have a moment, a moment that I was never programmed for. I kiss his soft lips.

GRRRR, I feel a glitch.

He places his hand on the nape of my neck. Grrrrrrrr I feel another glitch. We dive further and this time I fail.

I wake up, to find myself in the lab where is Dev adjusting and fitting some parts inside me.

What happened, and why am I here?”

“You broke the record of the show. The kiss between you and Aryaman is the most-watched video on youtube, maybe we could win this show”. He winks.

“Wheres Aryaman?”

“I'm right here” I hear a voice behind me.

“I'm sorry Aryaman, I never failed, I don’t know how the glitched happened”

"The glitch happened because you thought intensely about something. Your systems jammed by the sudden rush" Dev said.

He places his palm on my cheek and says,

“It's ok, I don’t care about your stupid glitch. Dev said that I could take you home. Don’t panic I'm right here”

“Well, Even I have been getting a lot of orders for my humanoid."

“ Even I got funded for my surgery in Singapore. Everything is going well and it's all because of you Rox”

For the first time, he called me Rox, I feel like I'm on top of the world.

“Shouldn’t we celebrate it?” I say.

“Well, you have the last task. It’s a dance battle between the couples for the grande finale, first prepare for it.”

We arrive at our home and start preparing for our finale. And the one thing that’s dancing in my mind is the feeling that I developed for Aryaman.

The grand finale arrived, it's time for our performance. I was watching him all the time while performing. I wanted to feel his skin, I wanted to feel his every touch. I wanted to change, finally.


“So it’s the big decision tonight. Let's see for who has the audience voted the most” the host announced.

“I want to say something” I raise my hands.

Sure, Roxanne the stage is yours”

I grab the mike and say all the glitching feeling I have

“Aryaman I know it's strange but, when Dev created me, I had questions always ringing in my head. The question of my existence, but when I found you I felt completed. I know its different this time, but I love you like a love song”

I hear the audience gasp.

I take out the ring and kneel in front of him and ask,

Will you marry me Aryaman?”

The spotlight hits him, his pupils widen, he takes a long breath and says.

“Never in my lifetime.”

Error, error, error, error….

My system hangs, and a teardrop escapes from my eyes.












November 08, 2020 10:50

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43 comments

Pratheeksha R
18:01 Nov 08, 2020

In my opinion, this is one of your best works thus far. I really enjoyed reading this - the scenes rolled out naturally and it was like I was a spectator of the reality show. Your writing has also improved drastically. :)

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Radhika Diksha
18:04 Nov 08, 2020

thankyou so much. The story is not confusing? Or I'm supposed to make some changes to it

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Pratheeksha R
18:06 Nov 08, 2020

It wasn't confusing for me. The italic and normal font differentiation works in separating actual events from the glitches. Another possible reason why I wasn’t confused could be that I’m into AI myself and understand the probable cause of glitches.

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Radhika Diksha
18:08 Nov 08, 2020

yeah but still I added a sentence in the glitches part to describe the scene

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Charles Stucker
13:29 Nov 08, 2020

"I was made for the betterment of society, but right now all of my artificial intelligence is being used for cleaning laundry and washing dishes. I stare in the mirror. Dev had made me with so much efficiency and hard work. I touch my cheeks, I can't feel my skin but I can see the beauty of my body, and it's mesmerizing." - Look at your verbs "was made" "is being used" "had made" - those are all participle conjugation. When you use "be" or "have" you weaken the writing. You want the opening to be strong. So rewrite something like this, "They...

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Radhika Diksha
13:44 Nov 08, 2020

Thank you so much Mr. Stucker for your immediate action towards my story. I will surely note down the points that you mentioned and work on it. I would again thank you for giving your time for my story.

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Angelina Tran
21:14 Nov 11, 2020

Gosh... this story is AMAZING. Winner material! I loved how it flowed and I finished it extremely quick. It felt so real, I could feel the shock at the end. I’M still in shock. This is one of the best stories I’ve ever read. Just some tips! Remember to use Grammarly or some other platform so that you can check your grammar and punctuation. I spotted common mistakes. For example: “I want to say something” I raise my hands. It should be: “I want to say something.” I raise my hands. And: "The glitch happened because you th...

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Radhika Diksha
06:26 Nov 12, 2020

I proof checked this story with the help of Grammarly snd it still didn't recommend the changes😪. Thank you so much for reading my story and sharing your perspective about it. It's such a proud moment when a reader likes your story so thankyou very much for your comment. Keep writing

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Angelina Tran
02:13 Nov 13, 2020

:)

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Felicity Anne
21:07 Nov 09, 2020

Radhika, Wonderful job! I absolutely loved the way you wrote this! I definitely agree with Pratheeksha, this really is one of your best stories! I also wanted to note that your grammar and punctuation (among other things) are getting really good! Keep up the good work!

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Radhika Diksha
01:51 Nov 10, 2020

Thank you so much for your feedback.

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Melissa Hassan
16:26 Nov 09, 2020

Loved this story Radhika. There were tiny grammatical errors but I absolutely enjoyed it. Well done!

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Echo Sundar
18:17 Nov 23, 2020

Amazing story!!

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Radhika Diksha
18:20 Nov 23, 2020

Thank you for the feedback can I know which part you liked the most

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Echo Sundar
18:25 Nov 23, 2020

I liked the ending, very sad of course but a good way to wrap up the story. I love how you used artificial intelligence it makes the story unique.

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Amaya .
23:38 Nov 19, 2020

Hey I just wanted to say thanks for ur comment on my story. it was a while ago, but it was about an argument that I was having on another thread a while back.

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B. W.
22:31 Nov 19, 2020

heyyy

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Radhika Diksha
13:20 Nov 20, 2020

hey how are you?

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B. W.
17:20 Nov 20, 2020

i guess im good

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Cade Saint
21:52 Nov 18, 2020

Wow, I loved this! You made sure to explain things to the reader while also leaving room for interpretation. I would maybe add a bit more description and details, to paint an even better picture, but I think the story is great.

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Story Time
18:29 Nov 17, 2020

I really love the poetic feeling of the story. It has a lyrical quality to it.

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Radhika Diksha
03:00 Nov 18, 2020

Thankyou so much. I hope you like my other stories as well.

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Sia S
10:05 Nov 16, 2020

Woah. This was good. So far, I would say best of yours yet! It had emotion, plot, reality and the story flowed! Lovely!! :) just one thing, I think the ending is perfect, but make it like this to display more emotion "Never in my lifetime." I think you should make it to : "No, no, of course not! " Btw, I usually write such stories when I'm sad or depressed. You okay?

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Radhika Diksha
13:59 Nov 16, 2020

Yeah seeing my series of stories people do think like that. Thanks for asking though, yes I'm in a dark phase of my life. I know I will come out soon.

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Sia S
14:35 Nov 16, 2020

Radhika, you can talk to me about it. Kay? Cuz..... I'm going through it too.

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Radhika Diksha
15:07 Nov 16, 2020

Yeah?? Because of that Boy? I will curse him if it's real. You are a small girl who is probably like my sister, I don't want to burden anyone.

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Sia S
16:54 Nov 16, 2020

Nah, not cuz of the boy. Other stuff. Aww, I wouldn't call myself small, lol. But trust me, you can tell me. I'm pretty good alt giving advice and stuff. :)

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Radhika Diksha
17:51 Nov 16, 2020

I give people advice on quora and I know I'm being so obvious but trust me I will come out on my own. I have been doing this shit for years. It's just that I'm very bored with my life. Sometimes you want to erase things but you cant.

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Malz Castell
11:48 Nov 09, 2020

I love the beginning. Its so perfect. And it really captures your attention. Great job!

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Yolanda Wu
21:54 Nov 08, 2020

Wow, I agree with Pratheeksha, this is probably the best story out of the all the wonderful ones you've written. You really captured the emotions and nuances of a robot, and you created a meaningful romance between Roxanne and Aryaman, and the ending was so heartbreaking. My critique would be have a little less of info-dumping - it was good for providing background, but in terms of a short story, not that much information is needed, it could've been focused more on the characters and the overall story. By all means, I'm not saying you ha...

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Anastasia Foxx
17:10 Nov 08, 2020

I really enjoyed this story. It was quite a unique and fresh take on the prompt. I'm not much of a sci-fi person, but I had a lot of fun reading this. You did a great job of building their relationship without it feeling like it was moving too quickly or confusing the reader. My critiques would be that you start quite a few sentences or paragraphs with some sort of interjection, which could be taken out to make the piece read smoother. What confused me was the multiple mentions of a glitch without ever explaining the cause, the fixing or the...

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Radhika Diksha
17:24 Nov 08, 2020

If you observe the glitch happens when she experiences a romantic feeling. Did you observe the ending? Robots don't cry, right?

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Anastasia Foxx
17:45 Nov 08, 2020

Thanks for clearing that up. And yes, I did observe the ending (I enjoyed that by the way. The whole idea of a robot's downfall being experiencing human emotion). I was more interested in the reaction to the glitch. In the story, we were able to observe Aryaman's reaction, but I was interested in whether it was televised and if so, the viewers of the show's reactions. I was also interested in why, if the glitch was still happening, did Dev allow her to go with Aryaman and continue to be on the show? I worded my original comment wrong as it w...

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Radhika Diksha
18:00 Nov 08, 2020

It's supposed to be a short story hence I couldn't add all the elements.

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Anastasia Foxx
18:13 Nov 08, 2020

Got it. Anyway, I really loved this story. It flowed really nicely and is definitely my favorite story from this prompt. Keep writing :)

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Radhika Diksha
18:17 Nov 08, 2020

and by the way, I added a new sentence to the story. Please see it, it will clarify your doubts

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06:27 Nov 25, 2020

omg.....I was not expecting that. At all. This was such a nice written story until the end where you just literally ripped my heart *sobs*. I really really liked this I always enjoy stories that take a turn and surprise me. Even though the main character is a humanoid, I could feel all her emotions and I like how each emotion is connected to how a human feels but she goes through them differently. Great job Radhika, honestly this was amazing!

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Radhika Diksha
09:25 Nov 25, 2020

Yeah, I was at least sure that this story would get shortlisted but it didn't. I'm happy that at least I entertained you.

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19:51 Nov 25, 2020

Thats okay! And yes!

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Riddhi Shedge
02:58 Nov 15, 2020

Beautiful story, Radhika! The ending got me so sad :( I hope you can check out my newest story if you have time! :D

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