The hotel event room will be crowded, and noisy, devoid of furniture except for a row of tables pushed against the back wall, serving exclusive red and white wines, and a wide selection of lavish cheese, imported from all across the world. Couples, some wearing crisp black suits and some donning long, flowing dresses, will dance stiffly around you. Sleek robots of different shapes and sizes will zoom around the room, cleaning spills and refilling the cheese platter. All of it will scream wealth.
You will sip red wine tentatively, hating the sharp, acidic taste of it. But everyone here has a drink or is dancing, and you’ll stand out doing neither, so you will hold the thin stem of the wineglass in your hand. You will be fearful of your wineglass being crushed if you grip it too tightly, so you hold it too lightly. It will slip from your fingers and shatter with a muffled crash, breaking into a million pieces. You will lurch back, but not fast enough. Red wine will soak the front of your suit, soaking through to your skin, an ugly stain that reminds you almost like a map spreading across your shirt. The people around you will shake their heads in dismay, and everyone will steer clear from that spot, walking around it like it’s not even there, until a janitor bot mops it up and scrapes the glass pieces, glittering in the light, into a trash can.
Tears will blur your eyes, whispers will break out among the people closest. You were supposed to blend in. You’re clumsy, it will already be obvious you don’t belong here before the wins spills, and you’ll be painfully aware of it. Which of the other guests will have had to sneak in through an unlocked back window to access the engagement party?
Sure, it’s the engagement party of the richest man in the world, so it’s strictly private, invitation only.
But you’re Ralph Eisenberg’s biological child, given away and adopted at 6 months old. You will not even know that until the week before this engagement party. Even after the lengths you went to to be at the engagement party, you still won't sure why you're there. To talk to Ralph- your dad?
You’ll turn and flee, not knowing where you’re going, heading for the only door you can find. You will push open the door and emerge in the hotel lobby, startling the lobby receptionist and the two unformed security guards that stand before the gold revolving doors. The door will close behind you, and suddenly all will be quiet and you’ll breathe deeply, relieved.
You were raised in a normal family. Middle-class, loving. For the thousandth time since you found out about your biological father, you will think about how different you might be if he had never gotten rid of you.
You don’t fit in with these types of people, and you’ll know it.
“Can I help you?” The receptionist will ask. You will have stopped crying while running, the tears starting to dry on your face as you shake your head.
“I’m okay, thanks.” You will shift uncomfortably in your soaked clothes while the receptionist tries not to stare. Then you’ll head for the hotel’s main doors, thinking you’d better call a taxi and leave, reaching for the phone in your pocket. But as you’re watching the doors turn, waiting for your chance to step in, someone will bang through the door to the hotel event room in the same way you will have done only a few seconds ago. You will turn to look at him. He will stand against the door, but won’t lean against it. You will keep watching him, and you won’t know why.
You will feel like there’s something off-putting about him, something verging on uncomfortable. You will watch him curiously, as he seemingly stares into space, and you’ll realize with a start that his eyes seem empty, devoid of life. And his movements. They’re smooth at first glance, but as you watch you will notice the slight jerk of his arms, the way each movement seems to be made up of little ones. You will shiver. He will turn around to head back inside, and adjust the collar on his shirt. You will glimpse a flash of green at the nape of his neck, and then he will be gone, and you’ll be left staring at a swinging door, wondering if you imagined it.
You will notice the receptionist staring at you.
“Are you sure you’re okay, ma’am?”
“Yes, yes, sorry.” You will switch directions. “I was actually heading back inside.”
The receptionist will give you an odd look but then shrug and return to their work.
As you open the door, the noise of the party will reappear. You’ll scan the tops of the crowd, covering your front with your arms to try to hide the wine stain, looking for the man.
But he blends into the crowd too well. With his black hair and black suit, he could be anyone.
You still won’t be sure why you came back instead of leaving and will turn to head back into the lobby. But then you’ll see a flash of green, in the corner of your eye, and spin around. It’s just the light flashing on a wine bottle, but he will be the one pouring himself a glass, standing nonchalantly in front of the table. You will approach him nervously, not sure why you are doing it or what you’re going to say. All you will know is that you’re drawn to this guy, the odd way he moves and the green light at the nape of his neck.
He will turn to you and smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and it’s a smile that wouldn’t set any passer-by on edge. But you will have gone there to understand him, so you will notice the way his eyes don’t move, his eyeballs don’t flick from side to side or up and down, fixedly in the middle of his eye. It will unnerve you, but you won’t leave. You will realize that he’s waiting for you to speak, and will straighten your spine and clear your throat nervously.
“Hi!”
“Hi, how are you?” His voice is low and gravelly. You will search for any hints of impatience in his tone, anything that could give you a hint to what he’s thinking, but you’ll come back with nothing. His voice is so monotone, you will think jokingly, that it could’ve come from one of the square-shaped assistant bots that roam around your house.
It will be like a jolt down your spine, right then, when you realize that one of your Dad’s companies probably makes those robots.
“Hey, your collar is a little crooked,” you will say, hoping he’ll shift his shirt again so you can see the back of his neck. You will sidle next to him at the table, while he stares at the cheese, his eyes not moving, so that you’ll be able to see the back of his neck. He won’t adjust his collar, and instead will grab a piece of cheese and put it on a plate. You will notice that he will not have drunk even a sip from his wine glass “Why are you telling me this?” Again, the same robotic tone. You’ll be filled with the feeling that he doesn’t want you here, he wants you to go. Why else would he talk like this, with clipped, short sentences?
Your suspicion will be confirmed when he abruptly turns away and disappears into the throng of people. You’ll be left feeling bruised, but you’re not the type to give up, especially because you don’t care what this guy thinks of you, anyway.
You will push past people to tap on his shoulder. He will turn around, but he won’t show even a flicker of recognition.
“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” you will say, trying to sound light and airy.
“Hephaestus. Yours?”
You will give him your name absently, mind spinning. Hephaestus, you’ve heard that name before.
“That’s a beautiful name,” you will say, trying to keep the conversation going. You will be confused by the way he doesn’t seem to show any signs of emotion. No tensing of the back, no blush. Even his breathing, so steady.
“Thank you. I like your name as well.”
There will be silence, you panicking and trying frantically to find something to say.
“Will you be there for the wedding?” You will say, knowing that it will let you know if you will see him again. “They’re having it quickly, aren’t they. Engagement party today, wedding in only a month.”
“Yes. Yes, I am going.”
“Cool,” You will respond hesitantly, and this time you will be the one who turns and escapes into the crowd.
You will sigh heavily. But he isn’t what you will have come for. You square your shoulders and scan the room again, but this time for Ralph. You will see him, finally alone for what might be the first time all night. Your chance. You’ll start making your way through them, calling out to him.
“He-” but then you’ll stop, remembering your wine-stained clothes. You won’t even have anything prepared, nothing to say to a guy that preferred to pretend you were never there, as he rose to fame.
But it’s too late. His head will swivel towards you, and you’ll take a breath in anticipation.
His eyes will cloud over. “Who- are you?”
Back to the lobby, but you won’t stop this time. You will keep running, through the rotating doors, pounding the floor with your shoes.
***
The next time you will see Hephaestus will be at the wedding. The wedding will be easier to get into than the wedding, just waiting until a guard was sufficiently distracted before sneaking past. Hephaestus will be talking to Ralph, dressed in a suit identical to the one you last saw him in.
Your eyes will narrow, seeing the way Ralph seems to like him. Hephaestus is not who he says he is.
“Hey!” You will have practiced his name, wanting to get this right. “Hephaestus!”
He will turn to look at you and you’ll wave. As he lifts his hand to wave goodbye to Ralph, you’ll finally get a clear view of the green light. A small circle of light, at the base of his neck like it was before.
“Hey, what is that thing? That light?” You will say, not being able to stop yourself. You’ll immediately regret it when he stares at you blankly.
Hephaestus will hesitate, for too long. “What light?” He will say. You will decide to keep prompting him, leading him outside the party, hoping he’ll be more likely to tell you his secrets in private.
Because you will have figured him out, lying in bed.
He’s a robot. An Android.
You will remember the moment when you figured it out. But now you want to know why he’s here, what he’s doing.
As you push open the door, you will realize how much time has passed since the meeting started. The bitter wind will create goosebumps all over your skin and you’ll shiver. The sky will be a velvet sheet, dusted with glitter. You will notice how unfazed he will seem by the wind.
But of course, you will think. He’s a robot.
“So, what’s the green light?”
He will smile and say again, “what green light?”
You will be irritated. “The one at the base of your neck.”
His hands won’t move, and you’ll think that if he was normal, they would’ve moved at least a little.
You will take a step forward when he feigns ignorance. “You know what I’m talking about.”
You’re not sure if androids can understand tone, but he seems to get it.
“You’re a robot, aren’t you?” You will press, pushing him.
“No.”
You will look him square in those unfeeling eyes, which you will think of as cameras now, scanners, and smile a toothy smile, that borders on a sneer. “What do you want with my… Dad?”
You flinch at the way calling Ralph Eisenburg “Dad” feels like glue on your tongue, sticky and wrong.
He will show no emotion at this, and you will hate it. You will hate how you can never get a read on this guy, how easy it is for him to conceal his body language.
“I don’t want anything with your Dad. Why are you asking me these things?”
You will sigh, bitterly. You will realize that he’s not giving information voluntarily, so you will attempt to scare him. Let him know how much you’ve figured out, imply that you know more, even though you don’t.
“You want the ring.”
Everyone will have known about the wedding ring Ralph has planned out for Jenn, his fiancee. You will have seen it in real life. Huge, sparkling, with a thick band and chunky, rare gemstones sprinkled around. You will think it’s hideous.
It will be worth $100 million. That’s how you will know why Hephaestus is here. Why else would such a brilliantly designed, never-seen-before type android show up to one of the richest men on Earth’s party?
“How will you get it?” You will demand, stepping forward again.
“You know too much already.”
Your head will snap up to meet his eyes, wondering what that means, when your eye catches on a flash of silver in his hands. You will stumble back, and he’ll punch you, right in the throat. But punches don’t draw blood, do they? A dull ache. Pain. Pain. Pain. It will be hot, like fire, and you’ll collapse on the ground, your mouth filling with blood. It will gush out of you, hot, as you try to scream on the sidewalk, making a guttural noise. You will see him escaping behind the corner of the building just as the first security guard hears your noises and runs over, gun at the ready. You won’t be able to hear him, your vision will get darker, and everything will fade to black.
That’s how you will die.
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135 comments
bonjour, my friend!
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i love your profile pic, quite a lot :] I missed you <3
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haha, me too ;) I missed you too!
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are you planning on being active again? or just a quick check in?
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yep, I do plan on being active again. I've lost the habit of writing://
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ive barely been on here and i've also stopped writing....connection? maybe. hmm, maybe I should be more active :] I'm super excited that you're back though lmk if you want music recommendations :D
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... ... ... DREAM SMP??!!! RANBOO??!!! YAS
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Saph I didn't think you could be more perfect and then you tell me this
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My exact reaction when I saw your pfp. R A N B O O
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hey girl, hope you're safe and sound!
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hey Ren, I missed you! I hope you're doing well. Are you thinking of returning to reedsy? I've barely been on here recently, almost like I've left at this point (but of course, i haven't)
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heyyyy, I missed you too :-(( yes, I am :'D no, I don't think I want to return as yet, but I'll try to check up on you guys often. oh. everything good, right?
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Hiya!
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Hey Aerin!
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Hewwo Wassup?
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Not much, haven't been on reedsy much. but that wasn't really intentional, just busy haha 😅
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Hehe, cool, same 😅 (buuuut however busy I am I’m still on Reedsy like ten hours a day lol) Did you do anything fun over spring break? (If you even HAD spring break last week)
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Hehe, cool, same 😅 (buuuut however busy I am I’m still on Reedsy like ten hours a day lol) Did you do anything fun over spring break? (If you even HAD spring break last week)
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Hey
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:DD
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❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME A...
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Hey so how are you doing? It's still been a little while, sorry for not talking with you a lot recently, I've been doing other stuff.
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Oooh! I like how you used future tense to write this story! I know some people have already said this, but there were some parts that felt like the future tense was forced or kind of rigid. The overall idea for this story was great though, very dramatic and full of suspense! I also love the title ;)
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I'm sorry it took me a little while to get here, but now that I am, WOW. Great job on this, Amaya. My only piece of advice would be that the future tense is a little forced, and there is a lot of detail in some sentences that are lengthy and boring to read. Sometimes I felt the future tense was missing or you slipped up on a second person/first person/third person narrative, but that's okay. Also, break up the paragraphs. Some are really long ;) Anyways, the ending tied together perfectly with the rest of the story. Keep it up! 😊
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Hiya!!! Okay so, this story, was ORWNGWOGIWRIUKHGWIHRUGHROU SO GOOD. It seemed like a new genre, and I've never read anything like it before, but thank you for introducing me to it! You asked for critique, I shall give you critique: About the future tense thing, it was slightly confusing at the start, but after you went deeper into the story, I think I kinda got used to it and it was pretty enjoyable to read. But once again, slightly confusing XD It worked with the story and all, but the "you will"s make it feel like I'm at those ph...
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Thank you Saph! Yeah, future tense was weird/hard, I'm not sure how I feel about it. THANK YOU :)
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Mhm, I get it. You're pretty good at it though!!!! NO PROBLEM!!!!
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It's a very good story, the only thing I can think of for "criticism" is that the "I will" perspective is very unusual. I don't see it used very often so I doubt a lot of people will be used to it. I loved the way you used it though. It's a lot better than mine, I procrastinated and ended up writing more than half of it at 2 in the morning. The way you write really draws people into the story. I'm invested and now I wanna read more >:(
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Definitely, future tense is a little weird. Aw, thank you! I can definitely relate to the procrastination, I submitted this an hour before it was due :) Thank you!
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yergujrkgj. hfbjergujke. hjerbgierhgkj. YES YES YES THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVED IT i'm kind of tired rn so it was a bit hard for me to get into it at the beginning and maybe i just read like a reader instead of a writer since i don't really have any critiques for you (god knows if you'd even want any, coming from me) but YES. YES. 10/10
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AW THANK YOU!
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"All of it screams wealth. "--> All of it WILL scream wealth. "You don’t fit in with these types of people" You WILL NOT fit in... "the tears starting to dry on your face as you shake your head." the tears WILL start to dry.. "Everyone knows" Everyone will have known. "It's worth" It will be worth The one piece of advice Ru gave me for future tense stories is to remain in future tense for EVERYTHING. For other critiques, in the end, you use 'hot like fire' which is a little common. Maybe try something different? Hot like coal, hot like er t...
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thank you! god, future tense is HARD i knew i was going to make many mistakes like this 😂 thanks for correcting! oh thank you! yeah, that makes sense, fire is a bit cliche Haha the title is basically because Hephaestus is the greek god of technology. i really don't think many people would get that, do you think i should change it to something like, Hephaestus, God of Technology? Or if you have other suggestions PLEASE let me know haha :) Thank you! And thank you so much for the critique.
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For sure, I'm writing one for this week and I'm like 'where do i even start'. :D Ohhhh that makes sense I'm so dumb. If you want, here are some: Green Light How You're Killed Ring Rich My pleasure! Happy to help!
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definitely. and warning, looking up tips doesn't really help either (yes, I was that desperate) :) no you're not haha, i don't think anybody will know that i like those! i really like green light...
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Also another critique I forgot: "All of it will scream wealth. " I'd put this on a new line for power.
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Heyyy
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Lets spreaddddddd the cheer!!! spam this to everyone!: ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE A GREAT AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
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Wow. Okay, WOW. Was not expecting that ending!!!!!! Okay, well, geez, firstly, you’re improving as a writer so much!!! Each story is better than the last. “ Hephaestus”...as soon as I heard that name, I totally got Greek god vibes, haha. Also, the way you wrote this—2nd person AND future tense—is bizarrely, well, BIZZARE. Disverse. And cool, really cool. The 2nd-to-last paragraph also really jumps out at me, because it’s the perfect blend of action, imagery, and emotion. In conclusion: holy heck this was awesome!
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ah thank you Aerin!
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THIS IS AMAZING!!! I also absolutely despise future tense, but you were right it did fit!!! I would recommend giving heavier sections of description and certainly some more awkward situations and dialogue, because we can then see more of her as a character. Other than that THANKS FOR TELLING ME!!!!
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Thanks Luke! Okay, thanks! I do agree that the scenes might not have been set super well. Thanks for the advice! Im so glad you read!
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No problem!!! XD
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