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Funny Friendship


"But the shop over there sells it for $5! You want me to shop there, Doug?"

"No Ma'am,"Β 

"That's what I thought, don't you play with me young man,"


The hustle and bustle of the town's market is the heart of the city. Elizabeth continues to walk toward the bakery, hoping to get cupcakes.


Berlinda? Is that you?" Elizabeth asks, peering at an old lady, whom she thought was her pig-tailed friend from years ago.

"Elizabeth? Oh dear lord, you gave me such a fright! Oh dear, you really shouldn't do my poor heart like that," She said, bewildered.

"Oh well I'm deeply sorry about that, darling. Would you want to come over to my house on 'Chewsday' for a cuppa joe?" She asks, hoping to catch up on some of the gossip.

"Oh, my seas and stars," Ber gave her a hug.

"Oh, sure,"

"Mind my walking stick!"Β 

"Oh- sorry,"

"Oh, it's fine dearie!"


Β Being a grandma with a dead kid, and a 16 year old granddaughter, with only wool as your life-long companion is hard work.Β 


"Very well…Beth. Although I don't mean to impose myself." She said fluttery.


"Liza, Elizabeth, thank you. Oh nooo! Sweetie, it's completely fine, I would love to have you there!" Judging by her smile, she'd say yes.


"Ah, Elizabeth, dear, you must pardon my rusty memory, it loves playing tricks on me. And, weren't you just in NYC? Very well then!" She says waddling off.


"Ah, yes I was, I just shifted here last month, trying to get Nyx used to 'home' after my daughter...reached the gods. Anyways, sure, sweetie, see you there!" Elizabeth calls back, twaddling home.Β 


***


Elizabeth wakes up to a "Yoo-Hoo!" Which is quite unexpected coming from her phone-addicted 16 year old, she usually hates such words.


"Morning Elizabeth!" She hears Ber's voice.


"Oh sh- Oh, I should mind my language!" Liza huffs.


"Oh dear Lord! I didn't see the time! Oh no- over-sleeping at such an age! Oh gosh, I smell horrible! I guess I'd have to do with air freshener as perfume, and spray my hair wet, Oh my clothes!" Elizabeth mutters.


"Oh, haha! I sure am a little dilly-dally today, I'm an old woman for heaven's sake! I don't need to look good, a flowery nightgown shall do!" She says, with a relieving sigh.


She waddles to the door.


"Oh- Helloo darling! How's it going?"


"Hello, my dear Elizabeth, it is absolutely wonderful to see you again!" Berlinda comes in, hugging Elizabeth and inviting herself inside.Β 


"You may co- oh okay, um- I guess you let yourself in,"

"So, sweetie, how's it going? Y'know, being an old lady, alone in her house with wool and all that?" Elizabeth smirked, hoping to create some drama. Which looked quite funny as her wrinkles scrunched to a smirk.

"Ah, it's going along very wonderfully, I'm rather glad I don't have any... fussy kids falling all over me." Ber says with a huff.

"Although I suppose you must...like it. But I would think it would be rather inconvenient." She said, looking pointedly at the mess on the floor.


"Oh but darling, my child is dead and I have her 16 year old living with me, so that's a quite hurtful subject," Elizabeth said, sniffling.Β 


"Old lady! I invite you over to my house for a nice cuppa tea, but you insult my household? While sitting on my couch? That is very rude of you! You must apologize immediately! I better expect some handmade muffins. There's the door." Elizabeth huffs, hurt.

"As if I didn't know! I was talking about your...grandchild only, my dear. One must be quite...dim-witted, pardon me for that word, but it seems the only one which is fit for use at the moment, to understand that I meant the same." Ber said, her head high.


"And who are you calling old?! Last time I checked, you were older than me by a year! This is an affront! How dare you, why if my husband was alive...I will hear no more of your chatter, I must, at once, go. This is an atrocity. The nerve!" Ber mutters to herself, marching out.


"Dear Lord!Β  Insulting me in my own house! Darling, if you were then you wouldn't have looked so shocked when I mentioned that! And at least I don't need a walking stick! And last time I checked, it's only a month. And how would you know that? Are you stalking me?!" Elizabeth squealed.Β 


"Well, it seems your memory bade you goodbye a long time ago, you forgot that we were classmates. How else would we know each other? Stalking," Ber said.

"Stalking!"

"You offend me Elizabeth, to think we have been friends for so long and you insult me like this! An atrocity! I will hear no more of this!" She gasped, and walked out the door.


"What is going on?!" Nyx matched down, taking her headphones off.

"Oh, nothing darling. Oh dear! Are you listening to Billie Eillish again?" Elizabeth yelled.Β 

"N-no," Nyx said, meekly.

"DID YOU LISTEN TO THE WHOLE ALBUM WITHOUT ME?! YOUNG LADY! How dare you?! I introduced you to her! And you- you went around my back and betrayed me?! You. Are. Grounded. So now you will also suffer song puns." She announced.

"Haha nope-- no song puns,"

"You are such a bad guy, honestly! I hope you get a bellyache!" She said, satisfied.

"No-" Nyx said, gagging.

Β 


"Yoo-hoo? Oh dear Elizabeth, you would come for dinner tomorrow evening won't you? I would be glad to see you there...besides, I need gossip," Ber sniffles.

"Hash-the-tag I Feel You Darling! Of course! Why not! I've heard you have a grandson?"


"Ah, yes, my daughter had a boy before she left us,"She said, blowing fiercely into herΒ  handkerchief.Β  "To join the angels up there."


"He is a dear boy, sixteen, you must meet him when you come! Oh, why not bring your granddaughter? I'm sure they'll get along excellently!"


"Oh, sure! Nyx would love to come! Wouldn't you, Nyx?"


"What? Where? I'm not going to meet some nerdy chess-playing guy next door," Nyx said, putting her headphones back on, climbing upstairs again.


"Haha, she'd love to come," Elizabeth said, grinning furiously at Nyx.


"Love to see you there! Toodles!"

"Bye!"Β 


"God, that woman is a rollercoaster." Elizabeth sighed.

"Aren't they all?" Nyx remarked.


***


"Nyx! You are not wearing that hideous green top! It looks atrocious with these sneakers! Wear your blue one," Elizabeth said.

"Ooh, I didn't know you had fashion sense, Gran!" Nyx said.

"Oh- how many times have I told you not to call me that! Call me Elizabeth! Gran makes me feel old." She said blushing.

"But you are old. And, darling, you brought this on you. CALL ME WHEN YOU WANT, CALL ME WHEN YOU NEED, CALL ME IN THE MORNIN' I'LL BE ON MY WAY!" Nyx yelled, dancing.

"Seriously. You've clearly gotten your dad's sense of humour; cringey, overused, and centuries old." Elizabeth remarked.



"Ahh, much better, dear. Oh you look so much like your mother! Oh- you look so beautiful,Β  oh, you might even charm Ber's grandson, y'know!" Elizabeth muttered.

"Nona- I just put on another top, and some eyeshadow, and ew." Nyx muttered.

"Oh I know, but Grannies are known for exaggerating, darling," She said as Nyx huffed.


"Aww, you look so ado- weird." Nyz remarked.

"Wha-? I thought you were going to say adorable!" Elizabeth said, startled.

"Oh I know, but granddaughters are known for telling the truth!" Nyx sighed.


"Oh, whatever!" Elizabeth huffed.

"We're late." Nyx sighed.Β 


"Oh well, let's go! Lock the doors, windows, and don't forget the keys!" Elizabeth recited.


Eliza and Nyx walk past a few houses, and then see Ber waving at them.



"Oh, evening Liza!" Ber squeals and hugs her enthusiastically.

"This must be Nyx! Oh, last time I saw you, you were this small," Ber said, lowering her hand to her waist.Β 

"Oh, how you've grown! Anyway, Ace is somewhere around here, let me call him."

"Oh- um, yeah, sure." Nyx sighs.

"Ace dear! A-a-ace!"

"Yes Nona?

"Oh, dear lord! Oh- Ace! Sweet lord, you've grown so much! I used to send you to school, when Ber used to babysit- oh, the days!" Eliza sighed.


"Hey." Nyx mumbled, as the grandmothers waddled off.

"Hey, sorry for my Nona, she is the classic 90 year old, smoke-puffing, and flowery-dress grandma trope." Ace sighed,Β  flicking his brown hair back.

"I could say the same for mine," Nyx sighed.


"Ooh- they're talking!! Oh, are they following each other on Kilogram?" Ber whispers to Liza.

"Ber! You old human, it's Instant-gram. And, no, I paid a kid to let me know, and they don't even know each other till now," Liza sighed.Β 


"Ya know we can hear you!" Nyx yelled from the other side of the room.

"Yup," Ace sighed.


"Oh- sorry darlings, we'll shut up now," Ber said.

"Hey- do you know the Grenade?" Liza asked.

"It's the Renegade you old cow! And nope, I don't. My hip replacement just happened last week, and I can't even boogie!" Ber said, annoyed.

"Oh my such an inconvenience,"Β 


***


"Uh, hey? How, uh, are you doing?" Ace mumbled.

"Oh, as well as you could be with dead parents and a grandmother who refuses to talk about them," Nyx shrugs and laughs.

"I know!" Ace exclaimed.Β 

"Ace, Nyx, come sit, we've served dinner! And Ace, you'll be doing the dishes!" Ber yelled in her southern accent.Β 

"Seriously?"

"I'm as serious as my aunt's grave, young man!"

"Haha, don't worry, I'll help." Nyx chuckled.

"You better! These dishes and forks are gon' have your saliva on 'em!" Liza yelled.

"Yup. That's my 90 year old grandma."Β 


"Hey- uh- Nyx?"Β 

"Yeah?"

"Would you wanna come over tomorrow?" Ace asked, tearing a hand through his brown hair.Β 

"Oh- uhm- sure, why not? Anyways, I needed a friend," Nyx smiled, her brown eyes twinkling into his gray ones.

"Sure,"


"Get your behinds here before I get there!" Ber yelled.


***

July 11, 2021 15:01

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40 comments

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 'Kilogram' oml I'm laughing so hard XD waaaaaaaaait, is this Nyx the same one from the collab with Saph? hMmMmMmM~ CHERREMARKABLE πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’ job!!! ~ Amethyst

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XDDDDD some may be taken from my grandmother XDDD Eheheheh nah I just liked the namee XD TYSMMM AMEEEEE

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XDDDDD your grandmother is so funny lol XDD ah okay XD np!!!

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George Davis
14:10 Jul 22, 2021

Good story, Sia.

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Dhwani Jain
04:04 Jul 19, 2021

Hey Sia! Nice, hilarious story. I really liked the grandmas. Of course, such a great piece of work requires a SECOND PART with the story of Ace and Nyx being continued....

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Hey Dhwani! Haha, thanks! Ooh, haha I do have one, waiting for the correct prompt ;)

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Dhwani Jain
04:14 Jul 19, 2021

Nice. I didn't know I was psychic! Cool!

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Dhwani Jain
04:16 Jul 19, 2021

Yeah

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OMG THIS WAS HILARIOUS- WE DO LOVE OUR HILARIOUS GRANNIES 😏 Only one thing I noticed: Berlinda? Is that you?" Elizabeth asks, peering at an old lady, whom she thought was her pig-tailed friend from years ago. There's no quotation mark at the beginning, might wanna fix that! Other then that, great job!

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GOSH, THANK YOU MMMHMM YUP ohhh, yeahhh I would edit that but its approved:/ Well, thanks again!! :D

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WELCOME YESS That's fine lol And np! :D

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LOL! Loved this story so much and it was SO FUNNY!! Also I love the title, made me laugh. Very enjoyable to read. I have no critique, it was so good.

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Hey! Thabks so much!! Haha, thanks again. Really appreciate your comment :))

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interesting one XDD Twas funny, lighthearted, and enjoyable! Like really enjoyable! as for critique.... Dialogue. So, as others have stated, it needs a bit of tweaking. It's a bit hard to tell where it takes place at the beginning. I once again noticed that you changed tenses... like at the beginning it's this: 'Elizabeth asks, peering at an old lady, whom she thought was her pig-tailed friend from years ago.' 'asks' 'thought' 'was' but then it changes to 'She said, bewildered.' 'bewildered' and then again to 'She asks, ho...

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Heyloo! Thanks for the comment, first if all. Second, yeahhh Tith also mentioned, that and this does require some editing, tha is so mich Wolfe I'll give it a read over <333

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You’re very welcome ;) β€˜Course , tis your story after all :)))

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22:45 Jul 11, 2021

Hey Sia! How are you doing; I've been inactive for a while now. Nice to see you still posting amazing, funny stories! This story had me from the title, and it was amazing! I know in your bio you requested for critique, but as I am terrible at offering critique, feel free to ignore this suggestion. I loved all the puns, banter, and basically, all the plot-building focused on dialogue. Still, I think there should be a few more breaks between the dialogue, mostly during the beginning when people are just beginning to ease into the mood of t...

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Hey!! Thanks for the comment, first if all. Second, ik, I've been missing you :) Oh nooo, its totally fine you really dont have to Ooh, yeah? Thanks so mich for that, il def give it a read over, again, thanks so much!! <3

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Hey, hey, hey girl! Your name reminds me of the famous singer Sia btw:) ANYWAYS this story was SO funny. I totally ship Nyx and Ace!! The grandmother's dialogue was very comical and They have some MOJOR mood swings. The puns were very snazzy and the dialogue was purposeful. If you want a critique I suggest you establish a setting at the begging of the story b/c I honestly didn't know where the first part was taking place. The dialogue just, you know happened. I guess you could hint where they are through tweaking the dialogue a bit(maybe...

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Hey! thanks! Lol, ikrr Tha is so much, I worked hard on that part :)) Oh, yeah, I didn't think about that lol, tysm I'll edit some things there :) Awww, thanks so much Ruth, ik, even I love such names :) <3

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Always a pleasure!

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20:46 Jul 11, 2021

1. the puns were amazing 2. the banter was hilarious 3. I love all the 2020/2021 references. because in the future, our stuff is gonna be consiered cringey and old

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1 thank you my lord 2 inspired by my grandma 3 thanks! Unfortunately, yup lol

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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I loved this story! I loved the billie eillish puns too! I honestly dont have any critique XD

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HAHAHAHAHA gosh, tha is so much lol <3

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Philia S.
15:41 Jul 11, 2021

OMIGOSH, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, OH LORD, M WHEEZING, AHAHAHAHAHAHA, THIS IS TOO FUNNY I mean seriously wow, I loved this! Awesome story! *which is most probably due to the fact that I contributed a lot to it* XD Seriously though, you did it wonderfully! Will there be a second part?

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XD HAHAHAHHAHA REA.LY???? I WAS WORRIED IT WOULDNT BE LOL thanks os much!!! Yussssss I love emmmmm ;) They so sassy πŸ‘Œ

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Shoutout to Phila, she helped a lot, and basically wrote many of Ber's lines! Ty Philaaa!!

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