86 comments

Christmas Drama Sad

Dead.


I miss you.


You are on my mind but I don't know how to reach you, how to clear away the fog that envelops me.


I miss your smile.


Your touch.


Your gentle strength.


I miss you.


I'm overwhelmed by my grief for you and my rage for losing you.


I should be at work but I'm not, staring into a blank screen, grasping for something to share.


I miss you.


As I sit here, listening to your favorite song, I keep thinking that it is about you.


You know that you would say I'm making it all up.


That I'm not even close to understanding what loss is.


You would tell me that I was "moving too fast," and that I was completely delusional.


But I am moving fast, don't you see?


I'm not there yet.


I don't know what that feels like.


I don't know what it means to walk away from the life we had together and I don't even know what that life is.


It's strange to realize that your body no longer belongs to you but I find myself counting the days, trying to figure out how many there are.


When it's murder.Β 


You wouldn't kill yourself, Lily. You were the sun. The sun never dies. It was murder.Β 


Lily. You would never.


Never.



I just don't want you to think that.Β It was in November, four months ago.


I was in tears when I saw your house on the horizon, headlights bouncing over the gravel driveway.


There were clouds but it was so bright I could barely make out the garage, the tires kicking up gravel and dust, hitting the dirt just beyond.


It was on a cul - de - de-sac in a neighborhood in Fort Collins and your dad was sniffling as he sat in the car.


I was on the porch, unable to bear another moment of silence.


I didn't know how to talk to anyone anymore, unable to wrap my head around the fact that you weren't here.


You were always such a sun in my life, spring, a lifeline.


You were a friend, a companion.


I never needed to be alone.


It was in December, a few weeks ago.


We went to a showing of A Christmas Story at the theater in the middle of the woods and I thought you were going to put your arms around me and hold me close.


You didn't, but you wanted to so badly.


I'm sorry, I couldn't.Β 


I'm sorry, I couldn't see the signs.Β 


I'm sorry, I couldn't see the signs that someone was hurting you.Β 


But I'm going to find that someone.Β I miss you, Lil.


I think about you all the time.


You haven been on my mind since we were together, you and me.



The only reason that song came on the radio was because it was Christmas and Christmas was my favorite time of year because that was when you and I were together, closer than ever.


What am I supposed to do without you?


Where do I go from here?


It's hard to stay in today when you were the sun.Β You were the star and you didn't even know it.


You didn't have to.


I could have asked you to, I could have tried harder, I could have been better.


I'm sorry, I'm sorry.


I'm sorry I didn't stop you, I'm sorry I didn't love you enough.


I'm sorry you weren't there for me.


I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.


I didn't want you to feel like you weren't in control of anything.


I didn't want you to have to feel like you were on the bottom of my world.


Lily.


You were the star.


You were the one that brought me light and warmth and I wish that I could have given that when you were hurt.



Charles. One name.Β 


That's all I've got. One name, to figuring out who made you do it.


Smeared in your blood. Charles.Β 



Who is he, Lily? Who is he?Β 


Did he kill you?Β 


ANSWER ME, LILY!! I yelled, tearing the picture of us together.Β 


See? Sometimes I forget you're dead. It's like a whirlpool.


Drowning.


Drowning.


Dead


I shuddered.


"I'm sorry, my dear, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I tore my hand through my hear, my tears falling down and down.Β 


My life, Lily. I'm going to find out, okay?


I'm going to find out, Lily.


It's gonna be okay.


The bell rings. Must be the food guy.Β 


He got the cigarettes.Β 


I know, I know, I shouldn't be smoking. But I have to find out.


Charles.Β 


I'm going to find out, my dear.



June 02, 2021 06:48

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86 comments

Your Queen is back!! Notessss β–ͺ︎really hard to write so it might be trash. β–ͺ︎probably not good lol β–ͺ︎I used a word generator to get started, so that helpss (to all block warriors) Nice, byeeeee have a good day!!

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siaaaaaaaaaaa heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i love ur painting and hope ur doing well! it feels like we havent talked in 4everrrrrrr

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OHMIFREAKING GOD THE KWEEN IS BACKK tysmm <33 lol I'm not :') Ifeakingknowright. SUP

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AHAHAHA JUST FOR YOUUUUUUUU <333 awww:( anything u wanna talk abt?

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BDG7ECGUFCEBUGWD NO INS HAS DONE ANYTHING SO SWEEET FOR MEEEEEEE *no, really no one* <333333 okay! I have two best friends both of 4 years, one doesn't live here, but she comes to visit twice a week. The other one? She betrayed me, and backstabbed me, and left me alone tomplay with her new friends.. And is now saying that "she needs a break" from me, when I tried to be friends again. I'm a social thing. I just have 1-2 bffs. She has even been extremely toxic to me when I aas a kid- around 3rd grade, her mother made me cry so much I was shaki...

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YOU DESERVE IT GIRLLLL YOU ARE AMAZINGGGGG omg Sia, that's terrible. I hate that girl, and her mother>:( Have you dropped her yet? i bet it'd be hard to do that with a friend that youve had for so long, but it doesnt sound like anything good is coming out of ur friendship:( I'm rly sry ur "friend" is acting that way>:(

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GTT4GT4YHH64HHBGJ YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOO haha. I've been trying too. Aww thanks <333333 ik. :( Thanks so much Kween

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Lolll tyyyyy your the first person to say that :')

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Philia S.
15:51 Jun 14, 2021

Doc? Or no?

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Philia S.
16:47 Jun 14, 2021

Okay! I'm there!

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Hey- uh, gtg sleep rn. I have a big test tmrw. How about you write some and I write a little when I'm free? Thank youuu! I'm honoured to write with such a wonderful writer like you.

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Philia S.
17:31 Jun 14, 2021

I see...oh, good luck! I also have school tomorrow, so me too, lets write tomorrow I guess then! Woah, woah, I'm not there yet, rather I should be saying that! I'm really glad we're getting to do this together!!

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Thanks! Sure! You can let me know when you're free! :) Ohh, okay! I know, me too! :)

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Omg this is so...*waves hands dramatically* BEAUTIFUL! You described the grief of the character towards Lily really well and her determination to find Charles or sumthin’ too. I love these lines: β€œ You wouldn't kill yourself, Lily. You were the sun. The sun never dies. ” Awesome job sis <3

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WHAT IS WRING WITH MAH REPLIESSS i replied to this like 3 days ago- bruh. Anyway. THANK YOUUUUU I STILL TH8NK ITS TRASH THO LOL No, really. Tysmmmm <33 whens a new story coming?

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NPPPPPPPPP <333 Ugh idkkk I’m slowly easing back into writing more with summer coming (I ACTUALLY WROTE SOME COLOR QUEST 2 YESTERDAY AHHH BABY STEPS YUSS) and I’ve already started one story and ditched it and have an idea for another but idk BUT HOPEFULLY NEXT WEEK LOLZ THANJS

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<33 OOOOH YAYYYYYYY YASSSSS uniwcjidwcnu8e2ncu9hecc ikr I hate block XD OKIEE WELCOMEEE

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UGH THANKSSSS MISS SUPPORTIVE SIS <333 ndkwninqiqkskw omg yus YEEEEEEEEET! <33

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XD SUREEEE ANYTIMEEE <33 burdbyie2c78gce278he2x yes. XDD MEEP- <3

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Keya M.
14:42 Jun 08, 2021

Oooh. Interesting. My only recommendation is to be careful with word choices. The constant repetition of "you" gets a little redundant after a while. Besides that good job! Is there a sequel to come?

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Thanks! It's actually a little on purpose, to show the grief of the character towards her :)) Thabks!! Maybe, maybe not ;)

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Yessssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love this story. Favourite line: You wouldn't kill yourself, Lily. You were the sun. The sun never dies. It was murder. Keep writing girl!

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Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!! le shanks :) Aww, thank youuuuuu You tooooooo <33

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22:35 Jun 07, 2021

Oh my gosh this is beautiful! I love it so much! Glad you could get something out. I missed you!

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this was not bad ahem don't call it that :') the emotion in this just leaped at me through the screen - great job! the ending too was so perfect and sweet <333 LEMONICE πŸ‹πŸ‹πŸ‹ job!!! ;) ~ Amethyst

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:') XD your way of giving feedback- XD <33 :0 thats is a bulliful pun, milady. :D

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:) ;) <33 shanksss~ getting better at coming up with ones :))

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:DDD do you like the new prompts???

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Hey Sia! I just wanted to say this piece was... absolutely fab! The emotion and feelings of your character flowed beautifully and showed the mindset and picture of all that was going on within you character and Charles seemed to really care for Lily! This was definitely my fave part: You wouldn't kill yourself, Lily. You were the sun. The sun never dies. It was murder. It sounded graceful and majestic. You really overcame writer's block with this story and I'm loving it! Happy Writing! SS

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Hey!! Thanks o ,uh for the feedback, SS!! Aww, thank youuuu. :DDD Thanks a lot!!

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16:11 Jun 02, 2021

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh really beautiful sia <333

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Thanksssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss so much saphiee

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16:56 Jun 03, 2021

ofccccccccc

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Tyyyyy Heed help on reedsy casttttt block not fully goneee

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16:36 Jun 04, 2021

odjbsoifjbwroijgwiorjgoi ok

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:ooooooooooooooooooooo this was very very very VERY good!!!!!!!!!! I like how you kinda expressed his/her grief and sadness and kinda revenge to avenge his/her friend. Very very interesting and coolio story!. L.W.

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;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Thanks a lot, L :DDD

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This was an easy read! I love me an easy read! You portrayed emotion adequately and the pace was nice. I liked how you made the whole story a monologue and never touched the outside world. I honestly enjoyed this, which is why I'm not going to point out the few typos. Amazing job! Excellent comeback Queen. 'Lily' was simply beautiful. Thank you for blessing me with your work. sincerely, Ruthy_May

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Thanks!! I always like your comments, :)) I like how you give exclusive and personal feedback, :)) Thanks so much!! Aww, thanks a lot, sis. *gasps* such a sweet comment. <333 BTW, I think you should try Inkjet. Thats the word generator I used for the beginning ;)

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I definitely will! Always a pleasure. Ruthy_May

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I think I'm writing a story this week! Thanks so much!

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Philia S.
12:10 Jun 02, 2021

Hey Sia!!! 1) :0 2) The awesome-est retort to writer's block I have ever seen. Wow, this piece, it was beautiful!! 3) AMAZING STORY!!! I loved the way you portrayed the MC's grief. And it was like I was there, watching her/him, and sometimes I felt I manifested in him/her. And like her mourning, it was so accurate, I mean, the guilt and sorrow you feel when a loved one dies. Great job! 4) One suggestion----------> "I'm sorry, my dear, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I tore my hand through my hear, my tears falling down and down. Uhm, did yo...

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HEYLOOOOO I L9VE PARAGRAPH COMMENTSSS LOl - ikr :0000000 - Shanksssssssss *blushes* - THANK YOUUUU I actually used the word generator to get me started, and it worked pretty well!! Thank you!!! - oooh, yup, lol ill fix dat :PP - Shanksss sis!!

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Philia S.
05:12 Jun 04, 2021

Me too!!! Word generator or not; your story; twas WUNDERBAR!!! New story out!(If you want to read)

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YAYY *blushes and goes into volcano blush mode* THANK YOU SO M8CH I DONT DESERVE IT DHDHGDHSHS How is that a question? Sure! :D

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Philia S.
09:17 Jun 04, 2021

But you do! And what more, you deserve more than this!! (I tell you, one of these days I won't even be surprised to see you as a best-selling author! DON'T FORGET US :p) :DDDD

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Yall making ne tear up now- <33 I'm pretty sure you'll already be up there before me! ;)

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