Shadows

Submitted into Contest #264 in response to: End your story with someone saying “I do.”... view prompt

46 comments

Coming of Age Fantasy


“Sasha!” mom hollers from the bottom of the stairs. If she doesn’t answer, mom will call for one of the boys. “SASHA!” or she won’t.


Reluctantly, twelve-year-old Sasha starts to lower ‘Weird Girl’ by Myranda Marie, the book about an awkward girl who, together with her big ass dog, becomes part of a teenage werewolf pack. And discovers she has the special power of ‘seeing’.

Just one more page.


“SASHA! Now!”


“Coming!” She runs down the stairs. Hopefully, this won’t take long so she can go back up in a second and finish the chapter. Surely Luca will get out of trouble, but …


“What?” She asks as she bursts into the kitchen.


“We’re out of coffee. Run to the store and get a bag. Hurry, before the store closes.” Mom shoves her coin purse at Sasha. “Go, go!” and turns back to the stove.


“But it’s almost dark!” she whines.


“The dark won’t bite you.”


Slinging a tote over her shoulder, mumbling under her breath, what does she know, Sasha grabs her bike and rides away.


There is no such thing as a quick trip to the store. The lady behind the counter loves to talk. No matter how many people are waiting, Mrs. Pierson has to hear every last detail of Mr. Lame’s gall bladder attack, or Aunt Minnie’s hernia, or Suzie’s report card, or …


It's no different today. Mr. Widget tells her everything anyone would ever want to know about how to get a patent on a gadget he thinks will save the world.


Sasha hops from one foot to the other. Comeoncomeoncomeon. But nobody pays her any mind and Mrs. Chatter who is ahead of her is not known for her shyness. There is no cutting in line, no sweetly asking if she can go ahead. She’ll just get raised eyebrows, and her mother will be politely scolded for not teaching Sasha better manners.


So, she tunes out the gossip and tries to figure out how Luca could get himself out of the jam he’s in, or would the rest of the wolf pack come and help him? That would be so cool. To have such a tight-knit group of friends that they’d drop everything to help. She can’t imagine having friends, or even brothers like that. People who’d seriously listen to her ideas. Oh, the things she could do, if …


Mrs. Chatter unloads her basket, one item at a time while she tells Mrs. Pierson in excruciating detail how her bowel movements have wreaked havoc with her peace of mind and confidence. And that she has tried this product and that food item, followed, in living color, by what the results were.


Oh, gag! Really? Shouldn’t that be between her and her doctor?


Mrs. Pierson doesn’t seem to think so, she’s all ears and full of sympathy, even offers a handful of homemade remedies. The two women walk back to the home remedy aisle and discuss the benefits and side effects of each product.


Mrs. Chatter has left the store, after lingering with her hand on the doorknob, repeating Mrs. Pierson’s all-time best recipes. Finally, it’s Sasha’s turn.


“Will that be all, dear?


‘Yes, Ma’am.”


“And how are you doing in school, child?”


“Fine.”


“Fine, what?” Mrs. Pierson raises one eyebrow and holds the package of coffee hostage till Sasha answers.


“Fine, Mrs. Pierson, thank you for asking.” Sasha only has eyes for the bag of coffee beans and holds her hand out to Mrs. Pierson.


“May I have the coffee please. My mum’s waiting for it.”


“How’s your mother?”


“She’s fine but will be fit to be tied if she doesn’t get her coffee beans soon, thank you, Mrs. Pierson.”


“Well!” Mrs. Pierson exclaims. “I never ...” And hands the bag of beans to Sasha.


“Yes, ma’am. Have a good evening. Thank you.” The shop door closes behind her with a ring of the bell and her heartfelt sigh.


Trembling, knowing she may face unspeakable truths, she climbs on her bike again.

Is she too late? Is it that time, already?


The time when shadows pull away from their owners. Time when nightmares step out for some fresh air and a smoke. When the monsters slip out from under the beds and come out to play. When unnamed forces gather for a chat.


She is cutting it close. She must hurry, she simply has to be off the street, or she could be lost forever. Caught in a web spun by trolls and gremlins, captured by a stray warlock’s spell. Turned by a werewolf or taken by a …


She gasps.


What is that sound? The rustling in those bushes. Mr. Haas lives there. He keeps bees, he’s always so careful but what if they have stung him and …


She whimpers


Is someone whispering? Who or what can be out there? Why did mom have to send her out just before dusk. Couldn’t the errand have waited till tomorrow? Couldn’t she have thought of it earlier?


There!


She swears she saw movement there behind those trees. Are the shadows out on their own yet? No, hers is still with her, but fading rapidly.


A shiver runs down her back.


Something cold touches her just now. Is that the gremlin web?

Anxiety and panic battle for first place.


Hurry! Go home. Now!


Oh, shit! Zombies!


The two pale shapes in the small car behind her. They are pointing at her! Smiling malevolently. No! They are following her, aren’t they?


Hurry! Pedal harder! Go faster! Don’t let them catch you. Are they still there?


Hair streaming behind her, legs pumping as fast as she can, standing on the pedals, leaning over the handlebars, flying around the corner, one, two, three houses, she streaks into the driveway, throws the bike against the house, runs around the garage to the kitchen door.


“Someone is following me!” Panic, the obvious winner, is evident in her voice as she puts the package of coffee on the counter and bends over to catch her breath.


“Nonsense.” Her mother declares at the same time that the doorbell rings.


Sasha hurries up the stairs, fully prepared to hide in her room when she hears her mother exclaim with delight.


“Sasha, come and say hello.” 


Shasha cautiously descends the stairs, plastering a polite smile on her face. Still not sure that they aren’t zombies, worrying if this will be her last night. But it can’t be! She hasn’t finished the book yet.


“Come now. You know your Aunt Rita and Uncle Rudolf.” Her mother nudges her.


“I do?”

August 16, 2024 23:25

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46 comments

12:24 Aug 29, 2024

Clever ending and a great canter through a child's view of the world, especially when they're so engrossed in the book they're reading and how that colours everything else. Great read!

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Trudy Jas
15:19 Aug 29, 2024

Thank you, Penelope. The ending is true. I was pursued by an aunt and uncle (who I didn't recognize). Scared me half to death. :-)

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23:05 Aug 28, 2024

That was a completely unexpected use of the final "I do"! Hopefully, Sasha got back to her story and all ended well.

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Trudy Jas
23:23 Aug 28, 2024

Thank you, Christine. Her aunt and uncle turned out not to be zombies. LOL

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23:47 Aug 29, 2024

Woah! Amazing story. Sasha reminds me of myself.

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Trudy Jas
05:29 Aug 30, 2024

Thanks, Phoebe. Don't we all have a little dreamer inside of us? How else can we spin tales. :-)

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21:39 Sep 01, 2024

We all need to dream.

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Julie Grenness
22:17 Aug 28, 2024

Great read! The writer successfully created an atmosphere with credible characters skilfully portrayed. The sense of humour at the conclusion lightened up to work well for this reader.

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Trudy Jas
22:21 Aug 28, 2024

Thank you, Julie. I had fun writing it. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

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Chris Sage
11:41 Aug 28, 2024

Nice exploration of a child's imagination! Can relate

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Trudy Jas
12:27 Aug 28, 2024

Thanks, Chris. :-)

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Karen Hope
10:35 Aug 26, 2024

Such a fun and realistic look at childhood imagination and the way adults just don’t get it! With her final “I do” she further delays finishing her book. Poor kid!

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Trudy Jas
10:54 Aug 26, 2024

Thanks Karen. I'm glad you enjoyed it. 12/13 is just an awkward time all round. :-)

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KA James
21:25 Aug 25, 2024

Ah, another story that succeeds in bringing back memories, of late evening, barefoot bike trips to the little store a few blocks from home. I remember different things in the shadows,but your description of trying to pedal frantically to stay ahead of them sure rings true. As does the child / adult interactions. Really enjoyed it

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Trudy Jas
21:36 Aug 25, 2024

Thanks! I have no doubt your fantasies were even more colorful back then. LOL

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Helen A Smith
09:04 Aug 25, 2024

I really enjoyed the child’s POV. Took me back to the intensity of a developing imagination, the joy of being immersed in a book, combined with all the fears of what’s under the bed, zombies, and other nameless terrors. I felt as if I was that line listening to the adult conversations in the story. An engaging read.

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Trudy Jas
15:49 Aug 25, 2024

Thank you, Helen. And yes, those nasty dark corners and awful things under the bed. (to this day I don't look there) :-)

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TE Wetzel
04:18 Aug 25, 2024

Great story. I feel like I would have used my taser on Mrs. Chatter in less than 3 minutes though. (I would have been discreet about it, of course. Get her right under the armpit when no one was looking.) I like Sasha and she needed a little help there.

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Trudy Jas
05:14 Aug 25, 2024

LOL. I wish I had known you when I was twelve or thirteen. Would have taken you with me on any twilight bike trip to the store. I would be so less scarred today (as long as you would have told me to close my eyes at the gruesome moments). You are my hero. :-)

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TE Wetzel
09:45 Aug 25, 2024

Aw shucks...you are too kind. Btw, for half an egg salad sandwich Margot is happy to accompany you anywhere you need to go. You can walk through the worst ghettos anywhere in this world and she will clear out the sidewalk for you. A far more effective form of self-defense than any taser ever made. A half-hungry Margot is basically the same as a pride of lions on the hunt. Just know in advance that there will likely be some very, very gruesome moments, followed by stubbed tail twitching - you really can't call it "wagging" because it's def...

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TE Wetzel
13:29 Aug 25, 2024

Last week a hired assassin from Chechnya shot her with a sniper rifle and she just rubbed some dirt on it and walked it off. That guy never made it back home and the body has not been recovered. #Don'tMessWithMargot

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Trudy Jas
15:47 Aug 25, 2024

I am overwhelmed at your generosity; can't believe you'd lend her out! You would be so lonely without her. And who would defend you? I can only imagine the "very gruesome moments" that will follow the ingestion of an egg salad sandwich. LOL

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TE Wetzel
19:41 Aug 25, 2024

Yes, a poorly refrigerated egg salad sandwich might upset her little tummy for a bit, but nothing else can really slow her down. A hungry polar bear, a Marine Corps battalion, tactical nukes, an extinction-level event via comet impact, etc. She'll be fine. Frenchies are tough. And she still wants that sandwich! (Chips on the side, hold the pickles.)

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Claire Trbovic
20:47 Aug 24, 2024

Loved this prompt twister! I feel like sassy Mrs. Pierson deserves to make an appearance in another story, the people pleaser in me shuddered a bit when I read “Fine, what?” Haha!

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Trudy Jas
21:32 Aug 24, 2024

I know! And can't you just see her holding the package of coffee just out of reach till she gets a thank you. The #*@& +! LOL Thanks Clare.

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Darvico Ulmeli
16:28 Aug 24, 2024

It was a fun read. Enjoyed. Nicely done.

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Trudy Jas
16:45 Aug 24, 2024

Thank you, Darvico

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Marla Patrick
11:11 Aug 24, 2024

Way to turn the prompt on its ear! I recognized that growing panic feeling I often had as a child (and maybe every once in a while as an adult) when I realized just how vulnerable I was - especially to zombies and shadows! Nicely done. :)

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Trudy Jas
12:01 Aug 24, 2024

Thank you, Marla. It's those little dark corners (in our minds and other places) that are the scariest.

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07:50 Aug 23, 2024

Ah, Trudy, I loved this! I kinda miss the wild imagination of my youth. You perfectly captured the universal experience of childhood, which is tricky to do. Excellent writing!

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Trudy Jas
12:05 Aug 23, 2024

Thanks, Joshua. But, boy, if you, of all people, "miss the wild imagination of your youth", then I really feel sorry for your parents and teachers, for t must have been out of this world. LOL

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18:46 Aug 23, 2024

Ha! That reminds me of a school assignment where we wrote a gothic horror story. I thought to myself, 'My time to shine!' What I wrote freaked out my teacher so much that she contacted my parents to check that everything was okay with me.

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Trudy Jas
19:00 Aug 23, 2024

LOL. I believe you. We moved when I was 12 or 13. When the rooms were cleared, my mother made one final walk through, to make sure. She marveled at the bizarre drawings all around my bed. They were my bedtime stories I illustrated each night. I at least, had the good sense to keep it all to myself till my dotage. I'm supposed to be eccentric by now. :-)

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Hannah Lynn
17:30 Aug 20, 2024

My favorite line … Time when nightmares step out for some fresh air and a smoke. That’s great, as are so many other lines in this story! A fun read!

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Trudy Jas
18:05 Aug 20, 2024

:-) I liked that one too. Thanks, Hannah. It's amazing how much milage you can get from one little trip to the store. LOL.

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Mary Bendickson
23:33 Aug 19, 2024

Recognized two great writers here and a paranoid little girl.😉☺️

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Trudy Jas
23:48 Aug 19, 2024

😂 Thanks Mary. I'll pass on the praise. The little girl grew out of her fear of the dark, but she still likes having a nightlight. :-)

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Keba Ghardt
23:35 Aug 17, 2024

You have a lovely way of stepping into specific voices, and that flip into fantasy, that every child brain does at dark, really shines through here

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Trudy Jas
02:11 Aug 18, 2024

Thanks, Keba. Really appreciate your comments. I like settling in other minds, sort of like doing "little theater" all by myself. LOL

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21:32 Aug 17, 2024

I can remember the bookworm days of reading stories that were too scary, having my imagination run away with me, and shadows being monsters. Also, the eternal interruptions while reading, being the oldest, and being in demand to do things. So well told. Funny twist at the end.

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Trudy Jas
21:52 Aug 17, 2024

Thanks, Kaitlyn. Twelve-year-olds are the same the world over, aren't they?

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Alexis Araneta
13:51 Aug 17, 2024

Loved this one, Trudy !! Such a unique way to utilise the prompt. Quite fun. Oh and yay for Myranda getting a mention !

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Trudy Jas
14:53 Aug 17, 2024

Thank you, Alexis. Fun fact: The ride home, two people in a car following me, panic/fear, turning out to be an aunt and uncle? Myranda's book? All true (can't speak for the shadows, monsters and nightmares) LOL

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Myranda Marie
23:47 Aug 16, 2024

Nice twist on the prompt...... of course I am your biggest fan, but this one is just a little more special. :)

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Trudy Jas
00:03 Aug 17, 2024

LOL. Thanks, Miranda. Obviously, little Sasha is a fan of your stories too

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