You fear sleep, you don't know why, well yes you do. Often it is easier to lie than to tell people the truth you like to tell yourself. Part of you hates yourself for keeping it a secret but you know it's for the best. After all, no one in the right mind sees, and communicates with someone in their unconscious sleep. The problem is that the ¨someone¨ isn't some nobody that dwindles in the faraway abyss of your waking mind. It's your ex, the toxic one you thought you loved in ninth grade before you got those death threats on your phone. Screw dating apps I guess. Two weeks after you started talking to your ex in your dreams you were diagnosed with insomnia (would you really want to sleep when your ex is swearing and threatening you in your dreams?). That was a real punch in the gut. You wanted to scream at the doctor and tell him he was wrong, scream at your parents and tell them they should have stayed together and worked things out, scream at the whole damn world for not trying hard enough. But you didn't really feel like getting put in a psych ward that night, as if your world isn't crazy enough.
It all started the day you broke up with her, that was also the day you came out to your parents. You could tell by their faces pansexuality didn't exactly run in the family. The library was closed that day but hopped the fence through tear filled eyes and picked the lock with shaking hands you could barely control. The door had swung open with a sound that could be directly extracted from a horror movie. The library was dark, but that was to be expected. You slid a book off the ¨on hold¨ shelf and nestled into a corner between adult fiction and YA history. It might have been five minutes before you looked down at the book you grabbed. The prior events of the day had come rushing back and a panic attack was imminent. You finally had the sense to look down at the book that was waiting patiently on your lap. The cover read Pride and Prejudice, a classic you thought. You flipped open the book and began to read. The first few pages were, well, normal. You had only read this five times before. Suddenly a gust of wind came through an open window and the book's pages fluttered, turning you to a page deep inside that wretched book. Something in your system kicked in and you got up to leave. This was not a good idea you had thought to yourself. The book landed with a thump and your knees buckled. Unable to control your legs you slammed into a bookshelf and went down hard on the linoleum floor. The last thing you saw was the pages of Pride and Prejudice spread out on the floor before you blacked out in a pool of your own blood.
The first time you saw Natasha was in a white room, in your mind of course. She looked as confused as you felt but when she saw you she scowled. ¨Are we dead?¨ she questioned. Without waiting for a reply she kept talking ¨If not kill me now because i'm not living out the rest of my days trapped in a room with you.¨ You rolled your eyes to show your distaste but when your eyes came back down Nat was gone and every feeling was replaced with a bone rattling headache. You propped yourself up and put a finger to head and came away fingers sticky with drying blood from a wound long dried up. You stood up and hobbled out the library door not really concerned about the mess you had made in the library. Nor the fact that your favorite librarians would think an ax murderer had come through their sanctuary on their vacation day. When you got home you went right up to your room trying to piece together what happened. In the end you figured it was just a hallucination and went to bed. Boy were you wrong. The instructions came that night. I was sitting on a couch with Nat at my side as Pride and Prejudice read itself. ¨ Embrace the curse or it will get worse¨ it whispered in an eerie voice ¨To break the spell you must meet up and tell¨. ¨tell what?¨ Nat scoffed ¨a secret¨ the voice whispered almost inaudibly. ¨ hell no¨ you tell the book ¨like i would ever meet up with this bitch again let alone tell her a secret.¨ and then you woke up, that was the end of it. Well, until the next night. After each incident with Nat you considered texting her but you knew it would be no use, she was as stubborn as a rock.
Months had gone by and you two had gotten closer. Maybe your mind was alluding to the fact that she had changed even if she was still the same person you had left that fateful day in the library. Tonight you actually wanted to see Nat. Your dad had shown up at your house, drunk like ninety percent of the time he came to your mothers house. He screamed for you using the name that was no longer yours. He found you in the closet and tried to throw a plate at you. You ducked instinctively. It hit your sister in the head. Right now she's in the hospital getting stitches woven into her head. Your father is being held in jail, for the night at least. You closed your eyes waiting for Nat. As you sat on the velvet couch you thought about what the book had said many days ago about meeting up. The both of you hadn't talked about it since but you thought maybe you were finally ready. Just as the thought had left your mind Nat appeared. She smiled and climbed on your lap and you giggled. You had failed to realize it before but she was such a romantic. She looked up at you and planted a kiss on your lips. When she was done kissing you she schooched off of you and looked at you with dark stormy eyes. ¨I-i was thinking¨ you started ¨We have this here, why not everywhere?¨ you questioned. ¨ So you're imposing we meet up?” like the book said in the beginning¨ she breathed. ¨Yes¨ you said, letting out a long sigh. She put her head on your shoulder, ¨how about Friday?¨