A fight for death

General Mateo was killing it. Killing them all, to be precise. Thirteen tall brutes with shaved heads came rushing toward him from the front. The two behind him seemed to be readying for an ambush. General Mateo couldn’t care less. He raised his sword high in the air and plunged it into the soil. Thick, dazzling beams of light shot out of the ground and annihilated all fifteen of them. Two enormous ones attacked him with spears. Futile, he muttered. He danced about them a little and then, once again, raised his sword high in the air and plunged it into the soil. The two bid adieu to the arena. General Mateo was giving the fight his all. Not because he wanted to end it quickly, but because he wanted to end himself as quickly as possible.

A few meters ahead, General Mateo spotted a huge opportunity; six of the big ones standing inside a fenced field with thick, wooden bats in their hands. Could this get any easier? He ran towards them, his sword gleaming in his hand, and the dust flying off the ground as he stepped on it. The six hadn’t spotted him yet. He kept running towards them at full speed with his long, brown beard swaying with the wind. Just as they spotted him, he leapt in the air with his sword held high, and pierced the earth with it as he came down. The dazzling light blew away all six of them. But, along with the brutes, it blew off a grenade, too. Crap.

The blast threw him several feet in the air, eventually dropping him on the roof of a hut. He crashed through the roof and landed on his back with a thud. His sword blackened before turning into dust, right in front of his eyes. I suppose this is it. He rolled on his side, sat up, and looked at the sky. “My time has come. It is now time for my son to take—” No sooner had these words escaped his mouth, he saw a sparkling blue crystal appear in front of him, before everything changed. The sword had been repaired and was gleaming with its former glory in his hand. His wounds had vanished. His fractures were repaired. Before he knew it, he was up on his feet outside the hut, looking for more heads to slay.

After running for a few hundred yards, he came face to face with a giant who had, apparently, come out of the earth and seemed to be hungry. The giant grabbed at General Mateo’s feet with his left hand. The General slayed it. The right one followed. The General slayed that, too. Incapacitating the giant, General Mateo tried to walk past him but the giant’s hands started to grow back. That’s interesting. Before the General could do anything, the giant grew back his arms fully and, grabbing General Mateo by his legs, twirled him in the air and flung him several yards away.

Should’ve used the sword, the General thought as he found himself in a thick bush, with his arms and legs twisted at awkward angles. He sensed his health deteriorating. With his sword annihilated again, he thought, This is it. He dragged his body to the side and barely managed to get his head above the rest of his body. “My time has come and I will soon be reuniting with my fellow brethren up in heaven. But, while I have the time, I declare my son the next—”

Once again, the sparkling blue crystal flashed in front of his eyes and his sword flew back to his hand. He looked at his body. All his wounds were healed. His arms and legs were no longer twisted. Before he knew it, he was back on his feet, as fit and strong as ever. This is absolutely stupefying. He turned around and looked back at the giant, who had twirled him like a napkin in the air, and ran towards him. Just as the giant leaned forward to grab General Mateo by the feet again, General Mateo leapt a hundred feet in the air, came down with the speed of light, and plunged the sword into the soil for the third time. The giant turned red at the belly and within a matter of seconds, burst into a huge ball of fire that quickly turned into smoke and vanished. General Mateo turned around and started running, to look for more employment for his sword.

As he kept running, the sky kept getting darker and darker until it turned completely violet. He saw a white light coming out of a big hut, with its door swaying with the wind. Not willing to waste another second, he sprinted towards it. On any other day, General Mateo would’ve remained outside the hut and waited patiently, listening for any signs of movement. Not today. He ran straight through the door and, much to his surprise came across a chicken that was startled by his sudden entry. He turned around to leave but, just as he did so, he heard the roof creak. He turned around again and saw that the chicken had grown a hundred times in size, with swollen biceps and thick, human legs. Really, now. He lifted his sword up but this time, before his sword could puncture the soil, the chicken kicked him in the stomach and he flew out of the hut, landing head first on the ground.

As he lay on the ground, moaning, he felt excruciating pain in his stomach. His neck was twisted a full hundred-and-eighty degrees to the left. He tried to lift his neck up, but couldn’t. In the distance, he saw the chicken running at full speed in his direction. Crap.

He tried to get up but just couldn’t get himself to do so. Gonna have to do this lying, I suppose. How fun. He closed his eyes and began his soliloquy.

“My time has come. This is the end of General Mateo. But, the fight must go on and I have firm belief that my son—” Oh come on! The blue crystal made its appearance again. The chicken vanished. And again, for the third time, General Mateo found himself on his feet, perfectly healthy, with each and every limb in the right place, as if nothing had happened.

This has gone too far. General Mateo raised his sword and was about to jab it into the soil out of sheer frustration when something clicked in his mind. A grin appeared on his face. He lowered his sword and looked up at the sky, trying to find the three stars that formed the Belt of Orion. As he kept looking at the sky, the grin on his face grew wider and wider. It’s gone. He punched the air with delight and set out to look for wooden barrels. He spotted three in a place. Ecstasy dripping off his face, he lifted his sword and broke the first barrel. Nothing. It’s fine, there are two more, he comforted himself. He lifted his sword again and pierced the top of the second barrel. Nothing, again. He couldn’t believe it. This is rigged! He kicked the third barrel in agitation. Kaboom!

Just as his foot connected with the third barrel, General Mateo saw a zillion tiny suns right in front of his eyes. He was blown away by the magnitude of the explosion. As he lay motionless on the ground, he saw a golden sphere appear in the sky, followed by something he had been, literally, dying to see. ‘Game Over’. General Mateo heaved a sigh of relief.

Pixels need to rest, too.