1071 comments

Fiction Crime

SHOUTOUT TO COCO LONGSTAFF SHE'S AMAZING!!!! CHECK HER OUT AT https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/coco-longstaff/


When James woke up in the morning, he did not speak to his fellow Workers. No one spoke, because to speak your mind is to sin. James tried to keep his mind as blank as he could but the unspoken sins kept rising up to meet him.


There were 100 people in the room, their beds lined up in columns. James' was on the column closest to the right wall, so he saw the beds of everyone else. He wanted to tell them to go back to bed, that it was too early, but it was already ten minutes into their breakfast time.


James lifted his legs to the side of the bed and straightened his back as he had always done. He put on his shoes and let his shirt fall onto his back. James used to hate those clothes, with their disgusting off-white colors. At first, he'd tried to wear his own, but then by some change of heart, he found that he loved them. He still didn't know why. His best guess was that the Leaders didn't think he needed the information.


All the men walked in a line out of the bedroom to the dining hall while James thought about his unspoken sins. Your hair is too long, he thought about the man to his left, I don't like your face, he thought about another. None of the men could hear his crimes, but he tried to make them known of his distaste.


It's dark today. Do we have to go out when it's dark? James knew it was a horrible crime to wish not to work, not to contribute to the Workforce, but who could punish him for his thoughts??


"You're too stinky, I don't like your eyes, your nose is disgusting, All of you look horrible and ugly." Everyone looked at him with shock, but James kept spooning green beans onto his platter. Only when he turned around did he realize he'd committed his last sin for all to see.


Don't speak of it, James said with his eyes. That was the only way the Workers communicated, and a very effective one at that. The other Workers turned away and continued to eat their beans.


At 5:00 in the morning, all the men filed out to the streets and began their work. It was a tedious task, the one assigned to them., keeping the streets clean. There was a shed at each intersection with brooms and blowers, and every day the Workers took their tools from there. The streets had wide sidewalks so there was more space to clean but they got up early so they could finish before dinner.


James worked on the 260th quadrant of town, where the leaves were gray and shriveled. They crumbled whenever he tried to sweep them up, which was a pain, but he made do. Through all of his years as a Worker, he had learned the correct way to hold a broom, with your lower hand pressing down and your upper pressing up. It made work a little more bearable.


James liked to think of the other Workers as shrimp, dancing across the stones in the sidewalk. It was a curse, his brain, his damned creativity, but it was funny. He had to stifle a laugh every now and then so as not to become a Pupil at the Reeducation Institute. If you spoke out of line, it was simply ration cuts. For a laugh, you got pain.


The first time that a laugh drifted into James' ears was a long time ago, he couldn't tell how long. It had been business as usual and James' head wasn't crowded with the sins it was today. He had gone to his corner with a broom, prepared for a hard day of work. Back then, he had a partner. It was a stout man, with a rough beard. Few Workers had beards. The man had committed a heinous crime, one that even James dared not to commit: He had whistled. It was a horrible treachery but James couldn't help himself. He opened his ears to the man's whistling and let it warm him up.


A few weeks after the man's offense, James had come upon his corner one day to find that he was alone. There was no partner, no musical lilt in the air. It had been long enough, and they reeducated him. James couldn't cry, no, because he hadn't really known the man, but he did feel sick to his stomach. He refused his extra portions and even starved himself.


In the darkness, as James lay in bed trying to fall asleep, a voice came to him. It wasn't any voice that he'd heard before, but a deep voice. The words rang out in front of him, the stops and fricatives rolling into his ears. Who are you? He pondered over the voice, then found himself at a sudden halt. His words weren't their own, no, but the voice spoke them.


James wanted to scream, to rip the voice from his brain, but then a warmth settled over him. It was an odd feeling, something entirely new to him but not unknown. He settled into the voice, realizing its entirety. The deep tones had felt odd in his mind, but he now felt a kinship to them. The voice was not any voice but James' voice. It was the first time James had heard a voice.


You have a deep voice... I... I have a deep voice. James felt the word 'I', the new meaning shocking his brain. He had never thought of himself in the individual before. Did his thoughts echo through the minds of others? I like cheese. I don't like your hair. I really hate mice. James tested it out, thought all horrible things about all manners of people, but they never responded or even glanced at him. He was free in his mind, free to speak and to insult and to prefer and to love and to cherish and to hate. It was his own, the mind, and he found that he loved it. There was nothing that could make him separate from it.

January 11, 2021 17:19

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1071 comments

Nainika Gupta
14:39 Jan 13, 2021

Also, how in the sam hill did you unfollow EVERYONE??? XDXDXD

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. .
14:39 Jan 13, 2021

I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWW IT WAS HORRIBLEEEEEEE

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Nainika Gupta
14:40 Jan 13, 2021

HAHAHAHAHHAHA omg, that's terrible butttt, at least you got it back :D

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. .
14:41 Jan 13, 2021

XDDD Yes it issss oh I was so stressed

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Nainika Gupta
14:43 Jan 13, 2021

omg i can imagine loll whoops :D

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. .
14:43 Jan 13, 2021

XDDDDD My heart is still calming down I was like NOOOOOOOOOOO

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Nainika Gupta
14:38 Jan 13, 2021

LUKEEE YOU ASKED A HORSE TRIVIA QUESTION AND OF COURSE I KNOWWWW Rocinante IS DON QUIXONTE'S HORSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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. .
14:39 Jan 13, 2021

YASSSSSSSS YOU ARE RIGHT!!!! SHOUTOUT FOR YOU ON MY NEXT STORY!!!!

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Nainika Gupta
14:39 Jan 13, 2021

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (Ask more horse trivia bc I know it ALLLL :D:D:D:D)

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. .
14:41 Jan 13, 2021

XDDDDDDDD I WON'T JUST FOR THAT!!

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Nainika Gupta
14:42 Jan 13, 2021

....how rude XDXDXD

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. .
14:43 Jan 13, 2021

XDXDXD HEHEHEHEHEHEHE I do have some Atlas Shrugged and Anthem ones tho :)

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Megan Sutherland
14:18 Jan 13, 2021

Why'd u unfollow me? :(

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. .
14:18 Jan 13, 2021

I'M SORRY I PRESSED A BUTTON AND IT UNFOLLOWED EVERYONEEEEEEE

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Megan Sutherland
16:12 Jan 13, 2021

oop Among Us today? It might have to wait until like 330 because I have stuff I gotta get done :/

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. .
16:13 Jan 13, 2021

I can't... my phone was confiscatedddddd

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Megan Sutherland
18:14 Jan 13, 2021

Ughhhhhhhhhhh whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Luke i thought u said u were a good boi XD :(

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. .
18:15 Jan 13, 2021

I AM I SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

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you know what im gonna get you to fifth place. cause youre so close

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. .
12:44 Jan 13, 2021

OMG THANKS YOUUUUUU

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. .
15:01 Jan 13, 2021

:DDDDDDDDD

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Mira Caplan
19:33 Jan 12, 2021

What's Malefice's theme song again??? It's k pop...

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. .
19:51 Jan 12, 2021

I dunno

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Mira Caplan
20:22 Jan 12, 2021

Hwaa by....some group

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Mira Caplan
20:22 Jan 12, 2021

(G)-Idle

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. .
20:28 Jan 12, 2021

No HWAA is the TOV theme song

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Mira Caplan
20:30 Jan 12, 2021

That's what I meant, lol XD We need a Malefice oneeeee

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✰ Jennie ✰
19:10 Jan 12, 2021

EIGHTH PLACE WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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. .
19:12 Jan 12, 2021

WOAHHHHHHHHHHH

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Maya -
18:50 Jan 12, 2021

Hey Luke, do you want to play Skribble (the online pictionary game) with me and Sapphire and maybe Isaac?

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. .
18:53 Jan 12, 2021

Sure!! I've never played beforeeeee but okay!!

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Maya -
18:53 Jan 12, 2021

Yay!!! Here's the link: https://skribbl.io/?L25xaSI0Jjxb

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Maya -
18:55 Jan 12, 2021

Does it work for you?

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. .
18:58 Jan 12, 2021

I think so

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Maya -
19:19 Jan 12, 2021

XD you had more points than me and Isaac combined Want to play again?

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. .
19:20 Jan 12, 2021

YAS PLS!!!

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I was downvoted so HELP Also, congrats on 8th! Getting you to 7th!

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. .
18:04 Jan 12, 2021

NOOOO OFC I HELP!!! THANKS YOU!!

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Sapphire 🌼
17:57 Jan 12, 2021

FALSE ALARM IT WAS A PRANK APPARENTLYYY damn i was just about to unleash my rage aww I didn't have a chance to do thatttttt

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. .
17:57 Jan 12, 2021

XDDDD THAT'S AN OOF

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Sapphire 🌼
17:59 Jan 12, 2021

Nah I'll just do it on my brother who's prolly just gonna stare at me like I'm a weirdo

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. .
18:00 Jan 12, 2021

XDDDDDD

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Sapphire 🌼
18:01 Jan 12, 2021

I feel bad for him XD

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. .
18:02 Jan 12, 2021

XD Who's your bro?

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Maya -
16:11 Jan 12, 2021

Upvote spree? :D

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. .
16:14 Jan 12, 2021

Ofc!!

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Maya -
16:17 Jan 12, 2021

I'll try to get you up a place today! You're in the top ten!!!

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. .
16:17 Jan 12, 2021

I AMMMMMMMMM HAPPY

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Maya -
16:20 Jan 12, 2021

XDDDDDDDD

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. .
16:23 Jan 12, 2021

XDDDDDDDD

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Aman Fatima
13:32 Jan 12, 2021

I started reading because its inspired by George Orwell and I've only read his one book 1984 and I love that book. Same goes for your story, I loved it and its quite interesting. Great job. Keep writing!!!

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. .
13:33 Jan 12, 2021

Thanks so much, Aman!! I loved writing this one.

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Mira Caplan
03:03 Jan 12, 2021

PART 12 OF TDR HAS BEEN POSTED

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. .
12:43 Jan 12, 2021

OMG YAS

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Mira Caplan
01:13 Jan 12, 2021

New thread because...yeah.

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. .
12:44 Jan 12, 2021

Hello!!! I think a name ending with i would be good for a space character.

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Mira Caplan
14:01 Jan 12, 2021

Yeah...

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. .
14:04 Jan 12, 2021

:D

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Mira Caplan
14:01 Jan 12, 2021

Yeah...

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00:07 Jan 12, 2021

This story really speaks to me; your style is amazing!

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. .
00:18 Jan 12, 2021

Thanks so much, Ethan!!

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Maya -
17:34 Jan 11, 2021

Wow!!! This is awesome! It's definitely has a George Orwell tone, kind of like 1984. It was such a creative idea for the prompt. James was such an interesting character and you portrayed his unusual thoughts really well! I also loved the way it was set in a kind of normal world except for the fact that they couldn't say what they believed out loud. The title is really great, too! Amazing job!!!!! :DDD

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. .
17:35 Jan 11, 2021

Thanks so much Maya!!!! I really tried to go for his style and I'm glad it came through!! Yeah, James is an anomaly. Thanks youuuuuuuu!!!

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Maya -
17:35 Jan 11, 2021

No problem! I really enjoyed reading it!!!

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Mira Caplan
17:28 Jan 11, 2021

................................You'll be a world famous author by 16. No question about it.

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. .
17:31 Jan 11, 2021

XD That's good to know XDDDDDDDD

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Mira Caplan
18:09 Jan 11, 2021

I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND AND IT'S OBVIOUS. Just mention me a teensy bit and tell people to read TDR so I'm like...hal as famous as you?

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. .
18:10 Jan 11, 2021

Of course I will!!!!!

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Mira Caplan
18:11 Jan 11, 2021

Yay!!! Tolkien IS more famous than C.S.Lewis, anyway...

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. .
18:11 Jan 11, 2021

Yeah, but that's fineeeeeeeeeee

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14:25 Feb 19, 2021

Okay let’s seeeeee... TIME TO GUESS FOR DA EMOJI PUZZLE! Oki. Uhm. Dead book?? Spell book? Nah, the emoji riddles are usually actual things. Sooo...a book. A coffin and a skull. Ooh! The Graveyard Book? Is that a thing? I think I’ve heard of it but haven’t read it. Uhmmm...actually, nope, that’s all my terrible guesses XD (Also, don’t mind me, just ruining the perfect 1100 comments on this)

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. .
14:30 Feb 19, 2021

YERP IT IS!!!! Ohhh that's okayyyyyyyyyy it was too good to be true anyway...

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14:51 Feb 19, 2021

Yayyyyy! XD

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. .
14:54 Feb 19, 2021

XDXD XP

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Maya -
22:46 Jan 14, 2021

Are the marshmallows not an upvoting group anymore, because of the story "Goodbye" by Upvoter and the alt accounts? Also, I have a new message on Reedsy in a story.

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. .
23:15 Jan 14, 2021

Upvoted and I came to a decision and we’re still friends but not upvote police

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Maya -
23:17 Jan 14, 2021

Good! I agree with what she was saying so... :DDD Marhamallows forever!!!

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. .
23:17 Jan 14, 2021

Totally

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Maya -
23:19 Jan 14, 2021

:D

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Sapphire 🌼
21:27 Jan 14, 2021

Sorry for bugging you but....whaddya think - https://soundcloud.com/user-383767046

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. .
20:48 Jan 14, 2021

Its been nice being mallows with you... :)

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Are we still friens? :D it’s been nice to be a mallow with you too :D

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. .
20:53 Jan 14, 2021

Of course we are!!!

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YAy! Goodbye, great mallows. Inform the team (team as in the group of friends)

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. .
20:54 Jan 14, 2021

:D Yes!!

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