1071 comments

Fiction Crime

SHOUTOUT TO COCO LONGSTAFF SHE'S AMAZING!!!! CHECK HER OUT AT https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/coco-longstaff/


When James woke up in the morning, he did not speak to his fellow Workers. No one spoke, because to speak your mind is to sin. James tried to keep his mind as blank as he could but the unspoken sins kept rising up to meet him.


There were 100 people in the room, their beds lined up in columns. James' was on the column closest to the right wall, so he saw the beds of everyone else. He wanted to tell them to go back to bed, that it was too early, but it was already ten minutes into their breakfast time.


James lifted his legs to the side of the bed and straightened his back as he had always done. He put on his shoes and let his shirt fall onto his back. James used to hate those clothes, with their disgusting off-white colors. At first, he'd tried to wear his own, but then by some change of heart, he found that he loved them. He still didn't know why. His best guess was that the Leaders didn't think he needed the information.


All the men walked in a line out of the bedroom to the dining hall while James thought about his unspoken sins. Your hair is too long, he thought about the man to his left, I don't like your face, he thought about another. None of the men could hear his crimes, but he tried to make them known of his distaste.


It's dark today. Do we have to go out when it's dark? James knew it was a horrible crime to wish not to work, not to contribute to the Workforce, but who could punish him for his thoughts??


"You're too stinky, I don't like your eyes, your nose is disgusting, All of you look horrible and ugly." Everyone looked at him with shock, but James kept spooning green beans onto his platter. Only when he turned around did he realize he'd committed his last sin for all to see.


Don't speak of it, James said with his eyes. That was the only way the Workers communicated, and a very effective one at that. The other Workers turned away and continued to eat their beans.


At 5:00 in the morning, all the men filed out to the streets and began their work. It was a tedious task, the one assigned to them., keeping the streets clean. There was a shed at each intersection with brooms and blowers, and every day the Workers took their tools from there. The streets had wide sidewalks so there was more space to clean but they got up early so they could finish before dinner.


James worked on the 260th quadrant of town, where the leaves were gray and shriveled. They crumbled whenever he tried to sweep them up, which was a pain, but he made do. Through all of his years as a Worker, he had learned the correct way to hold a broom, with your lower hand pressing down and your upper pressing up. It made work a little more bearable.


James liked to think of the other Workers as shrimp, dancing across the stones in the sidewalk. It was a curse, his brain, his damned creativity, but it was funny. He had to stifle a laugh every now and then so as not to become a Pupil at the Reeducation Institute. If you spoke out of line, it was simply ration cuts. For a laugh, you got pain.


The first time that a laugh drifted into James' ears was a long time ago, he couldn't tell how long. It had been business as usual and James' head wasn't crowded with the sins it was today. He had gone to his corner with a broom, prepared for a hard day of work. Back then, he had a partner. It was a stout man, with a rough beard. Few Workers had beards. The man had committed a heinous crime, one that even James dared not to commit: He had whistled. It was a horrible treachery but James couldn't help himself. He opened his ears to the man's whistling and let it warm him up.


A few weeks after the man's offense, James had come upon his corner one day to find that he was alone. There was no partner, no musical lilt in the air. It had been long enough, and they reeducated him. James couldn't cry, no, because he hadn't really known the man, but he did feel sick to his stomach. He refused his extra portions and even starved himself.


In the darkness, as James lay in bed trying to fall asleep, a voice came to him. It wasn't any voice that he'd heard before, but a deep voice. The words rang out in front of him, the stops and fricatives rolling into his ears. Who are you? He pondered over the voice, then found himself at a sudden halt. His words weren't their own, no, but the voice spoke them.


James wanted to scream, to rip the voice from his brain, but then a warmth settled over him. It was an odd feeling, something entirely new to him but not unknown. He settled into the voice, realizing its entirety. The deep tones had felt odd in his mind, but he now felt a kinship to them. The voice was not any voice but James' voice. It was the first time James had heard a voice.


You have a deep voice... I... I have a deep voice. James felt the word 'I', the new meaning shocking his brain. He had never thought of himself in the individual before. Did his thoughts echo through the minds of others? I like cheese. I don't like your hair. I really hate mice. James tested it out, thought all horrible things about all manners of people, but they never responded or even glanced at him. He was free in his mind, free to speak and to insult and to prefer and to love and to cherish and to hate. It was his own, the mind, and he found that he loved it. There was nothing that could make him separate from it.

January 11, 2021 17:19

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1071 comments

. .
19:25 Jan 14, 2021

I knowwww but its true. Reedsy shouldn't be about anything more than writing.

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. .
19:30 Jan 14, 2021

:D

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I think it was International 4-8818? Right? For the Who does Equality 7-2521 find the underground cave with?

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19:22 Jan 14, 2021

Yeah, fine

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. .
19:23 Jan 14, 2021

Check my bio

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Mira Caplan
17:54 Jan 14, 2021

LUKE HELP I NEED TO EDIT 13 WHAT DO I DO HELP ME PLEASE

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. .
17:55 Jan 14, 2021

OFC WHAT DO YOU NEED HELP WITH

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Mira Caplan
17:55 Jan 14, 2021

The.....thing you said........uh.......the info dumping. How do I not do that????? WHAT DO I CUT OUT OR CHANGE???

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17:56 Jan 14, 2021

You have to add an emotion behind the infodumping, make it a sad phrase or make someone annoyed when they say it. It makes a lot more sense.

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Mira Caplan
17:56 Jan 14, 2021

..........example? :)

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17:58 Jan 14, 2021

Instead of Raya saying something like "Just like I'm not supposed to love someone that's not a noble." make it "Just like mommy dearest says, I can't love anyone!

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Maya -
17:20 Jan 14, 2021

Want to play skribble at 2:30, if you're not busy? :)

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. .
17:21 Jan 14, 2021

Sure!!

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Maya -
17:22 Jan 14, 2021

Yay!!! Do you want to ask Mira if she wants to join?

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. .
17:25 Jan 14, 2021

She said yes!!!

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Maya -
17:26 Jan 14, 2021

Yay!!!!!!!!

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. .
17:27 Jan 14, 2021

:DDDD

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Maya -
17:22 Jan 14, 2021

I did the thing you said to do btw.

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. .
17:25 Jan 14, 2021

Thanks!!

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Maya -
17:26 Jan 14, 2021

Ofc!

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Mira Caplan
17:02 Jan 14, 2021

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! probably that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (My Good Luke Charm, right?????????????)

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Mira Caplan
16:59 Jan 14, 2021

See how quickly my personality can change? From that long thread to the auburn hair thing... it's kinda scary XD

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. .
16:59 Jan 14, 2021

Its good to shift gears!! Maybe you're a figment of my own dark feelings, because reality is subjectiveeeeeeee

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Mira Caplan
17:00 Jan 14, 2021

....................you have no need for dark feelings, because you are going to be one of the greatest authors of. all. time. Or what if it's the opposite.....???????

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. .
17:01 Jan 14, 2021

Maybe I'm your selflove and happy feelings and great ideas

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Mira Caplan
17:02 Jan 14, 2021

YOU ARE MY GOOD LUKE CHARM BECAUSE...INSPIRATION

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. .
17:03 Jan 14, 2021

XD Yas!!!

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Sapphire 🌼
16:57 Jan 14, 2021

OMG I JUST REALISED.....YOUR #5 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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. .
16:59 Jan 14, 2021

I KNOW I AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM AHHHHHHHHH

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Sapphire 🌼
16:59 Jan 14, 2021

WE NEED TO GET YOU ON THE TOP 3 AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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. .
17:00 Jan 14, 2021

AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT'D BE SOOOOOO CRAYCRAY

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Sapphire 🌼
17:02 Jan 14, 2021

OMG WHAT IF WE GET YOU TO #1 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHY AM I FREAKING OUT SO MUCH XDDD

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. .
17:03 Jan 14, 2021

THAT WOULD BE SOOOOOOOOOO CRAYZ!!!!!!!

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Maya -
13:09 Jan 14, 2021

Did you see Megan's bio??? 😭😭😭😭😭

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. .
13:13 Jan 14, 2021

NOOOOOOOOOO SO SADDDDDDDD

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Maya -
13:14 Jan 14, 2021

Help me upvote her!!!!!

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. .
13:15 Jan 14, 2021

I WILL TALK TO HERRRRRRRRRR

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Maya -
13:15 Jan 14, 2021

GOOOOOOD CONVINCE HER TO STAY!!!

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. .
13:17 Jan 14, 2021

YASSSS

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Maya -
04:33 Jan 14, 2021

New story! :D

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Mira Caplan
01:58 Jan 14, 2021

I SUBMITTED PART 13

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. .
12:45 Jan 14, 2021

YAYYYYYYYYY

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Danny -
01:39 Jan 14, 2021

Helllooooooo, thankss for the follow, I appreciate it :)))

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. .
12:58 Jan 14, 2021

Nooooooo problem!!

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Danny -
13:00 Jan 14, 2021

:DD

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. .
13:03 Jan 14, 2021

:DDD

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Maya -
23:31 Jan 13, 2021

Do you mind if I put trivia in my bio? I'll say it was your idea first. :)

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. .
23:38 Jan 13, 2021

YEah of course, but it was Jennie's idea first.

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Maya -
23:40 Jan 13, 2021

Okay :D When I update it you can guess :)

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. .
23:40 Jan 13, 2021

Ofc!!

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Maya -
23:52 Jan 13, 2021

I think this might be a downvoter account! https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/author/stop-upvoting/ Lol they spell marshmallow wrong :)

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23:58 Jan 13, 2021

I know I told Upvoter 20 min ago!!

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Sapphire 🌼
18:56 Jan 13, 2021

Are you prepared to experience another round of traumatizing drawings from me @2:30?

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18:57 Jan 13, 2021

YASSS

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Sapphire 🌼
18:59 Jan 13, 2021

Good but tbh, THE SAUSAGE ONE WAS KINDA OBVIOUS THAT WAS OBVIOUSLY A HOT DOG XDD

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19:01 Jan 13, 2021

:DDDDDDDD

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Sapphire 🌼
19:03 Jan 13, 2021

XDDD

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. .
19:04 Jan 13, 2021

:D

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Mira Caplan
16:51 Jan 13, 2021

"By January 1933 he was able to pass a full-length manuscript to his friend C.S. Lewis." .............. This is us

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16:52 Jan 13, 2021

XDDD YAS IT IS

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Mira Caplan
17:02 Jan 13, 2021

YEEEEEEEEES!!!

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Mira Caplan
17:02 Jan 13, 2021

YEEEEEEEEES!!!

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. .
17:02 Jan 13, 2021

YASSSSSSSSS

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Sapphire 🌼
16:38 Jan 13, 2021

Ugh this is getting wayyy to common. Amethyst keeps getting downvoted. whyyyyyyyy ughhhhhhhh WE NEED TO FIND THOSE DOWNVOTER ASAPPP

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. .
16:40 Jan 13, 2021

URGGGGGGG I'M OUT OF AMETHYST COMMENTS GO TELL UPVOTER AND HARI AND THE REST OF THE MALLOWS

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Sapphire 🌼
16:41 Jan 13, 2021

KK

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. .
16:41 Jan 13, 2021

WE WILL UPVOTEEEEE

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Sapphire 🌼
16:42 Jan 13, 2021

THE DOWNVOTERS WILL NOT PREVAILLL

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16:44 Jan 13, 2021

YASSSS

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Maya -
14:29 Jan 13, 2021

Hi :DDD

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14:29 Jan 13, 2021

Hiiiiiiiii

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Maya -
14:30 Jan 13, 2021

How's life?

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. .
14:30 Jan 13, 2021

Great!

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Maya -
14:31 Jan 13, 2021

Good!!! :)

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. .
14:31 Jan 13, 2021

Hbu?

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Mira Caplan
21:52 Jan 12, 2021

LUKE MY SISTER IS A FRIGGIN GENIUS SHE JUST THOUGHT OF THIS. OK. "What if there was an enemy that someone didn't know how to defeat. They could find the answer about how to defeat that enemy by giving up their wings." She originally said this with the Fae in mind, but I just thought about the dragons. What if the dragon's...master, or whatever, (Like the Eriene and Veradis relationship) could gain immense power and defeat a seemingly impossible to defeat enemy by sacrificing their dragon's wings? But it would only work if the dragon was ...

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21:53 Jan 12, 2021

That would be sooooooooooooooooooooooo cool!!!! YES IT IS EXACTLY LIKE MY SPRING OF LUOLAR THING!!!

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Mira Caplan
21:54 Jan 12, 2021

YEEEEEEEES!!! She's a legit genius, I swear

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Mira Caplan
21:54 Jan 12, 2021

YEEEEEEEES!!! She's a legit genius, I swear

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21:59 Jan 12, 2021

:DDDDDDDD

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Mira Caplan
21:34 Jan 12, 2021

The Mary Shelley question: Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus

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. .
21:35 Jan 12, 2021

Yeah, you got it!!!

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Mira Caplan
21:36 Jan 12, 2021

Does it kinda count if I looked it up? :)

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Mira Caplan
21:36 Jan 12, 2021

"Yes, because you had the sense to look it up." -sister

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21:37 Jan 12, 2021

Yeah, exactly!

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Mira Caplan
21:42 Jan 12, 2021

YAAAAAAAAAY

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Mira Caplan
21:42 Jan 12, 2021

YAAAAAAAAAY

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✨Abby ✨
21:27 Jan 12, 2021

I loved this, amazing job! also, do you mind if I add the link to your petition to my bio?

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. .
21:27 Jan 12, 2021

Ofc I don't mind!! It's Carolina's petition. Thanks, Abby!!

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✨Abby ✨
21:30 Jan 12, 2021

Okay, awesome!

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. .
21:31 Jan 12, 2021

Why are you looking for a more civil place?? What happened?

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✨Abby ✨
21:33 Jan 12, 2021

I suppose you're talking about my bio soooo basically I got downvoted over 2000 points in one night so I was super mad. Anyway, I don't really care about points anymore and I think I'm gonna stay. I forgot to remove that.

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. .
21:35 Jan 12, 2021

That's horrible!! I got 1800 lost in one night too.

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