The alarm of your iPhone rings. You grumble and moan, upset at the interruption of your lovely dream. It came as a result of watching the weather network right before bed, and now your head is filled with images of you running through a flowery meadow, dancing with the bumble bees. It had been a long winter, just two days ago it was -43 degrees. So when the forecast said it would be sunny and 60 degrees higher than it was a couple of days ago, you were ecstatic. Grabbing your sandals from their hiding place, you squeed to your parents that you were going to get ice cream after a long day of sweating, instead of shivering at school.
You walk over to the window, your mood quickly improving as you open the blinds to let the sun shine in. The bright sight shocks you. The wind howls. Snow covers every surface, undoubtedly without permission!
“Noooooo!” You cry, breaking into melodramatic sobs.
You drag yourself to the closet, pulling out your sweaters and jacket. Before stuffing your thick socks into your winter boots, you turn on the television to see what the weather people have to say about the latest developments. Instead of the apology you were expecting, they grin about how lovely today is going to be. Enraged, you shut it off and head to the bus stop.
All of the people getting onto the bus are dressed for vacation in Nigeria, despite the frosty weather. And they chuckle at you as if you’re the strange one. Sure, -15 is improvement from -40, but it sure isn’t balmy!
After receiving strangely amused looks from people the whole bus ride, you step off and all is explained. You step into a ridiculously deep puddle, the snow that was just coating everything half an hour ago has now melted and is soaking into your winter gear. It’s all cloudy and warm. After sloshing to school, you discard your soggy outer layers into the dryer at the teacher’s building.
On your way to your first class, a flying, flaming rock cuts in front of you.
“Eek!” You squeal and begin running as fast as your moist legs will carry you.
More fiery stones crash to the ground like bombs around you, and a stream of lava pursues. Thick smoke veils your eyes until you can’t see and ram into the wall of your school building.
“Where are your lava shoes?” A voice asks.
“You were prepared for this?” You cough in confusion, “What is this, did a volcano erupt?”
“Yes, how were you not prepared for this? Are you new? You must be new. Here, I have an extra pair.”
You cough and accept the shoes, cringing as fire tickles your toes.
“Hurry up now, streams of molten rock wait for nobody,” the person says.
After putting on the shoes, your feet feel a lot better so you begin to prance about in the heat. The only problem is you still can’t see and you ram into the school again. But the good news is, it’s the door and now you can get to class.
“Hello?” You call, “Is anyone here?”
“What on earth, child?” A teacher asks, “You’re late! I hope there’s a good reason for this.”
“Well,” you start, “I got caught in the flood and in the volcano eruption because the forecast said it was going to be sunny!”
“I said good reason! If I were late to work every time the weather didn’t go my way, I would just retire! Detention today, after school!” She walks off, muttering: “Kids, always exaggerating. That was hardly a puddle!”
You nod, utterly bamboozled and head to class. When you clomp in, the teacher gives you a repeat of what the teacher in the hall said before you sit down. Part way through class, you start to feel quite cozy and comfortable. You thought that you would be all wet because of the flood, but the run in with the lava warmed you up.
Just as you are starting to nod off, the bell rings, signifying that it’s time for the sleepy students to get up and head to the next building for their next class. On your way to social studies, you notice everyone grabbing boats from their lockers. Don’t they know the lava dried up the flood during first period? You think. Shrugging, you continue and make it halfway to class before water begins to pool around your lava shoes.
“Oh NO!” You yell, looking behind you.
A wave the size of Texas advances over the city, swallowing everything in its path. You begin to run, but your special shoes weigh you down. Soon the water sweeps around you and you wish you had a boat. You also wish you knew how to swim, but at least you’ve watched enough of the Olympics to improvise.
Unfortunately, your improvisation doesn’t work in ten foot waves, so you reach down deep inside to find the five year old who once won a breath-holding contest. That works for approximately twenty three point nine seconds before you feel the extreme urge to breathe again. Spots of grey waltz across your eyes as you get dragged out onto the street.
“Ya need some help, eh?” A lady calls to you as she rows down the street. She pulls you into her rowboat, which doesn’t stand out in the peaceful road. People must have actually been prepared for this tsunami- they’re rowing, skiing, motoring and swimming their way around the city.
After coughing up a small starfish, you thank the lady for her kindness.
“I- I,” You stutter, frustrated at the nonsense unfolding around, “When I looked outside this morning it- it was all cold.”
The lady laughs at your naivety, “Ya must be new here, eh? Well, the weather here is as flighty as a feather. Whatever they say on the forecast will be right for at least five minutes, ‘cause the conditions are always changing.”
You sigh as the boat bobs down the street and the city gets engulfed. The lady rows you back to school and drops you off in front of the social studies building.
Once more, the teacher is enraged at your absence and sentences you to detention after school. You start to wonder if you will even make it until then. But all is well, until you’re on your way to last period. You had been hitching rides off people’s boats all day, as the water level slowly went down. Now, you can walk through it, much like the flood this morning.
Suddenly, you hear a rumbling behind you and groan. Before you have time to think, the ground begins to shake and break apart. You can’t help but notice that for some reason, through all of this, the buildings have kept intact. But yet again, you don’t have time to think about this, because the ground quivers and opens up right underneath you.
“Hey you!” The same voice from the volcano eruption this morning calls, “I don’t suppose you have spring shoes either?”
Spring shoes? You wonder, It’s February. “No!” You answer.
BOING, the person bounces down to where you are. Sighing, they pick you up and bounce you to class. Ohh, that kind of spring! You realize. You say thank you to the person, but they don’t hear over the sound of the teacher’s scolding. Tardy once more, you have a final confirmation of your detention after school.
After class, you go to detention and polish all the school’s light bulbs. When you finish and begin walking home, it’s sunny and 17 degrees.