Today’s the day I change. I have spent years just thinking about myself and no one else. It has been all about me. Who cares about everyone around me? I ignored my family. I ignored my friends, the few I had, and anyone else close to my bubble. My selfishness has caused many to turn their backs on me and walk away.
“That ends today,” I say. “I have lost many but now it is time to reverse course.”
An unusual event took place that has made me take a close look at my life. An event where I have decided to give instead of take. Many will say it is a lost cause, but I say otherwise. There are always opportunities to make things right even after it is dead and buried. I have witnessed it and see it is a way to redeem myself. If I do not, then I will become the ones I now go to help. I cannot let that happen. It will not happen.
When I got up this morning, I saw it was going to be a beautiful day. Very few clouds in the sky so I can perform what is a necessity.
“Does it even matter what kind of day it will be for the ones I’m about to help?” I pondered. “Probably not.”
When the days come that rain or snow come to where I live, I will continue to help. To use my talent instead of keeping it to myself.
As I got myself ready, thoughts of my transformation erupted forth. It was like a door bursting open. I could now see the full, magnificent picture instead of parts of it. The reason I was always disgusted with life. I was only seeing pieces of it and never grasping the true beauty of everything around me. To be so self-absorbed that I missed everything. To blame my misery on everything and everyone around me when it all lay within me. I made my bed and lay in the filth as I contemplated the lies; I let fester in my mind. The lies I put there, and the ones others helped place there since there are so many just like me. We love to feed off each other to create one miserable family of negative vibes.
As I eat my breakfast, I am so glad I understand the way of life so clear now. So many wrong paths I took until I found the right one. How close was I to going over the cliff to never return to the living? To let those dead, icy hands grab hold of me and drag me to the pits of hell.
“How many times did I fall into the same hole over and over?” I ask myself. “How many times did I blame others for pushing me in the hole when, in fact, it is me willingly jumping into the pit over and over? Then cursing all for my predicament. I was such a fool.”
I finish my tasks before I decide it is time to go and start helping ones that many have given up on or not realizing they are still in need.
I chuckle as I can hear what people will say if I explain what I do. I have already heard words: crazy, nonsense, lost cause, ridiculous, waste of time. Words I once used recently for everything to explain life. I now refuse to listen to the hype. They are wrong and if they opened their eyes, they would realize it.
Once I knew everything was in order, I grabbed my paper bag, which contains my lunch and a rose, and my flask of water. I go to the front door and grab my last item, which is my guitar.
“I definitely need you to give my gift to the ones I’m about to see,” I mutter.
Out the door I go, down the walkway, and soon making my journey to my destination by foot. Always refreshing not only for the body but also for the soul.
To make it to my destination, I must go across the middle of town. This is where I see others and distinguish the ones that I was once like, the ones who are heading in the right direction, and the ones that I should have always been like. It does not matter what path any of them are going on. I greet them warmly, not like the days of the past where I ignored all, and just gave a grunt too many.
“Today, I’m fully transforming into the person I need to be,” I think as I walk.
It took steps for me to become the one I am today. This was not an overnight change. In fact, it felt like it fell on my lap when the event took place where I am going now. Then an eruption of me thinking of another, and it blossomed from there. Little by little, I helped others. Just today I am greeting all I encounter. Even calling to one across the street in greeting. Today is my full transformation.
“This is crazy,” I say. “But I love it.”
Soon I arrive at my destination. I enter through the large gate and beeline to my first spot.
“Hello mother,” I say. “This is where my transformation began. I thank you for being the one to bring me out of my life of despair. You are the one who always believed in me, and always believed I would change my ways, even though I would scoff at you. I love you and miss you.”
Out of my paper bag, I took out a rose and placed it on her gravestone.
“Now I need to help others that truly need just a moment of peace,” I say. “You have eternity.”
I start my walk among the graveyard until I find the first one. A young woman gone too early. Now, as I stand here, I can hear the whimpers. The agony coming forth.
“Time to bring you some comfort,” I say.
I sit down by the gravestone and begin my soothing song. It does not take long for the cries of pain to stop. To just take minutes to help the ones who never found the right path.
Soon done with my song, I stood up, not hearing anything. I pray the song stays with this soul.
“But I will be back to take care of you.”
I move on and on, singing too many lost souls.
Today I fully use my gift. Today I change fully. Instead of taking, I now give, and those years of ice have melted into a glowing smile.