Contest #237 shortlist ⭐️

For the Last Time

Submitted into Contest #237 in response to: Write a story about a first or last kiss.... view prompt

48 comments

Fiction Sad

Tuesday afternoon, she turns the key in the lock and opens the door. As she shrugs out of her coat, she shivers and adjusts the thermostat. Carrying the shopping bag through to the kitchen, she fills the kettle and sets it on the flame. She rinses the teapot with warm water and carefully measures the leaves. With a sigh, she pulls the tray from its storage space next to the fridge and sets out two cups and saucers. She cuts up a lemon and pours a little cream in the pitcher. She unwraps the raspberry tarts, his favorite.


Just as the water comes to a boil, she hears the front door open.


"In the kitchen, dear. I'll be right there."


After setting the tray on the low table, she bends over the club chair to give him a kiss. His face is warm, his scent so unique, so delicious. He smiles and pulls her into his lap. "How's my girl?" But as usual he doesn't wait for an answer before he kisses her. Gentle little nibbles at each corner. Tasting and tugging on a lip. Tongues touching. En garde! The game begins with parries and thrusts, advances and retreats. His hands over her back, touching under her sweater. The warmth of his palm against her skin gives her that delightful shudder. She tugs on the buttons of his shirt, lets her nails rake through the dark curls on his chest and play with the short hairs at the nape of his neck.


"Upstairs, please." He moans in her ear.


She takes his hand as they climb the stairs.


They know where to touch. How to excite. When to pause. What pleases them both. "Now, please." "Yes." The dance is old, yet new and always unique. Their pace varies, now frantic, then slow and lazy. They pause to store the memory. They smile to share their affection. They kiss to remember. So special, so lovely.


They caress, touch, hold and doze. He stirs and rises. Silently she watches as he dresses. He sits on the edge of the bed, gathers her to him and kisses her, deeply, possessively, tenderly. For one lingering moment he hesitates and looks pained just as he pulls away. "Be happy." he whispers. She nods, not trusting her voice. Then he turns, pauses at the door and smiles over his shoulder, before he hurries down the stairs.


The front door opens and slams shut.


After a while, she rises, dresses and goes downstairs to empty and rinse the teapot, clean the cream pitcher and shelve the unused teacups. She starts to rewrap the raspberry tarts, but sits at the table and eats both, ignoring the tears that burn behind her eyes.


*****

It had been a Tuesday, around three o'clock. She had the whole afternoon ahead of her. Her husband and daughter had looked at her as if she was speaking in tongues when she announced that she would be taking Tuesday afternoons off. "I will go into the city, do something I want to do, on my own and I'll be back after supper."


The time for herself had been exactly what she had hoped it would be. She had felt free with no one to look after but herself. Cleansing her thoughts, renewing her spirit, so that she could love and care for her family the way she wanted. For the past several weeks, she had visited museums, a matinee, art galleries, bookstores and seen a movie when it rained. Every Tuesday, she'd buy a newspaper and stop at the little coffee shop to look at her choices and plan her day.


"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" She looked up. He was about her age, a hint of grey in his dark hair. Brown eyes. A questioning half smile. A quick look around, told her that the small shop had filled up. She blushed, gathered her coat and purse.


"I'm sorry. No, please sit."


"Thank you." He unbuttoned his jacket before sitting down. With a nod at her paper, he asked. "Looking for something to do?"


"Yes," She nodded. "I have a few hours before I go home."


"You don't live in the city." He concluded.


They chatted, she ordered another coffee, he a tea. They talked about the movie she had seen last week. He recommended another one she might enjoy the next time it rained. She enthused over the art gallery she had visited a few weeks ago. He gave her the address of another one she'd like. They talked about books. He told her about a reading and signing by one of her favorite authors. "It's next Tuesday. I could take you, if you like."


When they parted, they promised to meet again at the coffee shop next week. Week after week, they met there and made plans for the afternoon. He introduced her to a side of the city she would never have found on her own. Out of the way art studios, poetry readings in dim coffee shops, smokey jazz clubs, tiny ethnic restaurants offering delicious home cooked meals


She looked forward to Tuesday, even though it was no longer just her time. Now it was their time. His hand would rest on the small of her back as he'd hold a door open for her. Her hand would slide under his elbow as they walked down the street. His arm would wrap around her shoulder, pulling her close under the umbrella. They'd hold hands, fingers laced as they strolled through a park. The peck on the cheek as he left her at the train station, became a quick kiss on her lips, then more lingering, deeper, hands roaming freer, more intimately.


"I wish ..." He'd murmur against her lips. "Yes..." She'd sigh.


And then, one beautiful May afternoon, a hotel room. Shy and awkward at first. Then bolder and finally feeling free, daring they explored, learned what they liked, what they needed. Experimented with how to touch, where to touch. They laughed and giggled together. Embraced and caressed whispering sweet nothings.


Three months ago, he'd said, "Come. I want to show you something." He'd brought her here. To the small rowhouse, away, far away from downtown. "It belongs to a friend of mine. He's out of the country for a year. Said I could use it. What do you think?" He looked excited, hopeful.


Yes, they felt freer here. There were no all-knowing, judging desk clerks. Quickly, they had settled into a routine. But they had not visited a museum, eaten in a fun little restaurant, seen a movie or browsed in a bookstore in months. Here she made tea since he didn't like coffee, even though she didn't care for tea. Here she stayed to clean up.


A soft, self-mocking scoff.


She had told him that once again, she had lost herself. That once again, she had allowed herself to set aside her wants. That she had forgotten she needed time for herself. Needed time without deferring to someone else. Time to cleanse her thoughts. Time to renew herself.


That she had simply substituted one suburb for another.


She gathers the trash in her shopping bag and slips into her coat. She steps outside and locks the door behind her. A brief hesitation before she slips the key in an envelope and pushes it through the mail slot. With a sigh she lets go.


For the last time she walks to the corner and hails a cab.


February 09, 2024 20:46

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48 comments

Yuliya Borodina
10:59 Feb 17, 2024

I like how even the sentences seem to settle into a particular rhythm: a rigid structure to describe the life of routine, and more tentative shorter phrases for the exciting moments. I only wish the story ended on one of the latter parts! :)

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Trudy Jas
11:06 Feb 17, 2024

Thank you Yuliya. Ah, so you approve of adultery and leaving hubby and daughter? Just kidding. Saying good bye is never pleasant, evenif it is for the best.

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Yuliya Borodina
11:17 Feb 17, 2024

Haha, I approve of being happy. I wish the character could find another way to change her life for the better :)

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Harry Stuart
19:08 Mar 21, 2024

Talk about a closet romantic! 😊 This story is amazing on many levels, Trudy! It is written with a poignant depth, and you capture the sensuality perfectly, as it moves and lingers between the two lovers. It is all exquisitely laid out -- the structure, word flow, and how you artfully craft her rebirth. The reader cheers her on as she accepts and fully comes into herself. Very well-deserved shortlist!

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Trudy Jas
19:12 Mar 21, 2024

Thank you, Harry. That one is close to my heart. btw. I never denied being a romantic. :-)

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Harry Stuart
19:17 Mar 21, 2024

Touché! 😊

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Trudy Jas
19:33 Mar 21, 2024

:-) Since you're reading, may I be cheeky and ask your opinion on the recent ones - the ones for the coming week?

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Harry Stuart
19:37 Mar 21, 2024

Of course! Already planning on it. I won't be able to give them my undivided attention until later, but expect feedback soon! I like it when you're cheeky, Trudy.

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07:07 Mar 09, 2024

Congratulations on the shortlist. All the scenes are well crafted with the fineness. Wow! So cleverly, you highlighted(once again, in the last 4th paragraph) the self centered state(comfort zone) of hers. She had told him that once again, she had lost herself.............. Time to renew herself. Thanks for sharing.

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Trudy Jas
07:21 Mar 09, 2024

Thank you and thank you reading my story. I love your comments.

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Ana M
21:19 Mar 01, 2024

I enjoyed every sentence from beginning to end. Excellently written!

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Trudy Jas
00:07 Mar 02, 2024

Aw, gee! Thank you, Ana. Your comments made me feel good.

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Daniel R. Hayes
06:53 Feb 29, 2024

Wow! This was truly an amazing story, Trudy. You did a fantastic job writing this and I was captivated by your wonderful writing style. I'm so glad that this was shortlisted because it really is a great story. Well done! I see a lot of winning stories in your future!

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Trudy Jas
11:25 Feb 29, 2024

Thank you for the wonderful feedback. Let's hope your crystal ball is right. :-)

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Story Time
06:32 Feb 28, 2024

The story had a classical feeling to it that reminded me of some of the great Russians authors. You have a real command of language that's thrilling to read.

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Trudy Jas
11:30 Feb 28, 2024

Wow! Thank you. That is high praise indeed. To be compared with "great Russian authors" is more than I had ever thought. Especially, knowing the English is not mu 1st language. Thank you for your kind review (and reading my story)

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Doug Coates
12:52 Feb 25, 2024

Enjoyed all the sensory words used - you could see and feel everything she described. Exciting for both, but you want her to rekindle those feelings with her husband. Congrats on the short list.

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Trudy Jas
13:25 Feb 25, 2024

Thank you, Doug. I was thrilled to get the 'shortlist'. And you're right, of course. Which is why she slipped the key through the mail slot, right?

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J. D. Lair
20:24 Feb 24, 2024

Congrats on the shortlist Trudy! 🤗

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Trudy Jas
22:05 Feb 24, 2024

Thank you, JD. Utterly surprised and thrilled. Feel as if i won an oscar (almost) :-)

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04:58 Feb 24, 2024

Isn't it interesting how we somehow seem to find someone else whenever we try to find ourselves? Perhaps it's because we're raised to believe we're always supposed to have someone else to be whole. We need that true love, that best friend, that gaggle of children. So even when we purposely set out to cater to ourselves, we often feel more fulfillment and excitement when we make a connection to someone else. It's kismet. It's new, fun, and invigorating. Maybe finding ourselves is as simple as not feeling trapped by routine. Maybe it's being c...

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Trudy Jas
06:17 Feb 24, 2024

LeeAnn, that is so insightful. Yes, we do need the forbidden fruit, now and then. Sensing that excitement, that feeling that someone else (also) thinks we're worthwhile. But in the long run it's not sustainable to "give up coffee for tea." Maybe, hopefully, she'll ask her husband to join her at those fun little places and have a thorough flirt and snog. :-) Thanks for reading my story.

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Hannah Lynn
23:44 Feb 23, 2024

Yay!!!! Congrats on the shortlist!!! Whooo hooo I’m so happy for you!

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Trudy Jas
00:07 Feb 24, 2024

Thank you, sounds like you are almost as happy as I am. LOL

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Jonathan Page
23:12 Feb 23, 2024

Great story, Trudy! Loved the descriptions in the section that started: "Gentle little nibbles at each corner..." You had me surprised about the ending as I didn't see the story going there. Great use of tense! Congrats on the win!! Well-deserved and impeccable writing! I liked Mary's comment about Afternoon Delight, lol. Great job!

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Trudy Jas
23:22 Feb 23, 2024

Thanks Jonathan. I can't stop grinning. Yeah, there is a lot to be said for afternoon delights. Thanks for the wonderful feedback.

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Eliza Levin
19:03 Feb 23, 2024

This is so beautifully written! You've revealed so much about this character and her life in such a small number of words.

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Trudy Jas
21:27 Feb 23, 2024

Thank you, Eliza. I'm so glad you liked it. I'm over the moon with the "shortlist".

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M.R. Simon
18:52 Feb 23, 2024

Bravo !! Well written and so real. Keep up the good work !!

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Trudy Jas
21:25 Feb 23, 2024

Yeah, thank you!

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Ty Warmbrodt
17:25 Feb 23, 2024

Congratulations on your shortlist!

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Trudy Jas
17:31 Feb 23, 2024

Yeah!!!! I'm so stoked. My first one - fingers crossed it's not the last one. It's a little early for wine - nah! :-)

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Ty Warmbrodt
17:39 Feb 23, 2024

nah :-)

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Karen Hope
23:10 Feb 19, 2024

Your stories are so beautifully plotted and written. I love the symbolism of her making and drinking tea - something she didn't even like. The line: "That she had simply substituted one suburb for another" sums up what this exciting new romance had become. I'm glad she decided to leave him. Terrific!

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Trudy Jas
03:19 Feb 20, 2024

Thank you, Karen. I admit, that was my favorite line too. Sometimes those little gems just sort of wiggle themselves in there.

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20:48 Feb 17, 2024

Another beautifully written story, Trudy! It leaves the reader with much to ponder about.

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Trudy Jas
21:34 Feb 17, 2024

Thanks Melissa. It's easy to take a bite of forbidden fruit. But sooner of later we have to fish or cut bait.

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Michał Przywara
02:34 Feb 15, 2024

A well written story, to be sure, and a tricky situation. She's trapped between two men she loves - and trapped is the right term, because she wanted time to herself. But, I wonder. “She had told him that once again, she had lost herself. That once again, she had allowed herself to set aside her wants. That she had forgotten she needed time for herself. Needed time without deferring to someone else. Time to cleanse her thoughts. Time to renew herself.” Is any of that really true? It could be, but she also could have stopped the relationsh...

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Trudy Jas
02:48 Feb 15, 2024

Thanks, Michal. I love your insights. So true. Maybe she did want that time for herself, or maybe a break from the suburb. Maybe enjoyed the flattery, the attention she wasn't getting at home. Maybe it had run its course and she was ready to go back to her "real" life. Though I didn't see her as trapped, swept up, possibly. "Date night" with hubby would have been simpler, though less spicy. ;-)

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Michał Przywara
21:47 Feb 23, 2024

Congratulations on the shortlist!

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Trudy Jas
22:06 Feb 23, 2024

I can't stop grinning! Thank you, Michal.

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John Rutherford
10:33 Feb 12, 2024

The irony! Good story.

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Alexis Araneta
14:34 Feb 10, 2024

Oooh, very beautifully woven story here. It reminds me of countless songs where basically, the persona choses their committed relationship over another person they love. Poignant storytelling. Great job!

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Trudy Jas
14:38 Feb 10, 2024

Thank you, Stella. I agree. And in the end she chose herself, didn't she?

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Alexis Araneta
14:44 Feb 10, 2024

Exactly that. Great job!

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Mary Bendickson
21:14 Feb 09, 2024

Glad this made the shortlist. Congrats!🎉 Afternoon delight.

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Trudy Jas
21:22 Feb 09, 2024

Hah. And yet, all good things have to come to an end. Boo hoo.

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Trudy Jas
00:18 Feb 24, 2024

Thank you. I'm thrilled.

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