Hold my hand

It was so odd, who asks someone to meet them at the graveyard. That too at night and when it's no moons day. No moons day is a bad day.

Roxanne was a confused and weird personality, but she was weird in a unique way. Nerds are supposed to be ugly or below average in looks. But she was hot, hot not like a typical hot but she was attractive. She was a 5'2 brown girl, had raven black hair and a nice set of boobs. And you must be asking how would I know that?

Because I'm a boob expert. I would typically tell a girl's personality by looking at her boobs. And I never turned out to be wrong in it.

I had read in a sex life blog that there are 9 types of boobs. And she had the peach one. Medium, round, and bumpy.

And if you would dissect her body part and try to rate her body features. You will find everything about her is average. Her eyes are of medium size, her butt is average, her lips, nose, hand all are average. But if you put it all together, she is a masterpiece. She's so attractive like her aura is emitting universal cosmic waves.

But her weirdness is like extra salt in curry. You can't have it nor can you adulterate it. At last, you have to throw it in the end.

All the boys of our batch used to fantasize about her. And even she was easy at the beginning, she would mingle easily, she would give out her phone number easily.

In the beginning, everything would be cordial. But as soon as you go out with her on dates or movies, you would see her real side. You would understand how deep the water is running. She would start picking up fights, she would be mean, she would get irritated easily. And eventually, the boy would run away from her within 2 days.

God, I have to spend the night with her. The weather is so chilly, that I can hear the wind howling. And from a distance, I hear "position" by Ariana Grande. With each moment, the volume of the song intensifies. It's actually blaring from Roxanne's car.

She parks her car right in front of the graveyard and literally hops from the driver's seat. I rush towards her, to help her unload the telescope. We were going to stargaze in a graveyard.

She arranges her telescope beside Mr. Collin's coffin, she is indeed fearless. Then she picks out a maroon color picnic mat and spreads it on the ground. And says "Come sit down, at least it requires 2 hours for the star to align themselves". I go and sit next to her.

The wind is sour and now it's filled with the awkwardness between us.

I wouldn't be in this situation if I hadn't broken her telescope lens accidentally. Then I wouldn't be in detention and I wouldn't receive punishment to be her, so-called intern. She breaks the silence

"Don't worry today is your last day of internship"

I nod with a grin.

"So what are you going to see today?" I asked

"Some planets, some stars"

"Hey, why don't we watch Venus, I have heard it's beautiful.''

"I don't like watching Venus, actually I hate Venus"

I asked, "Why what's wrong with it?."

"Actually I have made a promise to myself, that I will only see Venus if I get into a committed relationship."

And she blushed like a rose.

The awkwardness combined with silence once again knocks back into our conversation.

"You know what you can go," she says turning her head towards me.

I ask "Where"?

"To Sasha's party, you are missing your girlfriend's party."

"She dumped me" why I'm saying that to her?

"I'm so sorry..." I cut her in mid-sentence

"Don't give me your sympathy, today I wouldn't be in heartbreak if you wouldn't start a fight on our first date."

"Please don't dig it again Aryaman"

I say " I have to because at the start I felt that we had something between us. But then on our first date, you were screaming at me for wearing strong perfume."

"Why Sasha dumped you?" as usual she's changing the topic.

"Because she was cheating with me" I turn my face to see her reaction. She had a smile in her eyes.

"But why would she dump you If she was cheating on you, shouldn't be it the other way round."

"But it didn't happen like that," I said

"You know what, dark chocolate would help you with your heartbreak," and shoves a bar into my hands.

I take a bite, and I feel my emotions swirling up.

"Actually I already knew that she was having an affair with a senior. Then guilt overtook Sasha and she confronted me, but I didn't want a breakup, so I told her that I would be okay with a polygamous relationship. Eventually, she got tired from it all this bullshit, and she dumped me today"

Once again the silence overpowers us.

"Actually I liked your perfume, it reminded me of dad. My dad used to drown himself with perfume on the marriage anniversary. And after my parent's divorce, everything changed, there was no longer perfume of my dad in our home. I craved relationships but if someone would make me promises, or pamper me with things. Sudden anxiety would dawn upon me. That will this relationship will last forever? Will I be a good partner? I would get scared of the future and act all wrong. Sometimes intentionally sometimes without intentions''.

Her doe-like eyes were filled with tears. And inside me, my emotions were on edge. All of my emotions were swirling inside me.

Now I sensel the warmth in our environment, her gem-like eyes have miraculous sparks. Sparks that tell me that I'm safe, and I will be understood without getting judged. That it's not my fault at all.

Is she the one, that I have been waiting for?

I never felt so protected, right now my emotions are swirling. It's telling me to not be vulnerable this time.

It's high time, that I should reveal the real me.

I uttered "I was molested when I was 12"

"Aryaman what did you say" I heard the concern in her voice.

"I was alone in our apartment and, mom had left for work. As usual Aunt Helen would come to babysit me. But that day wasn't right for anyone. She was drunk, probably stoned. And the first thing she could do was, drag me into our apartment's bedroom. After what she had done I was devastated. I was shocked, my lips were swollen, on my right side of my lip, I was gushing blood. You don't want your first kiss to be like that''.

My mind was getting fogged, my eyes had tears in them. I was feeling that my body would go into a paralysis attack. I gathered my courage and somehow continued,

"That's why I'm afraid to be alone. I want constantly company, otherwise I get flashbacks of the entire incident".

She held my hands, entangled her fingers with mine, and kissed my knuckles.

I could sense trust in our grip, I could see comfort and love in her eyes.

She said, "I'm so sorry Aryaman."

"Even I'm sorry Roxanne, I should have tried to understand you."

Everything was engrossed in silence now, but now the silence had the scent of happiness. The scent of trust, friendship, and love.

"I think Venus would be a good choice to watch. What do you say"?.

She blushed deep red and said, "Yes, I would love to."