When We Get to the City

I could feel my skin burning, but it felt so good. My eyes seared. Aggie looked ridiculous. She was wearing her wide straw hat and a shawl was wrapped around her head and face. Her eyes were hidden by her darkened spectacles.

‘Bobby, you’re burning.’

I danced away from her, spinning in the sand, relishing the glorious burn of the sun on my skin.

‘Aggie, the air,’ I said, ‘isn’t it the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted?’ I took a comically big gulp of air, as if I had filled my cheeks with something delicious.

She inched towards me.

‘What’s wrong?’

She thrust a hat onto my head.

‘How do we know if the air is good yet?’

‘What are you talking about, Baggy? Five years, that’s what they said. Five years and it’d be over and we’d be safe to come out.’

She didn’t say anything.

‘Besides, I’d rather die than spend another hour in the Hole.’

‘Bobby, you shouldn’t say such things. We were lucky to have somewhere safe to go. If Papa hadn’t-‘ She shut her mouth. ‘Come on,’ she said, ‘we’ve got ten miles to cover before dark.’

I looked back at the small stone building. I stuck my tongue out and gave it the ‘V’ sign.

‘Bobby, stop being silly.’

‘Come on Baggy Aggie, you can’t say you’re not glad to turn your back on it.’

‘I don’t know. It feels peculiar to be leaving.’

‘That’s because you were so little when we went in. You don’t remember what it was like before. I used to go to school on the back of a camel. I hope there are still camels in the city.’

‘I’m only two years younger than you, Bobby. I remember the camels.’

‘Yes, but you weren’t allowed to ride one by yourself.’

I looked back. The bunker had already disappeared into the hazy desert air. There was a feeling in my stomach, unsettled, like I’d eaten something rotten.

We didn’t have much food with us, only some Kendall mint cake. Aggie wanted to bring more, but I argued that we needed to bring water. So she’d cooked us too much soup for breakfast, and made sure every last mouthful was eaten.

‘I wonder what food they’ll have at Bawtry.’

‘Much the same as we've had, Bobby, if not worse. Soldier’s rations are horrible, remember? Perhaps they’ll give you a cigarette though, like they did last time. You looked like you were going to be sick!’

‘How would you remember that? You were so little.’

‘Mother told me.’

‘Well anyway, we’ll only be at Bawtry for a night, two nights at most. They’ll drive us, once they find out whose children we are. Then, when we get to the city, we can have whatever we’d like. I’m going to have lamb stew. And sticky toffee pudding. And port.’

‘They won’t let you have any port.’

‘They will. They’ll let us have anything we ask for.’

Aggie looked at me. I couldn’t see her eyes, but I knew she was rolling them.

‘Well, what will you have then?’

She didn’t answer.

‘Come on. If you could have anything?’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘if I could have anything… I’d have a banana split.’

‘With cream?’

‘Of course, with cream. And sugared cherries and chocolate sauce.

‘And marshmallows.’

She was laughing. ‘And - strawberries!’

‘And tinned peaches!’

‘No, I shan’t eat anything tinned- not ever again!’

We laughed and she tucked her arm around me. ‘Oh Bobby, wouldn’t it be wonderful?’

I gave her shoulder a squeeze. ‘It will be wonderful, Baggy.’

We walked on in silence and I began to wish I’d heeded Aggie’s nagging. I was covered up now, but could feel the sting of my shirt rubbing against my skin. I wanted to stop for a break and some water, but Aggie insisted we keep going, so I sipped from my flask and nibbled on some mint cake.

We were surrounded by orange-gold sand. When Aggie spoke it sounded peculiar, like she was in a box, like we were still buried beneath the earth. I was beginning to get a headache.

I could hear the blood in my head. It matched the rhythm of my feet on the sand.

‘Bobby, are you even listening?’

‘Huh?’ I said. ‘What, yes, I was listening.’

‘You weren’t listening. What’s wrong? You look pale.’

‘Just a little hot.’

‘Well, if you’d been listening to me, you’d know that Bawtry should be just over the next dune.’

Aggie was smiling as we mounted the dune.

The fence topped with barbed wire rose into view, then the heavy steel gates and the huge armoured trucks. The compound ahead was silent. Nothing moved. No voices, no practice gunfire, not even the low buzz of the electric fence.

‘Come on, Aggie,’ I began to list every reason I could think of that might explain Bawtry’s desertion: desert dogs, supply runs, a call to arms in the city. I guided her into the shade of one of the armoured trucks.

Every surface was covered in a thick layer of sand. I heard a yelp behind me.

‘Aggie? What is it?’

She pointed at the truck. I hoisted myself up and peered in. At first it just looked like a pile of ragged clothes, but then I saw the face, slumped against the tank’s control board, leathery and sinewy and perfectly preserved.

‘Oh Aggie,’ I jumped down and put my arm around her.

‘It’s OK. Whatever it is, it’s over. I’m sure we’ll be able to find some food and we can sleep here and then-‘

‘And then what, Bobby?’ She looked very, very small.

‘And then I’ll find a radio, or a map. You’re so good at orienteering; you can get us to the city.’

She set her jaw and stood up.

‘It’s all right. If they were trying to leave, they’re probably all in the tanks.’

I was right. There was no one; not even in the bunkers. We found a few tins of beans and stale biscuits, tea bags, milk powder and dried meat. The taps still ran, but the water had been standing in the tanks for a long time. We’d have to boil it.

‘At least we can have a cup of tea,’ I said, ‘I still can’t believe you made us leave ours behind.’

‘I knew we’d be able to have as many cups as we’d like once we got here,’ Aggie said.

‘Well, you were right about that at least. There must be a hundred tea bags in there. Not even Grandfather could drink that much.’

‘There’s no electricity,’ I said, ‘So we’ll make a fire in one of the dorm rooms and sleep there.’

In the end, we used chairs that I broke into pieces, and old mildewed blankets and the innards of pillows. I put my arm around Aggie, like when we were little.

‘I wish I had Beaty,’ she said. I sprang up, rummaged in the bag and produced a threadbare toy elephant. ‘Here,’ I said pushing it into her arms.

‘I said to pack only necessities, Bobby.’

'Beaty is a necessity. Leaving him was worse than leaving the tea bags.’

She took the elephant from me and clutched it to her, breathing its musky smell. We lay in silence, listening to the crackling of the fire. I thought Aggie had fallen asleep, but she stirred and said something. She said it so quietly that I wasn’t sure it was even words.

‘What is it, Aggie?’

She spoke again, a little louder. ‘Do you think they’re still alive?’

‘Who? Father and Grandfather?’

‘No,’ she whispered, ‘anyone.’

‘Of course they are, Bagg. You’re just thinking silly things because it’s dark. You were always scared of the dark when you were little. Do you remember the song I used to sing to you?’

‘Yes,’ she sniffed.

‘Well why don’t we sing it? I can’t sleep either.’

‘I can’t remember it.’

‘You just said that you could. I’ll get you started.’

Porter Percy came and went,

Left his wares upon the sand-

She began to join in quietly.

And when the soldier came to look

It blew off both his hands.

BOOM! BOOM!

Rascal Porter Percy.

Butcher Bertie made a dish,

From the finest cuts of meat,

And when the soldier came to eat,

It blew off both his feet.

BOOM BOOM!

Rascal Butcher Bertie.

We sang all of the verses, and Aggie’s voice started getting fainter. I carried on singing, lowering my voice until she fell silent. The air was getting colder. The leathery face in the tank, the desolate compound kept flashing in my head, but I kept singing, repeating the verses over and over until the song bled into my imagination and faded into dreams. I woke up to a terrible churning in my gut. I thought about the Hole and imagined I was still there. In the mornings, I liked to wind up the record player, listen to brass band music and draw, while Aggie wrote in her diary and made breakfast. I opened my eyes, to see her crouched over the fire, heating up a tin of beans. I saw she had tucked Beaty into the collar of her blouse.

I found a room with a map of the area, including the city, spread out on the surface of a table. We sat close together under a blanket and ate the beans in silence, before spreading the map out and planning our route to the city.

‘If we walk swiftly, it should take us no more than five days,’ Aggie said. ‘We’ll have to stock up on water, so we’ll have a lot to carry. You’re a little burnt. You’ll have to cover up this time and wear your hat.’

I smiled at her. ‘OK, Baggy.’ She rolled her eyes.

We spent the morning boiling water and filling whatever sealed canisters we could find. Our bags packed, we set out, Aggie gripping the map and compass. She looked straight down at the map, not lifting her head until we were away from the tanks.

When I tried to talk, Aggie stopped me.

‘You should conserve your energy.' She sounded like Mother.

‘Don’t be silly, Aggie,’ I said, ‘Talking doesn’t-’

I stopped. We had walked up a gentle rise in the sand and reached the top. We both stared out over an expanse of golden nothingness that stretched achingly towards the horizon. I felt dizzy. Aggie took the tiniest step back, her knuckles white on the compass.

‘Come on,’ I said, marching forward, ‘we’ll play a game.’ Aggy hesitated.

‘What game?’

‘It’s called ‘When we get to the City’. I say something we’ll do in the city that begins with the letter ‘A’, then you have to repeat what I said, and add something that begins with the letter ‘B’, and so on. OK?’

‘OK.’

‘when we get to the city, we’ll go in an Airplane.’

Aggy giggled. 'When we get to the city, we’ll go in airplane and…’

‘Go on, think of something.’

‘We’ll wash Beaty.’

I laughed. ‘He could certainly do with it.’

We played several rounds of our game as we walked, but the desert air made our throats dry and sore and we fell silent. I began to play the game in my head.

When we get to the city, I’ll eat apple crumble. When we get to the city, I’ll play Battleships…

The sun was high. Looking down at my feet, it felt like they were dancing towards me and I couldn’t feel the ground anymore.

When we get to the city, camels.

when we get to the city, doughnuts. when we get to the city, elephants. when we get to the city, Father. when we get to the city, girls.

Aggie said something.

‘What?’

‘I don’t feel very well, Bobby.’

‘It’s just the heat, Baggy,’ I said, ‘we’ll stop for some water soon, but we must keep moving.’

when we get to the city, hot dogs. when we get to the city, ice cream.

when we get to the city.

when we get to the city.

when we get to the city.