Cora's old life (part 3 of Otherworldly repairs)

Submitted into Contest #84 in response to: Start your story with a character struggling to remember the date, because every day is like the last one.... view prompt

489 comments

Fantasy Science Fiction Teens & Young Adult

How long has it been? How long has it been since that day happened? It almost feels like it just happened yesterday, but I know it didn't. All of that had to have happened a long time ago, but when?

Does he even remember me? Would he even want to remember me? He got me out of his life, just like how everyone else did...I bet he wanted to do it from the very beginning.

He should have done it from the very beginning...I'd rather not remember anything. Why do I even have to be here? I'd rather be somewhere else, I don't care if the place is dangerous or not.

I could at least try to forget though, at least for a while. Maybe I could go and...eat food! Yeah, that sounds like a good idea for right now, I don't think I've eaten today.

Wait...No, I think I did eat something earlier. Or was that yesterday? Maybe I didn't eat anything yesterday either...ugh, I'll just try to find something today, just in case. That sounds like a plan.

After searching around for what to seemed to be like three hours, which honestly it could have been. I finally managed to find food on a half-broken table nearby. I'm not sure exactly what that is, but I'm sure it's at least edible.

I know that the food here on this planet can be quite weird most of the time, but at least it's something. Now just go on and take it, you idiot! Before someone comes and steals it. Maybe it'll taste like Pizza...

I managed to snatch up the food off of the table, which then gave up on its life and collapsed on the hard ground below it. I'm not gonna try and fix that thing...why would I? Though at least getting the food was easy.

"Hey, you! What do you think you're doing with that?!" A male alien shouted from nearby, as he then began to approach me. Oh...Oh, I spoke way too soon! He's so tall...

He towered over me and he could probably squash me like a bug, at least if he wanted to. Please don't think about doing that...maybe he's actually really nice? Maybe he really likes kids?

His talons ripped the food out of my hands, which also proceeded to fly out of his hands and hit a brick wall. "Nobody gets that food, thief!" Oh dear...he's definitely not nice. He's just like everyone else, why should I even be surprised? I bet he even hates kids!

He let out a low growl before looking down at me and saying, "This is your first warning, thief! If I ever see you around here again, and it doesn't matter what you're even doing, I won't hesitate to rip you apart!"

Heh...I bet if I fought this dude then I'd win against him. Wait, Cora, what are you even thinking? I don't even have any sort of weapon to use against this dude! Though maybe I could come back later with something...

"Fine, whatever I don't care...see you later," I mumbled and pat his chest before leaving the area, which in return he gave me a low growl. He's just like everybody else...

Has it only been a few days? Has it been a few weeks? A month? A year? I wonder if anybody even misses me, especially him. Though why would they? I'm just a nobody now. Everyone just wants me gone.

No...I didn't just become a nobody after that day happened. I'm sure I've always been a nobody, I doubt anybody has ever cared for me. Why would any of this even happen if they did?

Maybe none of this stuff would have happened if I was better. If I was better at everything...and I was just better in general, would everything be fine? Maybe none of this would have happened to me.

But it's way too late to change and to try and fix all of what caused this, I won't ever be better. I'll still just be a nobody. I'll always remain a nobody.

Wait a minute, there is Time Travel, maybe I could go and...no. That's a terrible idea, why would I think of that? I doubt even Time Travel would work, I don't even know where one of the machines are...

I just have to face the facts. This is my life now. It's never going to change. Why would it? I just have to get used to all of this. I shouldn't go to anybody either, they won't do anything for me. Why would they?

I sat on the edge of a (luckily) stable roof that I had managed to climb while watching two aliens sparring below me. One male and one female, the female alien seems to be winning at the moment.

I took my eyes off of the two and looked up at the sky, which seemed to be getting quite dark. Already? Maybe it's safe enough up here for me to sleep here for tonight. It's actually quite nice right now...

Sometime tomorrow though, I'll need to try and find some food and actually eat it this time. I can probably go for a little while longer though without eating...I've still done it before a few times. I really want some Pizza though.

When I looked back down below me, both of the aliens were suddenly gone. I guess they both went back home...I bet that's really nice. Maybe it's warm and comfy.

I lay down on the roof and look up into the sky, which was mostly clear but there were a few small stars that I could manage to see. Huh, that actually looks really...beautiful. I don't think I've done this before, but maybe I just don't remember...

Even though this is a little calming, there's still something I have to wonder about. What's my future going to be like? Is anything good going to happen in it? Or will everything just be terrible?

March 06, 2021 23:59

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

489 comments

B. W.
00:00 Mar 07, 2021

There's not a lot that I have to say for this one, except that I will say Cora is about 12 years old when this takes place. And in the present, she's 19 years old.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Elle Orthan
15:53 Mar 18, 2021

hey i like you and ur writing a lot keep writing and never get discouraged you seem really friendly and nice

Reply

B. W.
16:27 Mar 18, 2021

Oh, thank you so much ^^

Reply

Elle Orthan
16:53 Mar 18, 2021

of course dont listen to the haters

Reply

B. W.
17:13 Mar 18, 2021

Thanks ^^ you seem really nice aswell

Reply

Elle Orthan
18:07 Mar 18, 2021

thank you!!!

Reply

B. W.
18:23 Mar 18, 2021

No prob :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Laiba M
20:31 Mar 16, 2021

New thread-that was getting way too cramped T-T He'd probably have constant water powers, actually, not just when he's mad. So usually, Paz would have small fountains of water come from his fingertips, but as the anger and pressure built up in him over time, the pressure of the water increases, and the little streams become faster in more quantity. So when he finally "blew up", the water went to huge gushing, almost river-like, torrents that came out. He probably hit Nova or Seven with one of those and hurt them badly, showing how he lashed ...

Reply

B. W.
21:14 Mar 16, 2021

So in a way, he's like a water bender? Do you think he'd be able to control anything else, or would he have only been able to be able to control water type chaos and stuff?

Reply

Laiba M
22:46 Mar 16, 2021

Not really-he can't really control how much water comes out of his hands and doesn't know the flow is based on his emotions, if that makes sense~ I think water is good enough! It'd combat Koi's fire powers as well, showing how they can both be angry but clash at the same time~

Reply

B. W.
23:15 Mar 16, 2021

So normally, water droplets would just be dripping out of his fingers or something? I was looking at Set again, and it said how he can also control storms, but yeah I guess water is good enough for Paz.

Reply

Laiba M
01:29 Mar 17, 2021

Yeah, I guess so! And that makes sense!! How's the novel going so far??

Reply

B. W.
01:45 Mar 17, 2021

I'm working on chapter two at the moment, the first chapter was kinda short though.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
15:15 Mar 16, 2021

New thread?

Reply

B. W.
16:32 Mar 16, 2021

Yeah, do you have any random questions?

Reply

17:02 Mar 16, 2021

Hmm, favorite season?

Reply

B. W.
19:11 Mar 16, 2021

Hm, well I do really like it when it's summertime. I just like to swim a lot.

Reply

19:28 Mar 16, 2021

Ahh ok. My favorite season is fall, cause the trees are super beautiful, along with the weather for me :PP

Reply

B. W.
20:03 Mar 16, 2021

What's your least favorite season if you have one?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
18:33 Mar 15, 2021

Me sad COOOOORA

Reply

B. W.
18:48 Mar 15, 2021

?

Reply

18:57 Mar 15, 2021

This makes me feel sad for her

Reply

B. W.
19:47 Mar 15, 2021

Oh, did you maybe have a favorite part in it though?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

New Threaddd+leaving (going to bed.)

Reply

B. W.
04:02 Mar 13, 2021

What would you wanna talk about now?

Reply

I dunno. Do you have tips for being an extrovert?

Reply

B. W.
17:58 Mar 13, 2021

I'm actually an Introvert

Reply

Same! I hate talking to people-but I WANT to be able to speak louder and not be...You know...Socially Awkward like I am.

Reply

B. W.
18:11 Mar 13, 2021

I always get nervous and freaked out whenever I have to speak in front of a lot of people. It happened a lot in school, mostly during those times when we all had to present something :/

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
03:32 Mar 13, 2021

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR...

Reply

B. W.
03:41 Mar 13, 2021

:)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Laiba M
00:56 Mar 13, 2021

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME A...

Reply

B. W.
03:05 Mar 13, 2021

Who started this?

Reply

Laiba M
03:38 Mar 13, 2021

Luke and Sia~ I like it! It's really positive!!!

Reply

B. W.
03:42 Mar 13, 2021

Hm alright then, also do you maybe wanna hear a riddle?

Reply

Laiba M
19:21 Mar 13, 2021

Yesss!

Reply

B. W.
19:23 Mar 13, 2021

What has to be broken before you can use it?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Palak Shah
23:06 Mar 12, 2021

Great story. I love the way that it is written. Happy 60 stories. Well done Could you please check out my recent story and share some feedback. I would love to be friends with you :)) Have a good day :))

Reply

B. W.
23:13 Mar 12, 2021

Thanks so much, I'm glad you liked it ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part or anything like that? And I'll check your story out soon.

Reply

Palak Shah
23:26 Mar 12, 2021

I think this is my favourite part because I just love the thoughts intertwining in throughout even though the rest of the parts are still amazing. :))

Reply

B. W.
23:34 Mar 12, 2021

I'll still go check out some of your stories soon, but a little warning, I'm not really that good at giving critique.

Reply

Palak Shah
23:42 Mar 12, 2021

That's fine; I just want to see what you think of them as I am a young writer so I think that getting feedback would be good for me. :))

Reply

B. W.
23:47 Mar 12, 2021

Wait when did you join?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Felicity Anne
21:11 Mar 12, 2021

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME AUTHOR ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜❤️🧡💛💚💙💜YOU ARE AN AWESOME A...

Reply

B. W.
21:17 Mar 12, 2021

Thanks again? How many people have you done with this so far?

Reply

Felicity Anne
21:23 Mar 12, 2021

Around 10 or so. :) How are you doing today?

Reply

B. W.
21:31 Mar 12, 2021

I guess I'm fine, though a little bored and tired :/ what about how? How have you been?

Reply

Felicity Anne
23:43 Mar 12, 2021

Yeah, I'm pretty tired too with school and stuff, but I've been good for the most part. What have you been up to? :)

Reply

B. W.
23:47 Mar 12, 2021

I've mostly just been trying to relax, but that hasn't been working that much :/

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Laiba M
16:18 Mar 12, 2021

Koi's personality is fiery, just like their goddess parent and powers. Unlike Paz, Koi doesn't bottle their emotions and lets things out the moment they happen. Paz tries to keep Koi calm, but eventually, the stress of bottling his own problems and constantly calming someone else gets to him, and he explodes.

Reply

B. W.
16:54 Mar 12, 2021

I feel like after that happens at some point, it would then be Koi's turn to calm him down. Though she'd probably be a little shocked or surprised because she's never seen him like that before. Can I tell you how Nova and Seven would be?

Reply

Laiba M
17:36 Mar 12, 2021

That makes sense, and Koi would realize that they shouldn't have always let Paz comfort them. And sure!!

Reply

B. W.
17:51 Mar 12, 2021

Nova: She's always determined about things, and she really wants to free and help all the demi-gods. While she is slightly scared and nervous about something going wrong during this, she tries to be brave and keep going to help them. Seven: He's quite protective over Nova, especially when the two of them end up trying to help the demi-gods. He doesn't entirely trust Koi and Paz though, especially Paz since he *is* the son of a god of Chaos. He also gets annoyed quite easily.

Reply

Show 0 replies
B. W.
19:35 Mar 12, 2021

So what do you think about the two? And I think it would actually take a long time to calm Paz down, or at least it would take a lot of people to calm him down.

Reply

Laiba M
19:48 Mar 12, 2021

Oooh! I like it! I think Nova and Seven would try their best to calm down Paz and Koi would distance themself from him, feeling guilty about not comforting him earlier, but realizing Paz needs them now and finally, Koi is the one who can calm him down.

Reply

B. W.
20:44 Mar 12, 2021

I feel like Koi would also be like "Oh my gosh, how have I never noticed this? How long has he been doing this for?" And stuff whenever he stops bottling up his emotions and all that. Though exactly what kind of 'chaos' do you think Paz would even start to cause when he gets angry? Because that's still something that I haven't really figured out at the moment.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

New Thread! I'm checking your callob with Starry M.

Reply

B. W.
04:09 Mar 12, 2021

Alright, I hope you like it. And what do ya wanna talk about now?

Reply

Hmmmmmmmmm....Whats the most awkward question someone asked you? Mine is "Do you like someone?"

Reply

B. W.
16:10 Mar 12, 2021

I'm honestly not that sure. It might have been "Do you like that person?" as well but I don't really remember any other strange questions.

Reply

Do you like pizza?

Reply

B. W.
16:55 Mar 12, 2021

Yep I do, its some of my favorite food.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
. .
17:59 Mar 10, 2021

NEW THREAD PT. 2!!!! My favorite is easily Thoth or Anubis.

Reply

B. W.
18:54 Mar 10, 2021

What's Thoth the god of? I don't really think I've heard about them that much.

Reply

. .
18:56 Mar 10, 2021

KnOwLeDgE!!!!

Reply

B. W.
19:33 Mar 10, 2021

Do you maybe have a least favorite Egyptian god/goddess?

Reply

. .
19:38 Mar 10, 2021

Not really...

Reply

B. W.
19:53 Mar 10, 2021

Do ya wanna hear a joke?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Heyaaaa-new thread. :)

Reply

B. W.
17:23 Mar 10, 2021

So what do ya wanna talk about now?

Reply

I dunno-BUT, I had to restart the story a bit because Aerin replied. I'm going to work on it tonight, cuddling on the couch with my doggo where I write/type my stories :)

Reply

B. W.
18:53 Mar 10, 2021

I love dogs ^^ though I've always wanted to have a ChinChilla or a Sugar glider

Reply

OH MAH GOSH! Chinchillas are so cute and floofy and when they take a dust-bath...AHHHH HEART MELTT!

Reply

B. W.
22:18 Mar 10, 2021

I've always for some reason wanted to have a baby goat

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
. .
15:26 Mar 09, 2021

NEW THREAD!!! What's your fave thing to write about??

Reply

B. W.
15:55 Mar 09, 2021

I guess Fantasy, I've just always been good at it.

Reply

. .
16:10 Mar 09, 2021

Oh yeah that makes sense. I really wanna try out some new genres like horror or suspense, but my niche is kinda literary fiction or dramatic stuff with a couple dystopians thrown in.

Reply

B. W.
17:22 Mar 09, 2021

I've kinda wanted to try and do horror as well, though even if I really like reading and watching horror, I don't think I'd be that good at doing it.

Reply

. .
17:24 Mar 09, 2021

Ah, well it seems suuuuuuuuper hard.

Reply

B. W.
17:25 Mar 09, 2021

At some point, I was thinking of doing some sort of Horror story, except that it would just be filled with all of the cliches.

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Polly R.
12:36 Mar 09, 2021

hi, i'm sorry for the things i said-i didn't realize she felt differently and assumed after reading your comments. i hope you'll forgive me :) i'd love to be friends! and about the story, i liked when the person with talons tried to confront her. i also liked how you wrote the thoughts! good job b.w.!

Reply

B. W.
14:37 Mar 09, 2021

I'm not sure. I'm still a bit upset and angry about the whole thing. Though thanks for enjoying the story.

Reply

Polly R.
14:40 Mar 09, 2021

it'll probably take time. again, i'm really sorry about it. i don't know what i was thinking and why i said all that. i've stopped commenting for a few months but have continued to upvote you and many others and i've seen how nice you are to her and how friendly your interactions are. i think you're a really good friend to her and i hope you can ignore everything i said back then :) and yeah, i did :)

Reply

B. W.
14:44 Mar 09, 2021

Didn't you make the account just to tell me off though. That's what it kind of seemed like for a while. "Her" are you talking about Laiba, or possibly someone else. I was kind of surprised to hear from you again.

Reply

Polly R.
14:47 Mar 09, 2021

oh no!! i made it to read but that was one of the first things i noticed. i didn’t know it would end up that way.

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Laiba M
14:49 Mar 09, 2021

Polly, I'm happy you seem sorry about it and realized it wasn't a good idea, but why did you do it in the first place?

Reply

Polly R.
14:50 Mar 09, 2021

idk really, ig i just misunderstood but i thought you were being pressured by her or smth without realizing the details. you ended up making a story for her anyways and she was happy with it so it clearly all worked out. i’m sorry i offended both of you.

Reply

Laiba M
14:54 Mar 09, 2021

Well, she was really nice about it. I was busy, but I still kept telling her I'd write something without posting it. It makes sense to ask about the progress when you're waiting so long. I do appreciate that you apologized to her, but she felt really, really bad after that and it took a long time to make her feel better. None of what you said was true; yes, I was busy, but other than that, she wasn't even close to being rude or annoying. She's always been one of my best friends on here and I really care about her. I think that the lesson you...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
. .
23:59 Mar 07, 2021

ITS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID IT!!! As for this story, I really really really like it!! You did a great job, and I think that you wove the suspense well. You might want to have more urgency in it, like a life-threatening point in the plot or just some more overall drama.

Reply

B. W.
00:02 Mar 08, 2021

ill go check it out soon. though I'm still bad at giving critique and stuff like that. and I'm glad that you liked the story and i'll keep that stuff in mind. Did you maybe have a favorite part or anything like that?

Reply

. .
00:04 Mar 08, 2021

Aw, thanks!! My favorite part was definitely when the talon-dude confronted her.

Reply

B. W.
00:21 Mar 08, 2021

What's something you'd wanna see happen in the next part?

Reply

. .
00:34 Mar 08, 2021

I said it in my first one that you should make more drama and urgency 😄

Reply

B. W.
01:00 Mar 08, 2021

Alright then, do ya wanna hear a joke?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Roger Crane
22:47 Mar 07, 2021

Hi Hope, I saw what you wrote on "Account Advice" and if you really want help for your writing, there are definitely some things that people are not telling you which you should know (at least the comments I read below). I only saw you because that "writer" tagged me as well and I went there. I did not read any writing of his/hers or writing advice, so I cannot reference that. But let me tell you about this "story" in as much straight-forward kindness as I can. But if you decide you don't really want this, say so and I'll stop. Fair? First,...

Reply

B. W.
23:48 Mar 07, 2021

I mean, you got the thing right about me being a woman- sometimes people on here and other things mistake me for a guy, so thanks for that. Though that's beside the point, I'm a little confused though. Do you not like this one or anything? I thought this was a story was a beginning, middle, and end, along with all of the other ones that I've done on here ever since I started making stuff on here. But apparently, I guess it's not, and that's probably the same for my other ones, but I could be wrong, I don't know. I do have an ongoing theme wi...

Reply

Roger Crane
01:42 Mar 08, 2021

Hope, I do not consider your reply rude at all, and in fact I could have expected you to be offended, so the fact you're not is a good sign. I said that I had not read the writing you did before, and perhaps I should have before offering a comment. But what you said on the page I mentioned spurred me to write without much research, because I saw it as a cry for help (we all do now and then--writing is stressful and so is living). So, I was probably too strict talking about plot, but I could not understand where you were going with this and i...

Reply

B. W.
02:34 Mar 08, 2021

I guess if you're still wanting to check out my previous things and all of that, then why don't you check out my very first one or something?

Reply

Roger Crane
05:10 Mar 08, 2021

Okay, Hope, I will do that. Hang tight.

Reply

B. W.
15:12 Mar 08, 2021

Alright then

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
. .
00:03 Mar 08, 2021

Ah, a conflict of interest. Roger, I would like to say that, first of all, your idea of all stories having a cohesive plot is bonkers. There are plenty of classics that don't have a cohesive plot, not the least of which is War and Peace. It is not plot driven, so if you want to call that bad literature, go ahead. Second of all, Stephen King himself says that situational writing is his method. This is when he has no idea where the story will go but he starts with background and a situation to thrust his characters into, and then it figures it...

Reply

Roger Crane
01:18 Mar 08, 2021

No, Litlover, I am not offended in the least, and you are right in your implication that there is room in literature for many styles, especially in the classics. As for King, you seem to be talking more about his method of coming up with a story. I do that myself. When I hear people (a lot of them experts trying to help writers) talk about how to come up with plots, I really don't know what they are talking about. That's the easy part of writing. I usually don't graph my books the way some do. It takes all kinds and that is as it should be....

Reply

. .
01:21 Mar 08, 2021

Ah, well that’s a much more clear answer!! I see that you are a very experienced author and reader and there were great truths in your comments. Thanks!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Philip Clayberg
19:37 Mar 07, 2021

I like your "Early Cora" story. Maybe too many thoughts and not much action (it doesn't have to be violent action; it can be describing things that she does on a regular basis), though. If she was that lost in her thoughts, someone could take advantage of her while she's distracted. As an orphan in the streets, I don't think she'd be like that. It takes enough mental and physical effort just to survive; she probably wouldn't usually have the luxury to spend time just thinking. She'd think about things sometimes, but probably not this mu...

Reply

B. W.
19:59 Mar 07, 2021

I kinda just wanted more of a relaxing story and not a lot of action, since a lot of my stories have a lot of that and other things, I guess if that makes sense. I also didn't really know what kind of action to do for this one, so I just added a few small things to it. I actually want to do another Early Cora story at some point, and if I do eventually do it, there'll probably be way more action. Though I do kind of have a reason for why nobody tries to take advantage of her or anything like that while shes spaced out, they simply just don't...

Reply

Philip Clayberg
20:28 Mar 07, 2021

Maybe start with Cora escaping from an orphanage? Then she has to figure out what to do next, how to survive, etc. Then connect that with the first time she meets Axel and Reboot. Maybe she literally runs into them and Reboot picks her up by the collar of her shirt (or tunic or whatever). "For a human, you don't amount to much," Reboot tells her. "Put me down, put me down!" she complains and tries to punch him in the chest. She shakes her hand a moment later. "Ow! That hurts!" "Of course," Reboot says calmly. "I'm an android, not f...

Reply

B. W.
20:45 Mar 07, 2021

I was actually considering doing something like that at some point, though with a couple of differences. She would already be 18 (so she can't be sent back to the orphanage, which she already escaped from when she was almost 14.) and she still would have stolen food, but it was a lot more than just one simple thing, like enough food to where it would be falling out of her hands as she ran and it would all fall out when she bumps into them. There would still be some 'cops' going after her, but it would mostly be the head of Authority that wan...

Reply

Philip Clayberg
21:46 Mar 07, 2021

Maybe she "bumps" (literally more than figuratively) into Axel and Reboot at least twice. Once when she was 13 or 14, and then later when she was about 18 or 19. I'm still curious as to what terrible "crime" (or whatever) she committed that has gotten the local "cops" so ticked off at her. Maybe she didn't steal something. Maybe she humiliated one of the more egotistical/narcissistic "cops"? Maybe by doing something via telekinesis (without realizing that she's the one doing it; maybe she thinks someone else did it)? Like pulling down ...

Reply

B. W.
21:57 Mar 07, 2021

I feel like when she was 13 and they bumped into each other, it would have been something really small. Like she and Axel just literally bump into each other, she falls down and he helps her up, and then they leave. Then once she's 18 they all bump into each other again and that's when she was running from the 'cops' and all of that, and Axel decides to help her, though he wouldn't really be helping her because he remembers her from several years ago, he just wants to help her because she's in trouble and stuff. Honestly, the head 'cop' bein...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
02:13 Mar 07, 2021

This part was really nice! I liked how you wrote the thoughts while still in the present! Overall this story was really good! Gj! Happy 60th story btw! You'll be at 100 in no time! :D -M

Reply

B. W.
02:51 Mar 07, 2021

Thanks so much, ^^ did you maybe have a favorite part in the story or anything like that? I'm kind of surprised by how many stories I have done, what do ya think I should do for the 100th story?

Reply

04:32 Mar 07, 2021

Probably the beginning. And idrk. Maybe something about your progression in your writing style/skill?

Reply

B. W.
05:00 Mar 07, 2021

My writing style? I always felt like in almost every story, it changes. But to you, how would you describe my writing style and stuff? If you can.

Reply

18:52 Mar 07, 2021

Idk really how to describe writer style lol. Idk just to me I feel like every writer writes differently then others, like you can tell the difference between J.K. Rowling and C.S. Lowis. Idk if that makes sense though lol. I'd say rn your style is a lot of fiction/fantasy, vivid details, unique plots and plot twists, etc.

Reply

B. W.
18:58 Mar 07, 2021

Wait, is C.S. Lowis the person who wrote "The giver" and its sequels, or am I actually thinking of someone else?

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply