Ignore The Mess

“Careful with that!” said Mrs Confidence to the removal team as they walked into Confidence Towers. She had been planning this move for nearly a month whilst her superhero husband was out saving the day.

So far today she had been liaising with the previous Mayor Happiness, the removal team, the lagoon renovators for the back garden, the dog sitter for their pet ice cream Vanilla and then her family. The Confidence house working like clockwork was also completely down to her and the move was going well so far for the same reason.

“We will be extra careful Mrs Confidence, we’ll go slower if you like?” said Mr Box, owner of Box and Family Removals.

Being a family of walking talking boxes made it very easy for them to pack up people’s houses and then walk all the way to the new property, sometimes using Ellie Lorry and her family to get everyone there if it was more than a mile away. 

Mrs Confidence nodded at Mr Box, he shouted out at his numerous box children and they all started to take smaller steps.

She stood in the echoey reception area with her large foam turtle body and newly permed hair casting a huge shadow on the marble floor, pointing each box in the direction of the room they required. She had carefully marked up each box with the room location on the outside so her task was as simple as possible. Within half an hour all their belongings were in the house and she began to instruct each room of boxes where to unpack the items.

Master and Miss Confidence were up in their rooms starting to unpack their things and couldn’t believe how much space there was. They were individually planning the epic sleepovers and birthday parties they could host and couldn't wait to be the one who got their parents’ permission first, each one thinking the parents would side with their better idea.

Mr Confidence had finished work slightly early so flew through the back door to a flurry of activity with boxes unpacking themselves everywhere. He quickly saw his wife in the midst of directing the box traffic and asked what every spare part husband asks their partner.

“Need a hand?” he asked knowing his wife was more than capable of handling this with her head fully inside her shell.

“Green algae tea, please!” she said sounding relieved she was having a conversation with someone who wasn't a box.

“Coming up!” he flew over to the cupboards and quickly looked around realising he wasn't in his old house anymore. He slowly turned his bulky amphibian body back round to find Mrs Confidence was smirking at him.

“It’s all in that box that says Tea and Coffee on your left behind you.”

Mr Confidence spun back round and helped the tinier box with Tea and Coffee on the outside unpack its cargo, which it thanked him for in a tiny high pitched voice. He plugged in the kettle and got started. He knew his wife was better than him in every way when it came to their home life but he did pride himself on the fact he was King of Tea. Of course, Mrs Confidence let him believe that so she got a nice cup of tea on a regular basis, but in actual fact she had a black belt in tea making.

An hour later the Confidence family were chilling in the living room on their new sofas when there was a knock at the front door. Mrs Confidence opened the door thinking it might be Mr Box with the missing box from the move but instead no-one was there. She heard someone clear their throat and say:

“Excuse me?”

She quickly looked down and there was a medium sized box looking back at her.

“Can I help you?” she asked confused that the package was here on its own, she looked down the road for anyone else and only heard the faint buzz of a nearby bee.

“I‘m the missing box with your things.” said the box sounding quite tinny and faint for someone who was standing right in front of Mrs Confidence. She had no reason to question it, and she was waiting for a missing box, so invited her new cardboard buddy into the house.

Mrs Confidence and the mystery box walked into the living room together as Mr Confidence asked, “Who was it?”, only to have his question answered as this strange looking parcel appeared by the side of his wife.

“Oh? Hello.. erm box!”

“Hello Mr Confidence I bring your things. Please help me open myself.” As the box reached the centre of the room a number of things happened at once:

·       Mr Confidence got up from the sofa to walk over to the box.

·       Mrs Confidence heard that faint buzzing again and thought the bee must have followed the box into the house.

·       Master Confidence thought it was weird his Mum had not put a sticker on this box to say which room it should go in.

·       Miss Confidence noticed the box’s arms and legs were made from plastic pipes and toilet rolls and it’s eyes were drawn on in black marker. The box seemed to be floating as if it was fake!?

Miss Confidence leapt from the sofa screaming “DAD, NOOO!”

Mr Confidence had already partially opened one of the flaps of the box and that activated the gallons of green sticky gunge that exploded out of the fake box. It covered everything and everyone within the living room.

In the space of two seconds there was a drippy shade of green covering every part of the room. The whole family stood there in silence as gunge slowly dripped from their faces. In the silence the buzzing of the bee grew louder as a cackled laugh could be heard from it’s tiny body:

“HAHAHA! Like my housewarming gift?” said their arch nemesis Tommy Terror coming to them live from his bee drone camera. Mr Confidence cleared the green goo from his mouth and eyes and slowly responded,

“Tommy, what a lovely surprise! Where are you, I’d love to give you a hug in person!” he said through gritted teeth, hearing his wife seething underneath the many oozy layers next to him.

“I’m sat here in my lovely back garden looking at my water fountain as I see a live feed of your wonderful new green décor in your living room,” Tommy said.

“Do you like the smell I added to the gunge by the way – that comes straight from Gas Town. I hope you...” Mr Confidence hit the bee drone with the back of his hand and it crashed against the wall landing on the floor in a heap with no more buzzes to give.

Mr Confidence, with goo still dripping from every part of his squashy body, looked at his beautiful home now covered in green stickiness and started to think through what to do next. It didn’t take long for the best idea to rise into his mind and take shape.

“Dad? What...” Before Master Confidence could finish his sentence Mr Confidence interrupted him.

"Nobody move until I say you can. Honey, where is the bucket and the spare lagoon pool?”

Mrs Confidence spat out enough green gunge from her mouth to respond,

“They're both in the garage next to your bike.”

In a split second, where Mr Confidence had been standing there was just a number of green gooey splats in flight as the rest of him had flown off to get the bucket from the garage. 

He dashed into the garage, grabbed the bucket and spare lagoon plastic pool and flew back to the house, leaving the pool in the centre of the garden.

The Mayor and bucket shot back into the living room and quickly removed the goo from every piece of furniture, light fitting and member of the family he could find.

As soon as the bucket was full, he dashed back to the pool outside and emptied the putrid green goo into it. Within a few minutes the living room was back to normal and the pool was filled with the green gunge. He even grabbed the raspberry ripple scented furniture polish and air freshener from under the sink to remove every piece of the pooey odour from the room.

The Confidence family - still picking bits of green from under their scaley nails - followed their dad into the back garden to find the pool almost up to the brim with goo.

“What are we going to do with that?” asked Mrs Confidence.

Mr Confidence gave a cheeky smile back at her.

----------------------

Tommy Terror was catching some grey rays from the overcast sky above him wearing his cool (in his mind anyway) glum glasses humming his favourite theme tune about himself to himself. It wasn't often his plans worked but, on that rare occasion when they did, he had earned the right to gloat and kick back and enjoy his victory. 

In fact he was enjoying his victory so much that he didn’t notice the additional shadow overhead or the faint foul gunk spitting on his arm which became a heavy downpour. 

Within a matter of seconds Tommy Terror and a large part of his water fountain and garden were covered in disgusting green gelatinous goo from the skies.

He lay frozen in time covered in gunk but could just make out, despite all the festering funk in his eyes, someone or something flying overhead holding a large object. He knew immediately who it was as Mr Confidence shouted down at him before flying back home, leaving Tommy sat in his pooey fluorescent mess.

“Enjoy the smell!”