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Fantasy Drama Inspirational

Thetrix: A Goverener planet away from Earth. Read on for more information.

Trixers: People who live on Thetrix.

Astrid: Princess of Thetrix.

Ariella: Her younger sister.

Hippogriff: read HP

Griffin: Mixture of Eagle and Lion

Dementor: A foul being, sucks out all happy memories.

Hoxputtler plant: A plant on Thetrix




Β β€œG'night Astrid!” Says Ariella tiredly.

β€œGood Night Ariel.” Said Astrid as she dozed off.


Now you must be wondering, who is Astrid? Well, She’s the to-be princess, of course. She will be the princess of Thetrix. Oh yeah, you’re a puny earthling, aren’t you? Wonder how you are reading this. Never mind. Back to Astrid.


Astrid lives on Thetrix with Trixers. (Her people). She has misty grey eyes, always staring, questioning. She was as beautiful as a diamond. An expensive one, that too.


*Chuckle*


She had a warm smile, with long black hair, which was always tied up in a French braid. She always wore a loose T Shirt with jeans or denim shorts. The people of Thetrix never had winter clothes, they would only wear winter clothes in the month of Fregus, Winter, for the Trixers. Her button nose, was as sharp in smelling as her dog, Kiwa did. Kiwa, was a Labrador. She had snowy-white fur and a cute snout. She was with Astrid since birth.



Ms. Ariella is Astrid’s younger sister. She loves frocks and Hippogriffs. She is identical to her big sister in looks and personality.


Oh and over here, people don’t die. They only die when their life mission/dream/goal is complete.


Oh, and are gods. We have God’s too! Well we have Gale, Weather God. Then we have Aiden, The Sun God, and many more.

The Trixers were not dumb people. Like you all. The each had different hair colours representing their personalities. We also had slightly pricked up ears. We never had any fights or anything. We always had peace. But we had a little drawback, we held grudge. A Lot. A LOT! Oh, and we are very loyal. Anyone disloyal to us shall be punished severely. For example, Bryden was very disloyal to us. During war against the Ristlers, he told them our hideout. So, we banished him in a cottage near the Ghastly Greenwood. Then his punishment was that he had to drink a special potion. The Grim Potion. So, as his punishment he sucked out all the sadness and depression from all the planets. Including Earth. But that was a long time ago. You see, Thetrix is the Governor planet. It governs everything on all planets. sadness, happiness, loneliness, you get it.


Now, our β€œmother nature" was different too. Like, The Fire Star, or what you all call it, β€œThe Sun” didn’t rise by itself. Nor did The Snow Star.


For the Fire Star, we had Firebirds, they formed a β€˜V’ and lifted the Fire Star up.


As for The Snow Star, you guessed it. We had Snowbirds who also formed a β€˜V’ and lifted the Snow Star up.


Are Animae were different too. Oh, I mean Animals in Earth language. We had a few special Trixers each year who were shape-shifters. Then a few wizards, and very rarely a Sparker. A Sparker is a child who is an all-rounder. We had Unicorns, Dementors, Hippogriffs and Griffins. In your earth JK Rowling is a double agent. She knows about Thetrix. So, she incorporated a bit of our world into your book series Harry Potter. But not completely.


Trixers can do a little magic. Not much, but a little. For example, they can levitate small objects like a cushion or a pan but the queen or the princess has higher powers. For example, Astrid controls the Air and the Water because Astrid is a blue being. Because she is a blue being, this means Ariella will be a Red Being.


A Blue Being is a person who has blue as their spirit colour. And Air or Water as their Soul element. The Same with the Reds. But they have Red as their soul colour and Fire as their soul element. You can get to know your Colour being too. You will have to go meet the β€œThe Gang Of Life". Its full of irony actually. The Gang of Life is a group of old people who tell you if you are a Blue, Red, Yellow, or Green Being. They live in the Ghastly Greenwood. (Its where we keep the Dementors) These oldies are tough so they take care of it. Plus, we need the Greenwood for Potions. What did you think? That you get The Hoxputtler plant lying on the ground? No, no. It lies deep within the Greenwood.



Night lasts 11 hours on Thetrix. Oh, look! the Snowbirds are lifting The Snow Star up! It’s time for the Coronation of Princess Astrid!!



Astrid~

Yay. I’m gonna get coroneted. This feels weird. Li-like I’m already an adult. I don’t want to disappoint mom. Sh-she would be mad if I messed it up. M-my powers. What’s happening?


Astrid rushed to her bathroom. Hiya! She whacked her hand in frustration and a shot of water came out she stared at the mirror very hardly in wonder what had happened... She stared harder and the Mirror froze and burst.


Two years later....


β€œPrincess Astrid, would you like breakfast?” Said a feeble voice meekly.

β€œUm, no Thank you Maya.” Replied Astrid as she stared out of her majestic balcony. Her eyes in deep thought. She was wearing a delicate, beautiful gown with her tiara on top. A shawl hanging around her back and out of her elbows.


She is wondering...


Astrid~

What if they hadn’t called war. Thank Gale, it ended. I hope offering a hand of friendship was a good idea to the Ristlers. Hmm...


β€œHiya Ast!! Whatcha doing? I’m boredddddd. Do you want to go meet Riley?” Said Ariella. Riley was a Firebird and Ariella's best friend. Ariella called Astrid Ast. Pretty nickname.


β€œHi Ariel. *sigh* no, sorry I can’t go meet Riley. I have important stuff. β€œsaid Astrid.


β€œLike staring out in the balcony and pretending you are in a music video? You do that when it rains. Oh, oh no! Astrid y-you’ve got Bore-itis!! Said Ariel.


β€œWhat in Thetrix is that?”


β€œIts when someone, (like you) has gotten to such a stage of BORING that they are to be hospitalised and given water balloons and chocolate as treatment.” Said Ariel as she burned Astrid.


β€œHa. Just kidding. Not funny.” Said Astrid. β€œBuzz off.”


Fine. β€œBzzzzzz" replied as she buzzed off Ariella.


You see, Astrid has a prophecy. A prophecy too be the best Princess to rule. Ever. She knew this since she was 13. Well, now she is 17. Her mom was not exactly nice. She passed little, mean comments about her all the time. She was a pricked in your back. The Lego on your foot. Even about Ariella. Her Dad. Was away all the time.


A few days later...


Astrid was wearing an elegant gown. A very nice one. It started at her shoulder, embroidered with flowery vines which widened as it went down. It had a white back-colour with golden and silver vines. She looked pure lovely. That’s when she heard a sneer.


β€œWhat do you think your wearing? Astridda, that’s hideous! Do you want to embarrass yourself?” Said Astrid’s mother.


β€œ*sigh* okay. I’ll go change. And my name is NOT ASTRIDDA. Its ASTRID.”


β€œWhatever. Maya, go arrange a cocktail party with my friends. NOW!” said Queen Keres. Astrid’s mother.


Astrid changed into a crop-top. Yes, they are fashion here too. And her favourite jeans. On her top, in big black writing was β€œWalkers4life!!” She stared out the balcony listening "Different World" By Alan Walker.


Astrid~

Ugh. I HATE EVERYTHING in my life. Hmm... except Ariella and Kiwa. They’re nice and cute. Ugh. Should I run away? Or not...


Something snapped Astrid out of thought. A boy. A cute one. He had black hair, misty green eyes. She rushed down the castle stairs. And then, she saw him. He was listening. Listening to Alan Walker. She loved Alan Walker music too. He had a jacket on. It said β€œWalkers4life”. She walked up to him. She had butterflies in her stomach and was bursting to say: β€œOh My Gosh you are sooo cute I have a humongous crush on you!!” ... Buut she couldn’t.


She walked up and said: β€œWalkers for life . Huh? Me too.” Said Astrid as she showed her top.


β€œYeah. They’re Awesome. Lol. You look cool. W-wait. You are the Princess, right? Princess Astrid? Oh my god. I’m sorry, do I have to bow or something?”


β€œLol. Nah, its fine. Soo... you a red being or a blue one?” β€œWell, I’m a Red one. You are blue. Replied the guy.


β€œYeah... So, you wanna hang out tomorrow? Said Astrid eagerly waiting for the reply... Would she get dumped? Or accepted?


β€œWhat? At the castle? A-At the Thetra Castle? Is that even allowed?”


β€œWell, now it is.” Said Astrid as she walked away with a smirk.Β Β Β Β 

October 07, 2020 13:32

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124 comments

Yay! New story!! I LOVE HIPPOGRIFFS!!! Okay, this. Is. So. GOOD! Great job, I love that you incorporated dementors and hippogriffs! Amazing work! (as always) Also, what Hogwarts house are you in??

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Awww thank you Kylie!!!!! I'm in hufflepuff according to the quiz but I like to imagine me on gryffindor

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Haha, according to the quiz, I am GRYFFINDOR!! But I lurvee Hufflepuff!!

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Wowwwww!!!! I'm jelly! Nice! Hiw much do you like hp? Cuz I LIVE on em!

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Yaarrrs Hp crush? Favourites characters?

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Orenda .
17:16 Oct 07, 2020

I haven't read HPπŸ™‚ so I dont know who hippogriff isπŸ™‚ an uncultured swine I am. yes, must say that. anyway, onto the story: "We have God’s too!" omit the apostrophe. your world building was great...like really good. But, I felt there was some info dump of the elements of your world building. You said it was intended, so I guess it's okay. But, other than that, GREAT JOB, SIS! You nailed the fantasy attemptπŸ˜ƒ

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Orenda .
03:53 Oct 08, 2020

no worries, S! πŸ˜€

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:)! Hey we should do a collaborative story! If you want? But then how did you do it with Rhonda?

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Orenda .
05:33 Oct 08, 2020

yup suree! we used Google docs cuz you've a share option there.

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nice! Sooo I got Google docs nd btw what all info. Will be shared and should I share it now?

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I’ve noticed the you change tenses a bit, here’s an example: β€œ The Trixers were not dumb people. Like you all. The each had different hair colours representing their personalities. We also had slightly pricked up ears. We never had any fights or anything.” You use β€˜The Trixers’ then you say β€˜the (which I think is supposed to be they)’ and then lastly you use β€˜we’ so is it in first or third person? There’s also another change in tenses… β€œBut we had a little drawback, we held grudge. A Lot. A LOT! Oh, and we are very loyal.” β€˜Had’ is past ten...

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Wow. You are definitely a professional in critiques, I pronounce you: "The Queen of Critiques!" Lol. XD thanks so frisking muchhh

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Ana Govindasamy
17:25 Jan 26, 2021

This had a good concept but the world building felt a little hectic and there was a fair bit of info dumping. Just a nitpick, which is if Thetrix is supposed to be another planet, then why are they using human slang β€œlol” and other things that are distinctly human like having Alan Walker as an already established artist and having Labradors, a human bred species etc. But I think a touch of of editing and revising and I would read a novel of this!

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Hey Ana! Thanks for the comment! Yeah, this was kinda my first time writing fantasy. Hmm your right I didn't quite think of that. Really? Thanks a lot though! -S

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Ana Govindasamy
06:27 Jan 27, 2021

No problem!

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:)! I'd love to drop by on your stories! Which ones would you suggest?

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Ana Govindasamy
07:26 Jan 27, 2021

Oh thanks! Well, my favourites are Background Noise, Why Me and Just Once but they’re pretty heavy...it depends what you like!

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Welcome! Ooh nice titles! I know, I kinda like dark stories....( I know I'm weird, lol)

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WOwww super creative Sky. Its amazing how you can make a whole kingdom in your head. I loved this and the romance at the ennndddd! And the whole story in general was great! A few spelling mistakes though and just like words you mixed up, I noticed. "Are Animae were different too." - Are should be Our* and were is past tense so I recommend putting are* to replace were. SO.. "Our Animae are different too" And don't forget to put these " to close off the sentence!! But overall greaaaat Job!!! Also I have a story out! So if you have...

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Aww thanks!!! OOH new story ! yaYYYYY

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You should totally write fantasy!!!!!

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Yeahhh I wrote that once cause of Deepshikha! I'll definitely try it again! One day. Soon. Maybe.

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Hriday Saboo
10:53 Oct 08, 2020

Would you mind checking out my new story

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Hriday Saboo
11:03 Oct 08, 2020

Thanks

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Hriday Saboo
13:32 Oct 08, 2020

Sure

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Megan Sutherland
16:05 Oct 07, 2020

I've seen your name in other people's bios, so I decided to come check you out. I'm impressed! I loved the storyline, characters, and names. You have some issues here and there with commas, punctuation, and dialogue with quotation marks. "I walked to the store today," said Sara. (correct punctuation, capitalization. The verb is not capitalized, as it is not the beginning of a sentence. "I walked to the store today". Said Sara. If you're ending a sentence in that context, use a comma at the end of your dialogue. Overall I really enj...

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Megan Sutherland
17:27 Oct 08, 2020

Seriously? One day before mine!!! haha!

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Maya W.
15:49 Oct 07, 2020

MY NAME WAS IN THIS! YAYYY! I KNOW IT PROBABLY WASN'T INTENDED, BUT YAYYY! I enjoyed this one! There were a few instances of telling not showing, but I think you intended that. It's very had to write a story with this sort of narration, but I think you did it pretty well! This gave me Lemony Snicket vibes. Keep it up!

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Yess! It wasn't intended but then I'm like i like the name maya so why not put it? Yes, thanks, a lot!!! Youbread Lemony snicket! You know ASOUE??!!!!

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Maya W.
17:25 Oct 07, 2020

Lol, yup.

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13:48 Oct 07, 2020

Cool! The JK Rowling cameo was unique! And I loved the names, so creative! Especially Thetrix! Waiting for a part 2!

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Thanks Akshat!! Writing Fantasy is super fun!

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15:11 Oct 07, 2020

:)

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it changes tense a little, but the story worked! Love Astrid-- LOL she is like me. I also love your bio, can I copy-paste a copy of it to read all the time? I won't put it in my bio, I'll just read it! :) Again, I really like your story :)

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Lol, ik I actually based her on me XD Aww thanks! Sure!

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B. W.
23:55 Oct 26, 2020

Hey, whats up with your bio and name?

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Hmm I dunno i wasn't feeling good n stuff

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B. W.
01:42 Oct 27, 2020

whats wrong?

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Well, um, school stress, other stuff

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B. W.
02:34 Oct 27, 2020

this probably isn't gonna help or anything, but maybe I could tell ya some jokes? ^^

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Miguel Balinado
11:43 Oct 15, 2020

An interesting story that has lots of pop culture feel to it :)

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Amy Utami
09:26 Oct 11, 2020

At first I read it, I can sense a HP fans here πŸ˜‚. Well, I won't comment that, since you mention it yourself in the story, JK Rowling part was funny πŸ‘Œ It's legit story πŸ£πŸ‘ Well done, I didn't found it hard too read. I hate for feeling stupid when I have to read too poetic story, I didn't focus on the storyline but the vocabularies used instead 😭. Even though it's quite good, let me give you some polite criticism as a reader. I hope it can help you be better at writing fantasy, I was obsessed with fantasy since I was a kid, so sorry for bei...

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Thank you Amy! And yes, I will change that part!

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Amy Utami
20:13 Oct 11, 2020

Good luck dear! I would love to come back and read more 😊

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Hriday Saboo
16:27 Oct 09, 2020

Well written story. Alan Walker fan are u? Me too. Didn't find any mistakes till now. Good storyline.

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Hriday Saboo
16:27 Oct 09, 2020

Well written story. Alan Walker fan are u? Me too. Didn't find any mistakes till now. Good storyline.

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Hriday Saboo
17:47 Oct 09, 2020

πŸ‘πŸ»

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Hriday Saboo
17:59 Oct 09, 2020

Hey which singer dyou like the most??

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Hriday Saboo
17:59 Oct 09, 2020

Hey which singer dyou like the most??

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*clap clap clap clap* Great job!! I love how it included some stuff about HP, I love that book.

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14:40 Oct 07, 2020

Awesome!!!! Fantasy writing is my personal favorite style!

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Thanks Owly! I like owls a lot too!

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15:09 Oct 07, 2020

Yes, owls are the best!! I've loved them since I was little, though I never completely understood why :)

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My first attempt at FANTASY!!!

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