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Fiction Funny


Parrot sound recording number 1.

Okay, this is going to be a little weird.

I just named this strange animal—a bird, more precisely a parrot (it came to me suddenly - I have no idea why or how). It turned out that the parrot could repeat everything I said. Since I don't know how to write, (but I know everything else - at least that's what the Dude told me), I thought I'd use that parrot's ability to remember where everything is.

This place is huge, I mean - huge.

I've only been here since yesterday. I opened my eyes and there I was, surrounded by trees (that's what he said it was called, those green, big-something). I have no idea where I was before or how I found myself here.

Some Voice told me that I was Dustin or I came from Dustin - something like that. I barely understood him because I don't speak the same language. I mean, I just got here, wherever that is.

He explained general things like numbers, words, names, and Knowledge.


Parrot sound recording number 2.

It's the third day since I've been here (the Voice told me so). The day means - when the yellow circle in the sky replaces the white circle, and then the yellow circle reappears.

I called that yellow circle the Sun as "soon to appear," and somehow it occurred to me to call the white circle the Moon—it rhymes. Although I don't know what that means, the Voice had a good laugh, so it must be good.

A Voice told me I had to name everything, so I spent three days naming everything I saw as best I could think of.

I'm tired of all these trees. I've been walking through this meadow for three days and was bored. Everywhere I look, there are only trees.

It's beautiful, but if you see one tree, you've seen them all.


Parrot sound record number 3.

Some animal appeared and stared at me; I guess it was seeing me for the first time, and it was surprised. I tried to talk to her but without success. I wasn't sure how to speak so that she would understand me, and she wasn't in the mood either. I called her a monkey because that's when the Moon appeared above the animal.

I know it's a stupid reason and a stupid name, but the Voice said that I can call anyone what I like, so there you go... Maybe I'll change the name another time if I remember. Not that the animal protested about it.

I decided to explore this whole place, however long it may be. I guess I will come across something other than trees.


Parrot sound record number 4.

I had to get another parrot because the first one lost memory for unknown reasons. I learned the first word when that happened: "Shit."

It just jumped out at me. A strange noise was heard in the sky, but nothing happened. I don't know what I expected to happen.

This parrot is female and is a better version than the first one. The only problem was that she started talking even when I didn't ask her, and it was hard to stop her once she started. Sometimes I miss that first parrot.

I saw a few more animals I called silly names because I couldn't think of meaningful names since they certainly didn't care what they were called. At least they didn't protest. Maybe they did, but I certainly didn't understand them.


Parrot sound record number 5.

I ate some fruit; I called it a banana. It sounded nice to me when I said it. The monkey looked at me strangely when I ate a few pieces in a row. What is his problem?

Not that there isn't enough food for everyone. I notice that there are too many of them. Monkeys and bananas.

I haven't heard a Voice in a long time. I have no idea whose voice that is and what's up with all those trees. I walk for days on this unexplored terrain and accept trees and animals, there is nothing else.

I'm slowly getting tired of exploring.


Parrot sound record number 6.

Everything is straight, and it “gets on my nerves.” That's what I called the feeling that came over me after fifteen days of walking on the grass (that's what I called the soft green plant that was everywhere).

I don't know what's up with all that green color. Green trees, green grass, green fruit. I'm going to turn green.

It seems that there are no other Dustin’s besides me, which is cool and it's not because I don't have a no one to speak with and this parrot is starting to get on my nerves. How much can that bird talk, God help me.


Parrot sound record number 7.

I was sick today from some green plant. I felt somehow "not myself," like I got drunk (yes, that's what I called the effect produced by the juice of the fruit I called grapes).

It was the eighth day I drank grape juice that had been in the sun too long. It was an incredible feeling. The second day I had a headache.

But everything from this plant was somehow great, I'll call that feeling "high”. I think I’m going to like that plant.

It made me forget that everything is green all the time.


Parrot sound record number 8.

I'm going back. I've had enough of trees and grass. I need to reduce the intake of the plant that makes me high. I moved more slowly and would just lie down.

Looks like I got the monkey used to that plant. I don't know why, but I put bits of the plant in his banana, and when he ate it, he stuck to me like a shadow. That act I called a "joke".

Sometimes it seems that I understand him and that we are similar, but I don't know if this is because of the plant or is something else.

At least I'm not bored in his company, but I would like to meet at least one more Dustin.


Sound recording of Parrot number 9.

Everything is much better in the company of monkeys than when I’m alone. It's somehow more fun. Under the plant's influence, we turned off the road and came across a huge body of water, which I called a river.

I don't know how, but I discovered laughter when the monkey fell into the river. If only I could describe the panic on his face as he was drowning. I couldn't stop laughing until he disappeared under the water.

I didn't laugh anymore.

I was left without company. Not that I could do anything because I don't know how to swim. I'll have to ask the Voice about it because he shouldn't be leaving such dangerous things all over.

What if I fell into the river?


Sound recording of Parrot number 10.

I'm back where I started. I wasn't in the mood. I lost my monkey companion, there was not even a plant left, and apart from greenery, I discovered nothing in this boring place.

I don't know what my purpose really is here. I haven't heard a Voice since I started exploring, and I wonder if he is gone.

I wish I wasn't Dustin because it's lonely to be one.


Sound recording of Parrot number 11.

A voice woke me up.

He appeared and told me that he had been waiting for me and that there was a surprise.

I'm not the only Dustin in this place anymore. There are two of us now.

And he said I'm not Dustin and neither is she.

Her name is Eve, and my name is Adam.

April 19, 2024 21:49

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31 comments

Jorge Soto
15:26 Apr 24, 2024

Ahh nice! I was thinking Adam and Eve the whole time, but thought maybe it might be some Robinson Crusoe stranded person as well. Cool format and very original, great work.

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Darvico Ulmeli
15:31 Apr 24, 2024

Thank you very much.

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Alexis Araneta
16:19 Apr 20, 2024

Darvico ! OH MY GOONDNESS ME WAS THIS AMAZING ! Oh my ! The creative twist on the creation story, the brilliant descriptions, the acerbic tone --- all of it were top-notch. So many killer lines too. Might as well not write because whatever I come up with will pale in comparison to this. Hahahaha ! I kid. Wonderful job !

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Darvico Ulmeli
16:23 Apr 20, 2024

Thank you Stella. I'm happy that you loved this story. I had such inspiration for this.

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Harry Stuart
01:41 Apr 20, 2024

Hey Darvico - I'm giving you the nod on this one - genius! So many outstanding lines: I called that yellow circle the Sun as "soon to appear," and somehow it occurred to me to call the white circle the Moon—it rhymes. Although I don't know what that means, the Voice had a good laugh, so it must be good. It's beautiful, but if you see one tree, you've seen them all. This parrot is female and is a better version than the first one. The only problem was that she started talking even when I didn't ask her, and it was hard to stop her once sh...

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Darvico Ulmeli
05:40 Apr 20, 2024

Thanks Harry. It means a lot.

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McKade Kerr
20:55 May 09, 2024

Haha, that was awesome. Great job!

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Darvico Ulmeli
22:52 May 09, 2024

Thank you.

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21:21 May 01, 2024

What a great build up to the reveal at the end

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Darvico Ulmeli
21:36 May 01, 2024

Thank you.

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Sherri Moorer
19:37 May 01, 2024

Excellent story. I like the use of the parrot. Then again, I love birds. And yes, as a "mommy" to two parrots I can confirm that they have a lot of dirt on us and may blurt it out when it's most inconvenient. :)

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Darvico Ulmeli
21:51 May 01, 2024

Thank you.

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Helen A Smith
13:08 Apr 29, 2024

Very original take on the creation story. You just had to feel sorry for poor old Adam. I particularly liked the interaction with the monkey. You made Paradise seem a lonely place. Very creative take on the prompt.

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Darvico Ulmeli
13:12 Apr 29, 2024

Thank you, Helen. Glad that you like it.

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Linda Kenah
21:41 Apr 24, 2024

Great story, Darvico. I love reading your stories - always so creative. I was thinking Adam, but wasn't sure til the end. Great take on the prompt. Well done!

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Darvico Ulmeli
22:34 Apr 24, 2024

Thank you.

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Yuliya Borodina
17:07 Apr 24, 2024

Reading a lot of short stories, I find that many fade from memory after a while. This one will stay for sure (I've recorded it on my parrot). Such a lovely job, Darvico! This is unique, and funny, and creative and somehow even logical. Loved it!

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Darvico Ulmeli
17:22 Apr 24, 2024

Thank you very much. I was really enjoying writing this story.

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RJ Holmquist
15:00 Apr 24, 2024

You do have to be careful what you say around parrots don't you? If they have been recording us since creation, they must have a lot of dirt on us should they choose to divulge! Nice work!

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Darvico Ulmeli
15:31 Apr 24, 2024

You get that right! Thnx for reading the story.

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Laurie Spellman
12:43 Apr 24, 2024

Loved 🥰

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Darvico Ulmeli
13:17 Apr 24, 2024

Thank you.

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Trudy Jas
15:08 Apr 22, 2024

Very creative take on the prompt. (I had to get another parrot, the 1st one lost its memory - this one starts talking/I can't shut it up) funny.

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Darvico Ulmeli
15:37 Apr 22, 2024

Thanks a lot.

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Fern Everton
03:30 Apr 22, 2024

My jaw dropped at the end— I suppose my mind had been fixing for an alien story, haha! What a fun take on the Bible’s story of creation!! I love the idea that Adam was recording his adventures through Eden whilst naming everything he saw as he did in the myth. He also seemed glad when he found out he was no longer alone and Eve would be there with him. Very much enjoyed this!

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Darvico Ulmeli
05:24 Apr 22, 2024

That was my intention. Glad that you like it.

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Mary Bendickson
22:04 Apr 20, 2024

Did have a garden vibe to the whole place.

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Darvico Ulmeli
22:15 Apr 20, 2024

Thank you for reading.

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Mary Bendickson
22:25 Apr 20, 2024

So creative.

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Daniel Rogers
21:06 Apr 20, 2024

A fun and interesting take on creation. I had to check twice, but wow, you already have this week's story done. I haven't even read the prompts yet. lol

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Darvico Ulmeli
21:36 Apr 20, 2024

That is very kind of you. Thanks.

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