๐๐พ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ป'๐ผ ๐๐ธ๐ฝ๐ฎ: ๐ ๐ญ๐ธ๐ท'๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ถ๐พ๐ฌ๐ฑ ๐ฝ๐ธ ๐ผ๐ช๐ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ผ. ๐๐ฝ'๐ผ ๐น๐ป๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ป๐ฝ ๐ซ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ต ๐ต๐ฒ๐ด๐ฎ ๐ฒ๐ฝ ๐ถ๐ธ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ต๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ผ ๐ฝ๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐น๐ป๐ธ๐ถ๐น๐ฝ. ๐'๐ถ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐ท๐ฎ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ต๐ ๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ ๐ผ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฒ๐ฝ, ๐ผ๐ธ ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ซ๐ช๐ฌ๐ด ๐ฒ๐ผ ๐ช๐น๐น๐ป๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ช๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ญ. ๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ด๐ผ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ!
Six years.
Thatโs how long I spent on that ship, the ship that never seemed to go anywhere good. The wind took our sails from one bomb to another, one battle to another. Never anywhere good.
I didnโt have a purpose there, they could have survived this thing they call a โwarโ without me. A few extra rats donโt make the difference between life and death. But that didnโt matter to them, they kept me on the floating disaster as nothing more than a solution to their rodent problem. I didnโt have any choice but to kill one rat after another, to watch the blood stain the deck of the boat, to lose a part of myself with every passing day.
That ship took everything from me.
Iโll never forget the explosion, the one I wasnโt able to run from in time. The one that left me without a tail. I always loved having a tail, I could never understand how the Bipeds live without one. My tail was my balance, my best way to communicate, the way I expressed myself. Not anymore. Not after that bomb.
When I curled up in my hammock every night, the one Wyatt made me, my fur stood on end. When cold gusts of wind swept through the corridors in the middle of the night, smelling of death, my exposed nose seemed to freeze. But worst of all, when I lay awake freezing in the middle of the night, I couldnโt wrap my tail around my body to preserve my warmth. I could only stare at the stub of where it used to be.
As you might be able to tell, I hated the Bipeds. Well, all except for one. Heโs gone now, though, and he isnโt coming back. The disgusting thing they call a โwarโ took him.
Wyatt made me less sure all Bipeds are appalling while he was with me on the endlessly sailing ship. All of them looked the same to me, with their identical uniforms and short, dark hair. All except Wyatt. It was something in his eyes that made me jump up into his waiting lap instead of retreating to the corner and hissing as I did around the other soldiers.
When Wyatt first found me, a stray having wandered onto the ship by mistake, he took me in. Feeding me scraps of food and convincing the captain to let me stay on as a โship catโ as they called it. I was grateful then, now I wish I would never have stumbled upon this place. Back then I didnโt know the ship was a vessel of death.
Wyatt didnโt see us as two different species, he saw us as two souls fighting our way through the war together. He didnโt treat me as a lesser being, calling me โanimalโ in the condescending tone the other soldiers used, he called me Emmet. The name he gave me.
โWe wonโt be here forever, Emmet,โ he would tell me, โSomeday all of this will be over, and weโll be free. Youโll be able to come home with me and get off this god darn ship for good. I promise you that.โ
The thing they call a โwarโ made him break that promise.
Heโs gone now, though. Thereโs no sense in talking about him anymore.
๐๐๐
Ezra. Another crewmate on that cursed ship. I didnโt personally care for him, but Wyatt seemed to trust him so I didnโt run when he entered a room. Three days ago he told me heโs taking me home to his family. I heard he has a child, Iโm not excited. But anywhere seems better than where Iโve been.
He shoves me into a metal crate, leaving me to peer powerlessly out at the passing sights as he walks. He swings the carrier from side to side, making me slide back and forth inside. But Iโm not surprised, the Bipeds are never considerate.
When he walks us to the door and knocks, the door is immediately flung open by his tearful family. His wife, Hannah he calls her, looks so pale she might faint in the doorway. Their little girl, Mila watches. Sheโs only five years old, Ezra said. She hasnโt lived long enough to meet her father. Ever since she was born her dad was an imaginary figure, a superhero as her mother called him, never anyone she knew.
Ezra pulls her into a hug, leading her to the living room where he collapses onto the couch, letting Hannah cry into his shirt mumbling incoherent chopped-up sentences. Mila takes it in, standing beside my crate that has been left by the door.
She slowly approaches my crate, her bare feet slapping against the floor, and she reaches out one hand to let me sniff. She smells like peanut butter cookies and applesauce. Not blood or death.
โHere kitty kitty, come out and say hi,โ she says, opening the crate door and beckoning me forward. I cautiously step out onto the slippery floor. It feels strange to be standing on the still ground after so long on the water.
Her hands are sticky, getting stuck in my ashy fur as she runs her fingers through it. The Bipeds never seemed to know how to clean themselves properly.
โNice kitty,โ she whispers softly as she pets me. I donโt hiss at her or run, she has an innocence to her that seems hard to come by these days.
๐๐๐
They tell me this place is home.
I wonder, was the battleship home? I certainly wasn't happy there, but Iโm not happy here either. Neither place makes me feel complete.
Every morning Mila pours kibble into a bowl on the floor and says, โBreakfast time, kitty kitty.โ
I reluctantly eat the dry food while she strokes my fur gently. I donโt care for the Bipeds, but I can stand her.
Every night Mila picks me up, holding me close to her body as she walks into her room that is covered in daisy wallpaper. She sets me on her bed as she brushes her teeth then climbs under the covers next to me.
โSweet dreams, kitty kitty,โ she tells me.
I mew, then curl up in the puffy covers. The small blanket she drapes over me almost makes up for my lack of a tail.
As she slowly drifts off to sleep, her small wisps of her breathing evening out, I yawn and curl up to her side.
The thing they call a โwarโ scarred all of us; young and old, furry and hairless, innocent and guilty. Even though the war has ended, the pain stayed with all of us. My only hope is that we can learn to bear the memories eventually.
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155 comments
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Thanks! :D
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:) It was my pleasure!
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:)
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This is great! I loved the vocabulary, and how you really touched into the characters feelings! I have no feedback for you, because it is perfect, in my opinion! If you wanted, you could check out my first submisson and give me some feedback! It's not as popular as I would like it to be, landing its spot at 5 likes lol, but tt's a good start!
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Thank you so much! I read it and commented! :)
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Cute story. Making your protagonist a cat was a smart touch. Clever way to write about the prompt too.
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Thank you, Micheal! :)
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I loved the perspective of an animal who was forcefully made to bear the war. Your idea was very unique and had a well-rounded plot. It was a kinda short memoir about the life story of the cat. You caught the animal's emotions through the different phases of life really well. nice work, keep writing.
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Very clever take on the prompt! I feel like you nailed the characterization of a dramatic, disgruntled cat, and this was so well written! Just as some constructive criticism, I've noticed that some sentences in your submission could benefit from having a semicolon. Ex. "I was grateful then, now I wish I would never have stumbled upon this place." Ex. I heard he has a child, Iโm not excited. Since you could split this up into two distinct sentences, it makes more sense to have a semicolon. Unless you opt to have two shorter sentences. But,...
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Awesome story.. And from the perspective of the cat.. Loved it.. and the ending is great too..! Well crafted words.. :)
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Thank you! :)
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Interesting take on the prompt, props for thinking outside of the box. I like the symbolism behind the cat losing her tail from the war missing it dearly, to the girl giving her the blanket to keep her warm in place. Love making up for hate, although it will never be the same. I did find it funny that the cat complains about killing the rats however, I would have thought that would be paradise for a cat haha. I would appreciate greatly it if you could check out my latest story "The modern Luddites" and let me know what you think of it, thanks
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Love this. Is part 3 done yet of the collaboration?
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I'm just about to finish part 3, after you eat dinner could you do part four? I think then we could probably finish in time.
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Maybe. I can only do so much writing per day, and I have homework to do, but maybe?
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Alright. You could also spam words if you don't finish in time and go back and edit after the deadline. Or do the story without part 4?
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Ooh the part you have so far for part 4 is really great!!!
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Thanks! I jsut ahve to finish it... it's kind of long.
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Okay!! Tell me if you finish tonight so we can submit it. Also, I'll go back and edit and add details. :)
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I'm gonna go afk for a sec.
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Hi Maya, how are you? lol what do you think the new prompts will be about? :>
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Hiii Danny! I'm okay. Ooh, I'm excited about the new prompts! Idk, what're you hoping for? Also, I LOVE your new pfp and bio!!! :DDD <3
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Hmm, idk...I hope they're something good, maybe.. Umm, idk there's Valentine's and Chinese New year so... Ohh, thanks..I love yours too :)) <3
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Ooh yeah, probably romance ones. XD I want to write a sad romance, Idk why I just thought that. XD Thanks! <333
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Ohh, can't wait to read it...I loooove reading romance :))
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Ooh me too kinda! :))) Did you read The Selection?
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sorry I had to leave :( my internet was being a jerk
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Aw, it's alright! It was nice playing with you! :)
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Thanks! Iโll try to join the next time you do this!
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Yay! :DDD
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WOAH! I LOVED THIS! GREAT JOB! Hehe! Love the name, btw. ;D
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Thanks, Fearless! ;D
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This is so good!!! It was a very interesting viewpoint and it was a very interesting take on the prompt. Nice job Maya!!
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Thank you, Luna! :D
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:DD lol just realized I said very interesting twiceXDDD
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Lol XDD
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HI! So I loved you and Bill's idea to change names to Disney characters... Just thought I'd let you know I'm part of the group lmao. Anyway, I love this story so much (:
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Awesome! I put you on the list. Sorry if this is rude, but what was your name before? Thanks! (:
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It was CJ lol, and you're fine.
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Ohhhhh, okay. XD Are you Tinky Bell too because I saw that and put it on the list, too. XD
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Nope totally not me.. I saw it to lol
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Lol okay :)
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I love this viewpoint! Although, I only have one question; Is it a rat or a mouse? Aren't rats more common on ships? I love the line The thing they call a โwarโ. That could honestly be used in so many different contexts.
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Thanks so much! Yeah, it would probably be a rat, I just think of them as the same thing. And I say mouse because I feel like people who hate mice/rats would say rats. Lol I'm weird. XD
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Aww! Adorable!
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Thanks! :D
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When are you going to make the seires you have been talking about?? Can't wait!!! :DDD
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I am soon! I was gonna this week but the prompts are hard since they're all historical fiction. :/
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Hi, Maya. I thought this story was extremely unique and a great twist on the prompt. You did a great job portraying all the characters and scenes perfectly. The emotion and intrigue were all there in specific and subtle details, great job! -lily
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Thanks so much, Lily!!! :D <3
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Hi Maya! Loved this story<333 I really thought making it in a cat's perspective is super creative so great work! And loved how he didn't have a tail and he and his owner were on a boat and how stuff ended up for him so loved that!!! Keep it up~
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Thank you so much, Varsha!!! <333 I really appreciate it! :)
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NP!!!! <33333 :)))
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<333333 You excited for your birthday tomorrow? XD
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<3333 Yup!!! btw, when is urs? I wanna get ready LOL!
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:DDDDD In October XD I'm a Scorpio. :)
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Cattttsssss omfg maya this was amazing!!
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Omg thanks!!! XD
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yeah! XD
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XD
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Ahhhh Maya, from all the stories I've read for the prompts, this one stands out among all of them.... Wow, how did you even think of a cat to narrate the story in the first place? It's amazinggggg! And I love the name the cat used to call humans.. Biped... That's fancy~ And also, also..... the names!.... For some reason, Wyatt, Ezra, and Emmett should belong in the same category when.... Categorizing names.. Lol they just go so well together... I love this story, if this story doesn't win, I'm going to cry... Great job! :DD
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Ohmigosh thank you!!! Lol thanks~ I saw thing abut a cat in the navy randomly, so that's where it came from. ;p Yeah I thought so too XDD Thannkkkkk yoouuuuu :DDD <333
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Of courseeee :))) also, reminds me... There was that bear in the war.....idk..I just thought of it.... Wait what cat are you talking about? The kitten? The ginger cat? XDD
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:))) Wait- omg- I think I read about that bear in the exact same article. Hehehe I'm not sure... ? XD
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What?? Really?? I think it was Russian? Not sure, though XD
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Lol I just saw a picture of a bunch of soldiers and a huge bear sitting with them. XDD Omg urgh I hate playing flute, I'm trying to do my assignment and the website my class uses is saying I'm playing everything wronggggg It says I did the rest incorrect! Omg I didn't even play anything cause it was a REST. Sorryyyy I'm annoyed at the app. XD
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This was a beautiful and unique story...it fit the prompt pretty well actually, and it was a different and nice take on it too! I loved how it was from a cat's perspective, though I'm a dog person myself :) It was short, sad, and heartfelt. Wonderfully written. I loved this read
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Thank you! I like dogs and cats, I have a puppy but he's crazy so, cat's are calmer. XD
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Haha XD
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;p :)
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