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Friendship Teens & Young Adult Funny

“I'm not indecisive! I just don’t know what I want!” 

Beth’s friends burst out laughing trying to drown their guffaws within the contents of their cocktails. They’d known each other for nearly 20 years, since primary school, so the idea their friend would not tie herself in knots over the smallest decision was borderline science fiction.  

“Bee, some people are determined and focused and know what they want at every possible turn… and some are not,” smirked Jess, Beth’s bestest and most longest suffering of friends. The other two cocktail buddies nodded along as Beth took it in. 

“Yeah it’s not a bad thing!” said Lisa, the friend who was very decisive but always in the wrong direction. She didn’t choose the bad guys on purpose, it just came naturally to her. 

“Exactly it’s your strength but sometimes it would be good to decide precisely where we’re going out further in advance and not change it at the last minute,” Ted winced thinking he may have gone too far. 

Beth was his best friend at work so he didn’t want to jeopardise one of the main reasons he went into the office most days. He always told Beth if he wasn’t gay, he would definitely date someone like her, which she always took as a backhanded compliment, feeling he didn’t mean anything more specific than “female”. 

Beth took a mouthful of her Porn Star as she stared at all of her friends, deciding how to respond to their cheeky accusations. She could laugh it off and carry on enjoying her evening or prove them wrong. This was the moment where an idea, the kind you get when your second overly sweet cocktail hits you hard, something so crazy that Beth was overwhelmed by a feeling she hadn’t felt in years. There was no second option, she was doing this right now! She slammed down her drink and stood up to address the cocktail crew. 

“Well if that’s how you really feel!! I want to make you a bet…” Beth stopped for dramatic effect as her three mates stared at her thinking they may have to drink up soon as she might get them thrown out. 

“Go on!” said Lisa, intrigued by this version of Beth that had just appeared in front of them. 

“I bet that for the rest of tonight I can be decisive and go with the first thought that comes into my head. Be impulsive and see what happens!” Beth shouted her words but still sounded a little unsure about what she was saying. Lisa, Jess and Ted stared open mouthed, then turned slowly to face each other and burst out laughing spilling some of their cocktails in the process. 

“I’m serious! Stop laughing you cheeky gits!! Okay I’ll make it interesting. I bet you £100 each I can do this.” Beth picked up her cocktail to clink on it. They all instantly stood up and almost shattered the glass in Beth’s hand clinking the Porn Star as hard as possible. 

“You’re on!!” 

They all sat down giggling with excitement staring at each other thinking this night was going to be one to remember. Before anyone could ask Beth what her first impulse thought would be, a waiter walked over to their table noticing they had almost finished their latest cocktails. 

“Are you ready to order?” he asked hoping they would say yes as the group had already taken far too long to move beyond the opening drinks. Lisa responded for everyone. 

“YES! Yes we are and my friend Beth will get us started, won’t you matey?” Lisa stared over at her friend thinking this would be the easiest £100 she’d ever made. Beth glared at her friends with a fake smile before launching into her bet persona. 

“Yes indeedy doo, Leese me old chum! No need to look at the menu, fire away Mr Waiter!” For some reason Beth had gone for an accent, she’d regretted it straight away but it was definitely there. Somewhere between French and Welsh. Her friends’ faces had gone from excitement to horror in two seconds. Beth coughed, lost the accent and the waiter clicked on his tablet to open the digital menu. 

“What would you like to order?” 

“I would like the Pomodoro salad to start followed by the…” 

“We don’t do Pomodoro,” the waiter enjoyed correcting the customers. 

“Really, oh well then, I’ll have erm the prawns!” Beth panicked, was that even enough detail to order something? On this occasion it was! The waiter nodded and tapped it into his screen. 

“Great! For main I’ll have the Sea-bass with a side of vegetables and sweet potato fries.” 

The waiter continued to nod and tap. Beth was impressing herself. This was on course to being the quickest restaurant order she’d made in years. 

“And for dessert?” asked the waiter noticing how the rest of the table were leaning in to hear everything. 

“Oh! Brownie?” said Beth hoping that was generic enough to be on the menu. She breathed a sigh of relief, she’d done it and Ted gave her a silent little hand clap mouthing “Well done!”  

“Cream or ice cream?” interrupted the waiter having completed his latest tap routine on the tablet. 

Beth’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting this much choice on the dessert! She had milliseconds or the bet was over. Could she? Would she? Her mouth ignored her doubts and blurted it out. 

“BOTH! Yes my good man, hit me with both of those bad boys!” Beth waved her hands around like some kind of drunk matador and the waiter moved onto the rest of the table’s orders. She didn’t listen for a minute or so as she tried to calm down after that frantic few minutes. Her brain was constantly pulling her back into her indecisive mind set so it was taking a lot of energy to keep this up. The waiter stopped tapping and talking and turned back to Beth. 

“And what drink would you like?”  

She had forgotten about a drink and the rest of her mates must have mentioned their orders while she was daydreaming. There was no way Beth wanted to open the drinks menu or she would lose the bet so she went with the obvious option. 

“You choose! I’ll take your recommendation. Surprise me!”  

The waiter looked shellshocked, no one had asked him to do this before. He wasn’t sure how to react but composed himself, smiled, tapped something into his tablet and walked off to get their drinks. 

Jess, Lisa and Ted burst out laughing at Beth as she slumped in her seat. 

“That was amazing! What have you done with Beth?” asked Jess leaning in for a closer look at this imposter. 

“See, told you I could do it! Never in doubt” Beth had a bit of swagger now, this might actually be a bet she could win.  

“Now you need to keep it up. Rest of the night, remember!” said Ted bringing his indecisive mate back down to Earth but Beth didn’t let her mask slip. 

“Simple! I’m just getting started.” 

The waiter came over and placed a Mojito in front of Beth. Well he certainly surprised her, mainly because he’d chosen the cocktail she liked the least out of the whole drinks’ menu. Beth picked up the cocktail, raised it to the waiter and pretended to sip it as he walked back to the bar. As soon as he was far enough away she spat the mouthful of Mojito back in her glass and drank a glass of water to get rid of the taste.  

— 

Four hours later Beth was in a kebab shop ordering the biggest Doner and chips she’d ever seen as was the first thing that came into her head. Lisa and Ted had bailed and gone home an hour ago and Jess was waiting outside sat at a bus stop. Somehow Beth had kept to the bet all night and it was going pretty well.  

After the success of the restaurant they moved into a nearby bar where Lisa noticed Beth checking out a guy across the room. Without any further coercion, Beth strolled over to her target, had a fairly awkward conversation with him but told him about the bet and if she didn’t get his number she would lose. He smiled and agreed. Although when Beth dialled the number much later that evening she discovered it was the mobile number of a local curry house. A very odd conversation with the owner ensued. 

Ted notified the group his house mate was having a party and they could go there. Beth agreed immediately and off they went into the night. The party was a highly camp affair where Beth hit peak decisiveness and threw herself into a host of conversations, food, drink and party games. Jess, Lisa and Ted thought they were dreaming when the party culminated with a screamed suggestion from Beth of a huge dance off. Twenty five people split in two trying to out do each other with a crazy dance routine to the songs of Lizzo will be a difficult one to beat in the future. Ted’s housemate asked Beth, “Where have you been hiding?”  

Ted stayed behind to help clean up his place and Lisa went home leaving Jess and Beth to keep the night going. Jess gave Beth the choice of what late night snack they should have and she chose a kebab shop which was a few streets away. Halfway there Beth felt the pavements were too boring so she declared she would do the rest of the journey by car, got up on the bonnet of the nearest Nissan and tried to run and jump from car to car. Falling off the side of the fifth car, Jess picked up Beth off the pavement and said “I won’t tell the others.” Beth replied “Thanks mate!” 

Having ordered her kebab and chips, Beth continued to be in a daze reminiscing on her crazy night. She’d loved the feeling of being so impulsive and wondered if she needed to return to normal after all. A cheeky smile appeared across her face, she took out her mobile and started writing a text message. 

Sitting at the bus stop regretting just ordering a Coke, Jess was also thinking about the night and couldn’t believe how different Beth had become in such a short space of time. Part of her hoped Beth would be back to normal tomorrow or at least a bit more balanced. Tonight had been a whirlwind to say the least. Her mobile beeped, Jess took it out of her coat pocket and as she read the words “GET READY TO RUN!!” a huge noise came from further down the road inside the kebab shop. 

Jess looked down the road and there was Beth, running out of the kebab shop, kebab and chips in her hand sprinting towards the bus stop. 

“Come on Jess!!” Beth screamed with a huge smile on her face as she ran past the bus stop too scared to slow down. Jess joined her mate running like the wind down the road unaware the kebab owner couldn’t be bothered to chase after them, especially when the shop was about to shut so they’d throw the remaining unsold food away. 

These two old friends held hands running down the road, it was like they were kids again before all the stress of grown-up life got in the way. It was the best moment of the night for Beth, better than winning the bet, the dance off, the lot. As soon as they realised no one was on their tail they stopped, burst out laughing and tucked into the stolen food. In mid chip, Jess interrupted the sound of the munching: 

“Bee, you were really amazing tonight. Do you think you’ll keep up this New You?” 

“No fuckin way! I’ve had great fun Jess but my head is killing me!! No, back to boring old Bee in the morning.” 

Half an hour later, Jess and Beth said their goodbyes and headed back to their respective flats for a well-earned rest. Beth decided to walk home to get some air to try and clear her head. At some point, the oxygen mixed with the large amounts of alcohol and, rather than clear her head, Beth’s brain started to give her ideas again, the worst kind. Flicking through her contacts Beth had the ultimate impulsive idea, the one she’d wanted to do for a very long time. If she was going to go back to normal in the morning, why not go out in style? Lisa did this type of thing all the time! If Jess was around she’d definitely convince her not to do this one but she wasn’t. Beth dialled the number… 

— 

“Fancy a coffee?” 

Beth’s eyes shot open, this wasn’t her flat. Her eyes raced around the room, it looked familiar. She was laying on a sofa in a living room with a blanket over her. Lifting the blanket she took a peek, she was in her underwear. What happened? She didn’t need to wait long to find out when a man came in with a milky coffee and placed it on the table next to her. 

“Just how you like it!” said Michael smiling back at Beth as he walked back to the kitchen. 

Beth’s jaw hit the floor and it all flooded back to her. She dialled the person she’d fancied for years and her night of crazy gave her the nerve to finally act on it. Her mobile started to ring, she looked at the screen. Oh god! She couldn’t answer, not here, how could she explain this one? It stopped ringing and then started all over again thirty seconds later. This was a mistake and best to forget it ever happened, she just needed to talk to Michael about it being a one off and… 

TAP! TAP! TAP!!! 

Beth eyes shot over to the window where something was tapping the glass. On the other side of the window stood Jess, phone still ringing pressed up to her ear, open mouthed trying to figure out why her best mate was stood in her Dad’s house in her bra and pants. Above the sound of the ringtone, Beth read her friend’s lips through the glass. 

“What the f...!?” 

May 28, 2021 19:33

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7 comments

Jj Gomez
17:42 Jun 10, 2021

This is paced like Loony tunes. So hectic but in a good way. Stray thoughts: If a girl came up to me and told me she needed my number for a bet, id give it to her, not a fake. This fictional douche who shows up for like a scene has forever earned my ire. The dance off made me chuckle. I like the twist, but maybe mention the Dad earlier, either in passing or as a thought. Well done!

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PJ Aitken
17:55 Jun 10, 2021

Thanks JJ! There were lots of even loonier moments I had to remove to fit the word limit so, if I expand into a novel, I’ll bring them back in.

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Eric D.
03:32 Jun 04, 2021

Crazy cliffhanger

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PJ Aitken
03:44 Jun 04, 2021

Thank you Eric - that is also my wrestler name:-)

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Nyx :)
18:10 Jun 02, 2021

that was really good but a little confusing, also is there going to be a part two?

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PJ Aitken
03:43 Jun 04, 2021

Thanks Sylvan - there's definitely a novel in this idea so if I did write more it would be part of that.

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Nyx :)
14:00 Jun 04, 2021

yay!

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