You aren't ready for it. Nevertheless, you have to do it. Holding the hands of a girl and running away from something, you can't really distinguish.
You have no clue about your father, as he ran away before you were born. Your mother is nowhere to be seen and the only human with you is the girl, Layla.
"How are we going to escape?" she asks you and you shoot a look at her.
You are clueless about what is happening. She is a lean, bold woman, with striking blue eyes that seem to stare into your soul. You are expecting someone to aim the rifle and shoot right at the ugly guys who were chasing you and the girl. But, that doesn't happen.
Suddenly, both of you fall into something. Blood starts trickling out of her little fingers.
Surprisingly, there is a bandage before you. You give it to her and see a dark, cave like structure. You proceed into it.
And what you discover is even more surprising. A portal!
Anywhere away from these ugly creatures is okay for you.
You grab her hand and make a run for it, while she stres in awe.
And what a discovery you make! A whole cluster of weapons!
Now, you are the man with the rifle. You grab some pistols and place them into your pocket. Then you put on the bulletproof jacket and take a rifle in your hands. You walk out of the portal triumphantly.
She picks up a pistol and walks out of it. You have a feel that you could kill them all.
"What are we going to do now?" she asks you.
"Kill- them- all," you pronounce.
"Okay," she says.
"We shoot them all and take shelter somewhere," you say and try to climb the pit. The creatures watch you from above.
There would be something to climb this up as well.
You see a springy thing besides your leg. "Only once" is written on it with dark, bold letters. You jump on it and land before the ugly guys.
She comes up in the same way.
Come on, creatures.Β
You load your gun and push the trigger. Simply, nothing comes out.
"Did you load the bullets?" she calls.
Then you realise that you didn't have any bullets and give her a slight grin. She had only six bullets for the pistol. You don't risk your life in that pit.
What if it's only for a single use?
So, you stand beside her waiting for your doom. You are too tired to run.
The world is in a diminished form. No building is standing upright. Everything is in ruins. A meteorite and a bomb at the same time did this to your world.
You didn't expect this apocalypse to happen.
Β You are disappointed with yourself for your carelessness.
The creatures approach you andΒ Layla. You want to die peacefully. So, you sit down with your hands on your head and shut your eyes.
The creatures stop suddenly.
A cool breeze runs over you. You turn back and see a large plate over your shoulders. The large plate lands on the ground and some weird guys with antennas come out of it. They are red and their eyes bulge out of their heads. Ultimately, a man gets down from the plate like thing.
You are relieved when you see a man. Layla heaves a sigh of relief too.
The man comes near you and whispers, "These are the stupidest aliens in the galaxy known as Xythes. They are easy to tackle. Please follow my orders."
"Yeah, sure," you say.
Β At least someone to help.
One of the aliens says, "Boss, this planet is very hot. The oxygen level is also low. Only one percent of water is remaining in this planet."
Boss alien replies, "Anything better than our planet is okay."
"Okay, boss."
Boss alien says, pointing at the ugly creatures, "I think they are also trying to rule this planet. We should kill them all."
The creatures leave out cries in response and approach the aliens while Layla and you follow the man onto the plate silently. The aliens take out their sophisticated weapons and start shooting the creatures.
"Do you know what they really are?" Layla asks the man, pointing the ugly creatures.
"Well, they are half dead creatures known as zombies. They crave for blood and if even a drop of their saliva touches you, you become one of them," he says.
"Ooooh, then that was close, Layla," you say.
He is an old man with white hair springing onto different sides. Although he looks old, he is fast enough.Β Β
He embarks the spaceship and Boom! It starts with fire coming out of its engine, roasting the aliens. But they neither die nor realise their ship is stolen.
You make yourself comfortable in the spaceship and put on the seat belt.
"Okay, can you introduce yourself?" you ask him.
"Yeah, I forgot about it. I am a space wanderer and my name is Ronny," he says.
I have heard this name before.Β
You start thinking about it when a meteoroid crashes the plate spaceship. Red lights cover the spaceship and it is totally out of control.
"Ronny," Layla calls, but he gives no answer and passes out.
"Do you know how to operate a spaceship?" you ask Layla.
"No. Why do you think I want Ronny's help?" she replies, panicking and goes to the control centre of the spaceship.
You pour some water on Ronny, but he doesn't wake up.
Layla pushes down all the buttons on the control centre and music starts playing with colourful lights.
Even aliens love parties!
Then the spaceship does a somersault. That is when you discover a planet nearby. The spaceship has a steering wheel. Layla and you try hard to turn the steering wheel and finally you turn it!
The planet looks rocky from outside and is yellow in colour. You have no choice but to land the spaceship on the planet. Ronny is also unconscious.
And suddenly, you remember him.
You leave the steering and go near Ronny.
"Father, please wake up," you say, patting his shoulders. A drop of tear touches his face from your eyes.
"Don't worry, my son. I am there for you," he says, patting your head.
"Yeah, you are alive," you exclaim with joy.
"Yeah, I am."
"Why did you run away?"
"Those stupid aliens kidnapped me."
"I think that is the reason you roasted them," Layla says.
"Let's talk about that afterwards. I think it's an engine failure. Someone has to go down and attach this thing to the engine," he says, showing you a pointy object.
"I will do it," you say and try to grab the object from him.
"Uh-huh. No way, I am doing it," he says and puts on the astronaut suit. He waves his hand and jumps into open space.
"Pull the steering when I say," your father shouts through the radio transmitter.
"Okay," Layla says.
After a while, Ronny shouts, "Nooooooow."
Layla pulls the steering towards the yellow planet.
The engine starts working! It's now much easier to pull the steering.
You, Layla and your father land on the planet safely. No, not safely. It is a crash landing. You run out of the plate spaceship and little did you know what was going to happen!
A bunch of the same type of red aliens is standing in front of you. Well, Xythes are cannibals.
They look hungry!
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387 comments
Aaaah this was pretty cool! Combination of zombies and alienssss yeeeeee I'd suggest keeping a unique name for the aliens, you know. Just a suggestion as it'd add more uniqueness to it:) the ending was unexpected and for a first try, you've done really well :n
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Yeeee... Yeah, will keep it now. Thanks for the suggestion. Thank you, Orenda. Thinking of a right name... (any title suggestions?)
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How about Reddies or Alieye? (okay I am totally out of names. Please suggest something)
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umm...sedly, i'm out of names too:(
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Okay, if you get something, please say. I will think up a name too.
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ye sure
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How about rediots?
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The ending was quite dangerous. We need a second part of course
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Yeah. I will write it when the prompt comes!
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This was sooo good! I just loved everything about it - the descriptions, the characters, great job! (PS, I love your new profile picture! Avengers, assemble!)
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I am glad you loved my story. Thank you! You made my day! (PS, I am a hardcore Marvel fan. Glad you love it. Avengers, assemble)
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Aww, no problem!! (PS, saaaame! Who's your favorite character?)
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(PS, yea! Captain America, spiderman, thor, black panther. Actually everyone. Yours..)
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Mine's either Quicksilver, Spiderman, Scarlet Witch, or Iron Man!
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Great! Iron man died.ππ±
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Great story! I like how you incorporated both zombies and aliens
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Thank you!
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No problem! :)
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bruhh i googled 'do a barrel flip' and i swear, IT MESSED UP THE CONTENTS OF MY BRAIN!
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Yeah, its so wonderful. I loved it the first time I saw it. Enjoy! π€£π€£
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yasss
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He he I know another fact about google. Do you want it?ππ
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ye shoot!
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241543903 Type this number in google and you will see men with head in freezersπ€£π€£π€£ (seriously though, lol)
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I got a pun. What do you call an alligator in a vest? Investigator
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Alas! CSK LOOOSSSSEEEEEE
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Worst match ever!
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Yass
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Is your story approved before the notification of 10 points?
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Meaning?
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Dude, is your story visible for all?
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Yeah!
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No I donβt think so
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What??
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My story didn't get approved. π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯ π₯β‘π₯β‘π₯ π₯π£π₯π£π₯ π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯ π₯πΏπΏπΏπ₯ π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯
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βοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππππβοΈ βοΈππππβοΈ βοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππππβοΈ ππβοΈβοΈππ ππβοΈβοΈππ ππβοΈβοΈππ ππβοΈβοΈππ βοΈππππβοΈ βοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππβοΈβοΈβοΈ βοΈππππβοΈ βοΈππππβοΈ βοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈ
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Summary: Lol ππ
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He he
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Yeah a pretty cool story. Liked the combo of zombies π§ββοΈ and aliens π½. You could just take another cool or funky title for the story
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Thanks!(please like my story)
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This was really fast-paced maybe even more so because of the second-person pov. It really makes your heart beat faster! My critique: The story may need to be fleshed out a bit more near the end when he realizes it's his father. It seemed too sudden. Anyways, I'm new to Reedsy, so would you read my first story and give me a little feedback? Thanks!
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Thank you so much! I will look to that in my next. (I love writing fast paced stories :) Sure thing! I have liked it now, so it remains in my library. But why didn't you like your own story?
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Oh haha I will do that now. I definitely liked my own story!
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Hey which is ur favourite avenger? Mine are hulk and thor
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Mine are captain America, Spider-Man, Thor! And black panther!
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Cool
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Upvote spree!?
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Okay, dude. Thanks!
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Done for your 4 stories! (if the downvoted is downvoting again, I will upvote the 5th one also. Or else you will be at a lose of points and I wont be able to help you)
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K thanks I will upvote u too
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Welcome! Thank you!
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Never mind
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Ahh, I finally got to read it!! It was amazing!!! -The idea of having aliens and zombies together is very creative. And you nailed the second person POV. I don't think I found any POV related mistake. -Title ideas- 'Running from the Half-dead' or 'Xythes', I'm not good at naming stuff. -Well, I don't really have anything for critique, just that you still have about 1600+ words left, so maybe you could expand it. The plot is really nice so maybe stuff some more information in between. But I guess you're busy, doesn't matter, it is go...
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Thanks! -Thank you. You made my day. -Thank you for the suggestions. -Glad to hear that. I will try to. As you said I am busy. You too. Stay healthy. π
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Welcome for all the 'thanks'!!!π
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πππ
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ππππππ ππ
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πππππππ πππππππ πππ©ππ©ππ πππππππ ππΉππππΉπ πππΉπΉπΉππ πππππππ πππππππ
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πππππππ πππππππ πππππππ πππππππ πππππππ πππππππ πππππππ Thank you so much!
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Awww....it's so cute!!! Thank you so much:))
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Awwww.... thanks!!! Welcome, sis!( but I didnt actually do that. It was a ready made patternππππ)
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I thought so, but it was nice. Where did you get it from??
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From ginger keyboard, there's an option called patterns.
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What do you think I will put the genre for the story?
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Sci-fi, Adventure.
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Okay!
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I wrote my new story, just for you. Please read it.
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Great work!
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I love the story! It was super cool, adding Aliens and Zombies together!
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Glad you love it! Thank you so much!
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hey, could ya maybe help me with something?
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Yeah, what do you want! I am always free.
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Well, its kind of with one of my novels. and I was also wondering if you could maybe check out my new story and leave some feedback? It's called "Otherworldly Repairs"
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I will check out before today! Ask if you want some help!
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alright thanks, im excited to see what ya think ^^ well for my novels I need some help with a few things, not the regular story.
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I'm excited to read your stories too! Imma also started my novel. I will help you.
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I loved the way you wrote it. I was hooked from the start to the end. The ending was spine-chilling and unexpected. I liked that spaceship has the party feature like the grandmaster's spaceship. Keep writing :) and stay safe
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Glad you loved the way I wrote! Yeah, I like that grandmasterβs spaceship, it has everything. Thank you for reading and stay safe!
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This is a really interesting style of story! It feels like I'm playing a video game or a part of a "choose your own adventure" story. Very cool! If you do write a part 2, I look forward to reading it!
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Thank you for reading! I will write when the prompts are flexible!
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Never read a story like this in second-person. Really cool.
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Thanks!
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Hi Keerththan, Good job! I liked the plot twist! I like that your story is fast-paced, but I do think you could a few more explanations. The scene changes feel a little abrupt. Overall, creative take on the prompt! You should write a part 2. :)
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Hi Glad you liked my story! I am trying to add it but I couldn't add it anymore. And this was my first take in 2nd pov. Thank you for reading. I will write when the prompt comes :)
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It's action-packed for sure. Portals, caves, crashes, aliens, zombies, space travel. Something for everyone in this one.
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Thank you for reading!
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Woah!! Loved the Zom-ien combo... π€© The story was thrilling and fun to read. Keep up the good work!! βΊβ€π€π»
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Glad you loved it! Thank you for reading(would you mind liking my story if you haven't? Thanks)
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