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Sad Creative Nonfiction Fiction

I took out the knife.

My reflection stares back at me, judgment sparkling in its eyes.

You are nothing, absolutely nothing.Β 

It spats the words in my face. I puff my chest out, trying not to let its words get the best of me even though my heart is starting to crack inside.

You are an unimportant ghost.

A twisted smile creeps onto my reflection's face. It enjoys taunting me, it doesn't mind robbing me of my confidence, leaving me sad and helpless.

You are nothing but flaws. Only flaws.

Its words are sharp knives stabbing me over and over and over again. Tears begin to sting my eyes and my heart cracks a little more.

"..Please leave me alone, please stop," I beg it to end its torture-hasn't it had enough fun for today already?

It smirks, obviously pleased with the fact that I can't take its hurtful words much longer, that I've become too weak to withstand it any longer.

Weakling. A baby could punch you and you would probably begin to wail.

It taunts me, putting clear images in my mind of me and my flaws. My stupid flaws. Tears unwillingly roll down my cheeks and my heart only cracks more.

You imperfect little human. Why can't you just look like the models on TV?

My body trembles and my head falls downward, unable to look at my stupid reflection. I'm so weak. I'm so ugly. I'm so stupid.

I'm not enough. I'm not enough. I'm not enough.

I'm not smart. I'm not strong. I'm not beautiful.

I lift my head the slightest, meeting eyes with my reflection. Stupid reflection. A snarl positions itself on its face, my reflection's eyes glow hauntingly. It's growling seven words. Just seven words.

You're not enough. You'll never be enough.

I sink to the ground, my knees hitting the floor with a thud. Tears slide down my red cheeks and my whole body trembles like an earthquake is taking place inside me. I squeeze my eyes shut and disappear into an eerie blackness. There is nothing here. I'm drifting in space, no air to breathe, no water or food.

Alone.

I'm not enough. I'm not enough. I'm not enough.

I'm chanting the phrase over and over again, as if my life depends on it. Maybe if the reflection sees what has become of me, it'll take mercy on me. When it realizes how broken I've become, it'll surely take pity on me.

Surely.

Not enough.Β 

Imperfect human being. Flaws, only flaws. Weakling.Β 

Nothing.

I can hear my reflection singing a horrible song in my ear, whispering it over and over until it's stuck in my brain.

Nothing. Flaws. Models on TV...

"Stop. Please stop." My words are barely heard over the brutal song. No one can hear my cries for help.

Never enough. Weak. Imperfect...

"Just leave me alone! I beg you, please."

Stupid. Ugly. Ugly...

"...Please, I'll do anything. Please leave me alone, please."

Flaws. Nothing. Not enough-

Crash!

My fist slams into the mirror. Glass shards twinkle in the light, and the knife falls to the ground. I feel dark blood begin to run down my fist. I lift my head, wanting to see the damage I've done.

It's gone. My terrorizing reflection is gone.

Millions of glass shards lay on the floor around me, some even have cracks around their sharp edges.

I begin to cry. Loud, croaky sobs are strangled out of me as I rock back and forth, my body curled in a ball. Half of me is glad that it's all over, that the days of being bullied and tormented by my stupid reflection are over. But the other half of me sobs for another reason. How could I have fallen for it all? How could I have let my stupid reflection get the best of me? How could I have put up with all the hatred, all those mean comments?

I cry until a splitting ache in my head begins to slither in, I cry until I am too weak to stand, to even move.

Blackness tints the sky outside my window. Tiny little glowing lights sprinkle the darkness, like how basil is sprinkled over spaghetti as a garnish. And in that very moment, the strangest thought finds its way to my mind.

Aren't flaws like the stars in the sky? Maybe we just start out like the dark, black sky.

Maybe we start out as boring.

The thought rambles inside my head, growing and stretching until every thought leads to another, which leads to another.

Our flaws are the radiant stars in the night sky. They sparkle, they shine bright, making each of us unique and beautiful.

We are all beautiful, aren't we?

So if we were all perfect, if each one of us was the same as the next, if each one of us was only a black sky...

We would be boring, wouldn't we?

I smile at the weird, perhaps even quirky, thought.Β 

Flaws are etched inside of me. Hundreds of flaws.

I am not perfect.

A glowing hope warms my heart, like a flamed candle could warm a finger. It courses through my veins, igniting me with bright hope.

I remember my reflection. My stupid reflection. All the days of crying. All the days of feeling like I was neverΒ enough.

I was always enough. I will alwaysΒ beΒ enough.

My confidence is built up, brick by brick. I feel like I'm flying. I drift lightly in the air, like a balloon filled with helium.

I smile and push myself to my feet. My legs feel stronger, something I haven't felt in a long time.

It feels amazing.

I spot a larger shard of the mirror laying on the floor. It just lays there, glinting in the moonlight. It looks so helpless, so lost, so alone. Taking a deep breath, I approach the glass. I can see my reflection. It has a twisted grin, though its eyes are filled with fear.

The fear, I used to feel.

You're not enough, you imperfect little-

My foot smashes its face before it can finish its sentence.

I kick the knife to the side, "...I was going to die." I smile.

I know very well that I'm not anything near perfect, and I'm glad that I'm not.

October 24, 2021 17:46

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24 comments

Elliana Ramirez
17:54 Oct 24, 2021

First of all, you poor thing. I am so sorry that someone has made you feel this way. I can see self expression of inner pain in every word and phrase of this story. I want you to know that despite what you may be feeling, that you are wonderfully and fearfully made. You matter more than you know. The story itself is heart wrenching, I sense the inner struggle with self identity. This story is beautiful, you lead the story with passion and ended it with compassion. You inspire me.

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Ivy Spade
01:01 Oct 25, 2021

The message of the story hit me, I almost cried! This story is a great story. I loved it! Keep it up!

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Thank you so much! <3

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Ivy Spade
12:27 Oct 27, 2021

You're welcome!

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Rachel Rose
18:01 Oct 24, 2021

Oh. my. gosh. that. was. a.m.a.z.i.n.g πŸ’— This story was really gripping - It had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. You hit me in the feels with this one. You had great way with weaving this story, from the beginning to end.

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Gip Roberts
20:29 Oct 28, 2021

That's a truly inventive interpretation of the prompt, and it's good. You demonstrated how a pro handles writing about a facial expression with: "A snarl positions itself on its face." Most of all, I like the hopeful ending, which seems to indicate the character has hit a turning point in their life for the good. If that character is you, then you have plenty to proud of. Your writing, among other things.

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Thank you so much for commenting! My grin is too wide to describe. :) I had a more of a connection writing this one than all my other stories combined.

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Opal Fireball
19:20 Oct 28, 2021

Oh my goodness, this was an emotional roller coaster. I've felt like this before, hating myself for who I am, and I understand how hard it is. The feelings are so raw, so real, surely you've felt this before. I hope you're feeling okay! I'm sure you, like your character are a wonderful person, even if you aren't as pretty as all the models. :)

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<3 Yeah, this was something that happened to me. Oh, well I really hope you're better now-right? Thank you so much for this beautiful comment, Em. How are your acting classes going?

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Opal Fireball
20:51 Nov 01, 2021

Yes, I'm feeling better, still a little sad, but my friends helped cheer me up, in real life and online, so I'm doing good. Thanks for remembering! They're doing good, I performed a monologue!

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Angel {Readsy}
01:49 Oct 28, 2021

Yes flowers are stars, the topic is very fascinating

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Oh. Akshara, I'm so sorry you went through this. Luckily, you're better now-right?-so we all love that for you :) This story really hit hard with the emotions, so that's a sign that you're an amazing writer!

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Yeah, definitely, I'm getting better. Thank you so, so, so much Sienna. How's your Reedsycast going? Almost done?

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<3 Yeah, actually! The first book won't include many characters, as it's mostly about our characters that we came up with :)

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Oh, okay. <3 That's great, Sienna. (love ur name) πŸ’• Do you think I can use it for one of my characters? :)

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<3 Awwww tysm! Of course! I'd be honoured XD

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Aw, thanks! :) Check out my recent story? The character has your name. I hope you'll enjoy reading! πŸ’•

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Angel {Readsy}
16:03 Oct 27, 2021

"I'm not smart. I'm not strong. I'm not beautiful". Very sad, you are a very versatile writer keep writing .

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Sarah Desouza
15:44 Oct 27, 2021

Nice story. When I saw the word knife it freaked me out lol. Im a bit wary of the Haloween Topic. But in all sincerity I gave it a go.Nice story! I tried to take a Christian standpoint in my newest story, explaining the meaning of the two realms, the border or the outskirt of good and bad, God's reality vs the worlds reality (The prompt was about the border of two realms)This girl who avoids a halloween party and has a vision! Could you give it a read? All comments are welcome even the constructive criticism ;)

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I'm sorry, I'm going to add a Trigger warning. Thanks for commenting! Of-course, Sarah. I'd love to go and give your story a read. πŸ’«

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WOW! that was truly spectacular. I could feel all those emotions. Keep up the great work!!

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Thank you so much Ember, that means a lot to me! ✨

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